Thursday, May 31, 2018

My alliums are blooming

I had no luck propagating either my alliums or my leopard lilies - they seem to do fine on their own but I would really like more of them in places that I select. I guess left to their own devices they will eventually take over.

These are about four feet tall currently - so they are eye level.

They call me Lame Beaver

"Why do they call me Lame Beaver?"
"Because I like to lay on my buckskin rug instead of staying home and banging my wife Jeanie!"
"She definitely doesn't have a Lame Beaver."
"More of a tasty Beaver."

Real tales of the Boardwalk Empire

I used to go to Atlantic City a lot. A lot.

At one time I would head down there every other weekend. See when you are an accountant it is pretty fucking boring. So a couple of us would head down to AC to have some fun. We weren't much for the sun so we didn't hit the Jersey Shore or the Hamptons. You had a pasty fat Irishman, a skinny Chink and a couple of Hebes. We would take the bus out of the Port Authority right after work on Friday night. $20 and you got 12 back to gamble.

We would stay in this old school hotel behind the Claridge which offered cut rate rooms. You were a block off the Boardwalk. They had a great coffee shop that was run by an Irish guy from Belfast. Some of the waitresses we knew from Times Square worked their now and again.

Anyway I often went by myself. I was not scared to be on my own. I mean I can make friends. I might of told you about one of these friends. Sal who was the bartender in "Sparky's Pub" in the Claridge Casino. It was a tiny eleven seat bar against the back wall of the casino floor. It had a couple or three tables as well as a banquet against the wall. The pub was dedicated to Sparky Lyle the old time Yankee Relief pitcher. At the time there was a lot of turis about Mickey Mantle and Willie Mays and a couple of other baseball players being Casino greeters. They were even prevented from going to the Old Timers game one year. Bowie Kuhn was a cunt. Still and all the pub was a Yankee fans safe space.

Sal was a guinea from South Philly and I was half a guinea from Brooklyn so we knew some of the same things. And just like Bob Seger I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then. I always made sure I stopped off and visited. It was often my first and my last stop on a night of gambling.


WKRLEM: This is for "The Chicken Man"

This is for the Chicken Man

Yeah, science!

Morning Glory seeds.

I mentioned a dude who lives here knocked on my door one morning to ask how the caladium bulbs come back. While he was here I described how the entire railing was taken over with foliage by morning glories. I told him, they germinate in a few days and they grow visibly overnight by an inch or so, it seems. They send tendrils out all over the vines, grow foliage all season, then near the end of the season they bloom everyday and produce thousands upon thousands of seeds. Look. Here's some.

He took a handful of seeds.

Then I thought, "did I exaggerate again?"

He could be disappointed if I did.

Later, I planted a whole bunch of seeds myself. Along the edge of pots that are low and next to the railing. This year will be a little bit more controlled. I have 3 metal trellises stuck into large pots with morning glory seeds planted at their base. And along one edge of several pots low to the ground. That's it. But that's still hundreds of plants. And other things planted in the same pot. For those pots, the morning glory plants will be background for things in front of them. While creating a wall of foliage for the outside, and shade for the inside. That's the plan.

I planted seeds on Friday and Saturday and Sunday afternoon. Today was the first day I went out there and watered. Lo. Behold. They've already germinated and emerged from the dirt and opened their first two leaves. Here and there in the pots planted Friday.

It's on!

Look on eBay at the variety available. Not all the vines behave the same way. Some grow longer than others. Some flower more profusely than others. Some flowers are larger than others. But pretty much all of them are cheap as heck.

After all that I've given away and planted, I still have about half of them left. They're outrageous. And what fun it is to watch them growing so fast.

I have blue ones, but I bought a package of white ones to mix in.

Australia raises tariffs, Amazon stops shipping to Australia

Daily Mail.

They don't say tariffs, they say GST, goods and services tax, a value-added tax applied to international sales to protect national businesses. Australia makes all such sales more expensive, so Amazon goes along and closes its international site to Australians and redirects Australian searches to Australian local Amazon site, with fewer items that cost a good deal more. Pay more for less choice.

Fine. Have your little continent. Your ring nation around a vast desert.

Too bad.

They pulled a Trump.

But this is how international trade got Trump in the first place. Foreign countries protected their industries by raising taxes on foreign goods. Call them tariffs, GST, VAT, whatever you like. America tried to set the example for free trade by leaving our market open so much as possible. For decades. To its tremendous detriment such that the wealth of its entire middle class is redistributed worldwide. Everyone took advantage of the availability of the American market while protecting their own internal markets from us. Always have. Still do. Always will.

Their response to our correction? More of the same. That's the best their imagination allows them.

Trump doesn't have to do anything in response. Amazon does it for him. Amazon is behaving as a government. Amazon is saying to Australia penchant for protective taxation, "fine, pick at your own butts." Amazon is not even allowing Australian shoppers to see what it makes available to the rest of the world.

Daily Mail asks, "how does this affect you?" Answer: It doesn't.

Australian shoppers will have to go through a VPN to disguise their origin just to look at Amazon and see what their government is doing to them.

Change of subject.

Speaking of international shopping and Amazon.

William Jacobson wrote a post about shopping through He's been disconnected from Amazon associate program, a significant income stream for his site with no good explanation given, and he tried in his lawyerly way.

