Saturday, May 4, 2019

Lasagna rolls

You get the whole thing in the first minute boom you're done.

It's the exact same thing as spinach enchiladas except totally different.

And if you start talking like an Italian again then, chuh, you are like, s-o-o-o im-muh-chur.

You Say

This is an evangelical crossover song that was received very well at the Billboard Awards.



Guy brought me what he called a redwood burl

But I have my doubts that's what it is. He said he picked it up in California but based on the color of the finished bowl we both agree that perhaps he got the tree species wrong.

The burl as delivered:


Once it was in my shop I screwed a piece of 2x2 to one side of it so that it would be flat enough for me to saw on my bandsaw:


I scribed a circle using large dividers then sawed it on the bandsaw. That gave me a good idea of what I was working with:


With the burl tipped sideways in the vise I was able to see how much sound wood there was:


Next, I used a handsaw to cut away the unevenness that was on what would become the top of the bowl:


Here is how it looked after that operation:


That gave me enough sound wood to drill a hole which I could use to hold the blank on the lathe using the set of small jaws:


Like so:


Then I fired up the lathe and started making the lumpy burl round:


I wanted to leave as much of the uneven surface as I could as I turned a foot with which to grab the bowl for reverse turning the inside:


Here is another view of the rough turned outside:


Once the bowl was reversed I started hollowing out the inside:


As the work progressed I hit more and more unsound wood and a large void - that void was a major defect that threatened the structural integrity of the bowl:


But I kept turning and eventually hit enough sound wood to keep the bowl alive:


That left only a lot of sanding to be done and next thing you know - bowl!


It has great figure, great chatoyance and lots of stuff going on, with stuff being the technical term for what you see in that bowl.

Anyway, I was just going to use this site to format an email version of this picture essay, but what the hey, might as well hit publish. All it needs is a bit of redwood-related music.

Niece

My niece is a bit slow on the uptake. No matter how carefully, explicitly, simply I explain things, I'm doomed to be misunderstood.

So that I'm stuck on square one throughout.

I told her, Amazon says they delivered a photo album to you. That is intended to hold photos of your wedding that are scheduled to arrive on Monday.

She answered. Oh. Well, thank you. Amazon didn't say who sent it. It will be good to hold photos of my baby due to arrive in November.

She's telling me that she's pregnant.

I'm thinking, great, the album can hold both. Wedding and baby.

I congratulate her on her pregnancy and mark my calendar.

But that's where her mind now resides. The wedding was then, that's done and gone, this is now. She has something new on her mind.

I told her. Some of the photos taken with the Galaxy phone had unsightly orange bands going across them. I spent a good deal of time in Photoshop fixing them but to limited success. One of your wedding dress and another of you on the raised platform.

She answered. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the photos.

And I'm all, Bitch, I'm NOT enjoying them, they're a pain in the ass. I did this FOR YOU!

Calm yourself. Calm yourself. Repeat they were printed for her. Repeat, to expect them on Monday. Repeat, to put in the album that already arrived. Repeat, those two things go together.

Do not mention it has nothing to do with her expected baby. But it could if she wants it to. She can change the purpose if not the intention of her wedding album. But saying that will confuse and dismay her because in her mind it diminishes her baby, and right now that's the only thing that counts. My part is about her wedding a year and a half ago while all her thoughts are on her new baby. It is not possible to shake her off her upcoming baby and talk about her wedding now so far in the past.

While I talk to her brother all the time. And we talk about extremely involved complex things. Such as concepts. And there is never any miscomprehension. Our communication is lengthy. And clear. Much more so than average emails that simply communicate simple singular things. Yet his sister inhabits another world altogether. Where simple straightforward and extremely limited communication all fails. The simplest thing, and we talk right past each other.

Most frustrating. To keep getting the wrong responses no matter what, no matter the subject.

Come to think of it, the same frustration discussing anything with a partisan Democrat. You're forever stuck on step one: kill the chicken.

Tyson chicken recall

Comment made elsewhere:

Wow! This is a massive USDA Tyson frozen fried chicken strip recall – over 11 Million lbs! Ironically, I was thinking about making fried chicken strips last week (I make mine from scratch).

Tyson Foods, Inc. Recalls Chicken Strip Products Due to Possible Foreign Matter Contamination

The scratch part got me. Because genuine free-range chickens such as you have on a farm scratch the ground for things to eat like seeds, grubs, roly-polies, centipedes, lizards, spiders, worms, baby snakes, corn kernels. And when you cook such a bird and eat it, you're amazed how gamey it tastes. Like pheasant. Or some such wild thing. Really wild.

