Monday, April 30, 2018

Walkies

Yesterday I saw a nice white oak just leafing out:


It has a number of other oak buddies nearby, including a massive willow oak which is close to six feet in diameter at its base. They are growing on top of a hill near a house that was once on a large farm, but now there are only about 10 acres of the original homestead left. The oaks are probably about 125-140 years old.

Today I saw some irises nearby:


They are giving way to other flowers as spring marches on.

Mama bluebird has filled her newly feathered nest with eggs:


That's it from here. My lawn needs to be mowed again. It will just have to wait.



Stonetell, the song, Impossible, interpreted by Diego Anthony Sanchez

This was a delightful surprise.

A photo on Ace is a message in typewriter font with some letters fainter than others like mechanical keystrokes. The message reads "my illusion, my mistake."

That sounds like a relationship thing. Maybe I lived the sentiment.

I bet it's a song. Before looking, how would I sign that? What does that even look like? No, no, no, emphatic x. How do you say impossible? Online dictionaries show a Y hand configuration slapped on the opposite palm, twice, like bam, bam. The more impossible, the harder the strike, for total emphasis, one giant whack. Results offered a bunch of videos hosted on YouTube. I didn't even have to go there and search. I thought the videos would demonstrate the word "impossible" but they turned out to be about the song.

I can see why the song is popular. You know, those Korean kids who do the K-Pop dances could nail this. Because the lyrics aren't flowing, they're chopping, a bit staccato. You could make very clear distinct signs in staccato, and match the visual version to the English word.  This song offers the possibility of nailing every single word right on the vocalization, so you see it exactly, it offers great expression. I pretended to do the song as the various videos played and my version is different from the others. I do it like the Korean kids dance. Programmed and militaristically. In my mind. But then, I dislike the sound of my own voice when I hear it. It's nothing like it sounds on the inside. Maybe that's true in sign too. Maybe I would dislike it if I see it.

My version is more emphatic, more a transliteration. What the heck, it's a poem in English. I show the English. For "impossible" Anthony says, "join" + "finish" +"impossible," in each instance he does that redundancy for emphasis, others interpreters don't even smack the palm, they just sort of threaten the palm. The K-Pop kids have affected me in a big way. Just watching them has challenged me to be more precise in timing to match action and rests and emphasis, like they do, and when they repeat a chorus, repeat the phrase the same way without adding any variety when they don't.

I can't believe I'm still learning. It's daunting. Discouraging. Just now on t.v. a woman was interviewing an Egyptologist professor at Yale.  An affable guy. "So, how long does someone have to study this language before you become an expert?" He answered, "for the rest of your life until you die." Then he explained why it's impossible to stop learning more of the language.

I'm sure you can see things in this video if you choose to look. "Remember" is like a thumbprint from your mind onto the back of your other thumb. Another video has "remember" like a thumbprint pressed and twisted into the forehead. I never saw that before but it's better than the textbook version and now I use that similar signal instead, it keeps the impression in the head where it belongs. It's borderline comical. "In the past, ago, before" are shown as two open hands rotating at the shoulder, like events casting back over the shoulder. In reverse it's bringing past generations into the present. When these are not signed distinctly such as, "head tap but not all the way to the head, thumbprint on the other thumbnail, but not actually touching, in the past, but not lifted all the way to the shoulder and not actually backwards,  rather rotating like rubbing two cymbals at chest level, all the motions kept in, held closer, and not fully formed, then they're easy to miss. This is the difference between Anthony and K-Pop dancers.

"Love is your arms crossed over your chest like Dracula.  Anthony's love is hard, two fists forming an x.

"Wrong" is a Y formation hitting the bottom of your chin, like an uppercut. Anthony's "wrong" is a Y swinging past his chin with no Y to chin connection. Each line has its examples. Anthony's signing is constrained. It's a very good translation and a very good video. Notice how some of these kids are very good at editing video with well chosen backgrounds, lighting, framing, and good audio.

Three guys


Short ribs, Instantpot



He needs me.

* Use the pot's "sear" feature to brown the ribs. 
* Douse them with b.b.q sauce.
* Add a bit of water and cook under pressure longer than 30 minutes, sitting in the liquid.

Imagine how long you would bake these at low temperature to assure the meat is tender and pulls from the bone easily. Then divide by three for the time under pressure. Wouldn't you say about three or four hours? Then that would be one hour for pressure. 

The whole point is to simplify and speed. If you switch between pot and oven then you're missing the beauty and dismissing the marvel. 

I just now pulled out a similar package and realized I paid $13.00. That's rather expensive, don't you think? I bought them for their bones. I want to cook the H-E-double hell sticks out of the bones. For beef broth. 

I did this once before with terribly tough meat and pathetically scant bones. It's not that easy to find beef with bones at the grocery. I paid a lot of money for beef that wasn't that good.  I was disappointed. But I wanted to get on with my experiment.

I cooked the meat under pressure, overcooked the meat actually, then pulled it from the bones. The meat chunks tasted bland and were still a bit tough. At that point I was disappointed in beef.

Then I pressure cooked the bones for a few more hours in the original liquid. I just let the machine go. It turns off by itself and holds it at warm. You don't have to pay attention. This drew out all the available marrow into the liquid. The bones are now empty. If I had given the bones to a dog, the dog would be all, what? Where's the flavor in these things? 

Then I returned the meat to the fortified liquid and pressure cooked a third time briefly, about 20 minutes. That was enough to tenderize the meat perfectly and shove the flavor of the liquid into the meat fibers. The meat was delicious and full bodied, tender and moistened, and separately, the broth was outstanding. The best I had ever tasted. There were no herbs or spices. Just meat and salt to finish. It was an experiment. And it worked. 

Looking back at my post, I did roast the bones separately. I'm not certain that's necessary. It was a mess and a pain in the butt. I missed the beauty and dismissed the marvel. 

White House Correspondents' Dinner.

Well past its "use by" date.

YouTube video of the presentation here. Not recommended. You'll get a concentrated version of the form of humor you've already dismissed, second rate low-level political commentary by and for humorly-handicapped people.

More interesting than the video of the dinner on YouTube are the comments to it. Skip down to remarks from people who bothered watching and see for yourself how we get more Trump. Earlier I did see one supportive comment but that was only half-hearted trolling. I also saw the video presented at my favorite British site, and they're all members because they are idiots, and even there it didn't get the intended reaction. Even British who self-identify as idiots found the the thing falling flat. Total fail.

Today the White House Correspondents' Association president said that the dinner is intended to unify participants and viewers around journalists and the importance of the Second Amendment, the gravity of a free press, and she regrets that the whole dinner is  characterized by their host's fifteen minute monologue.

Pffft.

Every word of her statement is debatable. Dismissed.


From what I've seen, the sentiment is universal. 

