Toot’s Shors Saloon, June 19, 1962 (Joe DiMaggio walks into Toots Shore’s saloon, what he doesn’t know is that his ex wife Marilyn Monroe is sitting in the back)
Toots: Hey Joe, how ya doing….ah…Marilyn’s here…in the back… again ….just so you know. I know you saw her last week but I hope you can keep it calm and not upset the rest of my customers.
Toots: I don’t want no trouble Joe, not like the last couple of times, can you try it keep it friendly. …. why don’t you just go up and say hello.
Marilyn: (stands up and kisses Joe on the Cheek and says in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Joe. Did you miss me? (Marilyn sits down opposite Joe, and as she does her legs are really open. She is definitely not wearing any underwear, but she does seem a little worse for wear and she smells like a halibut)
Toots: Of course he missed ya kid. Why wouldn’t he. You’re his girl.
Marilyn: I’m his girl? Shut up you dumb sheeny. Joe has a bunch of girls. So Joe. How have you been? Have you been seeing anybody lately? I hear you have been banging Durocher’s ex. I divorced Artie you know. I know I told you that already. That bastard. He put me in nut house. A nut house Joe.
Toots: Yeah we heard about that keed. That’s a shame.
Marilyn: Everybody thinks I am crazy. I know I am just fine. Arthur used to make me go to literary parties where he sat around with all writers and playwrights. Most of them were fags but still some of them wanted to fuck me Joe. Everybody wants to fuck me. Or at least get a blow job. Artie used to make me pour drinks and let these jerks rub up on me. Even that fag Tennessee Williams tried to put his puny pecker in my mouth. It was horrible Joe.
Toots: Don't talk like that Keed. Joe don't want to hear about this shit. Your life is your life but he don't wanna hear this stuff. Everybody knows what you do. Show some respect.
Marilyn: Show some respect? What are you talking about you stupid Kike bastard. Nobody shows me any fucking respect. I am just a fuck toy. They just want to fuck me. And you know what Joe? They all fucked me. Ever since you left me I banged all of them. Even the faggots. Tennessee Williams. Eddie Albee. Faulkner. That Hemingway prick that couldn’t get it up. Artie even let Albert Einstein lick my snatch. They all used me Joe. Because you let me go. Why did you do that Joe? Why?
Marilyn: (started to get angry as she began to queef and sounded like a mallard getting gang banged) You believe me Joe, don’t you? You know you were just one among many of the nasty pricks I had to swallow in my miserable fucking life. I fucked them all. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT YOU GUINEA COCKSUCKER. (Marilyn red faced and frantic suddenly flips from manic to depressed)
Marilyn: Still nothing to say…well screw you…you sad guinea motherfucker (Marilyn throws her drink at Joe in a half-hearted way, picks up her purse and storms out of the saloon)
Toots Shor: What a crazy broad man, forget about her Joe. Here's a towel.
Joe DiMaggio: Tennessee Williams banged my wife. Call Frankie Carbo and tell him I want to talk to the Gallo boys.
Toots Shor: Joe com'on you don't want to do that. These are fancy people Joe. They got pull. You just can’t whack them out.