Deep in comments someone mentioned a recommendation given him, for a lot of imported stuff that Amazon sells. I checked it out.

The leather shoes all look terrible. Things that fer'ners wear.

Similar thing with leather jackets. Everything 50% off.

Men's underwear is the point where they run off the rails. Nothing is sensible. Nothing. Yet everything is surprisingly cheap. And nothing you'd want to be caught dead wearing.

Men's leather belts, three pages, everything is plain and standard except the one with the baby alligator head, and inexpensive.

All very similar to, a madhouse of junk goods.

I did an experiment elsewhere when conversation in comments here turned to round clear ice balls.

The most popular kit on Amazon and demonstrated on YouTube makes two large ice balls in 24 hours. So you could build up a batch for a party over a period of a few weeks. The finished ice spheres lasts a long time so they wouldn't be going as fast as regular ice does at a party. The kit cost $40.00. It's a styrofoam box with a 2-part silicone mold insert so the ice freezes from the top downward pushing impurities downward outside the mold and into a reservoir.  You remove the kit from the freezer before the water in the bottom freezes completely.

On this same kit sells for $9.00-$10.00 but you must buy 50 units at a time, or 100 units at a time.

It forces you to consider going into the clear ice sphere business. Your mind wanders to ideas of how you can get a couple of kits and sell all 48 remaining kits at a profit that makes the effort worthwhile.

And I get to thinking, a bar could do this. A place like the Elks, or Moose Club, or VFW could do this. Any professional club could do this. Several of my friends are involved in professional clubs. a couple of different clubs, whose chief reason for being is having cocktail parties and travel to other cities. Members host large parties at their homes in cities worldwide. They could sell hundreds of these easily at half of Amazon cost and double their investment. Any group could. Virtually any business could. The FRB employee club could have sold that many at, say, $20.00 per unit.

Too bad I'm not a group kind of guy.

So I let my mind wander and I thought and thought and thought, and after all that thinking and imagining possibilities, I arrived at the real reasonableness of the markup of 400% for just one unit.

It's an awful lot of trouble to go through just to put one unit into someone's hands.

You can have 50 or 100 with a whole lot of trouble for $9.00 each

Or you can buy 1 and have an immeasurably simplified life for $40.00 each.

So you pay $30.00 to be left alone. Free of marketing and industry. And poorer for not getting involved in the fun of global commerce. For not becoming a marketer yourself.

Some things on Alibaba you can buy by the unit. The young French chef that I watch on YouTube bought a single large pasta maker for ramen type noodles. He had to modify the pasta maker considerably.

Let's look at another thing. I just now bought a Pullman bread pan. Let's see what Alibaba demands of us.

Alibaba [pullman bread pan] Same deal, very inexpensive at large quantities. You can buy 50,000 of them at $2.50 each, or buy 1 for $25.00. That means it will cost you $22.50 for them just to mess around with your silly order of 1. You really are being a pain in the butt by ordering just 1. All that special attention given to you just for one single pan. It makes sense. They're in the business of pounding out these pans by the thousands, now get out of the way. *Foghorn Leghorn voice* I say, I say, you're in the way, Boy. Get outta the way."

Rosenstein helped Trump with cover story for Comey firing.

NYT and CNN and Gateway Pundit report Andrew McCabe turned over his notes to Mueller and those notes contain information about Rosenstein helping Trump come up with a cover story for firing Comey.

What now?

Trump doesn't need a cover story to fire Comey. Trump could say, "I don't like his dandruff snowing all over the place." And it's ridiculous to suggest that Trump needed help. Plus Trump has his own lawyers for that. This is the corruption within our institutions muddling the national discussion to cover their own butts and the only people who buy into this are the likes of NYT and CNN.

Without reading a word yet, $10.00 says Gateway Pundit is not having it. And I no longer care what NYT or CNN have to say. They don't get anything right. Let's look at Gateway Pundit. Their story is titled "Deep State Leak."

They refer to the NYT. "Yes, the same Rosenstein who authorized Mueller to hunt down President Trump and anyone and everyone connected to him."
But in the meeting at the Justice Department, Mr. Rosenstein added a new detail: He said the president had originally asked him to reference Russia in his memo, the people familiar with the conversation said. Mr. Rosenstein did not elaborate on what Mr. Trump had wanted him to say. 
To Mr. McCabe, that seemed like possible evidence that Mr. Comey’s firing was actually related to the F.B.I.’s investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, and that Mr. Rosenstein helped provide a cover story by writing about the Clinton investigation.
Then Gateway Pundit continues.
"McCabe should not be taken seriously. 
The corrupt former FBI official is not a reliable witness. He was just criminally referred to the Justice Department by the Inspector General for LYING UNDER OATH several times. 
This McCabe memo just shows how paranoid the Obama holdovers became after Trump was elected. They are all throwing each other under the bus because they were all involved in covering up Hillary’s many crimes."
I win. Give me 10 bucks.

Russia, Russia Rush uh. Russia, Russia Rush uh. Russia, Russia Rush uh. Russia, Russia Rush uh.

You squat and jolt a leg out on the emphasis, alternating legs.

Since we're all Russia, all the time. May as well do the Russia dance. There are hundreds of these remixes to help get in the mood.