The website Lucianne is a great aggregator of breaking current events within the political sphere. Today the site is dominated with links about the WHCD, all negative. The site provides a snippet of posts made to other sites. It has its own commentariat that is reliably interesting as the articles. One thing if you choose to click over and read them, the format makes the comments seem to stop by leaving a large gab between them. If you keep scrolling down you'll see there are more comments. 

I like it because you get Lucianne commenters, a sensible lot, and a link to the original article usually with their own commenters. So you have a convenient way to compare perspectives and perceptions. 

The links collected at Lucianne Sunday, April 29, 2018 

For example.


** For that crew, the 1st Amendment is about journalists´ right to tell any lie they want to about Trump, but when Trump, or anyone, tells the truth about the current state of journalism that´s a threat to the the 1st Amendment. 

** Thank you, Michelle Wolf, for making untold thousands, perhaps even millions of Americans acutely, jarringly aware of how cruel, crude, and hateful the political Left has become. Thank you very much. Now, back you go, under your wet rock. 

** Oh, c’mon. You thought you could rally the troops around a unifying theme all right. That theme was “hate President Trump and everyone connected with him, including his daughter and his aides”.

** They hired this"comedian" for one thing and one thing only. Now they are back peddling.

** Fatuous damage control after the fact impresses me not. Hearing how "uncomfortable" the people who applauded the performance now feel is flapdoodle.

** Wasn´t last years speaker less than unifying? I sure remember the guy saying I "nazi" (not see) a litany of Trump admin. folks. Sorry, not buying this fake news either. 

There is a lot more comments. Over to the original article at Washington Examiner to read the whole thing. Bummer, no comment section.

* Michelle Wolf got it just right. Washington Post, Molly Roberts.

** Blue talk from a blue stater. Yeh. Just right.

** I hear Fresno State is hiring. 

** Gee Wally, looks like she´s gonna be competing with Kathy Griffin for some few and far-between gigs... 

** Leftism, where dialectical materialism prevails, usually leads to loss of soul, something that is abundantly on display here.

FTA: Instead of listening — to that or to Wolf’s final line, “Flint still doesn’t have clean water” — we got grumpy on Twitter. Which means Wolf did a better job of defending the First Amendment than those who say that’s our business.

I know, honey. Being dry is difficult in your peculiar swamp. But even serial killers have their charming moments, and only groupies such as yourself fall for the schtick. As Tony Soprano´s mother said, "Poor you." 

** WAPO? Hahaha, POS paper. The comments on this article at WOPO show the shear hatred of these people with TDS. At least that hatred will eat them up and spit them out one day. now that is Karma. 

** I don´t consider myself a prude. In fact, I am pushing 80 and have heard it all but when did national TV sink so low as to permit this sort of foul mouth ´humor´ to be broadcast. And by a female at that. The left thinks it´s cool and have contributed the most to this country´s moral decline. This includes our entertainment industry who can´t seem to make a movie without the ´F word´ being used in every line. It´s also a one way street with them. They want ´Huckleberry Finn banned because the ´N word´ is frequently used. Arguably the greatest American novel and possibly the most anti-racist book every written and these morons want it banned. The left is the vilest, most hypocritical group of people on earth. 

There's a lot more. No point in following the link. It's too predictable and comments at the Post are reliably worthless.


** I admire Sarah Sanders so much. Such intelligence, preparedness, humor, never suffering fools (CNN guy especially) gladly, unflappable.
In politics since she stuffed envelopes for Mike H at age 8, to take this abuse for the Trump team deserves our undying support. 

** It´s not just her kids seeing it, how about their peers ... fortunately her 3 kids look too young right now to suffer any unkind remarks from their peers. 

** White House press secretary Sarah Sanders is CLASSY just as her father, former Republican Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee is. Neither of them bent so low as the foul-mouthed alleged comedian at the WHCAD, who shall go name-less. So glad that President Trump held his own rally in MI; they ALL looked like they had a GREAT TIME!! Another FINE DECISION!!

** Although I get frustrated with GOPe and NeverTrumpers, I´m still proud of my party overall. You´d never hear a conservative saying or doing the hateful things coming from liberals.

I´m fully convinced liberals suffer from a mental illness. I pray my none of my grandchildren will ever bring one home.

Having said that...Three cheers for Sarah! 

There is a lot more. Washington Examiner doesn't have comments. The original article has Mike Huckabee Twitter remarks and those are interesting.


** My reply is ´no comment´. Eric will have to explain and defend that one.
Isn´t it remarkable how some people are so rushed to put something on the internet that will hurt someone else. Shame on them. 

** My relatively small fingers have accidentally kit the "like" instead of retreat button. Also, some people use "like" to bookmark a tweet. As usual, mountain out of molehill. 

** Live by the Tweet...die by the Tweet. 


This again.

** Nice try, Margaret, but Michelle Wolf perfectly encapsulated the vulgarity, the bias, and the outright hatred of anything conservative that characterizes the liberal Washington media. And you know it! And you approved her message! 

** It appears the only thing related to the event that anyone is talking about is Michelle Wolf´s 15 minutes. So, I guess those 15 minutes pretty defined the event. 

** OK, but then don’t judge every gun owner the same as criminals. 

** Too late. Much too late. It will get worse. Wait until Limbaugh´s opening monologue tomorrow. 

And much more. It's actually rather funny. Unintentionally funny than the WHCD was intended. The original article at Real Clear Politics has a few more related videos, each their own separate post and comments similar to all the others. 

** Why can't we judge the event by the Wolf speech? YOU wanted her there. If you don't want your event to look like a pig sty, don't invite pigs.

** Margaret knew exactly who she was inviting and well aware of what she would say......she stood by and allowed it.

** Oh, please. This whole event was staged to attack President Trump. Trump decided not to be a punching bag for the leftist media, and didn't attend. Sarah Huckabee Sanders then had to absorb the leftist media's venom. These people then wonder why people do not trust them.

And so on. There's quite a lot more at both places.


I'm tired of c/p comments.

* Stoic Sanders earns respect for not walking out of dinner; even lib reporters were ‘aghast’ at nasty jokes BizPac Review, by Vivek Saxena 

http://lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=941580

I'm tired of reformatting.

* FNC´s Ed Henry: WH Correspondents
Association Should Apologize To Sarah
Sanders Form "Disgusting" Jokes
Real Clear Politics, by Tim Haines  

http://lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=941579

* Reporters Slam White House Correspondents’
Dinner As ‘Embarrassment’ And ‘Gift’ To
Trump Admin
Daily Caller, by Kerry Picket 

http://lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=941574

* ´White House Correspondents´ Dinner was
a very big, boring bust´: President Trump
slams comedian Michelle Wolf and says
she ´really bombed´ after he skipped the*
Daily Mail [UK], by Emily Crane 

http://lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=941560

* Michelle Wolf Mocks Kellyanne Conway,
Sarah Huckabee Sanders to Their Faces at WHCD
Daily Beast, by Matt Wilstein  

http://lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=941557

* Comedian Michelle Wolf´s jokes
fall flat, or offend, at DC dinner
Fox News, by Bradford Betz,, Paulina Dedaj

http://lucianne.com/thread/?artnum=941547

I'm tired of journalists. 

