"What's a skill you've learned that has improved your daily life?"
Reddit best answers...
Saying no to people. Don't feel bad about saying no, it's better than saying yes when you're not comfortable with doing something, and you don't make excuses on why you can't do something.
I've learned how to manage my time. I used to consistently run late, anywhere from 5-15 minutes, until I realized that racing around and still being late made me feel stressed and anxious (never mind the fact that being late all the time is disrespectful as fuck to everyone who has the decency to show up on time).
I spent some time really exploring how much time it takes to complete basic tasks. I started to pay attention to how much time it actually takes to get from point A to point B. I made it a priority to be early, and then gradually fine tuned the process until I was dialed in to arrive on time without being super early. I stopped making excuses for why I was late, and pretty soon I didn't have a reason to make excuses...Now I can be on autopilot and still be where I need to be, with all of my tasks completed, with about 5 minutes to spare.
Being on time is a habit, just like being late is. It's a much less stressful and more pleasant habit to have though.
Letting people finish their sentences before I start mine. Conversations flow like gravy.
Clean as you go. It's such a tiny, simple thing but is such a huge departure from how most people live their lives it's tough to get into. People always comment now that I'm super clean and tidy, just because I wipe up a few drips of coffee that spill from my cup as soon as it happens.
But it is SO much nicer and comfortable living in a clean place, where you basically just put things away when you're done with them, instead of letting grime and clutter build up for a week or two and cleaning it all at once.
Think twice before speaking.
Delayed gratification.
I don't rush to buy the new hot thing, and after I sleep on it I usually realize I have a decent slightly-used thing already. Or, I realize it makes sense to get the new thing. But taking the emotional rush of impulse buying off the table has been tremendously good for my financial well-being.
I think delayed gratification also helps in not feeling entitled. Waiting isn't inherently bad. It isn't an injustice. It's just waiting; we all do it. Wait your turn.
Cooking. Nothing fancy, but I can make a healthy meal from scratch without fuss.
39 comments:
one of the comments in the post talks about time management. I was good in that regard. But, for the past 3 decades I have made my living billing time. That means accounting for every minute of what you did and submitting those bills to corporations, attorneys, insurance companies, etc. I am in the upper stanine in time management and efficiency because of that.
I’ve learned that unhappiness in my life stems from my own dishonesty. Any time I’ve been unhappy in work, in love, in whatever, I can usually trace it backwards to a moment when I was not being truthful.
The value of letting people finish before chiming in can be woefully underestimated.
I recall a co-worker who would not let me finish when i was speaking and it slowly dawned on me where I stood in his view. I was unimportant.
It said something about the both of us.
Saying NO is huge.
this one has taken me the longest. I'm finally getting the hang of it.
Jim - A-men to that.
Jim, What a heartfelt and insightful comment.
Lem, I am fortunate. My old man was a superb listener. And, listening became part of my profession. I have come to see so much of human behavior is about control. People who don't let you finish a sentence are insecure control freaks. You know, there are many drawbacks to this type of communication. But, one thing written communication allows is for one to express themselves w/o interruption.
April, While not exclusive to women, the problem w/ saying "NO" is primarily a female one. When I first met my bride in the mid 70's, she was reading one of the first self help books, When I Say No I Feel Guilty. The chronic problem was w/ her mother.
But, one thing written communication allows is for one to express themselves w/o interruption.
Conservatism, as a political idea, would not have survived.
ND- and the NO thing is often between females and other females.
I have two very manipulative females in my life - a neighbor and a client. (I could tell stories!) They think I'm stupid and that I don't understand they use manipulation to, well, manipulate me.
Now - I just say NO, without any explanation. It drives them nuts and I find solitude and (a bit of guilty pleasure) knowing it does. Also, they now leave me alone. (desired effect)(thus proving they have no use for me other than their manipulations) I feel sorry for the next sucker. I'm tired of being a sucker. These females who pretend to be my friend in order to "get" something are no longer allowed to waste my time. It's very freeing.
Yes - I'm venting here.
