Or a grifter gardener and there is nothing worse!
Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...
but now we jump into 2 camps. Those who have compassion for her and those who do not.
It's not that people don't have any compassion for her, it's that we know how this is going to go once the Olympics is over. We're going to hear again and again how she's a victim and we're going to hear again and again how she's the Greatest Of All Time and how we're not worthy of her, etc., etc., etc. What bullshit! She choked; she doesn't need to be branded a failure forever, but she doesn't deserve a complete pass for her decision.
I wonder if all those people who want to wring their hands over Simone Biles would be as compassionate when their toilet is spewing sewage all over the place, but the plumber just can't come out today because he's not in the right headspace. Ya think?
I have been watching a lot of TV during these pandemic days. Not anything new. Everything on regular TV has turned to shit. Every criminal is a white supremacist. Every cop or clergyman is corrupt. Every couple on a commercial is either interracial or gay. You can't get away from the political correct wokeness. It has even begun to infect Hallmark of all places.
So I search out old shows. 12 O'clock High. The Naked City. Twilight Zone. Sixties sitcoms. Old time detective shows like Mannix. Ben Casey. Dr. Kildare. Of course all the Westerns. Other shows are on the pirate download streaming services or Youtube. But some of them you just can't find.
One of the them is the sixties comedy "Here Comes the Brides." It starred a bunch of sixties icons. The guy from Star Trek who played the head brother. Starsky or Hutch I forget which one. Bobby Sherman the Justin Bieber of his time. JOAN FUCKING BLONDELL FOR FUCKS SAKE! Flashing her octogenarian titties and fucking seaman or sucking semen or something like that there.
I can't find the series anywhere. It's not on the streaming services. Very few Youtube videos. Hard to come by.
There are other shows like that. Shows I enjoyed back in the day and can't find now. At least I have fun looking for them. It is time better spent then watching the shit that passes for entertainment these days.
I just wonder if those poor lumberjacks and spinster New England twats would understand how fucked up Seattle is these days.
Ah fuck it. I would rather just think about Joan Blondell's titties.
"Try not to piss the bed again."
I know that none of youse guys watch Below Deck Mediterranean but I enjoy it a lot. I love the setting of a yacht and the stupid rich people who inhabit it. Usually they are drunken fools and there are various shenanigans among the crew as they hook up and bicker while working 16 hour days. This season is particularly crazy.
One of the interesting things about this season is you can get the next week's episode in advance for some reason. So I caught it On Demand and it was flat out crazy.
They are in Croatia during the Covid crisis so they are kind of limited in what they can do. Therefore they are limited to socializing with each other. Traditionally after a charter they all go out to eat and usually get roaring drunk. Usually hilarity ensues. This time not so much.
One of the stews is a girl named Lexi Wilson. She is a statuesque beauty who was a pageant Queen. I think she was Miss Bahamas or something. So she already thinks her shit don't stink and that she is above everybody when in fact she is just a maid. Not that there is anything wrong with that but she is constantly putting everyone down and telling them how much better she is then they are. Even her boss! It all came to head in the hot tub.
After a night of drinking and arguing they are all in the Hot Tub drinking from the neck of expensive champagne bottles and talking shit. One of the nerdy deck guys gets a phone call and is not paying attention. This Lexi chick starts yelling at him and calling him a pussy. Even the other slut bags told her she was going too far. She gets up and grabs him physically and presses his face to her ginormous tits. The guy is very embarrassed and upset and gets up and leaves the tub. Now he is a joker but he doesn't make it sexual. He might even be gay but for sure he is super nerdy. She had no right to sexually touch him. If a guy did that they would be fired immediately. Since it was a woman nothing is going to happen. I wish the guy would make a federal case out of it and call HR. Let them have a taste of their own medicine. Last season they cut a guy out of every episode because of some tweets. Here this bitch physically assaults' someone. It wasn't innocent or fun. It was mean and nasty. I wonder what is going to happen. I bet nothing. I just think in the Me Too era it is very very interesting.
I can't wait for next week to see what happens.
Oh the chef quit too and broke some cameras on the way out the door. It was a shit show. Very entertaining.
"Hold on Hossaroni give up your double eagles or I'm gonna shoot your fat white ass."
"Wait a minute Rufus this is the Ponderosa not Chicago. Why are you doing this?"
"Reoperations fat man. Hand it over or you are gonna die."
"I thought this was a very special episode about racial tolerance and all like that there."
"That's next week. This week we are dealing with reality."
Slow Joe Biden and his Communist government has an enemies list. Unlike Nixon the press is not upset. In fact they are happy and trumpet the list on TV and in the papers. They list twelve people who are being banned on Facebook for spreading "misinformation" on the Kung Flu. That airhead bitch press secretary called for them to be banned across all social media platforms. As if they were non persons or enemies of the people or some other commie shit. You could call these 12 mooks the Dirty Dozen.