You know, I tried to identify as Democrat. I really did. At the time I thought, since there are only two real parties to choose from, the Democrats are sufficiently whacked to suit me. They were the party for me. But they proved too unstable. Too viciously unstable. The swings too dramatic. Too intellectually and emotionally elastic. I cannot bend this violently to suit immediate needs. I'm not this flexible. I cannot keep up with them. First they mocked Trump for being ridiculous about even mentioning concern about Russia being a threat. And he was right about that. And now Democrats are Russia, Russia, Russia, the greatest threat to our republic since ever, even long after collusion with Trump has all been disproven, and although investigating every possible angle of attack, still not the slightest bit interested in Hillary's connections with Russia and DNC use of foreign interference. Elastic lithic Janus. Extremely rigid and with extreme flexibility. The lot of them. Psychologically disrupted.

President Donald Trump signs 'Right to Try' Legislation

Right to try what?
Right for 80-year-olds to try hang gliding so long as they can carry their glider up to the launch site?
The right for spastics to try tightrope walking across the Royal Gorge?
The right for convicted arsonists to apply for job as fireman?
No. You're really bad at this.
Well just tell me then.
President Trump signed legislation that provides terminally ill patients with the right to try experimental medicine and procedures. It authorizes access directly from a drug sponsor or manufacturer and limits the use of clinical outcomes and liability arising from the provision of such drugs. 
Here is the transcript of the announcement ceremony. It's funny in parts. Here is President Trump schmoozing it up while preparing for another announcement to happen shortly.
Today I’m proud to keep another promise to the American people as I sign the Right to Try legislation into law. (Applause.) 
Right? (Speaks to participant on stage.) You’re so beautiful. So beautiful. 
If I looked like that, I would have been President 10 years earlier. (Laughter.) If I had that face, if I had that head of hair, I would have been President so long ago. (Laughter.) That’s great. 
So I want to thank a couple of people. Secretary Azar is here. Where’s the Secretary? Secretary? Please stand up. You have worked so hard on this. (Applause.) Thank you very much. You’ve really done a great job. And we’re going to have another exciting news conference over the next, what, three weeks? Four weeks? Two weeks? What do you think? On healthcare. We’re going to have great healthcare. We’ll get rid of the individual mandate. Without that, we couldn’t be doing what we’re doing in a few weeks. We’re going to have great, inexpensive, but really good healthcare.
Daily Caller and Gateway Pundit both report from a different angle. There is an adorable little boy with muscular dystrophy present at the signing, the archetypical model for cherub, trying to get the president's attention, but President Trump does not notice him at his side. When President Trump does notice the boy edging closer pouring on the cuteness, Trump grabs the boy and squeezes his guts out all over the place kisses him on his head.


Wednesday, May 30, 2018

As a youth...

...I grew up in a small town proximate to the Long Corner of Howard County. My father knew a guy who was a practical joker and one year said wag sent my father a post card saying that he was vacationing in Ellicott City. The gag being, of course, that no one would vacation there and it was not even 20 miles from where we lived.

This isn't the actual post card as this picture was taken sometime in the late '60s or early '70s. But it clearly illustrates the slope of the town, and what the place looked like in better days.

In the late 1980s I was looking to buy a house in Howard county and Ellicott City was one of the places I looked. Saw a couple of nice properties, but ultimately ended up moving to a planned community built by Rouse nearby.

Ellicott City has been on the news lately, I don't have access to broadcast television so I didn't see the actual news reports but I found some videos on YouTube. Here is what the place looks like now:

I just checked my front yard and while there is some water rushing through the ditch my cars are not being swept away. For that I am thankful.

This evening's sunset - it has stopped raining for the moment.

Buzzfeed: 99 Aussie Tumbler posts

Language, philosophy, food, drinking, drugs, candy, animals, weather, mostly.

29) on money.

30) On Australian Cuisine.

French recipes: If you're not making this in Paris then what's the poiont? Fuck you.

Italian recipes: Use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of Tuscany. Or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house.

American recipes: Buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan. Congrats, you cooked.

Chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: Season it with a pinch of this and some of that. You want to know the exact amount? Feel it in your heart. Ask the stars. Yell into the void.

English recipes: Boil and salt it. Okay, that's it. Enjoy.

Australian recipes: Just ... fucking put the sprinkles ... on the bread ... holy shit fucking gourmet cuisine right there holy fuck

31) On nutrition: 

75) On white Christmases: 

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas I sing to myself in the 30 degree Australian heat
I was about to say 30 degrees is cold but then I remembered Celsius
Is that hot? In America that would be cold.
What the ... oh, right, celsius.  
It's funny if you don't know to celsius because it can snow at 30F
Took me a second ot remember that Australia goes by celsius
I was so confused and then I remembered 33℃ = 91.4℉. Oh.
Guys ...
Guys ...

76) On Christmas trees:

92) On how true stereotypes are:

Sharper than a serpents tooth......