Moral - Appreciate the solid friends. Let the bad "friends" go. Try to be a solid friend.
Never worry about what people think.
Be your own (wo)man.
April, I think "venting" is one of the most healthy aspect of this blog. I'm guessing you're an introvert like myself. At a fairly early age, I came to realize one of the greatest liberation's anyone can attain is not giving a shit about what others think. Now, there are some people about whom I care much of what they think of me. They would all fit @ my dining room table.
LOL! edutcher and I almost simultaneously saying the same thing!
If you train yourself not to touch your face you'll avoid a lot of colds over the years.
Indeed. Quality, not quantity.
Here's an example of me saying NO to my manipulative client:
short answer:
"NO"
Here's the alternative longer answer.
So, "C", without actually asking me, you want me to ask the drapery installer, who suffers from Parkinsons, to hang your heavy mirror as a "throw in/ you-owe-me" instead of waiting for the handy-man to do it. Uh - NO.
I concur with the clean as you go. It makes life so much easier. The chores or cleaning don't pile up to depress you. Little things like when you are done with a drink or cup of coffee, pick it up, wash or rinse out and put in the cupboard or dishwasher. Pick up your socks, shoes. Put magazines in a neat stack. Even if you don't 'make' the bed, just putting the covers and bedspread back in a somewhat straightened manner just makes the room look more inviting.
Cooking is a huge thing. Learn this skill and your life will be immeasurably improved. Not only are you eating better, more diverse foods, you are eating less expensively. This budget enhancement allows you the ability to eat in fancy restaurants and have a night out more often as well. Oh....and clean as you go so when you are done cooking the kitchen is not a cluttered mess of dirty pans, dishes, counter covered in flour etc.
nd, eventually great minds will come together.
The use of the word "healthy" when referring to a meal cracked me up - really? What, no plutonium? Only a dash of asbestos? Who talks like that - let me cook you a "healthy" meal rather than the my usual fried lard with red dye #2 and high fructose corn syrup. What the heck?
Learning morse code improves your life. A new form of music.
Learn to cut grass with a scythe. Many half hours of quiet exercise in work breaks.
@ Sixty
I mean healthy, as in fresh or fresh frozen ingredients (we had lemon baked cod fillets last night, steamed brown rice with chives and butter and fresh green salads with grapefruit segments and pine nuts.) Healthy is knowing what is in the food, being able to control portions, salt, sugar, vegetables, carbs, fruits...... and yes...no dyes, or ingredients which we cannot pronounce the names....or at least keeping those to a minimum.
There nothing un-healthy about lard, butter, ribeye steaks, eggs, salt or sweeteners and all the other stuff that the food nazis want to nag at us about. Moderation and control. Plus a pretty presentation of the food too. It isn't called eye candy for nothing.
Healthy diet, to me, is an overall balanced diet that works for each person. For example I can easily eat something that is high in fat, sugar and carbs with no effect, while it would put my husband who has type 2 diabetes into a coma. Overall balance in that we can indulge sometimes and other times moderation. Overall, in the long run and not obsessing over every meal or every calorie.
Mainly I mean limiting the pre processed foods that you have zero idea about quality or ingredients.
Coconut creme pie can be healthy, as long as you don't eat the whole thing at once. Just as it doesn't hurt to have that glass of wine or cocktail...in moderation. /wink
I was referring to the original post - I grew up eating lard - it seriously makes the best baked goods, and yet my coronary arteries are clear, last time I checked.
It just cracked me up - the use of language these days is an endless source of amusement for me. Seems like there is ever more drama and exaggeration for things that barely rise to the point of even being noticed.
Due to my limited diet I took a lot of grief from my coworkers "Oh, you eat 'healthy'" - why yes, yes I do. It's either that or go into shock. Simple decision when you get right down to it. So I guess you could say I was triggered by that post. If you need me I'll be in my safe space.
Healthy shmealthy, just don't forget the tabasco sauce.
Learn to point out flaws in other sexes tactfully. They're pretty hair-trigger people.