When I read the article the author said the only name he recognized was Robert Kennedy Jr who is a big anti-vaccine guy which is no surprise. But when I looked at the list much to my surprise I recognized two other names of people I am very familiar with and talk about every day.
Dr Mercola was the first name on the list. He is the vitamin guy that my mother-in-law buys all of her vitamins and protein powder and stuff from QVC. You can’t be more all American than that. When I told her he was gonna be banned she had a shit fit. I told her she was going to have to go to street dealers to get her vitamins. “Hey a fit loosie Vitamin D over here. I got dime bags og Co-Q-10.” She is losing it.
Mecola’a wife is also on the list. She has a company that sells organic make up that the wife buys from all the time. In fact they are email buddies as they used a blurb from her on the website. She is being disappeared because she has a lot of questions about the safety of these vaccines.
I fully support them because I remember when Sixty, Nick and yours truly where members of the Dirty Dozen who were banned from Althouse. It’s bullshit when they ban you when you have different view point than the mainstream conventional wisdom. I know how that feels.
I always thought I was Franco in our Dirty Dozen. Sixty was Posey the simple county boy. Nick? Well I know he likes Lemons and would get killed in the first two minutes so Trini Lopez all the way.
I take three water pills every day so I have to piss all the time. It can get very annoying as you are always looking for a bathroom. You can't just have Paulie Gatto pull the side of the expressway to let loose all the time.
It is the worst at the beach. The bathroom is like miles away man. You got to walk so far you forget why you are doing it until the piss runs down your leg. So you have to go in the ocean. But that sucks because sometimes the water is cold and you are washing off your sunscreen and it just makes everything sucky. So I wait until we come back from the beach before I take my pills. Which makes me get up all night to pee.
If it's not one thing it's another.
At least I don't have Ramona Singer's problem. Ramona of the Real Housewives of New York is facing a shitty situation. It seems she took a dump on the floor of her bathroom on the last class trip. Or at least some poop fell on the floor. This is not the first time with her since she had done the same thing last season. Of course her friend Sonja gleefully laughed about it and they showed it on camera. It was pretty humiliating for Ramona. She must have a problem.
And she can't go in the ocean to shit.
Some people don't get the memo. This dude Marcelo Rocha Santos was drunk on the beach and he had to pee. So like most of us he walked into the ocean. He and his buddy were standing in waist deep water when a shark came up and started eating him. It got his hand and some of his leg before his buddy and the lifeguard could beat the shark off. This happened in Brazil in an area where they have a lot of shark attacks. It was murky water and the guy was all greasy and salty and the shark wanted a treat. You would think the poor sap would realize it was Shark Week.
Did you see the latest surrender on the part of our military under the senile kid toucher Joe Biden? It's seems that the naval academy has a semi talented cornerback named Cameron Kinley who was signed by the Tampa Bay Bucs. Not talented enough to be drafted he begged the military to be able to defer his service commitment so he could try out for the team. Noted cuck Senator Little Marco Rubio started a ruckus to get the Navy to allow him to break the commitment he made when he signed up for the Academy. At first the Navy refused but the noted racists Secretary of Defense Austin approved it. So he will try out and not report to his ship.
Now it was ok for Roger Staubach and David Robinson to serve before they went into their leagues. Both of whom were far better athletes than this mook. Along with the teaching of critical race theory and the embrace of transgenderism in the ranks this is another canary in the coal mine. When China attacks we will be helpless. Have no doubt China is going to attack. Sooner rather than later.
It is sick out there and it is getting sicker.
Our military and our police forces will not protect us.
"You doing great Izzy. Just one more rep." "It's too hard." 'Now I know you can do it. I can already see the improvement. Anyone can see the definition in your arms. Just one more." She pushed up the bar as she huffed and puffed like a horse on the last leg of a mile and quarter at Churchill Downs. She slowly pushed it up half way. There wasn't any weight on the bar at all so it didn't make a clang after she let go and it dropped down. More like a tinkle than a clang. "It's too hard." "Good job. Allison is going to take you to the next machine."
Henry strolled over to me looking like Hercules who had been left in the dryer too long and had shrunk down ten sizes. He was all muscle and a yard tall.
"Spenser." "Henry. I bet you never heard that before." "What's that?" "It's too hard. I don't think you ever had that problem." "Funny guy. No wonder you have a mug like Carlton Fisk's old mitt. Everybody just wants to wail on it. Waddaya want?" "Is Hawk around?" "Yeah he is where he always is when he comes in. The boxing room."