Roseanne Barr lashes out at TV son following cancellatio

 New York Post May 30, 2018

Roseanne Barr lashed out at her sitcom son Wednesday for throwing her “under the bus” — after he “vehemently” condemned her racist tweetstorm.
Michael Fishman, who played DJ Conner in the original series and its 2018 revival, tweeted that Tuesday was “one of the hardest” days in his life and that he was “devastated” — not for the end of the show, but for everyone who “poured their hearts and souls” into it.
“Roseanne” was abruptly canceled by ABC Tuesday, after Barr compared former Obama aide Valerie Jarrett to an ape and called billionaire George Soros a “Nazi” who “turned on his fellow Jews.”
“I condemn these statements vehemently,” Fishman wrote, adding that his character was “designed to represent the inclusive nature of my views.”
But Barr was having none of it.
“I created the platform for that inclusivity and you know it. ME. You throw me under the bus. Nice!” she responded Wednesday morning.

WKLEM: Day two of reactions to Roseanne's tweet


Spy is weird word. Spygate is even more weird. That doesn't even make sense.

Gate is the same as door except with the fingers splayed out more to show horizontal boards, air between the fingers. Door is with closed fingers. Two flat hands, held side by side, palms facing the body, one hand flaps open at the wrist as hinges. It's a good pantomime for door. You see the door right off in the interpreted song "Paint it Black." All interpreters show "door" the same way (poorly formed). Their doors are like cellar doors. They're all leaning at 45°. Some are even on the ground. YouTube [paint it black asl] A few seconds each video shows my point. Gate is the same idea with fingertips touching.

Spy is just being sneaky. The idea is looking at things sneakily.

None of the dictionaries show the idea how I've seen it, with the sign for "mask." None of the dictionaries show "mask" the way I've seen it for "Halloween." And none of the dictionaries show "Halloween" as I've seen it. My way is better than all of them. Their way is to show the face being covered with flat hands. Put up over the face together or pulled down together. We don't like signs that cover the face.

Here's how to do "mask" or "Halloween" the cool way: Make a "V" sign. Except, move the index finger below the second finger, that is, reverse their positions. This twists the fingers somewhat. It forms half a mask to put over one eye. Bend that at the wrist 45° and place over the eye, the forearm becomes the stick that the ball mask is attached to. If you do that with both hands then "mask" becomes more complete for "halloween." Like "raccoon." Now you're cooler, more advanced, more sophisticated than all of the online dictionaries. And that's a fact.

You can use this "mask" for spy. And poke around sneakily.

This is how the dictionaries describe showing the word "spy." They all have to do with sneakily observing.

I spy with my little eye, that is, sneakily look around all over the place.

The guy who tells the civil war story, spells s-p-y so carelessly it comes out "s-y."

The guy who signs the song "I spy" shows the word for spy as if he's coyly looking through a monocle. He's very good in a slippery kind of way. His style has a lot of elision and sliding. The woman is there to make him look good.

There was an Ernie Kovacs post

But now there isn't. Odd.

On January 13, 1962, groundbreaking comedian Ernie Kovacs died at the age of 42 in a car crash.  His Chevrolet Covair crashed into a telephone pole in Los Angeles, California.
Some authorities surmised that he was lighting one of his trademark cigars when he lost control of his vehicle. His tombstone at Forest Lawn Cemetery is inscribed, “Ernie Kovacs 1919 – 1962 — Nothing In Moderation.”

Ignorant hicks

Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh.

They're talking about us.

Charlie Martin is writing for P.J. Media in a post titled, "Those Ignorant Hicks Ruin Everything."

He had an argument with a scientist in Boulder that really rattled his goat's chain. Drove him over a cliff barking, fighting, hopping mad as a red-faced wet March hare spitting nails. Stark raving boiling stormy mad. And on top of all that, a little bit cross.

The scientist said that if people knew how meat is produced, they'd think twice about eating it.

Uh. Uh. Chuh.

Martin felt that was arrogant. He grew up on a cattle ranch. He knows the whole biz wax top to bottom end to end. But that's not really an argument because you needn't have grown up on a farm to know all that, and sensitive philosophical types who've worked in an abattoir can be so taken aback that the experience puts them off meat permanently.

Permanently until I walk by with a tray of ramaki, tiny pieces of chicken liver with a slice of real water chestnut, not the water chestnuts that come in tins conveniently, and peeling the fresh ones is a real bastard task and I mean it, but the difference between them is too great to go for convenience, wrapped up in a piece of bacon loaded with brown sugar. Ramaki is a very 1960's thing but they're fantastic. Plop. The truly obnoxiously mouthy aggressive vegetarian disappears one down his gaping maw. Then another. And another.

Check 'em out. I made them again since then. A couple of times.

This actually happened. I go, "You son of a bitch. After all that. Years of straight up berating. And here you prove everything you've said means nothing."

He said, "Rules are made to be broken."

Hugh Shields. Don't believe a word the guy says. He's full of s-h-eye-tea.

Plus, he'll bust a move on your date.

Martin says, truth is most people do know how meat is produced. And they know that from childhood. We're trained.

When we see this:
We think this:

When we see this:
We think this:
See this:
 And this:
 See this:
Think this:
See this:
Think this:

We know where our food comes from, Boulder Scientist Person.

What annoyed Charlie Martin was the subtext, the underlying motivation of the scientist that if only those ignorant hicks knew where meat comes from, then they would agree with him.

And that attitude flat pisses off Martin. It substitutes a difference in opinion with invincible ignorance and it underlies the political arguments we have today. It seems to Martin that it's the people who didn't now where meat comes from who get outraged by the cruelty of it. 