Sunday, April 29, 2018

WKRLEM: If I Needed You

The Babe abides


"Babe smile for the picture. How ya do out there in the forest?"
"Great keed. We got six deer, five turkeys and a bear. But now the real hunting begins."
"Really? For what Babe?"
"Why pussy you idiot. Now help me up so I can get in my camel hair coat and spats and get me some poon tang."

WKRLEM: Make up your own joke



If you can guess who did this....

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Just no drink.

Here is the rest of the story.

Censorship


Censorship is baked in the cake these days. Social media giants like Facebook and Twitter are shadow banning and outright delete conservative voices as their views are considered hate speech. Political correctness is ramping up the outrage machine so anyone who espouses a traditional outlook on morality needs to be censored and deleted.

It is even happening on blogs where the ads are being cut if you espouse certain views. There is a huge controversy on Youtube where certain videos are "demonitized" or lose their ads if people complain about your view point.

So the current outrage about what some C list comedian said at the White House Correspondents dinner rings a little hollow. There are a lot bigger problems out there. So she made some nasty cracks about Sarah Sanders. Look Sarah Sanders has beautiful children and a husband who loves her. Something that Michelle Wolf will never have. So Mrs. Sanders should learn from her mistake and never go back to that dinner. Same with Kellyanne Conway and the rest of the Trump administration staffers who made the fatal error of going. The boss knew better. Shun the scum. Don't go and give them a chance to use you as a punching bag. The comedian has a perfect right to say what she wants. Don't censor her. But don't help her or the scumbag organization that runs that dinner.

Treat them the way we need to treat the NFL Ignore them. You have better things to do. Take a lesson from the God Emperor of the Cherry Blossom Throne.

He is smarter than you.

Whose that girl?



She is picture here in her very first role in an iconic series that celebrated her native land. Best known for being married to the most notorious homosexual in Hollywood she has starring many big time movies and many TV shows.

Now relegated to playing the Mom she used to be a hot piece of bacala who dated many of the big time players in Hollywood including Clooney and other well known Lotharios. In fact Charlie Sheen auditioned her for the role of his wife when he shot her. You see he wanted to join the Hollywood wife killer club. Luckily she was smart enough to drop him to hook up with a dancing massaging fool.

Whose that girl?

KLEM FM

lin
k
The video is short and not at all a hagiography. Credit due is paid up front. What I really like is that it gets to what I've been trying to say here previously regarding Bonham. The musical notation in the video makes several points quite clearly, if you can keep up.

Deal with it.

Deal with it

Siblings pick surprise tattoos

It's a bit confusing at first. There are two sets of siblings, a brother and sister, and two dissimilar sisters.



Brother and sister for the win. They're wonderful siblings.

But all four tattoos suck.

As art.

I'm disappointed. Their markings are too modest. Too uncertain. All four are dinky tattoos. Nothing daring. No artistic statement. Nothing that yells. They all whisper. They take something daring and treat it modestly.

Come on! 

I don't understand people sometimes. Who wants a dinky diddly-ass doodle on their body? Your body itself is art. If you're going to decorate your body then have it be art. Real art. Not necessarily large but something truly artful by a real accomplished tattoo artist. Valued in thousands and not hundreds of dollars. You're worth it. Your artistic physical self.

Would you walk up to a Michelangelo statue and draw doodles? People do that to their beautiful artful bodies, to their own living art.

I just looked at a $6,000 tattoo on a guy with a great physique and great face and personality, and it was just a stupid tribal pattern elaboration. Anyone can do that. It has no personal meaning. It's just doodles, not art. He likes it. But with that cash he could have done 10x better. He could have had art. And great art at that.

Here's what I mean. 

Buzzfeed's "Worth It" usual co-host, Andrew Ilnyckyj,  did not want to get a tattoo so co-host Steven Lim asked Ben Coleman to participate in his stead. Ben gets three tattoos, low cost, mid cost, and their idea of high cost from a genuine artist, Scott Glazier working out of Speakeasy Tattoo in Los Angeles.

Scott interviews his clients first to discover what they have in mind. If the project tickles his creative fancy, then it's on. If not, then no tattoo for you! You've got to go in there with something in mind he can work with. Otherwise, go see some dummkopf common tattooist that'll slap on some stupid random tribal doodle on your arm. On your body. Forever. Until you die. 

Ben's tattoo should have been spread over a few days, but Ben wanted to rush things. Scott acquiesced. (He should have charged him more for being rushed.)

Ben Coleman got a great piece of art. And under $1,000. A very real bargain. Not particularly large, but it sure is interesting. It's real tattoo art. Something that enhances his body.

You're thinking, so what. 

This isn't advice for you. This is advice for you to have for your children and your grandchildren. If they decide they must have a tattoo, then have them choose their artist carefully. Make sure they have the cash to get a great tattoo if that's what they want. A great tattoo. Not a pissant doodle. Art on their artful self. Help them. Help steer them to an artist. Help them financially. You'll be the best grandma or grandpa ever. Have your condition be for them to see a great artist. They'll love you so much for it, they might even put you in it. You. In their tattoo. 

Watch how Scott as artist completely outclasses the other tattooists. Ben got a wonderful tattoo for a very reasonable price. It's a bargain.

Trump hosts Make America Great Again rally

To divert attention from the annual Washington Correspondents Dinner, and to have a lot more fun.



Nuclear Titanic

I presume you all have heard about iL Dong Kim's tritium volcano. How about a floating Chernobyl for a gas/liquid balance?

Russia launches floating nuclear power plant

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Tpnf xpnbo po tpnf dbcmf diboofm.


J epo'u lopx xibu uijt jt bcpvu boe J epo'u dbsf. Op, xbju. J lopx xibu uijt jt bcpvu cvu J tujmm epo'u dbsf.

Uif xpnbo tbje tpnf efsphbupsz uijoht gspn ifs ifbsu boe qvcmjtife uifn uibu mbufs uvsofe pvu up cf ejtbewboubhfpvt up ifs dbsffs. Qfpqmf ejtdpwfsfe ifs fbsmjfs xsjujoht boe tif mjfe up dpwfs uifn vq. Ifs mjf fyqptfe bo bnvtjoh mbdl pg jnbhjobujpo boe bo fwfo npsf bnvtjoh tvqqptjujpo pg ifs bvejfodf cfjoh frvbmmz vojnbhjobujwf. Qfpqmf joufsftufe jo ifs uipvhiut, qbtu boe qsftfou, cvtufe ifs mjft. Ifs fbsmjfs fyqsfttjpot boe qpmjujdbm qptjujpot bsf opu uif uzqft pg uijoht uibu dibohf nvdi cz qfstpobm fwpmvujpo ps hspxui.