I'm wonder how to improve my slapped-together 40m loaded vertical and elevated radial system antenna. Google is full of contradictory advice, ranging from it doesn't matter to you're going to die.
The transceiver loads it with a 1-1 SWR from the 3-1 SWR it has barefoot. If I bring down the latter by trimming the radials a little, will it help or won't it matter?
Who knows.
It's a lot of time in the sun to try.
The elevated radials serve as guy wires, a two-fer.
My antenna as of Monday. Looking up. The blob is a coil of coax serving as a choke to prevent radiation back down the feedline. Three guy wire/radials plus a 4th non-guy; two more added Tuesday.
The wires all stay about ten feet up, so the only footprint on the lawn is the pole it's all on. You can scythe under it without hindrance.
I set the kitchen timer to remind myself when to start heading for the door if I have an appointment outside the house. I'm rarely late anymore, except for traffic. Although my other half likes to show up early (10-15 min), I haven't convert to that approach yet.
That may not be a skill so much as a coping method.
Learning to say "This doesn't work for me" without any further explanation has been a useful and freeing skill to have in my tool box. (Yes! to AprilA) It took me until I was 50 to learn that one.
I appreciate the interruption comments. I'm now in the process of learning to recognize my motives with more clarity. (Hat tip to Jim of StL)
Is use of intelligent humor a learned skill or coping method? Either way, it's fun.
I'll go with learned skill for $500, Alex.
Learning to make bread.
But the downside is now everybody else's bread tastes like crap. Even in French restaurants. They should know better. They should be the best, and I'm sitting there thinking my own bread is better. Except once in awhile I'm compelled to go, holy yeast culture, Batman, this bread is excellent. It does happen sometimes.
But I want to go to that guy who makes sandwiches at the proper restaurant underneath the Red Rocks amphitheater seating and new extended area behind them, "Dude, pick the right g.d. rolls for your sandwiches, will you please? The bread to filling ratio is exceeded by 300%. You're a professional. You should know better."
And he'd be all, wut? wut?
That's a problem with cooking in general that you wouldn't expect. Because every thing that you make you're privately inquiring what you could do to make it better. You're taste-testing your tongue off, even when finished your self-analysis continues critically exploring improving possibilities.
So you go out and decide the first bite your sandwich has too much salt and the entire thing is ruined for you because you are smarter than they when it comes to taste, your taste is more refined by practice, you actually know what is wrong with their taste, their technique or their presentation. This is not good for conversation, you must think of a way to express this by joke.
My steak sandwich was too salty. If I ate it, I'd turn into a salt lick, or Lot's unfortunate wife. And I'm talking to Rob and he's an interesting person. I get carried away and all yakkitty yak My long sandwich cut in half has one bite out of it and Rob's entire meal is gone.
"You sure do eat fast."
"Yes. I do. Like they do in prison."
"They do?"
"Yeah, they also protect their food." He uses his arm to protect his vanished meal from sight. He continues,
"Because another prisoner will take it."
"They do?
"Yes. They also eat their dessert first or someone will take it. And they eat very fast."
The chips were good. But the sandwich has too much salt. And it's impossible to enjoy because of that. If I were starved then that would be overcome. If I didn't know how to cook then I wouldn't be able to put my finger on what was wrong.
Toni kept dragging me into trouble. It's a thing with her. Her friend's party, her friend's guacamole, tastes terrible. I didn't even know. I hadn't even tried it. That's another thing, everybody else's guacamole is terrible. She dragged me into it by telling the host I can fix it. So there I am now taste-testing someone else's disaster. Way, way, WAY WAY too much lime. Too much acid. How to fix? By quadrupling every other ingredient. Or, throw it away and start over.
So now I'm the asshole.
Another of her friend's house, her friend's party, her friend's brownies fail. That's okay, Chip can make brownies from scratch. Go on, Chip, show 'em, show 'em you can make brownies from scratch.