One time I cooked four, when I was in my mid-twenties, purchased from a downtown health food store, in their weird little freezer section, then at home, each baked in their own glass casserole dish, for a dinner party of ten people, and our minds were blown. Very very wild.

American chickens are grown as blank slates so that you add your own flavor to them, through herbs, or spices, or alliums, or citrus, whatever. You can do whatever you want, but this type of true free range chicken cannot be helped in this way. They're way too gamey.

And Whole Foods offers very good clean birds that they term free-range, while actually mass produced with limited access to limited scratching, and some that are both free range and organic, but none of that comes close to genuine farm-raised free ranging chickens that go around scratching up food.

And if you try to buy such a chicken from speciality shops, they are outrageously expensive, about $30.00 each, and they still don't come anything close to those first gamey birds. I'm convinced they no longer exist.

Such a disappointment.

I'm imagining her chicken strips from scratch begin with raw chicken strips from the grocery store. And that's what makes them scratch.

Recipe for true chicken strips from scratch.

Step 1: Kill a chicken.

Usually by stretching its neck through two penny nails hammered into a flat side of an upright log. The chicken resists this abuse although it has no idea the horror that comes next. Then use a hatchet to chop off its head. WHAP! One good clean stroke.

The beheaded chicken goes running around the yard flapping its wings wildly spraying blood all over the place out of its neck hole until it drops, but still flapping. It does take awhile for the chicken to actually die and stop moving. This might be a bit disconcerting because you have to keep track of where it goes as it flaps around horribly and then go over to where it drops and trembles and shakes and watch it until it finally stops, and then pick it up.

With your hands.

Or possibly with a shovel.

Put the children up before you do this, the sight of it can harm their tender psychologies for years.

Ask me how I know that.

Step 2: Blanch the chicken in hot water to simmering to loosen its feathers.

Step 3: Pluck the feathers inside a barrel so you don't make a mess of the whole porch. Or, place the chicken inside a barrel lined inside with rubber fingers and set on rollers attached to an electric motor, such that the rubber fingers pull off the feathers as the wet beheaded bird tumbles inside the barrel, until the chicken is denuded of all of its feathers. An unholy spectacle if ever there was one.

Sing the Hebrew chicken song.

Step 4: Cut the chicken open and remove all its guts, reserving its heart, gizzard, liver and neck.

Step 5: Chop off its feet. Reserve for stew or toss into a stir fry as Asian people do.

Step 6: Pour a full pound of kosher salt inside and outside of the chicken, coating it completely. We're making a kosher chicken, not a gentile chicken.

Step 7: Later, rinse off all the salt. And soak. This will pull out some of the salt that the chicken absorbed. It's an equilibrium thing. Salt will move from the moisture inside chicken to the water outside the chicken until the salinity levels between them are equal. Discard the salty water and do this again with fresh water to further reduce the salt inside the chicken.

Step 8: Butcher the chicken.

Step 9: Cut the breast meat into strips.

Sing the Hebrew chicken song.

Step 10: prepare three flat dishes such as pie pans with:

1) seasoned flour
2) beaten egg mixed with milk
3) bread crumbs

Step 11: By dredge and drench method, dip the chicken strips in flour so that they are lightly coated so that the egg and milk adhere. Then dip each strip in the egg/milk mixture and allow excess to drain off. Then roll each chicken strip in bread crumbs.

Step 11: Chill the coated chicken strips so all that coating really takes hold. You can skip this part if you want to but some of your coating will come off if you do skip.

Step 12 : Fry the coated chicken strips in vegetable oil heated to 350℉ until golden brown. They'll cook fairly quickly since the meat is cut into strips. No worry about undercooked chicken. Concern yourself with the color of the fried breading.

Step 13: Drain on a paper grocery bag, paper towels, or wire rack.

Chicken Soup 1973

Jamaican pineapple and ginger drink

* Pineapple skins, but not the bottom nor the top, cleaned and boiled.
* Generous ginger
* Lime
* Tangerine or orange
* Cane sugar.

Boil, Filter. Boom. Done.

He could have said, chill and run through the Soda Stream to carbonate.

This video could be ten seconds long, instead it's eight minutes so skip, skip, skippidy doo dah all the way through. 

It's close to the pickling juice I made for cucumbers. Half a ton of thinly sliced ginger and sugar. Made ten jars and ate them all except two jars that I gave away. It's my type of drink, syrup actually. You'd hate it.

Scant Clove. Allspice. Cinnamon would all be good.

Trump trolls his opponents

He pokes them. Jabs them. They tried to get him so mad that he'd do something to obstruct their investigation that covered their coup against him (and us). Now free of the investigation he provokes them to do something, knowing they cannot help themselves and that makes them look even worse. It's his way of winning back the House.

