Chia Pet ram

This came in the mail today.

Look at that stupid face. It's so crude, it's incredible. Definitely folk art. The eye is just a pen casing jabbed into the wet clay. The ridges scratched across with a comb.

You know how old toys are becoming collectables? That's happening to these Chia Pet rams. And they are the stupidest things, but there you go, now they're collectable. 

These were advertised around Christmas when I was a little boy and I wanted one. A very dumb thing to want, but it's what I wanted. My family would ask, "What do you want for Christmas?" I'd say very clearly, "I want a Chia Pet." 

They were all, "Come on. What do you want?"

"I want a Chia Pet." 

Then the year would swing around to my birthday. "What do you want for your birthday?"

"I want a Chia Pet." 

Year after year, Christmas and birthday, Christmas, birthday, Christmas, birthday, the only thing I wanted was what I saw on t.v., a Chia Pet. I thought the idea was brilliant. See, it's ram. And you get the seeds wet and they ooze goo that sticks the seeds into grooves in the clay. And the clay stays wet by being filled with water and the seeds grow to look like wool on a sheep. How brilliant is that? Who wouldn't want to see that? 

They were advertised as gifts but my family considered them too stupid to be a real gift. My family were protecting me (and themselves) from me receiving a gag gift. It's too stupid to be a gift. So I was denied the entire time I grew up past my teens. 

Then I realized, Dude, just buy one for yourself. Duh. 

So I did. Problem was, by then the rams had been discontinued and replaced with a kitten. Or a puppy. Or a turtle (!) Or a hippopotamus (!) A frog (!), animals that don't even have fur. Then people's heads. I wanted what I wanted and I wanted a ram and now my chance for a Chia Pet ram is gone. What am I going to do, look for them at garage sales? Estate sales? What? 

What a bummer!

Right then eBay was invented. Finally. At last I had my first Chia pet.

And you know, that's how obsessions are started. When children are denied things then their mind locks onto it. It's just an idea. Play with the thing a couple of times and that takes care of that. 

The first one I bought cost $5.00 plus shipping. The first few I bought cost around that much. The price has been steadily increasing so now I see them start at $30.00 each plus shipping. So when one shows up for $20.00 that's a good bargain. 

Sometimes the boxes are new and unopened, the seeds inside some forty years old and nonviable. And that tells me that somebody received a Chia Pet ram as a gift some forty years ago and did not appreciate the joke one single bit. Put up the box in a closet and at length died. Their belongings rummaged and auctioned on eBay. And that makes me so sad, knowing that some person did not have it in them to appreciate such an awesome idea. They didn't even try it. Not even once. No curiosity at all. 

The unopened boxes are the saddest Chia Pets of all. And now the most valuable of all due to the value placed on unopened original toys by collectors and the conceits of those collectors as a group.  Man, I just don't understand that. A toy that was never played with. Doesn't that make you sad? 

This seller today wanted to make sure that I have the original box. The original registration card. The original seeds. They wan't to make sure I can play with it so they included a very large package of seeds. 

I can tell they're not authentic chia seeds. They look like grass seeds to me. Unless chia seeds are hybridized too in the last forty years. Chia seeds produce a sticky goo within minutes of contact with water. That's what makes the whole thing work.

This is the second Chia Pet ram this year. And both included fresh seeds. 

I find that touching that the two sellers this year want me to enjoy playing with my used Chia pet. They want me to experience the excitement a child feels. That is so cool. And so far, this far out from the original, the idea of including fresh seeds has only just now appeared. How thoughtful. It coincides with chia seeds becoming recognized as health food. And that coincides with the new popularity of micro greens.

This seller wanted the buyer to have the original rectangular tray that comes with the kit plus the tray they used to try out the toy. I just find all that remarkable.

Still, other sellers cannot tell the difference between a Chia Pet ram and a Chia Pet bull. The bodies are the same, the newer style faces are the same, the only difference is the shape of the horns. 

And nobody wants a Chip Pet cow! GAWL. That's not even original. Maybe a rancher. I don't know.