(dmjq)

Ju xpvme ublf b dpnqmfuf qfstpobmjuz nblfpwfs. Uif uijoht tif tbzt opx bsf pggfotjwf up bo fwfo mbshfs hspvq. Cvu uiptf bsf uif uijoht uibu fotvsf ifs qsftfou tpdjbm qptjujpo boe ifs xfmm-qbzjoh kpc. Tif't opu uibu tnbsu. Kvtu uif sjhiu sbdf boe qspgfttjpobmmz pggfotjwf jo uif sjhiu xbz gps ifs tpdjbm hspvq uibu tuspohmz qsfgfst b sfbmjuz uibu fyjtut jo uifjs njoet, b tpdjbmjafe nfoubm dpotusvdu. Uif bnvtfnfou gps fwfszpof opu tibsjoh uibu nfoubm dpotusvdujpo, nptu qfpqmf, jt xbudijoh ifs trvjsn boe gmjq mjlf b mboefe gjti xjui b ippl jo jut npvui cfgpsf ju't dpotvnfe, boe jo tffjoh uif izqpdsjtz uifz fyqfdu pg ifs tvqqpsufst, dijfgmz ifs fnqmpzfs, b gblf ofxt pvumfu xjui npsf jogmvfodf uibo ju eftfswft.

[garbled nonsense translator]

This one's for CL

Q. We have some white oak lumber that has been air drying for about a year as we do not need it. I noticed that it seems to smell more like vanilla than the acid oak smell. Is this possible?
A. You have discovered one of the secrets about drying white oak for wine barrels. The oak aroma does indeed become more a vanilla smell. The wood imparts this aroma to any liquids stored inside the barrel, especially wine, adding bouquet to the wine. I was amazed when I tasted wine from a fresh oak barrel versus wine from a barrel made with aged wood. This concept has been well known in Europe. This new aroma seems to be encouraged by exposure to rain.
Gene Wengert, “The Wood Doctor” has been training people in efficient use of wood for 35 years. He is extension specialist emeritus at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
That's not much of an article, but it is about white oak and it is related to Wisconsin.

knives on sale 30% off

Actually 33%. They're inexpensive to begin with. From $30.00 to $20.00.

Commenters are all derogatory at Daily Caller where I saw these knives advertised. They're certain any knife this inexpensive is too flawed to bother. They have a whole list of possible flaws. Best to pop for better blades. But I bought two similar inexpensive knives and they've both moved directly to the top of my favorite knives. And I have expensive knives already. I don't need any more knifes. My knife drawer is filled. It's maxed out. Another knife and I won't be able to open the drawer. And since I like mine so much I've bought them as gifts and I've seen the expressions of surprise and delight each time. Knives make very good gifts. Especially when they come in these sweet presentation boxes like this.

I'm surprised how many people do not have good knives for cooking. I asked them and a lot of people are getting by with rudimentary dull knifes. I'm not worried these inexpensive ones will not last because I'm giving them to people who until now haven't appreciated the glory of sharp cutlery. These could be the beginning of their own improved collection, once they have one in hand and use it. If these go south, they'll have a new appreciation. You got to start somewhere. Because of their own situations, these knives would be good for anyone that I know, young or old, male or female, interested in cooking or not, student or retiree, office worker, clerk, hairdresser, travel agent, truck driver, business owner, pilot, lawyer, retiree, anyone.


This time I bought two sets and I know who I'll give them to directly. I already gave a knife to one woman. A Japanese knife, one that I bought for myself and three other people. Then I found out that Japanese knives are beveled on only one side. I don't know why they do that. It causes the knife to curve inward on the down slice. Perfect for cutting the peel from oranges, but not so good with everything else. It's puzzling. The woman freaked out when I gave her the box and she saw it is a knife and that the gift connected with a previous conversation about her not having sharp knives. She was genuinely moved by being given a random present like this. Some people don't get many gifts. I'm finding out. So since that first knife has that odd characteristic, I want to expand her collection, just to get her started. The other one is so that a second woman she works with closely doesn't get jealous.

These little gestures go a long way. 

I think the knives are better than a money gift. In each case. 

I'm thinking a student might rather have cash. 

But that would be a twenty dollar bill compared with thirty dollars of merchandise. 

Say, you're all set with your knife situation and so is everyone else that you know. They still make a great gift. I don't know how long this code is good for. If you chose to buy a few knives for someone, use YUGY7O4S at checkout for the discount. 

Bob's Burgers Burger Book

Something I read made me ask, is that book even a real thing? So I looked on Amazon. Turns out it is real.

Seeing the book on Amazon I knew the fans would review it on YouTube.

In the television cartoon Bob writes the name of an inspired daily special hamburger. It's always based on a pun. It's one of the little contrivances of the show. Fans look for the pun that Bob writes on his menu blackboard. It's all just a word game not an actual hamburger thing. There are two more similar show contrivance in the introduction, the name of the extermination company on the van that screeches to a stop in front of the shop  and then abruptly leaves making the signage hard to read is always a cute pun on pet infestation, and the name of the shop in the rented space next door is always a pun on exotic boutiques such as you see in liberal towns. All three contrivances are puns. The writers of the television show are especially fond of puns. Any of these three contrivances can identify the specific episode.

So fans love them.

I must say, the show's fans are lovely people. Their comments to the the cartoon videos on Youtube videos are all very sweet. There are a lot of videos on YouTube reviewing this book and others demonstrating the recipes. Along with even more videos reviewing other Bob Burger related books, one about the show and another coloring book.

They are jokes. The names of the burgers are all jokes, not actual hamburgers. But the effort of contriving the jokes and later the book does prove you can make or enhance hamburgers with anything. Anything.

I watched a lot of Bob's Burgers videos tonight. They're all sweet as can be. They are the sweetest type of video available on YouTube that I've seen.



The book has over 900 reviews on Amazon with 5 star rating overall. None lower than 3 stars. The lower reviews, 3% talk about problems with markings and exotic ingredients. It's $13.00 hardcover, 128 pages. Small hand-size format. Plenty of cartoon graphics drawn from the show. 

A fan of the cartoon would appreciate receiving this book. 

Another video lingered over the table of contents enabling me to see some of the names. The name of each burger appeared on the blackboard in one of the episodes. So viewers will make a connection. It's a fan-based emotional connection. It's why the videos are fun. Making them, watching them, eating them.