For all the criticism he's received for his unpresidential tweets, he is very good at this sort of thing. He drives his opponents absolutely nuts.

Trump Twitter, seriously, the best account that they have. Trump is the master of Twitter.



* I'm talking to the enemy you accused me of colluding with.  And you think this is a bad thing.

* We're talking about the failed socialist project that you'd have us emulate.

* And the Ukraine, the country you've colluded with in your putsch. The one we're investigating now.

* And North Korea, the country that doesn't trust us but does trust Putin, making headway where no one else could.

* And the outrageous hoax that you perpetrated on both of us to the detriment of the whole world.

* That's okay, we're overcoming all your sad sorry mistakes.

All that in two short tweets. 

Caladiums

I just now ordered a shipment of caladium bulbs for an old friend. This individual has a a bit of property abutting a popular park. An upscale condominium designed for minimum care. He regularly makes a half-butt effort at gardening but his heart is not in it and he doesn't know what he is doing. And it shows. I have no idea if he'll actually plant these things, I'm just trying to give him some options, and make it easy.

If he decides to give them away, boy, will I ever be cross.

No I won't. Kidding.

Either way, they'll make excellent gifts for someone.

I did this already with people right here in this building to very good results. Handfuls of caladium bulbs put into brown sandwich bags and left at the door with a little note.

Caladiums take awhile to settle in and get going and they need steadily warm nighttime temperatures, so the bulbs just sit there for weeks and people go, "See? I have a black thumb. Nothing ever grows for me." Then suddenly BLAM! The caladium stalks emerge and they grow like crazy. Observably, each day. And they produce spectacular large heart-shaped leaves in brightly colored patterns.

If you gouge out the eyes of the bulbs before planting, then each bulb produces a bush of foliage.

If you don't gouge out the eyes, then each bulb will produce one, two, or three stalks, and that's it.

Lame.

In that case they look like little-old-lady plants. But if you gouge them and redistribute their internal growth hormone, then they grow spectacularly with incredibly thick foliage. Then, the bulbs crammed together in pots, and with the bulb's eyes gouged out, the foliage is quite dense, and you'll be all, "OMG, look at me, I'm a genuine gardener!"

That happened to people around here. I gave them the joy of growing spectacular plants. They didn't know about these things. They didn't know what is possible.

I want to spread that joy.

And the plants grow well in the shade.

And they're not expensive at all.

Here are the plants that I ordered and had mailed to my difficult friend.

Ten bulbs of each type. So, only thirty bulbs.




These get planted late spring, early summer, and they stay gorgeous all summer long. 

The bulbs can be dug up and saved for overwintering or else they'll dissolve into the soil. Not so bad to buy them each year. They can be brought inside and allowed to dry and hibernate, then rejuvenated inside, or re-planted outside again.

Overwintering is another project having to do with keeping fungus off them and keeping them dry and cool but not cold.

I also sent the difficult friend some beans that grow very long such as Chinese people like. They have a thing about long vegetables representing long life. But then, what do you do with ridiculously long beans? Cut them up, of course, or let them dry and use them as regular dried beans.

They're just so cool with their red pods against dark green leaves. 

These are cool weather plants. Best in spring, and they don't do so well in the heat of summer.


Are they cool, or what? 

She should have planted them more thickly. This looks like the end of the line. The leaves are turning yellow and the pods are fully grown. 

Come on! Go for it. Grow a whole wall of them


I've given double packages of these beans to four different people this year. I have no idea if they intend to grow them.

If nothing else, they can eat the beans. Or give away the packages.

I bought three packages for myself because I want to plant them densely. I'm going to really crowd these things, so the foliage completely covers the railing. And mixed with other vining plants because I expect they'll begin dying back a bit early. 

But I don't actually know.

Friday, May 3, 2019

Library

Jstustudios, prank videos, eating loudly in a library. Appreciate how gorgeous the women. I cannot explain why I find the dudes so hilarious. This is so fun they kept at it, there are dozens of such videos on YouTube.

Two Florida teens swam out too far in the ocean and were saved by people in a boat

One imagines two boys because it's the sort of dumb thing boys do, but the photo shows a girlfriend/boyfriend.

There are a few photos here, the boat, the kids, the ocean.

They had skipped school on what they're calling "senior skip school day" and went out swimming in the ocean and were taken about two miles out.

There is a bit of irony that makes this story religious. The internet sites where this story is published are hyperbolic presenting the story as purely religious and exaggerating the situation in which two miles out is "middle of the ocean."

The teens, both seventeen years old, were helping each other keep at the surface but their strength was waning and they began to pray.

