"What is the most bizarre thing you've caught yourself doing after your brain's autopilot misfired?"
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I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water.
Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.
while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.
Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.
Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.
The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "Fuck, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.
Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.
I high-fived him.
Turns out he was hailing a taxi.
Fist bumping the wrong guy. from gifs
8 comments:
Took 3 vitamins, one Potassium.
Talk about clearing the intestines.
I used to commute to work with a coworker who always drove his car to work. He only asked me to dive one time because his car was in the shop.
Anyways, I wake up one morning and I call him saying I'm not going to make it.
He replies... today's saturday Lem.
I worked for years on the 2nd shift - 3 pm to 11 pm. Finally, one summer I was working the day shift - 7 am to 3 pm. For whatever reason, when I got home about 4 pm, I sat on the couch and felt really tired, so I laid down and fell asleep. I woke up about 5 pm. Thinking that I was still on the second shift, I called work to tell them that I was going to be late for work. I heard laughter on the other end, with the words "you just left work about 2 hours ago".
About two weeks ago, I need to wash my work clothes. Turned on the washing machine, and when there was sufficient water in it, I added the detergent, and put the clothes in. Immediately went outside for about 2 hours. Remembering that I had washed clothes, went back into the house to put them in the drier, when I discovered that I hadn't closed the top of the washing machine, so the machine never got to spin/drain stage.
I could tell stories for about 10 hours if you'd like me to.
Long, long ago I spent two totally miserable years on midnight shift - 11pm to 7:30am.
Many people adapted and worked it by choice - not me. The funnest part was the 3d trigonometry class at 5am.
But, like Lem and Allen, driving halfway to work on a weekend happened more than once, along with leaving cars running, doors open, shoes on top of the car, forgetting how to get to work, etc. It was a two year daze.
As I get older and older I think that I'm relapsing. Finding myself in the kitchen with no idea why is not uncommon.
I have 5 claw hammers. Anyone want to guess why?
I have 5 claw hammers. Anyone want to guess why?
Probably the same reason my husband has multiple pipe wrenches, flashlights and about 15 pairs of WalMart reading glasses :-)
Similar thing happened to me 20 years ago. This was in January. Got up, took a shower, got dressed. Then looked at the clock and realized it was 3 AM and not 6 AM. Too early for work.
Reminds me of the time I woke up in the middle of the night, laying on the floor, face down. Didn't where I was. Thought i was in Las Vegas and had passed out drunk. After about 10 seconds, I realized I was in my bedroom and had fainted after going the bathroom. Don't know why I did, and I've never done it again. Of course, being Young and stupid and didn't go to a Doctor. But whatever.
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