* New Bacon-ings Burger
* Eggers Can’t Be Choosers Burger
* A Good Manchego Is Hard to Find Burger
* Totally Radish Burger
* Poblano Picasso Burger
* Do the Brussel Burger
* Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Zucchini Burger
* Pickle My Funny Bone Burger 
* Hummus a Tune Burger
* Sympathy for the Deviled Egg Burger
* The Cauliflower’s Cumin From Inside the House Burger
* Human Polenta Pede Burger
* Parsnips-Vous Francis Burger
* Bet it All on Black Garlic Burger
* It’s Fun to Eat at the Rye-MCA Burger
* If Looks Could Kale Burger
* The Final Kraut Down Burger
* Is This Your Chard? Burger
* Chile Relleno - You -Didn’t Burger
* Bruschetta Bout it Burger
* Sweaty Palms Burger
* Enoki Doki Burger
* Shoot Out at the Okra Corral Burger
* Poutine on the Ritz Burger
* Every Breath You Tikka Masala Burger
* Chevre Which Way But Loose Burger
* The Sound and the Curry Burger
* Hit Me With Your Best Shallot Burger
* Papaya Was A Rolling Stone Burger
* Onion-Tended Consequences Burger
* The Jack-O’-Lentil Burger
* We're Here, We're Gruyere, Get Used to it Burger
* One Horse Open Slaw Burger
* Sweet Home Avocado Burger
* I heartichoke You Burger
* To Err is Cumin Burger
* Romaines of the Day Burger
* Cheese is Born Burger
* Blonds Have More Fun-Gus Burger
* Winter Muensterland Burger
* Onion Ring Around the Rosemary Burger
* Texas Chainsaw Massa-Curd Burger
* Bleu By You Burger
* Baby You Can Chive My Car Burger
* Bleu is the Warmest Cheese Burger
* The Garden of Eden (Edumb) Burger
* The Six Scallion Dollar Man Burger
* Beets of Burden Burger
* The One Man Yam Burger
* Parma Parma Parma Chameleon Burger
* I know Why the Cajun Burger Sings
* A leek of Their Own Burger
* Girls Just Wanna Have Fennel Burger
* One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish hamburger
* Foot Feta-Ish Burger Never Been Fetta
* Shake YOur MoneyMaker Burger
* Sit and Spinach Burger
* Don't Get Crème Fraîche With Me Burger
* Plymouth Roquefort Burger
* I'm Gonna Get You Succotash Burger
* Rest in Peas Burger
* Summer Thyme Burger
* Home For the Challah-Days Burger
* Don't Go Brocking My Heart Burger
* Mediterr-Ain't Misbehavin Burger
* Don't You Four cheddar 'Bout Me Burger
* Bleu Is The Warmest Cheese Burger

Branding

Earlier today I enjoyed very much reading Sundance's enthusiasm and genuine surprise about the latest developments in Korea. Kim Jong-un made some astonishing statements about reunification. The Sundance group could see the general outlines a year ago but actual events overtook their most wild expectations.

Sundance asserts what we're seeing now is the process of Kim Jong-un rebranding. The entire nation must undergo rebranding. Says Sundance, China's Xi Jinping seeding ploughshares over missiles takes careful control. It takes time for business suits to replace military uniforms.

In the comments to Sundance's post readers imagined how the media will spin these tremendous events to deny Trump his success. All this happened because of Trump. No Trump, then no breakthrough. Trump had to initiate a very real economic war with China and win it. Then Chia would sacrifice N. Korea. (rebrand, reposition, rethink, whatever). Actually, Trump acknowledged China already engaged economic war and we're losing it badly due to poor trading agreements and intellectual property theft. Trump shifted the weights in the balance. He used the power given him to shift winners and losers.  Within the new global economic reality, that type (brand) of belligerent buffer that N. Korea is for China is no longer useful. It's detrimental to China. All that was due to one man. Trump. Whatever comes of this, nothing at all like it could have happened without Trump. He was the only non-politician willing to challenge China. And the storms Trump created, the wailing, the rending of clothes, the gnashing of teeth is incredible, from his own side. Literally surrounded by enemies and opponents and mere antagonists. After all that he cannot be given credit.

Asian reporting reflects this. Asian Review. They're writing about Nobel Prize for the principals.
U.S. President Donald Trump has brought something new to the North Korean problem: the understanding, lacked by his predecessors, that it can only be tackled as an element in the larger U.S.-China relationship. Playing bad cop and good cop simultaneously seems to have produced some results. It is reliably reported that the Chinese leadership ordered dramatic cuts in fuel, food and maintenance supplies to North Korea earlier this year and deployed troops near border areas to prepare for a collapse scenario.
Talk of Nobel Prize is amusing. That award lost its cachet a decade ago by being indulgently squandered to the point of confusing its recipient.

The woman with the oversized painting of the burning twin towers that she bought in Iran and  that she has hanging in her dining room knows this. [christiane amanpour, twitter]
South Korea’s Foreign Minister  tells me in Seoul that “clearly credit goes to President Trump” for bringing North Korea to the negotiating table. He’s been determined to come to grips with this from day one.
So how can media spin this omitting Trump? Readers offered several suggestions. Commenter alliwantissometruth wrote:

* President Trump Interferes with Foreign Countries Affairs
* Trump Butts In Between a Local Squabble
* Trump Makes Peace Between North & South Korea All About Him
* Trump Thinks America Should Have an Army but North Korea Shouldn’t
* President Trump Only Likes Certain Koreans. Racism at Play?
* Trump Won’t Allow North Korea to Defend Itself
* Trump Bullies North Korea
* Trump to Obtain North Korean Land for New Hotel-Resort?

That's funny. And perceptive. And predictive.

You know very well, Trump is a master at branding.

It seems very silly, sometimes puerile, while usually remarkably effective at sticking and often distressing for his targets, Low Energy Bush, Liddle Marco, Lyin Ted, Crooked Hillary, Hiawatha Warren, Slimeball Comey, Rocketman Kim, Failing NYT, Fake News CNN, hang on, I feel another laughing fit coming on ...

... but Trump brands people and media entities, and it really does work on their nerves. Not geopolitical situations.

I looked at Drudge Report headlining link referring to Trump branding that goes to LMT Online titled Trump rebrands diplomatic norms as global events spin on his axis.

The mental RR track alarms clang and the road barrier drops by the title that's dissected and Fisked as the page opens. Trump didn't rebrand any diplomatic norms, he dismissed them as useless, and events don't spin off Trump's axis, they're tugged by his gravitational field and they follow ineluctably. So we're off to a bad start. Watch as the LMT writer fulfills alliwantissometruth's comical prophesy.
President Donald Trump on Friday placed himself at the center of the remarkable summit between the leaders of North and South Korea, taking credit for bold and innovative diplomacy that may open a path to peace where other leaders failed. 
President Trump didn't place himself at the center of a remarkable summit. He created it! The writer mischaracterizes the simplest most basic fact. I have no idea what the rest of the article says. It might be be a positive assessment for all I know. I stopped reading and dropped down to comments because I want to see how people react to events more than I care to know what an error-stricken journalist wrote.

Facebook comments.

So it will only be people with Facebook accounts. And that eliminates a lot of people. I disable the browser Facebook blocker, refresh the page, and read them, expecting the worst of general commenters. But Drudge drives a specific type of commenter. So this could get weird.

* Trump is correct. Here are all these world leaders telling him how he's wrong when they haven't been able to accomplish anything for years. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different result it insanity. Sometimes you have take different approach. If Trump can get a majority of majority countries behind him like he did with North Korea change will happen.

