Thursday, December 26, 2019

The Spirit of the Season!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all the Lemmings!

Every year it seems that people get all bent out of shape and start to fight. Resentments that fester all year boil over at Christmas time. Because yes we celebrate the little Baby Jesus but the Devil never sleeps. He is always poking at us and trying to get us to tell people what we really think of them. The resentments that we have all year finally get to us and we explode. It just happens. I don't know why. But it does.

I have a relative that I really hate. Not dislike. Not just not fond of. I hate her with the heat of a thousand suns.You see she made my wife cry once and I have hated her ever since. I have to sit at the Holiday table and pretend we get along. And I do. I face her with my usual attitude of studied genial contempt. This season I am helped by of all things the Hulu original program "Harlots."

This show is about prostitutes in the 1700's. Right around the time of the American Revolution. It stars the sister that died in Downtown Abby as the chief whore. It is a pretty good show. It has sex and violence and English accents. One particular scene stood out.

This young harlot was trying to seduce this prince of the realm. He tells her that he is outrageous and too wild for her even though she is a prostie. She says there is nothing he can say that would shock her. He looks at her and says "Cunt Butter!" I started laughing my ass off. I taped it. It is my new ringtone. I decided to make it the new nickname of this relative. I told it to my brother in law and we laughed up our sleeves.

Still and all I sat with her at the Christmas table. When I asked her to pass the butter my brother in law pissed his pants. I was just filled with the Christmas spirit.

Peace on Earth and Good Will to All!

Pass the butter.


Trooper York said...

That's how I actually look.

Trooper York said...

You can tell by the macaroni sauce stains on my t-shirt.

ndspinelli said...

Every shirt I own has stains. I'm really bad w/ mustard.

edutcher said...

Ho Ho Ho.