Friday, June 8, 2018

Ten gallons of beer

The inspector general may have his schedule for release of his FBI/DOJ findings, but I have my own schedule that's more important to me than that. I finally got Paul off his butt to schedule a day to make beer downstairs at CoBrew. And that day is Saturday, tomorrow.

It's a big thing.

The session was a gift to establish détente. A bribe. In the form of a Christmas present. So that's, what? *counts fingers* Something like six months. That would bring him and his friend here. But in neutral territory. Sort of. Neutral territory very close to me. My building.

But then the bum didn't make an appointment. These things don't last forever you know. So then I had to bug him or else lose the whole summer. All those summer parties where they could be serving their own beer. It took several phone messages. Exactly like the first time. Like taking a class, or putting aside half a day is too much trouble. I had to nag, nag, nag, nag, nag both times just to get these guys to activate their gift. And it's a great gift too. They can do anything with it, invite whomever they wish. Split the bounty if they care to, or hog all 10 gallons for themselves, which is what I would do.

I'm excited to do this again. It's fun as H-E-double hell-sticks. When we do, it uses only half the stainless steel vat and that makes me yearn to make twenty gallons. But the beer doesn't last. I didn't know that. I thought beer has a shelf life of infinity, but it starts to go bad after a couple of months. I've had six-packs of beer in my refrigerator for over six months. I didn't know it keeps getting worse. So you have to be a very heavy beer consumer to make twenty gallons. It's a good education and a fun day besides. There is idle time in the middle where you just hang out. That's where we can order a pizza.

This was the first time. A long photo essay.

Weeks later we assemble again to bottle the beer after it ferments. I showed that from last time.

You have to make your own labels. I made the labels for the previous guy. They look like Coors label. I copied their style.

He chose a light ale. Which I thought was stupid. I'd choose a recipe close to Newcastle. But I must say, his beer was the best that I ever tasted. He gave me a six-pack and I was sorry when the last bottle was gone. Those guys really know what they're doing. They're extremely scientific about every little element, down to the gram. Nothing at all similar to how I make bread. My way is slap-dash. Their way is precise.


deborah said...

As creative as you are, you riffed on the Coor's label. Dude, you're not going to go Bourdain on us, are you? Say the word and one of us can fly out and give you a good hard smack.

Chip Ahoy said...

The label was for somebody else. Someone with zero creativitah. And I mean zee row. I know my client. He loved them. He told me he laughed every time he opened his refrigerator and saw them.

deborah said...

LOL and mea culpa! How could I doubt the Great One:) <--------- ;)

Chip Ahoy said...

If I made one for you, I'd start with a hand-drawn cartoon kitty that sipped some beer, drawn with little stars and specks around its head. You'll love it, while others will ask what happened to my mojo.

deborah said...

Love it.

Also, sorry to have not read your post carefully. You did say it was for the previous guy. Busted.