* Easy to take credit when it’s you talking on a non-secure cell phone, from the heart, keeping your word, acting quickly with few if any coat holders, and are a transactional deal maker, “let’s both win, make money not war and I’ll respect you and your people as you do mine when you take responsibility and stop threatening others.”

* GOP lawmaker touts Nobel Peace Prize for Trump (link)
  ** He deserves it.
  ** Obama got one.... For being Black.

* Best president since Reagan by far. MAGA Keep it up!!
  ** Better than the great RR all the way back to TR now.

* God Bless President Trump. He's making America great again, unless you're a whiner liberal in denial.

* Wasn't it not long ago that the Democruds were whining about Trump calling out Kim and that it would cause WW III? Trump just pimp-slapped idiots like Bubba Clinton and his runt Maddy Halfbright. MAGA! Trump 2016-2024!

* Wow. Still not tired of #winning.

* Pres. Trump's foreign policy is quite simple. Be serious about not letting trouble even start. MAGA for our magnificent Pres. Trump.

* Donald Trump has turned out to be a great President. So many people in the MSM and in Hollywood have called him stupid. He has accomplished so much in so short a time. In short, he does this by leading through strength. World leaders know he is not afraid to attack. They know he puts America first. They know he means what he says; it's not empty rhetoric, like Trump's predecessors used to such worthless effect.

And so on. There's more.

Huh?

I was at an event this evening where I was subjected to a loud live band. My ears are still ringing. I saw a woman signing and I did what Chip suggested - I pointed at my ear and flicked my hand away as if to suggest that my hearing has fled. She was more than willing to show me a few things, and ended up using her fist to circle her heart as if to say that she loves signing. I was unable to ask her where I might learn ASL, as my signing skills are somewhere between those of Pahoo-Ka-Ta-Wah and the guy signing behind Obama at the dead commie's funeral, but since it is becoming clear that I am going deaf perhaps I should get serious about it.

I much prefer quiet places, to wit:



Link has been corrected.

Friday, April 27, 2018

Ding Dong the Merrio...sing it high.....sing it low!!!!!!





The purge has begun. The bullshit conservative site Red State that banned me for supporting President Trump in the primary has <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/conservative-site-redstate-purges-anti-trump-voices-fired-writers-say/">fired the Never Trump fanatics who spent all of their time attacking President Trump on what was supposed to be a conservative site.</a>



Pattrico, Caleb Howe, douchenozzle Neil Stevenson and best of all nasty cunt Susan Wright have been sacked. Their privileges revoked. They went to post and they couldn't get on the site. Salem Media which owns the site along with Twitchy and Townhall finally pulled the trigger. It really pissed me off to read the crap they wrote every day and to be unable to reply because I was banned.



Now I can enjoy the site the way it was intended to be. Happy Day's!!!!!!!!!!!!


OK I have to admit this is pretty funny



I can see them both making this commercial. Cool.

President Trump and Chancellor Merkle have Press Conference.

"Ok I will take questions. Fine...find what the fuck do you want Acosta?"
"Mr. President is it true that Special Counsel Mueller has direct evidence of you colluding with Aliens from Area 51. It seems it was revealed that there is dossier that proves that you got  a Cleveland Steamer from one of those green whores from Alpha Centuri."
"Jeez you are a fuckin' idiot. I will leave you to Frau Merkle."
"What worries me Jimmie is how your poor mother is going to take this."
"Waaaa you can't tell my mother."
"Orderlies. Please come in take care of this."
"Thank's Frau Merkle."
"No problem Mr. President. He is obviously as crazy as a shithouse rat."

The Babe Abides


"See first ya gotta get a good grip. Force the head down by having your head on his neck."
"Next up I will demonstrate the Rusty Trombone. Brother Matthias taught me that in St. Marys School for the Incorrigibles."

Whose that Korean?



A hot chick who spends most of her roles in spandex or bikini's ...she is the Korean who negotiated the worst treaty in the history of Show Business. Although she was the fifth lead she thought she was worth so much more.

The David Caruso Effect.

Maybe the Rocket Man can use her to negotiate his deal with South Korea. That would be sweet.

Whose that Korean?

Caption contest

http://blackandwtf.tumblr.com/post/44553226244/
1920s-harley-davidson-mobile-booking-cage

Jon McNaughton, artist


The artist was taken by the phrase, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." 

Then the artist thought, sure, but the man must take the pole and actually fish for himself. Teaching is useless without action.


Jon McNaughton's website here where you will see more artwork like this.

Kim Jung Un walks

The music is awful.

The costumes are weird. And so are the flags.

This ceremony has little to recommend it. The video is actually hard to watch.



It's a very big deal. I get it. Historic. 

And this would not be happening without Trump and his brutal no-class ways, his pressure, his communication, his manner and his proxies, and everyone knows it. Watch how American media twists their reporting in knots to avoid reporting that obvious fact because that would mean giving credit where it is due and they don't like the person responsible for this amazing development. And why would they when Trump is tearing them to shreds?  

Today the Treehouse ran two posts on Mike Pompeo, first going to North Korea and meeting with Kim Jung Un setting up this show meeting, and secondly being sworn in as Secretary of State. 

I made an animation for you using those photos, showing the plain shots of Pompeo shaking hands with Kim Jung Un, then Pompeo blurred in movement past Kim Jung Un and out of the frame, into a Pompeo pure movement frame, that changes to another Pompeo movement frame to set him up for the next frame, the plain shot of Pompeo being sworn in.  Then Pompeo blurred again in movement past the swearing in judge, out of the swearing in frame, then pure Pomeo blur movement that changes into another Pompeo blur movement that sets it up for the plain frame of shaking hands with Kim Jung Un, and cycling this way endlessly, because the sequence of events is reversed in real life. Logically Pompeo should have been sworn in first. But Trump is faster than everyone else. Don't you think? And right there is proof of speeding efficient urgent diplomacy occurring with tremendous efficiency and secrecy with actual real life blurring speed. It's dizzying. 

Then I threw it away because it looked like crap. It looked better in my mind than it did onscreen.

And it occurred to me, these obnoxiously stilted state receptions are not for us. Earlier, all those terrible blasting trumpets for Macron and his wife getting out of a car, twice, and being met diplomatically by the Trumps, the military all around doing their own little show just for touring the grounds and for walking a short distance along a carpet and into a building. That was not for Macron. That was to have something to contrast with other world leaders who won't be getting the full diplomatic reception. It's to make contrasts similar to China's full blown reception of Trump VS China's half-ass reception for Obama where they didn't even roll up the jet airliner stairs. He must use the plane's own stairs. How embarrassing. If it were possible for Obama to be embarrassed. 

I'm thinking that Trump will receive Merkel differently and that difference will stick. It means something. They're not intended to be pleasantly entertaining shows. They're obnoxiously stilted for very good reason.  

