I saw a rerun of that Magnum P.I. guy in short-short and I was appled.
I meant to say appalled.
But those cutoffs are horrible. Especially when the pockets hang down.
Oh man, I just reminded myself of Gary Hennigan in 9th Grade in Louisiana. Not shorts-related, but he is the morbidly obese guy who everybody mocked as "Haystack" who I befriended, not an AF brat but at our school,and he turned out to be funny as h-e-double jester sticks. Picture a fat guy standing there with his hands in his pockets.
"Do you like bunnies? Would you like to pet a little bunny? Come here, Little Girl, come here and kiss the little baby bunny. Thaaaat's right, come closer."
Then he pulls his hands out of his pockets bringing the pockets with them and lets them hang there ridiculously like bunny ears and he chuckles with his big fat gut rolling with laughter as fat people do. That's Gary.
Some guys would wear the spandex trunks and then wear regular gym shorts over them.
Tough to do that without looking like a homo.
I think maybe that's around the time when they started calling them "compression trunks" or something or other as if they served some kind of physiological purpose.
Maybe that helped guys who wore them feel like they were being less of a homo.
There was this one girl who would do aerobics and she caught me checking her out a few times and she didn't seem to mind. She seemed sort of receptive.
Yep, that's right, I never asked her out or even tried to talk to her.
You know what happened maybe 3 or 4 times? I was friendly with a girl and I'd ask her out and she'd say yes and then always have some apparently legitimate reason for cancelling our date.
Eventually I'd clue in.
I guess they found it preferrable to just saying no at the beginning.
There was this Nautilus machine called the "pec deck" by which you pre-exhausted by doing flys with your elbows and then there was a lever kind of thing you pushed against with your feet so you could reach the grips to finish with a bench press.
I was young enough at the time that college-age retail clerks would assume I was a Penn student and you had to use a little finesse to let them know you weren't and then they'd be nice to you.
It must suck being a local kid getting paid minimum wage serving rich kids.
Standard attire for CrossFit for guys seems to be a T-Shirt and standard gym shorts. For women it's those spandex short shorts or tights and a scoop neck leotard or one of those sports bra kind of things. Cleavage, either way. The chicks, that is.
Bat is awesomely garrulous this afternoon. At my gym there's a big window between half the weight room (the chest and arms half) and the cardio room. The cardio classes all face the wall opposite the window so the weightlifters get asstertained while they work out. Legs and core weightlifters have a lovely view of the spin room which, mercifully, is darkened during most classes. About half the guys wear shorts. Some superfit guys, and the guys who spin, wear the spandex. Everyone else is in long pants. I would overrule any objection to wearing shorts while working out. Or swimming. Spandex should be reserved for the truly superfit, and then ONLY at the gym. Almost every woman wears black yoga pants. Uniform.
24 comments:
The real reason humans have always wanted to fly like a bird:
To win stuff
I saw a rerun of that Magnum P.I. guy in short-short and I was appled.
I meant to say appalled.
But those cutoffs are horrible. Especially when the pockets hang down.
Oh man, I just reminded myself of Gary Hennigan in 9th Grade in Louisiana. Not shorts-related, but he is the morbidly obese guy who everybody mocked as "Haystack" who I befriended, not an AF brat but at our school,and he turned out to be funny as h-e-double jester sticks. Picture a fat guy standing there with his hands in his pockets.
"Do you like bunnies? Would you like to pet a little bunny? Come here, Little Girl, come here and kiss the little baby bunny. Thaaaat's right, come closer."
Then he pulls his hands out of his pockets bringing the pockets with them and lets them hang there ridiculously like bunny ears and he chuckles with his big fat gut rolling with laughter as fat people do. That's Gary.
She wears short shorts....good.
He wears short shorts....my eyes!
Female athletes have been wearing those spandex short shorts for a while, now, and I'd like to see the trend continue, well, pretty much forever.
I used to go work out at Nautilus gyms back in the 80s and you could wear spandex trunks without being a homo.
They were like cycling trunks but without the chamois.
It didn't take long, however, before I started feeling like a homo, anyway.
So back to baggy gym shorts it was.
