Sunday, July 1, 2018

Twitter members promise to protect Ruth Bader Ginsburg at all costs after SCOTUS shakeup

Protect her from what, death?

Bad wardrobe decisions?

Writing asinine opinions in rebuttal?

Must I actually read this Twitter crap to find out what ineffectual twittery Twitter persons imagine they could possibly do to protect a Supreme Court justice?

I try to visualize this.

One time my friends protected me from the massive fluid crowd at an indoor Depeche Mode concert. All young people flowing through the colosseum like independent liquid solids in streams, much faster than I can move, each one making hundreds of movement-decisions per second. None of my friends were in the military but they took up hardened positions around me and formed a barrier, a hard wall, that moved steadily at my pace, and the crowed flowed around them. How can everyone be so situationally aware, far less everyone all at once? Those people woud be characterized as drug-friendly but that is not apparent in their movement. That really was astonishing. I'll never forget that. Is that what they mean? Physically form a protective barrier around her? Bark off any and all intruders into her hallowed space? Carry her around in a litter? An actual stretcher? Push her around on a gurney surrounded by twittery bodyguards? This isn't so easy to visualize. But funny.

Fine.

I'll read it. Glamour. This had better be glamorous.
Kennedy's retirement sent Twitter into a full panic spiral, as people worried that perhaps RBG, who is 85, might also be planning her exit. Ginsburg is the oldest Supreme Court Justice, and she's already five years past the average age at which most Justices have retired.
Ha ha ha. We know that. So what?
"Protect RBG at all cost!" tweets flying across social media read, with many users promising to send her vitamins, prayers, and even 24/7 security detail. "I’m buying Ruth Bader Ginsburg an Anytime Fitness membership, 10 years of Vitamins, and a lifetime of Smoothies..." one Twitter user wrote. "I’m becoming an organ donor but only if my organs are going to Ruth Bader Ginsburg," someone else said.
Pfft. They're just having fun expressing their desperation, or perhaps flaunting their intimate knowledge of Supreme Court makeup. They need her to live forever. They'd deny the poor woman a proper retirement to satisfy themselves. They're joking about needing her to die right there in her judge's chair. The article lists a bunch of tweets.

The article goes on to assuage their fears citing her good health and her determination to keep on like John Stevens who retired at 90.

Imagine saying that. Tilt your head and look aimlessly at the corner of the ceiling, push out your tongue and let saliva coat your gagged words, "I'm gonna kee-eep on working until I am niny, jussst like Jussst-ussss-Ssstevenssss."

That's too long for anyone to work at a serious job. Or, maybe we can convince Trump to carry on party involvement after his term in an extra-post-presidential capacity as Obama, Clinton, and Carter do, a force that never quits. Because when you quit, you die.

3 comments:

edutcher said...

There's really nothing the can do, so they dream up grandiose missions behind enemy lines to make themselves feel better.

And Notorious seems to be frying her brain with all that booze, so we may hear more of this when she or the Wise Latina (Type 1 diabetes, The Blonde has dealt with a lot of it) is finally incapacitated.

Then there's Breyer, who's getting that scrawny neck, hollow cheeks look that makes you think something's wrong.

So Trump could appoint 5 Justices from his little black book. Imagine the Short Shortstop being the only Lefty.

Imagine the psychosis on the Left.

ampersand said...

Orrin Hatch suggested Ginsburg to Janet Reno. She was confirmed 93 to 3. They thought she was a moderate. Just one more example of the useless Republican fossils.

edutcher said...

The Rs have a bad history with judging people.

Because Earl Warren was Governor of CA during WWII (it was an R state then, believe it or don't) and heartily supported Roosevelt's internment of the AJAs, Eisenhower thought he was a hardliner.