I think they could update the show. 

Those K-pop dancers blow my mind. Now that's entertainment.

Judge backs the bar that refused to serve Trump supporter

This is an old situation that was litigated a few days ago.

A guy walks into a bar.

And nothing about it is funny.

It was September 11th and he was wearing a red MAGA hat. Probably new contrasting brightly with dull colored shirt and worn jeans. He got lousy service at the bar and complained. The server was triggered and couldn't behave properly because nobody reasonable supports Trump. This obnoxious hat wearing customer is an obvious racist, sexist xenophobe, because everyone says so. The bartender told him to leave. The customer resisted. He was bounced. Boing. Right out of the bar. He sued.

Because damnit, now how is he going to make his Grindr connection?

The whole time I was reading, I was thinking it must have been a gay bar. Because what type of bar would that sentiment be axiomatically universal?

Think about it; the whole place thinks your advertised political view is too obnoxious to tolerate.

Go ahead and have your view but do you have to wear it in bright red on your head? Pissing off every  other customer and all the help in the bar?

This really makes me reconsider my 'Hillary Clinton is a smelly skank' shirt for public places. Combined with my 'Obama issssss an obvioussssssss sssssissssss-ssssssy' pants might be a little too much with my Pelosi stretched face cowboy boots, and my Debbie Wasserman curled llama pelt vest and Jimmy Carter Bucky Beaver scarf.  The whole outfit might need to be re-thought.

I could get kicked out of church.

The judge said it's okay to kick someone out based on their expressed political sentiments because they're not being discriminated on religious grounds.

Everyone is comparing this with baking political opponents a cake and making them a wedding reception pizza. Everyone is contriving reverse hypotheticals.

Story with more information at the National Sentinel.

Bill Cosby convicted

Oh dear.

Let's remember the good thing about him.



I lived overseas when this show aired so it was one of the things that I missed. I only saw one episode. It looks fun.

Today I read he was convicted by jury on all counts with punishment up to ten years for each count. He's in his eighties. He'll die in prison. He snapped at the prosecutor and called him an asshole.

These days, many Americans wonder if the law applies to the rich and powerful.  They read stories of powerful people lying under oath, multiple times, while holding positions of power inside government, and nothing happens. 
But in one case at least, someone who was perhaps the most beloved and trusted celebrity of his time was held accountable by the law. That means something, especially these days.
They keep running episodes of the Huxtables on regular t.v. and I get triggered each time I see it. I wonder if this conviction will cast a pall such that his pleasant television will no longer be aired. What a stunning descent to non personhood.  

Chelsea Clinton studied Kate Midleton to learn how to behave as a royal

This was the best reading all night. I had to read it in spurts as laughter kept taking over. Real belly laughs all the way through. I had to stop before finishing. It's just too funny.

This is another item from Amy Chozick's book Chasing HIllary: Ten Years, Two Presidential Campaigns and One Intact Glass Ceiling in which she reveals Chelsea and her aides studied how the British royal family handled the birth of Prince George in 2013 to prepare for her own first baby who who was born a year later. That would be who? -- American Prince Aiden. In Chelsea's mind.

Why did Chelsea think this appropriate? Because Chelsea considers herself equal to the Duchess of Cambridge meaning the Clintons are the American equivalent of the British royal family.

I didn't read the entire synopsis at Luczanne although it is brief, rather, I dropped down to comments and died laughing. The full article is at the Daily Mail, and I didn't read that either. The side-by-side photographs are funny enough.

Clinton's trashy southern trailer park family tableau contrasted with Kate Middleton's casual elegance. That one is attempting to copy the other is hilarious. Chelsea's Web Hubble facial features contrasted with Kate Middleton's gorgeous maternal glow. Chelsea holding a plastic doll for an audience, Kate Middleton holding a human infant indulging the press. Chelsea's thick pale legs of her mother, in wobbly fiber sandals, Kate Middleton's tanned shapely legs and conservative elegant pumps. Photograph to photograph there is simply no comparison between the two sets. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail. Fail.

And that's hilarious.

Needn't bother reading, just scan the photographs and drop down to Daily Mail comments and click "view all." The vituperation is endlessly varied but with the same eye. And it's truly hilarious.

Whose that girl



We was just talking about her. She was a Nubian Princess who starred like an Egyptian. A favorite of black exploitation films of the 1970 she costarred in one of my favorite films of all time. A B-movie queen who died before you time you have to realize she was a babe.

You can bet your asp.

Whose that girl?

The Babe Abides


"Ok Christy get the picture why doncha!"
"I have to get Mrs. Gehrig home before Lou realizes his Mom is out."

Huh?

I was at an event this evening where I was subjected to a loud live band. My ears are still ringing hours later. I saw a woman signing and did what Chip suggested - I pointed at my ear then kind of flicked my hand away as if to say my hearing has fled. She signed a few things and at the end circled her fist on her heart as if to say "I love signing". Unfortunately I wasn't able to ask her where I can learn sign language. I was about as fluent as Pahoo-Ka-Ta-Wah or the guy signing behind Obama at that dead commie's funeral, which is to say I was somewhere between nonsensical and incoherent. Yep, some days are just like that.



Thursday, April 26, 2018

By the Mark Twain

As I have mentioned before I bought the complete works of Mark Twain for $1.06 and loaded them on my Kindle. I have been reading them steadily all year and he has been traveling all over the world, or at least that's how it seems to me as I go from book to book. He tramped through German, Austria, Switzerland and Italy. He went to the Sandwich Islands. He covered Australia, Tasmania and New Zealand. Everywhere he goes he writes with wit and insight. I learn more from his writing than I did when I was over there. He went to India, visited the Taj Mahal. Then on to South Africa, and after 13 months he completed his circumnavigation of the earth.

There are two or three versions of Life on the Mississippi in this collection and yesterday I read about steamboat racing - that was something that was always kind of on the periphery of my understanding as a youth, and now I have learned a bit more about it, specifically the race between the Robert E. Lee and The Natchez, in 1870. And while nostalgia ain't what it used to be, I had a notion to call my brother and ask him if he still has the plastic model of the Robt. E. Lee steamboat that my father put together 60 years ago or so. Turns out he does and he sent me this picture of how it looks today:


It's not in bad shape after spending decades sitting on various shelves. Here a link to the story of the original ship. I can't even imagine what riding on one was like, much less piloting something like that in the wilds of the Mississippi as Samuel Clemens did. I also can't figure out what they did with all that cotton in St. Louis, but such are the mysteries of life.

In succeeding chapters Mr. Clemens tells the story of how his brother Henry died when the boat he was on blew up. Very tragic story, and not a story for the faint of heart.

But back to the storyline we have been following today -- since we have already reviewed Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's, at this point there is no way that anyone can be offended, triggered, put off, upset or otherwise require a safe space by any racially insensitive role played by Mickey Rooney. His Mr. Yunioshi is far more offensive than this, right?