Smith said, "I cried out, 'if you really do have a plan for us, like, come on. Just bring something.'"

Then a boat sailing from South Florida to New Jersey spotted the teens in distress.

(Perhaps it was the boat's owner and not the boat that did the spotting)

Brown said, "I started swimming towards it. I was like, 'I'm going to get this boat. Just stay here. I'm going to get this boat. We are going to live.'"

Smith and Brown. That's all we're having for names.  Probably some law about naming underage. Let's just say, Smith and Jones.

Their prayers were answered in the form of a boat, A Godsend, named 'The Amen."

"The first words that came out of my mouth were, 'God is real.'"

(Most likely after "thank you," and "Man, you came just in time," and "We thought we were goners," and "Our parents are sure going to kill us."  But there's a story to report here and we've got our angle.)

The men in the boat brought the teens onboard and carried them safely to shore. The teens are thanking God and the men who saved them.

Smith said, "There is no other reason, no other explanation in the world other than God,"

Except coincidence, sea lanes, steady reliable sea lane traffic, common near shore routes, heavy boat traffic, and wealthy retirees.

Metaphysically speaking, God works on earth through angels. The kids thank God and they thank the men, but overlook the operating agency of angels.

We read stories like this all the time. Prayer really does call forth the angels and they really do rally to assistance and do God's work invisible to human sight.

I have my own such story about the power of prayer and it changed me permanently.

My favorite similar story is a rock climber in Hawaii, caught in the darkness and doomed. He was sliding down more than progressing forward and his situation worsening with each minute. He was dying right there on the hill. He would certainly have died without help, but with no chance of help appearing.

He called out for help and it came instantly. He reports that suddenly his exhausted legs were lifted for him and placed just so, not by his own effort, just so expertly, one after the other with speed and precision that he did not possess such it seemed he was literally flying up the slope of loose rock, over the sliding rocks. Something else was working his legs and placing his hands. He crawled up the mountain at great speed, faster than he could go by himself and with greater precision, to the top as if being lifted by angels. Much like holding a dog in the air who dog paddles as if in water. Something supernatural had happened, something beyond his own physical ability, and it came after he asked for it, after he prayed.

Thereafter, for the rest of his life, the man was certain of the truth and power of prayer. But he had to ask first, and ask for help with great emotion. That was the key to his prayer being answered.

If you make a half-ass prayer for assistance, it doesn't resonate, it cannot connect for insufficient power of signal.  It doesn't work. The prayer must be real. The prayer must be powerful. The situation must be right at the edge of disaster.

Manta rays

Michael Wolf, Hong Kong

A red-head monkey

Link.

On Famous Pairs and Falala for Five Hundred


Doug Collins (R Alabama) browbeats Nadler in committee

It's rather good.

Minority Republicans actually do get to talk once in awhile in committee and Collins uses his time to traduce Nadler as chairman.

I could Photoshop Nadler with his fingers in his ears and tilting his head back and forth, rolling his eyes, sticking his tongue out, putting on a goofy face and going la la la la la la la la. But I don't feel like it.


Oops.

And everyone else playing video games on their phones. So it hardly matters to people who feel no shame and are incapable of embarrassment. 

But it's still a bit fun to hear.

Thursday, May 2, 2019

All that jazz

Again. What can I say - this little clip has it all - Vivaldi, uppers, downers, all-arounders, dance, music, Broadway, the narrow way, the path not taken, the path taken to excess, proof that smoking is bad for you, heck, you even get to see ricpic at the 2:40 mark during his brief career as a dancer. Boy has some mad chops, just sayin'.

For your evening entertainment:



You know I don't like fishing

And I like phishing even less. Just got an email stating that there were suspicious transactions on my credit card - hmm - and they take place in the future! Click the link and what do you know - they want all my information - that's odd, one might think that they have all of that already. Called the phone number on the back of my actual credit card and next thing you know I am talking to Bangalore or Mumbai or some such place, but even through their jolly Bengali accents I was able to understand them enough to sort that out.  It was a email phishing scam - be alert - they are out to hook you! The world of cyber transactions requires eternal vigilance.

But back to the subject at hand - sign language. I have never seen "Children of a Lesser God", and based on what I have read about it, probably never will. I wonder if they make a musical version of it whether Frank Loesser will write the music. Of course he won't, he's dead and they are deaf. Shut up!

I did read some excepts from reviews of that movie, including one by Richard Schickel of TIME Magazine who said of Matlin, "she has an unusual talent for concentrating her emotions--and an audience's--in her signing. But there is something more here, an ironic intelligence, a fierce but not distancing wit, that the movies, with their famous ability to photograph thought, discover in very few performances." I guess he meant that she uses expression and her face space to convey meaning. That's that ASL is all about - communicating though visual means only. No wonder she is good at it - that's what she does. And what she has always done. 

