I didn't read it. I could be wrong here, I'm assuming they posted to jape about an obese Mexican-American lesbian activist artist pretending to be a desert rock. An area ... plump with possibilities for making fun. And they have only one picture. I wanted to see the rest so I searched and when I saw her thirty-year oeuvre I realized she's not a talentless hack as first assumed, in fact, these people look like the people who go out of their way to extend grace to me daily. I'm not being goofy or maudlin. Women who look very much like this constantly take it upon themselves to see me safely across an icy street, hold open doors and such, even when I don't really need any help. They think I look like a mess, I'm guessing, and they move in by my side. And I like that. Here, have a look at the rest of her work.
My older brother would really dig this.
Going through all the photos made me think of Maria Vlasic. She's Jiva's last girlfriend, the one that lasted the longest.
Here's the thing. Jiva is Hare Krishna and that fairly well defines him equal with being new age musician. All his girlfriends I've known were gothic and they all looked like Morticia to some extent. One day he was complaining about a girlfriend that he broke off and I asked, "The one who looks like Morticia?" And he died laughing. He went from complaining bitterly, most out of character, to laughing hysterically. But it didn't matter which one he was talking about because they all had that dark gloomy trait. It didn't clarify anything. He still thinks that glib characterization hit the nail. He still laughs at that.
Then came Maria Vlasic, of pickle renown.
She's an artist. And a very good one besides. She blows me away. She likes strange people, so get this, she doesn't like me. I'm insufficiently strange to suit her. Insufficiently paintable. Not an interesting subject. No piercings, no tattoos. Too normal a body.
And that really hurts my feelings, Morticia.
I hate your hair.
No I don't
Yes I do.
She never did anything to indicate she doesn't like me. But we artist types sense each other's vibes.
So I was going through her website again, to overwrite the memory of going through Laura Aguilar photos. They live up the street off 14th and she had an exhibition in my area, the Golden Triangle, a few blocks away. So she called and I walked over to see it.
The show was all nudes bang full monte in life-size acrylics, of strange men and women with severe piercings and the more comprehensive the tattoos then the better. None you could say are universally attractive. None would make a commercial model. Here is the series I saw. They're all very large.
Her technique is to work from a photograph, and she produces photorealistic images. Where Laura Aguilar takes photos and that is her work, taking photos is just step one for Maria. I respect her deeply.
Both she and Jiva are freaks about food. Honestly, feeding them is impossible. They're both against everything that I eat and I cannot think of anything that they like. We are 100% mismatched food-wise. They eat a lot at the Krishna temple a few blocks to their east. Mostly squishy flavorful pap things.
This painting of Maria's is titled, "Please Wait to be Seated." Then I noticed it's on permanent display at City O City restaurant.
Turns out City O City restaurant is just a few blocks away. A bock away from the Capitol. I can walk there.
But knowing that Maria goes there means it's gong to have limited stupid tofu food. Kale and tempeh. Imitation bacon and chicken made of wheat protein. Substitute cheese. Things made gluten free and other things made out of gluten protein. Egg things without eggs. Milkshakes without milk. Everything so very special and precious and restricted.
And both Maria and Jiva are not just fooling around either. Regular food genuinely makes them sick. One little meatball will turn their stomachs inside out. I sound like I'm critical, but I'm actually sympathetic to their very specific needs.
I looked at their menu but cannot make any sense of it. vo gfo n v gf on everything. Everything.
Everything sounds awful!
* pancakes topped with spicy kimchi, pickled carrots, sesame seeds and finished with sweet soy sauce
* waffle with bourbon-brined **chicken-fried cauliflower
* grilled tomato, fresno pepper jam and baby swiss sandwich, with arugula, dijon-mayo and fried egg or ^tofu on a saison roll, served with potatoes or quinoa (add $1)
But then I looked through the photos and everything looks amazing and beautiful. Everything!
Check out this slideshow. I love how people rave about things then other people take pictures of the same thing and say "don't buy this." Or an Asian soup bowl looks delicious piled up artistically with interesting vegetables inviting you to eat them, and the uploader says, "the broth is bland." And, "The all-day sandwich looks amazing but it's boring and dry." Some people love everything on the menu while others are brutally bluntly directly critical. Some say they wish they had a place like this in their city while others say their meal was a drag. Whatever they say, from an artistic pov these meals that they put together are very impressive. I can see why vegetarians like it. They do so much with off-the-wall ingredients. I can learn something from them.
This may sound strange, but I've begun to really enjoy tofu. The only thing I know to do with it is put it in miso, and to marinate it an Asian sauce. And I like both of those things very well.
On Yelp, they break the photos down into groups.
Food, inside, drink, outside, menu.
Here are the food photos as slideshow. See, right off, they show a fantastic plate of very interesting looking hash, they have potato chips in there and fried vegetables, big fat onion, the pile looks amazing, and sauce on the side. But the uploader wrote: "City o Hash grill. Do NOT recommend."
Ooooooooooh bummer!
Even so, you can still get great ideas. Check 'em out anyway.
2 comments:
The fat lesbo piece is a standard offering in the current art scene: it brings the ugly.
As to photo-realism -- what's the point? Yes, it demonstrates grinding meticulous effort. Which makes it actually tiring to look at. Why tiring? Because there's no spark. Is slavishness to the source photograph a good thing? Why paint at all if what you produce is a denial of painting? Of picture making.
Look at it this way.
Which would you want to lay on, the boulders or the bazoobz?
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