Say, is that Lena Horne or Judy Garland? My eyesight is not too good, I can't tell from here.

Now that I review this post I find that I am offended. I hereby denounce myself for knowing history.

Whose that Author






“One place like another. 

That was true enough, he thought. Even the merchant seamen were the same. Every ship was the last. One more voyage, just enough pay and bounty saved, and it would be used to buy a little alehouse, a chandlery, a smallholding from some country squire. 

But it never seemed to happen, unless the man was thrown on the beach in peacetime, or rejected as a useless cripple. The sea always won in the end."

Manic Pixie Dream Girls


David Tian

TL;DW, or rather what interested me about Tian's take:

"You have got this shy guy who actually, deep, down inside...thinks he is actually awesome, he's great...and when he's with that girl..she brings it out in him. And this is the flip side of codependency and narcissism.They're very closely related, two sides of the same coin...the shy, introverted, withdrawn guy...hidden in his shell [which harbors covert narcissism]...in fact he's not falling in love with her, he's falling in love with his own fucking reflection, which he sees reflected from her [Cluster B; bipolar, borderline, histrionic, etc., personality].

Nathan Rubin, coiner of "Manic Pixie Dream Girl," reflects on the popularity of the phrase.

A/V Club's proposed list of MPDG movies:

1. Elizabethtown (Kirsten Dunst)

2. I Love You, Alice B. Toklas (Leigh Taylor-Young)

3. Garden State (Natalie Portman)

4. Butterflies Are Free (Goldie Hawn)

5. Almost Famous (Kate Hudson)

6. Joe Versus The Volcano (Meg Ryan)

7. The Apartment (Shirley MacLaine)

8. Bringing Up Baby (Katharine Hepburn)

9. What's Up, Doc? (Barbra Streisand)

10. Annie Hall (Diane Keaton)

11. Breakfast At Tiffany's (Audrey Hepburn)

12. Something Wild (Melanie Griffith)

13. Sweet November (Charlize Theron)

14. Autumn In New York (Winona Ryder)

15. The Last Kiss (Rachel Bilson)

16. My Sassy Girl (Elisha Cuthbert)

Melania Trump used the gold-rimmed china that Hillary Clinton stole from the White House

Troll level: Master.

As you'll recall the exceedingly entitled Hillary Clinton stole a White House set of china valued in the tens of thousands of dollars. They stole other things and were forced to return them. They kept some of the items they stole and paid for them. But none of the numbers reported add up. The plates were part of the group of things they returned.

Souvenirs.

Come on. Can't a girl take a few souvenirs?

ABC News, Feb. 8, 2001
[The Clintons] sent $28,000 worth of household goods back to Washington after questions arose over whether the items were intended as personal gifts or donations to the White House. 
After they were criticized for taking $190,000 worth of china, flatware, rugs, televisions, sofas and other gifts with them when they left, the Clintons announced last week that they would pay for $86,000 worth of gifts, or nearly half the amount. 
Their latest decision to send back $28,000 in gifts brings to $114,000 the value of items the Clintons have either decided to pay for or return.
More nit-picky nefarious details of criminal minds at the link. But you read this already seventeen years ago.

And the numbers still don't add up. Stole $190,000, paid $114,000 returned $28,000.

I'm no mathematician but there seems to be a significant gap of $48,000.

But ew, it's so pretty.
I saw a gold china service set one time. I shouldn't mention this, but what the heck. Everyone's dead now. Bobby Buckles (dead) invited me to assist with a large luncheon for television stars who worked for Fox. The cast of Dynasty (mostly dead), company soap operas, and other random stars, too numerous to list but including, Gary Colman (dead), Gerald Ford (dead), Lucille Ball (dead), Sophia Loren, and Diana Ross who was giving a concert in Denver at the time of the Barbara Davis'  Carousel Ball fundraiser for children's diabetes. 

It was the second time Bobby invited me because he thought I was the right profile to help.

Invite me as a guest, you asshole, so I can mix and mingle. 

Come on. Be a sport. You'll see a lot of interesting people. And I did. I saw and heard Henry Kissinger who was advisor to Marvin Davis (dead) at the time. That was a big thing for me.

The gold plates were not used that day. They were stacked carelessly in a cabinet. One of the permanent staff opened a cabinet when I was in one of the dining rooms that revealed slots that held various sizes and styles of silver and gold serving trays upright on their sides. And I thought, now that's the way to store trays. She opened other built in cabinets that held different sets of plates and service ware. The gold plates were just one of several sets. Just like the White House. They entertained a lot. In fact, that day, another of my friends (dead) was chief cook there. He got Bobby Buckles his job. He showed me how to grill to medium rare, slice and serve a stack of fifty beef tenderloins. And not freak out about the high volume of food served to entertainment stars and other important people. 

It's no big deal. It's just a job. And that attitude stuck. I never did freak out about anything like that. If someone didn't like something then uckemfay. 

I was a terrible service person. 

A check for a couple hundred dollars came in the mail a few weeks after that. And I wasn't even expecting to be paid. I was just helping Bobby Buckles with this unusually large task. It was all totally legit. And a heck of a lot of fun too. Bobby was right.

And the gold plates did not impress me so much because I cast back to the little ceramics shop I wandered into at Barksdale Air Force Base. 

Women there were casting ceramic plates. 

That was not my sort of thing. I didn't care about regular household items like plates and mugs and elaborate German steins. 

B-o-o-o-o--r-i-n-g.

But I saw how it was done. Plates were a bit tricky because they're flat in the plaster mold and easy to mess up getting out. The mold seam had to be cleaned up. They tend to warp as they dry. When you pour eight of them then they're fired to bisque. Then painted in clear glaze. Then painted again with special gold paint. It's a tiny vial of what appears to be blood with microscopic flecks of actual gold that cannot be seen. When fired at lower than usual firing heat, the blood-like carrying material burns off and the gold melts and coalesces. One wrong move like a fingerprint and the project is ruined.

At that time, each tiny vial of gold paint cost $1.00 on the AFB. One vial could cover at least one plate. If you failed to to cover the pate evenly then there would be splotches of missing gold. And if you overpainted by double then the gold would melt and drip in unsightly patterns. It was a bit tricky to get the blood-like paint strokes exactly right. 

Skip 10 years. 

My parents bought me two common King Tut objects in fired bisque. The burial mask, and Queen Nefertiti. Incidentally, Nefertiti means "beautiful titi." I was supposed to paint them myself. I did paint the Tut burial mask, but I needed that special gold paint. I gave my parents instructions to buy it from the shop at Lowery Air Force Base, now subdivided into housing. At that time each vial cost $10.00. As you can see, an increase of 1,000%. But boy, my King Tut head sure looked great. Lapis Lazuli blue and gold striped Nemes headdress, and pure gold face. Real gold. Just like the real burial mask.

I bought too much. I still have one of the vials. And it would still work to make these type of plates.