Saturday, May 17, 2014

A Couple Chooses a Movie


26 comments:

bagoh20 said...

Tell me again - why does anyone want to be in a relationship?

Chip S. said...

Transaction costs?

Shouting Thomas said...

He missed the signal when she pulled off the bra.

What's the matter with guys these days?

Lem said...

I forced my last girlfriend to go see with me Mels The Passion of the C. She cried, by then it was too late i thought.

Lem said...

The whole thing about choosing a movie for some significant other is about a desire to make a good impression. It rarely, if ever, works. Because, for one thing, the other person might be trying to do the very same thing.

Mutually Assure Failuration

Lem said...

It's better if one person is assigned the task, with the condition or promise that the other person will choose next time.

A compromise at best.

Lem said...

No need to go Abramson on the deal... (have a lawyer make polite inquiries)

Shouting Thomas said...

I watched a movie called "Don Jon" on Netflix last night.

About a guy who was nailing beautiful girls, but he still loved porn.

Met a perfect "10." She demanded he stop watching porn.

Moral of the story.

Always find somebody who likes to watch porn with you!

Lem said...

Submitted "Abramson" as "have a lawyer make polite inquiries" to Urban Dictionary.

I was turned down.

Lem said...

Doesn't that comedian look like Tonia Harding?

It just hit me.

MamaM said...

Tell me again - why does anyone want to be in a relationship?

Relationship offers the most joy and the most sorrow a human can experience.

Chip Ahoy said...

Oh wow, I just noticed it's raining the tiniest droplets I've ever seen and the sun is shining brightly all around even on my plants. They're being misted and shined on simultaneously. It is a glorious thing to behold. I bet I'm inside a rainbow or underneath a virga as one sees in western films and western paintings.

And just like that, it ceased.

For the glory and wonder of weather phenomena are sometimes quite brief.

William said...

Amy Schumer balances on the thin edge between overweight and attractive. I wouldn't recommend anyone plighting their troth on the long term prognosis. Insurance companies should consider offering fat insurance. If your wife moves from plush to plump, you can collect a settlement sufficient to cover the legal costs of divorce and child counselors. The premiums would be high with a high risk case like Amy, but the money would be worth it.

Meade said...

Shouty is right. She's about to break up with him and who can blame her? Women need men who desire them. Otherwise, it's ice cream for her and video games for him.

William's attitude toward marriage exemplifies the problem — a sense of entitlement that if I don't get what I want from my spouse, then it's divorce time. The nuclear option.

It's insane but that's where many Americans have come to: video games, ice cream, and divorce.

Sixty Grit said...

Meade, did you wake up drunk this morning? Or just let her sleep?

virgil xenophon said...

@William/

I had an ex-college roommate who's fiance was EXACTLY on that knife-edge verg of going "full porker." Try as we might, our little coterie of friends could not persuade him, Inevitability a child arrived--followed by the inevitable pemanent weight gain and the equally inevitable divorce. He could have used the insurance..

Meade said...

Maybe if each of you guys had kept your wife sexually satisfied, she wouldn't have had to tub out on ice cream. Take some personal responsibility, show some self-reliance. You remind me of Obama with your utopian love of insurance. But oh well, after you dump your fat wife, maybe you can find a way to masturbate using your insurance policy and a stick of butter.

Sixty Grit said...

Speaking of tub of goo, your "wife" is starting to look like Droopy dog - either that or that self-murdering blonde has mumps.

Go home and hold her jowls up. Run along now, your mommy really really needs your help.

I can see why she gets black out drunk with a putz like you around.

Meade said...

I admit that was a little mean of me, Sixty. Especially the masturbate thing. And, obviously, it struck a nerve.

Still, who can blame your wife for taking you to the bank and divorcing herself from your nastiness? It's a wonder she didn't do it years before she did.

Sixty Grit said...

You were talking to me? Funny, I had no idea. You really must learn to write more clearly, dimbulb. Read more deeply. Think. Do all the things your "wife" encourages others to do.

Speaking of nasty, does she still suck your dick after you fuck dogs up the ass? I am going to assume she does. Probably likes it. I think that explains her expression. Well, that and the pounds of excess fat hanging on both sides of her face.

Carry on, you are the best current husband she has.

And while we are on the subject, why did your first wife divorce you, wonderboy?

Meade said...

Because I had become like you - angry, over-weight, disrespectful, dyspeptic, distempered, disturbed.

But I changed, Sexty Grunt. And - now read very carefully - so. can. you!

Sixty Grit said...

Or, found a drunk fat bitch who would "marry" you, so you ditched the old fat broad and took up with new one who had more money.

How's that working out? For her?

You are a very funny guy. And by funny, I mean pathetic.

Meade said...

Great! A sign - albeit slight - that you still have a heart, Mr. Grunt.

There is hope!

Sixty Grit said...

Sadly, none for you, dimmy.

MamaM said...

Otherwise, it's ice cream for her and video games for him.

Or, from another perspective, a protein packed diet of blog adoration for her and moderation games for him.

Meade said...

More hope for you, Sexty Grunt — maybe MamaM will go out with you. Protip: brush your teeth.