(That is not the case with Hugh Shields. It's knowing intimately day in and day out, being covered in steer blood, moving around huge animal parts, that changed him from omnivore to vegetarian and from Catholicism to Buddhism.)

From food Martin expands this insight to cover Karin McQuillan's recent essay about being beyond the defensible perimeter explaining why guns could be essential household tools and maybe better border controls would be good, although it's not clear how that example buttresses his point.

Martin mentions Carter's 55 speed limit not imaging what that means to people who actually drive. He doesn't have to imagine anything, he knows what is best for all drivers.

Martin expands further to legacy media and the 3-letter government departments deciding the rubes cannot actually elect Trump, and if we do then they'll need to enact their insurance policy to keep us from harming ourselves. 

The thing is, the ignorant hicks have caught on.

Yes. This is how the so-called self-appointed elite talk about us. If they would actually listen, but they do not, then they'd know we're actually rather sophisticated.

When I learned where meat comes from I cried.

My dad was all, "EAT IT!

He was very scary when he got like that so I cried more.


See what I mean? You can't win with this guy. 

Mum was easier to deal with, "There, there, I'll cook it until no blood comes out."

"Really? You can do that?" 

So I ate all meats very well done. And little as possible. The more overdone the better. Everything charred. Burnt to a crisp. Black. Crunchy.

Then at 14-years of age I wanted to pal around with a group of deaf printers roughly twice my age. I'd impose myself on their lunch hour. I proved to be a bit useful so they tolerated me, but just barely. At lunch onetime I ordered steak well done and all three turned against me. They demanded I order my steak medium or else they would no longer tolerate my presence. They'd ditch me. So I obeyed. They forced me to realize the error of my judgement and corrected my steak-deviant ways. 

I understand Trump orders his steak well done. What a moran. 


Overheard at Lem's:
Trooper York said...Actually women come up to me all the time in the Supermarket to ask about picking out stuff. I am usually teaching the wife about it and it always seems to gather a crowd.
May 29, 2018 at 3:45 PM

Sorry about the trippy visuals.  Prima did many versions of this song, and this one (from "Louis Prima Digs Keeley Smith") is my fave.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

But of course the winner is

Based on sales, abnormal star and the premature death thereof - this has to be the winner.

'80s music video

This has great choreography, it was done by a one-hit-wonder.

Alternative version, better choreography, now with punk.

This is a proper music video

Excellent music for manual labor.

WKRLEM: Rosenne replies to ABC

WKRLEM: Hillbillies know - One Monkey Don't Stop Know Show

Or does it?

WKRLEM: Shock the Valerie Jarret

"Roseanne" canceled for commiting truth.

Roseanne got her show canceled today. ABC and Disney were looking for an excuse. Even though it was the highest rated show of the season on any network it had to be canceled because it treated President Trump fairly and illustrated the type of people who voted for him. It had storylines about how illegal immigrant construction workers were taking jobs away from native born Americans. It had to be stopped. They just needed a hook to do it.

The found it in a joke.

Now I am not stranger to being deleted and censored for making monkey jokes. It offends some peoples sensibility. Some people scold me. Some people call it a mess. They complain about political correctness but want to impose their sensibility on humor. Because you can't make monkey jokes. Or offend Muslims.

If you watch the excellent show Mrs. Masiel you see a portrayal of Lenny Bruce. How he got arrested for telling jokes that they tell this day on Nickelodeon. All your big libs shake their head and say how it is terrible. Well now they do the same thing about racial jokes or jokes about Muslims.

It is a short walk to a Tommy Robinson situation. That's the guy who was streaming a facebook live outside the Muslim grooming trail in England and was scooped up and put in prison for 13 months. In a minute. No trial. No hearing. Just a revocation of a suspended sentence and incarceration.

This is going to come here.

ABC/Disney owns ESPN. They decided that in order to fight the accusation that they are an out of control social justice warrior network that they had to hire Keith Olberman. Who consistently calls the President a Hitler and a Nazi. But he has a new show.  Get woke go broke.

I hope someone is smart enough to pick up the show. I don't know if that can happen because some ot the ultra  liberal weenie cast might not want to be on the show now. I think if they throw enough money at them they will do it. Money talks and bullshit walks. So if FOX picks it up the show can go on. 

You don't monkey with success.

Or do you?

Free to go barefoot

When we were growing up, Dad said we couldn't go barefoot until May 29, his mother's birthday. I thought it was an arbitrary, fun rule he'd come up with, and only in the last few years found out it was a rule in his family when he was growing up.

My breast wan kill me. I say Jesus! Come stand up.

Hillary Clinton is concealing a hump on her back.

The post title at The Gateway Pundit reads: "What the Hell Is That Back Bulge?… Hillary Clinton Bundles Up Like an Eskimo For Memorial Day Parade"

We don't dress like that.

They have a lot of photos.

What hump?

Hillary, why are you wearing a heavy coat with a giant hump in this summer heat?
The coat conceals a portable refrigeration unit.
Why are you carrying a portable refrigeration unit?
Because this coat is f'k'n hot, yo. Gawl!

Who do ... who do you think you're fooling? 