But for now, back to work.


The Babe Abides

"Babe you have always been a hero of mine. You know you were probably the best player the Red Sox ever had. Well before me that is. What advice can you give me?"
"Well keed there is one thing I know. Watch out for your kids."
"Why's that Babe?"
"Cause if you don't you can end up with you head cut off on a can of tuna fish."
"What the fuck are you talking about"
"Don't worry keed. You'll see just wait. Now leave me alone so I can enjoy my cigar and cough."

The Jig is Up



Nineteen prominent theologians have published a letter in which they accuse the Pope of heresy. From the Catholic News Agency:

.- A group of nineteen Catholics, including some prominent academics, have published an open letter to the bishops of the world accusing Pope Francis of heresy.
The letter, made public on April 30, was dated “Easter week” and signed by 19 individuals, including Fr. Aiden Nichols OP, an internationally recognized theologian and author. The 15-page letter begins by asking the bishops of the world to take some action against the pope.
“We are addressing this letter to you for two reasons: first to accuse Pope Francis of the canonical delict of heresy, and second, to request that you take the steps necessary to deal with the grave situation of a [sic] heretical pope.”
The letter lists seven specific areas of Church teaching where the signatories believe the pope has “through his words and actions, publicly and pertinaciously” demonstrated his belief in “propositions that contradict divine law.”
The complaints focus on supposed teachings of the pope concerning sexuality and morality which they claim run contrary to the Church’s magisterium. The letter highlights what the signatories believe to be problematic passages from the pope’s 2016 post-synodal apostolic exhortation Amoris laetitia, especially concerning Catholics in irregular marital situations.
Among specific heretical beliefs the letter accuses the pope of holding is the position that a Catholic can, with full knowledge of divine law, violate that law and not be in a state of grave sin.
The letter also references a number of bishops, cardinals, and priests whom the authors claim are themselves heretical and the pope either appointed or allowed to remain in office, as further proof of the Holy Father’s “heresy.”
I have been talking about the fact that this Pope is illegitimate and has done much to try to destroy the Church from within for years. From his promotion of homosexual perverts to be cardinals.... to his acceptance of politicians who promote abortion...... to his surrender to the Chinese government to let them control the Chucch in China....to his attacks on fundamental precepts of the church this Anti-Pope has been the tool of Satan. There are many other members of the Church who are aware of the danger and who are speaking out. I can only pray that the situation will change sooner rather than later.
The Church will endure. However we are under an almost unprecedented attack from Muslims, atheists and other bitter enemies of Jesus Christ. We do not have a leader. We need someone to step forward. 

Nancy Pelosi says something

You're not expected to watch the video. Why would you want to?

I'm seeing elsewhere apparently Democrats are televising a hearing with Barr that didn't happen. Imagining themselves Seinfeld putting on a show about nothing.  They're putting on a show for their own entertainment. The whole thing was intended for show, and with or without Barr they will have their show. Problem is, they're crap at putting on shows. Their plan backfires. Their backup plan backfires. 

A Democrat brought in a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken along with a ceramic or glass sculpture of a chicken such as one has in as kitchen decoration to stand in for Barr. Oh, how they laughed and laughed. That was their show. That's far as their imagination takes them. Trying to demonstrate that Barr is a chicken for not showing up. Get it? Chicken. Now Nadler is seen hovering his bulk over a bucket of chicken. They imagine this is a good visual, damaging to Barr and not damaging to their whole institution.

Now everyone sees what dummkopfs they are. Terrible at putting on shows, by dummkopfs for dummkopf consumption. You can imagine barrels of howler monkeys throwing poo around in comments sections at places such as The Hill as seen yesterday all saying this great how they stuck it to Barr.

Barr appears to be a dispassionate type in the face of lunacy and judging by his refusal to appear before Nadler who changed the rules to suit Barr's appearance before Nadler's committee, apparently Barr is loathe to brook fools. One can hope but not really expect him to become good and pissed off by Democrat nonsense targeting him the same way they did to Judge Kavanaugh. And failed.

Because Barr's got the goods. Barr has real work ahead of him and it has nothing to do with spending time with goofballs. Investigations are already under way. Teams are already examining predicates to to the previous Trump/Russia collusion investigation that took so long and at such tremendous expense conducted by fierce Trump haters and found nothing worthwhile. Nelly Ohr has already been referred to DOJ for prosecution. 

