Thursday, December 28, 2017

Jim Jordan, Representative Ohio 4th District

Wrestling is gay.

In my last High School their P.E. class was the best of the lot. All the previous schools had P.E. but they all spent inordinate time with specific sports while the very last school spent two weeks per sport so if there was one that you didn't like, no worries, you'd be off it in two weeks. Baseball, football, basketball, blah. And it was the best equipped school of all. They had an olympic size pool, tennis courts, race track, basketball court, football field. We were exposed to golf, lacrosse, volley ball, gymnastics, even rifle shooting. And I learned the thing about wrestling is you're equally matched strength for strength so you wear out in mere minutes. It's like isometrics. Whatever you do, your strength is equalled exactly. Boom, you're done in nothing flat. It's exhausting. 

And it had been years since my older brother trained me. I wasn't ready. 

Had Barry kept wrestling with me then I'd have been more prepared. 

He used to beat me up regularly. Pinned me down and taunted me. He'd laugh as he overpowered me. It was humiliating. Every single day he'd push me around and physically dominate me and laugh as he did it and it pissed me right off with his physical superiority and his superior wrestling knowledge.

And then one day I thought, the key here is his laughing. I must make a point to do that. So that day I did laugh as we wrestled and that threw him off his game. Plus all that wrestling strengthened me. I copied what he did. He'd pin me down and hover over my face work up some slimy spit and dangle it over my face then suck it back in his mouth at the last second. Then laugh at me being tortured. Taunting me with his spit globs and laughing. 

That day I pinned him, laughed at him, and dangled spit over his face then sucked it back in. Over and over, laughing tauntingly the whole time.

And that was the end of that. 

No more wrestling. 


I was cut off. Because I could beat him. Because of that, no more wresting. His ego couldn't take being beaten. I only beat him once. And that was the end. And I missed it.

And that absence showed later in High School during those two weeks of wrestling. It wasn't fun. It was exhausting. And there was no laughing and no spit glob dangling. 

That whole spit thing was Barry's invention. Not mine.

What a creep.


ndspinelli said...

As I think back to the wrestlers I knew in high school and college, they were in large part, quite homophobic.

ndspinelli said...

That spit thing is pretty gay, w/ the spit being a proxy for sperm.

AllenS said...

The weight that I wrestled in PhyEd contained a couple of stinky fuckers. Yuck, who wants to wrestle some stinky, sweaty kid?

The Dude said...

I wrestled at 165 pounds. Fifty years have passed and now I have ballooned up to 185. That sneaky half-pound a year thing.

ricpic said...

Someone as ignorant of boxing as I am can nevertheless watch a good boxing match with pleasure. Wrestling, on the other hand, is a lousy spectator sport....unless the spectator is an aficionado who sees the subtleties in what to me look like the same quick takedown by one guy or the other over and over again.

Chip Ahoy said...

Can you see the guy's energy waning? You know he's a goner without any good moves.

Boxing is brutal. You're an animal for liking it.

This wrestling seems all about positioning so that the other guy cannot get any holds. Once Jordan has the guy's leg then it's fairly well over. And the guy couldn't get any hold onto Jordan. That's what made it so obscene. He was grabbing all around Jordan's perineum. It's a word! Sticking his hand through Jordan's squishy bits, right through his legs where they connect, and trying to grab onto his butt. That was the gayest part of all. Then Jordan wins and bounces all around, "yay, I'm the top and he's the bottom. If this were private I could have fucked him." That's what the whole thing looks like. Jeeze, all those spectators have dirty minds. They actually go there to watch and encourage it. My pure angelic untainted self can hardly even stand it.

bagoh20 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bagoh20 said...

My girlfriend says her brother did that to her all the time as kids. Knowing her, it must have been the worst or tortures.

chickelit said...

I thought you were married, bags. Are you already onto girlfriends?

bagoh20 said...

Never been married. Likely never will. I'm now raising my second family, but never had kids of my own. I'm like the opposite of a homewrecker. I fix broken families.

There is no good word for people in a monogamous relationship who are not married. "Partner" sounds gay or businessy. We sometimes refer to each other as husband and wife when needed, but I feel like I'm misleading when I do that. "Girlfriend" is a terrible alternative, but there is nothing else.

bagoh20 said...

I could use "The Blonde", but that's taken.