Nobody, that's who ... that's who she thinks she's fooling. She doesn't come clean, doesn't do the simple thing people do, because she must have the public attention and sympathy for long as possible. Create mystery and milk it. She prefers to have us all guessing. Simply discussing the matter openly and honestly is natural behavior beyond her mechanized programmed self. Plus public sympathy can come in handy for the tribulations to come. Expect the condition to bloom, whatever it is, as Michael Horowitz's expanding investigation exposes FBI coverup of her crimes. Poor Hillary. She's subjected to so much abuse.

Migrants treat WWII war memorial like a public swimming pool

The title at Biz Pac Review says, "see what happens when they're confronted."

It's hot. There's a beautiful and alluring fountain. They take off their shoes and refresh. The children splash and play.

If statues of soldiers could talk they would say, "Aw bless. Come to my fountain and play. But the white guy, the Barney Fife of the bunch get upset. And he thinks we should be upset too.

It's disrespectful
It's for them, not for you.
You know this a memorial for the soldiers, right?
It's not for swimming.
Aw Jesus. It just pisses me off.
You know people are not supposed to swim here.
This is a memorial
It's disrespectful.
It's not supposed to be here.
These people should not be here.
It's disrespectful for my American soldiers.
You guys know this is a memorial for the soldiers.
It's not a swimming pool.
It's disrespectful to be swimming in this pool.
Ya know?
It's disrespectful to American solders that died.
To be swimming in this pool.
It's a memorial.
Not a swimming pool

Know what else is disrespectful? Creating a scene in solemn place of reflection on a day of remembering when people are relaxing at an actual memorial. Is there a rule in the Barney Fife handbook that insists memorials are always to be somber and the living must behave near dead themselves, and life-giving refreshing water provided in such abundance that it's shot into the air, on such a hot day, cannot be used by the living who chanced upon the sacred space?

It's hot outside.

People are relaxing and having fun, children are alive and well and filled with joy, in part because of the memorialized, and he walks up on them and treats them like unwelcome second class uninvited guests. Explaining is one thing and pissing on their innocent party is another.

What a f'k'n killjoy.

He could have simply watched them and enjoyed them. Quietly explain the nature of the memorial fountain. The reason why it was built.

I don't understand people like this. Explain this to me. Why must the memorial be so somber that the water cannot even be used? It can only be looked at. The water is visual, and that's it. No fun allowed.  This is a memorial, now be sad!

He's offended they don't understand. He's offended they're not showing proper decorum and due respect. He's offended they don't comprehend the nature of the space. I get that. But I don't get his behavior. His solution is get them to stop. Better yet, to go away. He's angry they don't behave like he does, they don't see the pubic fountain as he sees it.

Explain to me why I am wrong. Promise I won't argue.  

Monday, May 28, 2018

Japanese omelet and japanese sandwiches

Speaking of Iwo Jima, all your base are belong to us. We are the US. All of your culture will be appropriated. And all of your food preparation techniques will be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Pardon the mixed sci-fi metaphors as we study your ways.

Those thing that he adds will be a portion the standard Japanese flavor ingredients. Dashi, the broth that's like a seafood tea made with steeped kombu kelp and steeped bonito flakes (a skipjack tuna that is dried and smoked to near petrification. Available on Amazon if you'd like to shave it yourself, and the bonito shaving box is available on Amazon too. Otherwise you can buy the bonito flakes in a package.) This dashi is the base for miso soup and many other Japanese dishes including this omelet. Mirin, soy sauce, sugar.

If you'd like to try this yourself you're going to need a square pan. They're all the rage at the finest of experimental kitchens.

Maybe you've had this omelet as sushi. It's belted to the sushi rice ball with pressed nori seaweed. A lot of Japanese style sandwiches, onigirazu and onigiri, made with rice instead of bread are held together with this same nori seaweed. Rice with this nori seaweed are a spectacular combination enhanced with nearly anything else including just regular tinned tuna. One whiff and you're transported directly to the ocean.

Did you notice they use the tinned tuna that is not white albacore? I bought that one time and it smelled like cat food. Nothing you do can fix it. Anything else is better, including those small frozen pieces of tuna where they add coloring to make them look better.

Dad enrolled us in Japanese classes the first weeks that we lived there. I didn't know what a noun is, nor a verb, or an adjective. Predicates were beyond me, and I had yet to learn about prepositions. I didn't know about tenses or moods or conjugations. I didn't know any of the words about words. So the class was useless except by way of osmosis. The cognitives were amusing, the ones that came from American G.I.s, pensulu for pencil, sandoitchi for sandwich. I see it's been shortened to sando. Sort of like saying, "make me a samitch." 

We know they prefer bread made from high protein. The highest protein level of all of the wheats. I know from sourdough that high protein wheat makes more a closed crumb loaf. It's used for bagels and pizzas. It's not the same result as wide open crumb French baguettes. So wide open there is more large air bubbles inside than there is bread. That comes from middle protein wheat, All purpose type flour, although in Europe flour is classified differently than in the U.S. Open loves come from very wet dough, that's kept wet during baking. This allows the gas bubbles trapped inside to expand when heated instead of breaking through. Japanese bread is kneaded three times for the high protein to form intricate molecular network that traps tiny bubbles. It's proofed three times, knocked back twice, to make sure the bubbles do not grow large. The texture is close to cake which is low-protein flour leavened chemically. 