The House was unable to trap Barr through questioning by lawyers who are not members of Congress, so today they announce Barr already lied to Congress. And now Nancy speaks for over sixteen minutes showing every one of her 79 years, no time to trowel on the makeup having not slept well scheming their next moves. They do appear a bit worried. So naturally they reverse their reality and call Barr a chicken. 

Whom does Nancy Pelosi imagine she's speaking to? I suppose other Democrats who don't mind listening. People who aren't me.


Free Fallin' , ASL

I thought this was going to be 3 minutes of torture (because the rest are so awful) but it's actually pretty good. The song is so slow and words are so basic that it's very good song for beginners to follow. It's all so very ... clear.

Boy, girl, good, bad, free, fall, love, mama, Jesus, America, crazy, horse, boyfriend, long, day, live, freeway, miss, break, heart, valley, shadow, vampire, walk, stand, home, sky, nothing, world.

Do you notice how "Jesus" refers to the holes in his hands?  That's terrible! The word for "bible" is "Jesus book."

"America" is straight fingers of both hands meshed together, moved around in a circle, because that's America, all the people together all around. How quaint. Hold my Coca-Cola while I burst out laughing.

And a bit of spelling. (They skip)

Mulholland, Elvis, Ventura, Reseda.

Very nice choice of song for a final, a sort of senior essay.

Come on. Follow along and see how everything matches. There's two girls doing the same thing so they had to discuss and agree how to do this.

See, when they say "free" with two "F" hand shapes breaking the chains, these chains that bind us, it could also be "freedom," and they could do that same bond breaking motion with two "L" hand shapes for "liberate" or for "liberty" or for "Libertarian Party."

Their free falling is like a spacewalk. They're very good.

We give you both an A.



Medical Marijuana doctors suggest putting weed in your butt

What?

Doctors say this, doctors who prescribe marijuana do, the best way for the body to absorb marijuana is anally.

Does that mean rolling a joint and sticking it up your butt?

No.

It means dissolving cannabis extract in an oil and [putting that in a capsule and sticking the capsule up your butt.] I think. The article at Inverse.com left that crucial part out.

Why be so strange?

Eating it is not that efficient due to gastric acids, and neither is smoking it, actually, plus smoking is obviously dangerous for lungs. Turns out, the rectum is the most efficient manner of absorption. Up to 70% efficiency. However there is less psychoactive effect on the brain, and this is good for people using the drug medicinally.

Buzz kill right there. A small percentage of people, I'm supposing, because that whole "medicinal purpose" is mostly a hoax.

I mean, come on. Ah! Talk to the hand. I'm not even going to argue with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're self-medicating.

Self-medicating the ills of the world. You are the world. Therefore you medicate yourself.

Sounds icky. Do you poop out the capsule, does it drain out into your underwear as you go walking along, or is it completely magically absorbed? How do you push it in there? Does your finger go in too? Is there an applicator involved? Does the gel capsule dissolve as you are filling it? Does oil go on the outside of the capsule too for lubrication to assist insertion? Is this a sexual thing? Is this just another way of being a perv? Is the capsule big? Does it have to be oil? Can I grind marijuana to powder, put that in a capsule and stick that up my butt? Would that powder damage my intestines? Will I need a colonoscopy? Will the colonoscopy doctor go, "Hey! You been sticking marijuana up your butt? Because we get a lot of that lately."

These web pages do not answer the questions they create by offering such scant bizarre facts.

It's a mystery.

I believe I can die now, for I have heard everything. Sticking weed up your butt and it's doctors saying to do this.

You first. Let's get high together. I bet you guys have parties and do this to each other. Do you pay a dominatrix to do this to you? Because I saw a series on Netflix and you guys totally out-perv them. Look, you wrote this crap, I didn't think it up.

We are stardust, we are golden, we are caught in the devil's bargain and we've got to get ourselves back to the ga-ar-den,  we don't need this f'k'n shit.

Chocolate éclairs

Surprise your honey.

And your kids.

Or your grandkids.

Step 1: Go to dentist and have your teeth bleached.

Step 2: Ask your husband if it's okay for you to make pastries.



Know what would really surprise your honey? 

Doing all the dishes. Not leaving a huge mess behind.

Extremely white teeth inside the mouths of old men give me the creeps. Not this guy so much, he's not old, but I just watched a video of Joe Biden.

I really must start showing better judgement in the links that I choose to follow. I know better, but follow through anyway, then hate myself for allowing myself to be so annoyed unnecessarily.

The link went to IOTW Report, a video of Mark Dice commenting on videos of people I purposefully don't watch. It's 3 against 0 so I have no business watching. But I do anyway. And it's worse than all the stuff that already drives me away. 

