Friday, June 22, 2018

Flavored beer

Paul told me he intends to flavor half his beer raspberry. This happens on Sunday when we bottle the ten gallons, two five-gallon buckets.

I don't like that idea.

Here's the thing, Padawan, students must first master the basics before messing around with variations on a theme. What are you Mozart? And the flavor that is added at bottling can be flavor that's added at pouring. You risk ruining half your first batch by messing around with unknowns.

Silly unknowns at that.

But Paul doesn't listen to reason. Once his mind is set, it's set. You'll notice a certain pride that dummkopfs take in their stubbornness. It cannot be remedied.

Therefore, I'll show him how he intends to ruin his perfectly good first beer.

The bottle-shop downstairs next to this brewing company that gives lessons has a surprisingly broad range of flavored beers. Several duplicates, lime, Mandarin orange, strawberry, watermelon, raspberry-blueberry, passion fruit, coconut, acai, mango, guava, weird shit like banana bread, cucumber mint, sour pickle, sour raspberry, peach. Flavors you do not expect in beer.

This pineapple one isn't half bad.

But not as good as his plain light beer already tastes. The hops in his beer is not so aggressive. None of us like bitter flavor. It's actually light flavored with an interesting spice-like complexity. 

I learned something about all the grains they have back there in bins like the bulk section of Whole Foods except even more extensive. Only a small portion is wheat. And all of them are toasted to an extent, to halt germination, the process of malting, some roasted lightly and others more deeply like coffee beans. Some roasted severely. Strangely burnt to black. Who even wants that? The wheat that Paul chose is lightly roasted with a faint flavor of honey, so it's named "Honey Wheat." The bin is marked with a Canadian flag. Others named "Chocolate wheat" are toasted so long that the color changes to chocolate-y brown. It has nothing to do with the flavor of chocolate, just the color. So if you see a beer marked "Chocolate wheat" then that means the wheat is nearly burnt, somewhat acrid. As if salvaged from a fire. It tastes horrible as wheat grains. I can't imagine what that would do steeped.

So I'll make Paul taste these two beers, pineapple and raspberry, to show him the adulteration doesn't improve what would be his lovely light beer.

(I would have made my ale like Newcastle)


ampersand said...

The Germans serve a beer with a shot of raspberry syrup, a Berliner Weisse. I agree with you they should concentrate on the beer and not make sodee pop. People can put in their own syrups. I once made the mistake of picking up a six pack of Samuel Adams that was real cheap. Didn't notice it was flavored it with lemon. Ugh!. It was pretty bad, gave it away.
I worked with a couple of hillbilly waitresses, who on hot nights, would drink a concoction of beer and tomato juice.

ndspinelli said...

There are WAY too many beers. Basta!

Chip Ahoy said...

The guy at the shop, Lurch, didn't even know they had so many when I asked him. "You just have to look. I don't drink any of that stuff." No, but you do sell it all day.

He knew that the Colorado Native beer that I like best of them all is owned by Coors. And he answers other alcohol-related questions. So I figured he knew about all of the ridiculously flavored beers. But he doesn't. He was surprised and he laughed when I pointed them out. And the place is not a gigantic warehouse like Argonaut's or like Applejack, it's just a regular sized urban shop with ridiculously wide aisles. They have plenty of room for extra aisles.

I really wish that Paul wouldn't wreck his first batch but his mind is made up on this. And it is theirs to do what they wish, after all.

chickelit said...

We have reached peak beer, or at least peak IPA. The tell is all the adulterations. I keep waiting for the Lager Revolution.

I am a fan of Captain Fatty’s Beach Beer which you can only get in and around Santa Barbara.