Their bread has the even closed crumb of Wonder Bread except made with high protein flour, so denser and heavier.  Like a synthetic sponge. Their spread is mayonnaise or unsweetened whipped cream without vanilla. Their sandwiches can be anything under the sun. While you'll see the tonkatsu pork shown earlier and these Japanese style omelets. Breaded and fried shrimp, banana and chocolate, strawberries, mango, kiwi, and tinned peaches, even cherries. Fish and cucumber, tuna from tins, egg salad made as westerners do. chicken and wagyu beef, figs, melon. Everything you can imagine except possibly peanut butter and jelly, vegemite or marmite.

It helps to be a little bit goofy to be a Japanese culture presenter. This whole assimilation business goes both ways.

Come on, be a sport, let's try this. 

I'm going to fry up some shrimp and turn them into a sandwich. See if I can get the balance just right.

This woman cracks me up. Her accent combined with her American colloquialisms is hilarious. She makes a morning omelet sandwich the non traditional way. She does not use ingredients traditionally, instead, she sprinkles bonito flakes directly onto the bread.

There are very many more videos on YouTube explaining the thinking behind the Japanese approach to sandwiches. Videos show different types of sandwiches, variations of rice balls, and sandwiches so different you gag just thinking about eating them, like egg-head octopus sandwiches. 

YouTube [japanese sandwiches] Have a look. It'll blow your mind. And possibly change your approach to making sandwiches forever. 

I bet we could improve them.

I made the best lox and bagels ever. Nobody tops them. Little pieces of them were always a hit at large parties. Here's my approach. Just for you. Now you can blow the minds of your family. It doesn't have to be a bagel, those are kind of tough but we like them, this type of high protein tight crumb bread would do very nicely.

You bring cream cheese to room temperature and flavor it however you like. Chives, what have you. 

But best of all is to flavor it with lime and with cumin, vegetable garlic, and possibly scallion. 

That's for avocado slices to go on top of the lox. Avocado flavored with lime, coriander and cumin. 

Usually the stack is bagel, cream cheese, lox, avocado, diced tomato mixed with finely diced onion and chopped rinsed capers so they're not rolling around all over the place. Coriander and cumin are two essential spices that bring the mysterious and captivating scent of Old Mexico. When you smell those two spices you go, okay, here we are. 

Possibly cilantro or basil. But if I did this today, I'd try fresh tarragon. I'm really digging the penetrating flavor of licorice. 

So you got your bagel and smear up both halves Top them up and divide each half in half. Divide each quarter in thirds, for a mouthful of bagel with lox and avocado. Each bagel makes 12 hors d'oeuvres. 

I must be maturing. I just now avoided the whores de ovaries joke. 

Flappy the flag

A storm's coming. Our storm. (Paul Atreides to his Freemen riding a sandworm)

11.5 minutes of Flappy the flap-happy flag during a storm flapping its little heart out and trying its best to attract a lightening bolt through its pole.

And if it hails on my newly planted nursery plants, why I'm gonna .... I'm gonna ... I'm going to replant them! Just like I did last year. Twice.

It's relaxing.

The flag is drying from being soaked. That should take about two minutes.

Before those other wars there were other wars

And Daniel Boone was there.

I took a road trip the other day and encountered this plaque:

I am surprised that this monument has not been destroyed, but I assume it is just a matter of time until it is torn down. The East is full of history and it is being erased by communists. What Sheridan said about Indians also applies to commies.

WKRLEM: Iwo Jima Flag Raising

Nobody took a knee.

WKRLEM:Fighting 69th Yiddish

Bet you didn't know that Ricpic's great grandfather served in the Fighting 69th.

That's a pretty good old fashioned movie. With Pat O'Brien as Father Duffy who has a statue in Times Square.

More forgotten heroes.

WKRLEM:Taking the Heights at San Juan Hill

When men were men and we just shot the beaners instead of letting them steal our jobs!

WKRLEM: 20th Maine bayonet charge at Little Round Top

The Charge that Won Gettysburg and basically won the Civil War.

Do any of the Black Lives Matters or Congressional Black Caucus or any of them ever give that a thought?


WKRLEM:Highlanders advance at the Battle of New Orleans, 1815

From an excellent little movie called "The Buccaneer." The story of Jean Paul Lafitte and the Battle of New Orleans. Starring Yul Brenner.. With hair! And the great Charlton Heston as General Andy Jackson in what he claimed was one of his favorite roles.

I saw this movie in grammar school. It was on movie day and it was considered a good movie from Catholic School kids to watch by the nuns.

The Heroes of the War of 1812 are forgotten of course. Jackson. Lafitte. Winfield Scott. Oliver Hazard Perry.

Just like the heroes of all the rest of our wars.

Say a prayer for them on Memorial Day.

WKRLEM: Respect for Trooper John Smith Two

There were many Galvanized Yankees in the Army of the Plains. Soldiers from the South who could not go back to civilian life. The choice was the Outlaw trail like the James and Younger boys or the Army.

Having a general serve as a private was an exaggeration to be sure.

But many of them re-upped to fight in the Spanish American War. Led by fighting Joe Wheeler the boys of the South were always ready for a scrap.

WKRLEM: Respect for Trooper John Smith

This was the respect paid for the people on the other side. When this movie was made there were still people alive who had fought in the Civil War. The wounds were still very fresh.

It makes you laugh at the poesuers who tear down Confederate statues these days.