For you see, I am an innocent and sensitive soul, I don't need this f'k'n shit. 

Mark Dice yells at his viewers, so just shut up. His point is Biden seems physically weak and running out of gas. (That phrasing opens the discussion for jokes.)

Biden dissembles easily as he breathes. Actually easier now, his breathing is unsteady. He's talking about corporations making billions but paying zero taxes. He smiles disingenuously as he speaks about something unhappy. His facial expressions do not match his messaging. This signals he's not feeling what he is saying. 

His mouth says one thing while his face says another. His brilliant white smile is shaped as the Joker, a victim of an industrial chemical accident. His teeth do not match his age. His teeth are not true, his hair is untrue, unsightly plugs covered by implants, the erasure of facial character is false, his smoothened forehead is signaling his visage is false, while his waning voice and his clearly diminishing energy are true. His physical presentation is wholly incongruent. His messaging is a pile of teetering toothpicks. He is not worth the time given listening to him. He will certainly loose.

Robin Roberts with ABC works from shopworn threadbare exhausted memes and tropes, "Trump has a slogan; Make America Great Again, do you have one? "

Trump had a slogan Make America Great Again, now he has revised slogan Keep America Great. Robin would know that if she knew what she was talking about. So she's not worth the time given to listen. 

No to Mark Dice for yelling, no to Biden for constantly misrepresenting and being a loser, no to Robin Roberts for not knowing what she is talking about, and yet here I am watching. 

So I go, "Dude, wtf are you doing watching this video? Go look at something worthwhile. Go check on your plants. See if they're ready to harden outside. Do something lovely. Surprise the women in your life. Make some éclairs. Do anything else, but don't watch this video in which Biden's super white teeth and schizophrenic disconnected Joker smile disconcerts you. 

Family dog

Sew using a Swiss Army knife

Chuck Grassley, "Here's where we are."


Commenters at Diogenes' Middle Finger appreciated this. They say things like "Mic drop." The post is titled "I can't stop laughing, Grassley murdered the media and slowly walked away." 

They always overstate things. Grassley didn't murder the media. They're still alive. And kicking. And screaming. And dissembling, misinforming, propagandizing, agitating, being obnoxious, lowering their own worth.

The jig is up. 

Some people think the phrase is the gig is up.

Both forms can be grammatically correct for different reasons.

It's always a bit surprising when the small words have so many meanings. Then again, in all languages the most common words become the irregulars. That's why you shouldn't balk at all the common words not fitting the pattern. And that makes sense because so many people are using them the most they're bound to be the ones twisted the most, over time they're accepted irregulars, and their irregularity becomes regular.

Jig is a fast dance, it's also a trick. 

So those are two terms that could be the basis of the saying. The dance is up, or the trick is discovered and finished.

Jig is also a device to hold a project in place to be worked on, sawed or drilled such as a miter box,  so the pieces all match and fit together when assembled.

Jig is a spinning lure that wobbles when pulled through the water.

Jig is a device that separated ore or coal from waste material by agitation in water, a gravity separator. 

jigsaw with a thin blade designed for cutting arbitrary curves such as made in jigsaw puzzles with knobs and spaces for knobs in each piece. 

jig or jigging is also a term for truancy.

jig is an undesirable restless on the spot trotting motion of a horse.

* The name of a film
* The name of a band
* The name of children's card game game snip snap snorem
* The goblin protagonist of fantasy novels by Jim C. Hines
* The name of a strategy game published by dubl-Click Software for the Newton MessagePad
* It's an insulting phrase for black people shortened from jigaboo.
* The name of a 1951 hurricane in the Atlantic Ocean
* The name of one of the sectors of Gold Beach during WWII Normandy landings. 
* It's the phonetic for the letter J in the Joint Army/Navy Phonetic Alphabet
* Jig Theater, either dramatic or farce jig, a short comic afterpiece in the playhouses of 16th and17th century England.
* Jig Dog, nickname for Rear Admiral James Ramage, American naval aviator 


Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Indecent bonsai

Some would say all bonsai are indecent.

Apart from that, what would you do? I liked it when he angled it upward. And I thought he would remove more of the green tuffs, anticipating the remaining green to fill out and upward at a new angle.



"Let's see what we have in the roots," jab jab jab jab jab jab jab jab jab jab jab jab jab whack whack whack whack jab jab jab jab jab jab, "no beneficial mycelium." 

Workers, skill level: high

The title says skill level: God

But that a bit overboard. There a million of this type of video on YouTube. People doing things you'd never imagine.

God made the black dude blind so he'd have no idea how handsome he is. Or maybe it was cutting onions at high speed and in great volume that did it. It's a mystery.