"Well you see, brownies are a failed cake. That's how you make brownies, you fail a cake." That was perceived as insulting and not elucidating. Because I just said the hostess failed at failing. So now I'm the asshole. And there I am making brownies from scratch so Toni can prove something.
She kept volunteering my services where I would not.
She sold some five Egyptian style paintings, dug up commissions for me, where I would not have, just by being unable to shut up. If we were married I'd never have a moment of peace, she would constantly be finding things for me to do. Constantly volunteering me for her and her friends' projects. The brownie fail woman bought two Egyptian paintings. Apparently she accepted artist types are assholes sometimes. It comes with the territory. In her view of people who make brownies from scratch and paint pictures that look very old.
But mad odd skills do provide some amusing stories.
We're back from Dinosaur ridge and driving downtown looking for a place that is open that would be good. We pass by a tall building.
"A friend of a friend lives up there on the 22nd floor. A 6'5" psychiatrist with a parrot. The parrot's cage takes up a bedroom, that bedroom opens to the terrace.
The psychiatrist knew of the Egyptian art and that's all. He has two life-size styrofoam cutouts white silhouettes of Egyptian figures used for window display during the Ramses II exhibition. He obtained them from Joslin's who were changing their display. Now he needs them detailed, knew of me and asked me over to help him. We're both out there on his terrace painting the silhouettes with his parrot's foot chained to the railing.
The parrot is picking up brushes and chewing them and letting them drop the 22 floors to the alley. The parrot is making a mess. Bob the psychiatrist is talking baby talk to the parrot. The parrot is exceedingly irritating and no fun whatsoever, as you'd think and exotic parrot might.
Bob said, "I must go to dental appointment nearby. I'll be gone for an hour. Sorry."
What a dick.
Invites me over to help then ditches me.
In the quiet of his absence I drew a necklace on the figure, a rainbow of concentric bands connected by hundreds of parallel lines representing thin stones. My mind is focused on the tip of the brush and my thinking is meditative , it goes like this:
"line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line, line."
Suddenly the parrot goes, "HELLO BOB!" My line goes screeeeeeeeeeech.
Like a SWAT team flying over the balcony 22 floors up greeting me personally. Son of BITCH I wanted to kill that bird. A chicken would be better than that stupid fuck'n parrot that talk only when Bob is gone and at the most quiet moment.
I noticed Rob is not so easily given to mirth but he did find that side story amusing.
That party turned out to be a huge dealio too, a fundraiser intended to shakedown professional people, drawing them together for a visit the Rameses exhibit directly across the street on Colorado Blvd. A dentist who lived in the house across from Colorado Museum of Natural History hosted a lot of fundraising things. Maybe still does.
Do you make potato bread, Chip? Goes well with almost any sandwich filling except for potatoes. :^/
Sweatin' It Out
Scything without hindrance
Coming through the rye,
Worry sheaves - good riddance -
Go down with a sigh.
Sixty is correct, lard is actually good for you (it is certainly not bad). Better than many processed veggies oils. Best to make it at home because the stuff in the stores now is processed a lot. Make cracklins and save the liquid fat, cool it, and you have lard.
Olive, walnut, pistachio, hazelnut, coconut oil, lard, ghee are all good.
Corn, peanut, soybean oil middling.
Grapeseed, cannola oil, bad.
Wow, this thread did a lot better than I had anticipated. Made my day. Thanks.
As for me, I dont think I can call it a skill, as much as an effort to integrate the fellowship into my life and the 12 steps of AA. It has worked for me.
For me, the most immediate skills I've learned have been contemplation and introspection. Something I've been learning to do over a long period of time, but now that I have a lot of time on my hands, I can sit still and just think and reflect.
That was sarcasm right Methadras?
AJ Lynch said...
That was sarcasm right Methadras?
I'm multifaceted in the way my brain works. I sometimes have serious issues with impulse control and a need to opine on things from an visceral point of view, but in reality, I have learned to just sit and think if I am idle. It doesn't work a lot of times because my brain is always on, but in quiet moments i can get some peace and clarity.
The worst advice is unsolicited. I learned to stop offering it. You should, too.
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