I went grocery shopping for the holiday and you never guess who I met at the Supermarket?

That's right the Duke!

He was featured in this months issue of American Cowboy. You don't always see many people shopping at the magizine and book section of King Cullen. So it was a pristine copy. It had a bunch of interesting little tibets. Nothing that a real fan like ed or I wouldn't know but it was still worth picking up.

But then I was pretty disheartened. I turned the corner and ran into this guy. How do they let low lifes like this into this joint. Seriously?


I'm officially old and fussy and impossible to please.

I didn't like this tribute. Clicked off at the five second mark when the music started. Two notes, I'm out.


No. Not that dragged out dirge, not those drums, no bagpipes allowed.

It could have been excellent but then they felt the need for that death song.

Maybe you'll like it. Watch it and see. Tell me if it's good. I bet you'll like it. Sundance put it up, so it must be good. Untold thousands of people do like it. I didn't read them, but I'll bet that comments over there are supportive. Don't let my narrow bias influence you. My bias is strangely idiosyncratic.

It happened like this: The first time I heard the song I also saw it. Nanette Fabray sang and signed the song on television and I thought, "Hey, that's really cool. It's like the Indians in the cowboy movies talking in signs." So I learned it. Then went to school and showed the song to the whole class. Played the record on my sister's portable. We had to do some kind of demonstration or performance and that was my act. The kids were unduly impressed. Easy to do because the song is so basic and so achingly s-s-s-s-l-l-l-l-o-o-o-o-w-w-w-w. Self denigrating about a reformed slave trader who found the Lord. The song is about Christian redemption. For some reason unknown to me it's become associated with funerals. So now, no televised military funeral is complete without it. All cop funerals feature the song. And bagpipes. Apparently it's easy to play on bagpipes, because it's so slow, so it's become an introduction to bagpipe song, too easy to be an etude. When you hear the song played by 100 bagpipes approaching from the distance, passing by, then departing, it really is heart-stirring. It really does get you. But played on a single bagpipe it's the sound of a couple of cats in a fight. Time happened and ruined the song for me. Too mournful. Too slow. It's already killed me a thousand times.

And Nanette Fabray seems so anachronistic today that it's not even funny. At a very young age I sought her out and attended the deaf-related functions where she was featured. I couldn't even drive. I was a child among adults listening to adults give speeches about particularly adult concerns and it really was like the adults speaking in Peanuts cartoon. They mostly ignored me. I couldn't even order a drink. Then after all that good from her, she took a nasty political-religious turn. I associate the song with Nanette Fabray and now her vibes are all wrong for me. They're static vibes. Bzzzzt, spark, zzzzt, flash, crash, spark, smoke, burned smell, bzzzt.

So no.

And I didn't like this tribute either, put up a day ago. Pedagogic. Tautologic. Who is the video even speaking to? For whom is it intended?
Remember, today isn't about being off work.
Or cookouts.
Or drinking with friends at the lake.
We know that!  Text shown over battle scenes of young soldiers disembarking LSTs being shot at, being killed before they can get off the landing boat, Omaha beach or some such, bullets zinging and pinging, bodies in water, underwater shots, clouds of pink appearing underwater, then above water with sound, then underwater with muted sound, disorientation, men carrying other men, dragging onto the beach, wounded, splashing, metal barriers, pings in the water, sprays of water, bodies floating,

Must you harsh my mellow so severely? Must you? Then that goddamn bugle.
It's about these guys.
We know that! Who are you even talking to?

They keep telling us to be sure not to have too much fun, like I'm a the tea dance in Provincetown kicking off the summer or something ridiculous, or gorging at some bbq ribs, NY steaks, bratwurst, hotdog, hamburger meat and beer orgy.

I started to really dislike this video then changed my attitude partway through it. Someone reading the Gettysburg Address, overlay, MLK has a dream, overlay, Neil Armstrong on the moon, overlay, JFK exhorting Americans to ask what they can do for their country, overlay, rap.


And not black urban rap either, rather, a milquetoast white person's kind of rap. Oh well, this is how kids talk to each other. This is their music form. It's what works for them. They're telling us all that we already know. They're telling us what we told them. They're repeating our lessons to themselves, and this is how it comes out when they say it. This is the sound of them singing our lessons to each other. I decided to like it.

I interpreted the rap into sign as it goes, that happens automatically, and it shows rather nicely although there are quite a lot of sign-synonyms, the English is in different words while the signs are the same for "flag" and for "waving" for example. Still, the rap is comprehensible in sign and can be shown precisely on point, as the k-pop dancers do, so you really can see exactly what you hear as you hear it. And all that fairly forced me to like the video.

I love the idea of new tributes. Each year, new tributes. You can enter "memorial day tribute" into YouTube search and go down the list, 1 day ago, 5 hours ago, this 4.5 hour concert was posted 6 hours ago, 4 years ago, 4 years ago, 7 hours ago. Nice one. An old dude driving down the road explaining what Memorial Day is about, then puts on a song. A country song saying all this all over again.

Driving down the road is analogy for living. Being alive, traveling your road, traveled by others, going the same direction but you alone in your car. And while traveling, also remembering the people who contributed with their own lives to making this drive possible.

I love it that people keep putting up these tributes. Your lessons to them turned them to teachers. This is your success.