Henry used to be a trainer. In fact he had trained me for a while. When he went upscale and threw out most of the mugs from the old days he kept a room for old times sake. A heavy bag. A speed bag. A couple of mats and a jump rope. When I walked in Hawk was working the heavy bag. His bald head was covered in a sheen as he put combinations and shook the bag from side to side. He hit it for a solid two minutes until a timer dinged and he stopped. He looked over at me.
"Hey whitey. What are you doing," "Racial invective. So woke of you. I wanted to talk to you for a moment when you get a chance." "Ok last round."
Hawk reset the timer and started to wail away on the bag. Two of the young trainers walked by and sneaked a glance at Hawk. They were young nubile hotties in skin tight leotards that Henry hired for the financial types who came in to pretend to exercise. Hawk smiled to himself as he finished with a three punch combination that made the bag sway like it was hit by a train. The timer dinged and he stopped and took off the training gloves.
Hawk took a towel and wiped his face and then his sweat soaked head which was a bald as a egg. Or as bald as a strippers snatch if you want to use a more appropriate metaphor. He was a large man who moved like a cat. You often came across a big guy. Or a fast guy. But you seldom come across a big fast guy. That is what made Hawk dangerous. Well one of the things that made him dangerous. There were a whole lot of them.
"So what's up?" "Nothing much. Say are you still dating that professor at MIT?" "Who Stacey? Well I wouldn't exactly call it dating. More like fucking. Occasionally. Why?" "I need to ask her a few guest ions. Can you set it up?" "What do I get out of it?" "My eternal gratitude." "That ain't enough. I don't work cheap." "Dinner at the Ritz?" "Fair enough. I will call her. Bring Susan. I don't think she would appreciate it if you were the only one to show up." "I was planning too so don't worry about it." "I will let you know." "Thanks."
I turned to leave and Hawk went on to the speed bag. He made it sing. Now I just needed to get his girlfriend to do the same and give me an idea about what goes on at MIT. It was a start.
My dear Holmes,
The same thing happened with the recent condo collapse in Miami. One of my favorite authors of the seventies was John D. MacDonald. I always ran out and got every one of his Travis McGee novels as soon as it came out. He is one of my heroes and models in writing crime fiction and I have read just about everything he has ever written as I have done with Elmore Leonard, Robert B. Parker and Lawrence Block. One of his non McGee books also became a best seller. It was called "Condominium" and was about the collapse of a condo in Florida. Albeit it was during a hurricane, still the shoddy workmanship and the criminal malfeasance seems to have predicted what happened in Miami. I remember when it came out and all of the builders in Florida swore up and down that they complied with all the codes and what not. There was a minor scandal here and there but it all went back to normal. I wonder if they examine the structure and what went on if they will find what I think they will find.
Once again life follows art.
John Mosby writes:
Hi Prof. I just loved your post reviewing and informing us of your sons picks for the best 100 love songs that can be repurposed for homos. He has such talent. Sort of a combination of Hunter Biden's morals and Chelsea Clinton's looks. As usual that was a superb post.
As a aside can I ask you to send me a gallon of your urine so that I can make iced tea on a hot summer night. I feel that will bring you closer to your commenting community.
It is not so much that your son is brilliant it is that your vagina was so unbelievable fertile and exceptional to bring forth such a marvel. It is a shame that you have not used it again. I understand the problem but I would think you could entice your gardener to find one of those little blue pills.
As you know I took as my non de plume the sobriquet of the leader of the Mongol hordes but always know to me you will always be my "Hun."
Dave Begley writes:
I don't understand why you didn't avail yourself of my invitation to visit me during the college world series. As I told you I have bunk beds set up in my Mom's basement and one of them is unoccupied. I know you would have a great time if you would just travel just a little. I promise not to wear shorts or serve egg salad. In fact I have a furry rabbit costume that I would wear the whole time and some bologna and cheese sandwiches that are not too moldy.
Please let me know when you are on the road. ( ok, ok you can bring the gardener but he has to sleep outside in the shed)
Lisa’s friend is blue collar like us. She was born to n Bensonhurst and went to Saint A’s like the wife. Her late husband just made a barrel of money in the telecommunication game. He invented something to do with cell phones or something and they became multi-millionaires. Unfortunately he passed from cancer and she was left alone.
She had been bugging us to come for years and now she is selling to move closer to her daughters so we bit the bullet and went. Now I personally hate traveling. But I did it to make the wife happy. Of course this is what she packed for two days:
It was originally supposed to be one night but we extended it down to three. Of course she had enough outfits to last another week with matching shoes. I ran out of underwear. I spent my time cooking. Her friend had come over the last time I made rope vieja and requested I make it for her.
So we ate on the porch to eat it with a little ice tea. I find that eating well is the best revenge.
It just doesn’t agree with my clothes. Those bastards just keep shrinking on me.