Some guys would wear the spandex trunks and then wear regular gym shorts over them.
Tough to do that without looking like a homo.
I think maybe that's around the time when they started calling them "compression trunks" or something or other as if they served some kind of physiological purpose.
Maybe that helped guys who wore them feel like they were being less of a homo.
I used to go to this Nautilus gym near Penn where they had a great big glass wall that separated the aerobics area from the weightlifting area.
The idea was to look though the equipment and use the mirrors so you could scope out the girls without them knowing it.
When I felt a boner coming on I knew I'd rested too long between sets.
Okay, false. I just made that up.
Well, more of an exaggeration, really. There were times when things got somewhat awkward, chubbywise.
That was then, however. Those days are long gone and I say good riddence!
I used to flirt with the girl who sat at the front counter.
She liked me but I never asked her out.
She was out of my league and I'd have been embarrassed to keep seeing her on a regular basis after she shot me down. Better safe than sorry.
I'm kind of a loser.
There was this one girl who would do aerobics and she caught me checking her out a few times and she didn't seem to mind. She seemed sort of receptive.
Yep, that's right, I never asked her out or even tried to talk to her.
Loser!!!
* punches self in head *
You know what happened maybe 3 or 4 times? I was friendly with a girl and I'd ask her out and she'd say yes and then always have some apparently legitimate reason for cancelling our date.
Eventually I'd clue in.
I guess they found it preferrable to just saying no at the beginning.
Part of the problem with going to the Nautilus near Penn was the odds were very good that any college-age woman was actually a Penn student.
I wasn't, so that was already a strike against me, so I believed at teh time.
Still do, actually.
There was this Nautilus machine called the "pec deck" by which you pre-exhausted by doing flys with your elbows and then there was a lever kind of thing you pushed against with your feet so you could reach the grips to finish with a bench press.
You could get an amazing range of motion.
I really liked it.
I was young enough at the time that college-age retail clerks would assume I was a Penn student and you had to use a little finesse to let them know you weren't and then they'd be nice to you.
It must suck being a local kid getting paid minimum wage serving rich kids.
Nowadays I work out in the basement by myself.
Sometimes it's just underpants.
Thought you'd want to know.
Standard attire for CrossFit for guys seems to be a T-Shirt and standard gym shorts. For women it's those spandex short shorts or tights and a scoop neck leotard or one of those sports bra kind of things. Cleavage, either way. The chicks, that is.
I wear a tank top often when I'm mowing the lawn or doing yard work or something. Much cooler that way.
But I'd never go to the store or anything wearing a tank top.
"What are you fucking afraid of?"
Guys who wore spandex...ever There really is no excuse. We all experiment, but that is not curable.
I once went to a wild costume party as a ballet dancer, with the black tights and the slippers and everything.
Ended up getting a blow job out of it.
And from a girl, too!
Go figure.
She introduced herself by telling me I had a nice ass.
One thing lead to another.
Alcohol's a hell of a drug.
BTW, there's no happy ending.
She was using her teeth too much and I told her to stop.
No, really.
There was a pretty funny gag on The Big Bang Theory.
Leonard's girlfriend and ex-girlfriend were comparing notes and they both agreed that Leonard devotes way too much time to foreplay.
So much foreplay that it's more of a burden for them than a pleasure.
The laugh was that Leonard was all proud that he was so good at foreplay and so generous and that that made him a great lover.
The underlying premise is what made it hilarious but the implication was pretty subtle.
It wouldn't surprise me to learn that the vast majority of people didn't get it.
"And from a girl, too!"
You never can be sure of this? I mean never.
Bat is awesomely garrulous this afternoon. At my gym there's a big window between half the weight room (the chest and arms half) and the cardio room. The cardio classes all face the wall opposite the window so the weightlifters get asstertained while they work out. Legs and core weightlifters have a lovely view of the spin room which, mercifully, is darkened during most classes. About half the guys wear shorts. Some superfit guys, and the guys who spin, wear the spandex. Everyone else is in long pants. I would overrule any objection to wearing shorts while working out. Or swimming. Spandex should be reserved for the truly superfit, and then ONLY at the gym. Almost every woman wears black yoga pants. Uniform.
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