I skipped past the one about frogs. Reminded me of high school biology class and I got a little bit light headed.

James Holzhauer, Jeopardy! champion

I was going to post about Holzhauer before, now Jack Hellner with American Thinker does from a different angle. The new angle: Charles Lane with Washington Post thinks feels Jeopardy is no longer any fun because there is too much emphasis on numbers. (He won by $18.00 on Monday.) That's another thing that's odd about Jeopardy! The awards are so paltry for the work the contestants do especially when compared with Wheel of Fortune that comes on right after.

[Notice all Wheel of Fortune contestants have a lovely wife and two or three terrific children. That's a requirement, it appears. I'm waiting for the day a contestant says he has a fat ugly lazy wife and five holy terrors preparing to spend their lives in prison, and that he's considering divorce and abandoning his children.]

Jack Heller's post is about Charles Lane's post being indicative of Washington Post's and of Democrats' in general anti-intellectualism. Heller makes some good points but we don't need Lane writing about Jeopardy! to know that.

I'm not certain it's valid. Denver is liberal, I'm surrounded by liberals, and apart from politics they're all very smart. In fact, a long time ago at a party of artistic types, singers, dancers, musicians, mostly, Jeopardy! was on in the t.v. room. People were playing piano and singing show tunes. All of them knew all of the words to all of the songs in Fiddler on the Roof. When they got to the "tradition" part they all hammed it up. I happened to pass through the room at the moment one young man was giving the questions to Jeopardy! answers. Surprisingly, he swept all the categories. "Did you see this before? Is this a rerun, like Groundhog Day?"

He laughed and said, "No."

I said, "Dude, you swept."

He laughed again and repeated, "Swept." He thought that was funny. Because he did sweep.

And without that you might mistake him for another dopey musician. But you'd be wrong.

Holzhauer, though, is a w-h-o-o-o-l-e 'nuther level.

Here is Holzhaure in a game of a different format. (chosen for its length)

AG William Barr Senate Testimony on Mueller Report

Speaking of ...

(cross contamination)

If you care to -- and who in their right mind would? -- observe how reality is reversed. Nearly any segment will do.

The affect of Russian interference on our election is real but it was also miniscule. But it's made out to be the main thing. The real crimes of government departments weaponized from within and used against political opponents is entirely ignored to favor imaginary crimes. All this for Democrat voters. The report shows there is no evidence, yet it is used as evidence for crimes that do not exist. The examiner steps beyond his function as examiner and adds his own 2¢ where it is not called for, that is not part of his job. That 2¢ is leaked to two propaganda news outfits, NYT and WP and used to demonstrate the AG behaved out of line, when he did not.

I have a better idea.

Instead, read comments to this obnoxious dancing bear show made by people well aware of the granular detail surrounding it. The Last Refuge. Oldest comments are first. It's quite long. Commenters there are more aware than the senators creating the narrative. They are people who've studied literally for years, and see through the production. It's long but not so wearisome as listening to Democrat and Never-Trump Senators.

A sample:

You just fell for the NYT/WaPo trap .

Here is what happened:

1) Mueller gives a report to Barr
2) Barr determines that it will take too much time to redact, so decides to come with a summary of the principal conclusions. That is what he sends to Congress
3) Mueller then writes the letter, because in Barr's letter none of the details are discussed or even summarized. In later discussions Mueller says he agrees with Barr's statement, but he says he wanted at least the summaries of his report to be made public, because now the press is mis-reporting about him.
4) Barr then publishes the entire report including the summaries, but not just the (executive) summaries

So #3 came before # 4, yet they (NYT/WaPo) want you to believe that #3 came AFTER #4 ...

#3 was a comment on #2, not on #2 + #4.

[Actually, the previous commenter did not fall for the trap, but that's irrelevant to the quality of this comment.]

This comment fairly typifies the depth of comprehension and quality throughout. And the discussion does go on for several pages of comments. Compare that quality to such as The Hill, linked by Drudge (Same page, below CNN ratings dive, an article: Fox News legal analyst says Barr 'probably misled lawmakers in prior testimony on Mueller report. The comments, not the article. ) I'm suggesting comparing quality of comments. The Last Refuge to The Hill on the same subject.

Merrill Howard Kalin

This is real.

Through an organization the lad was given airtime for a cooking show. His brother was a teacher at the time and spoke to his students about how great it was that his brother was given a chance to be on t.v. It was a big thing for them. Since then Merrill has passed. All that I got from comments.

Comments to this video are all about cross contamination, the cutting board used to chop salad after chicken was placed on it, but honestly, I think general awareness of this type came after this show was produced. It's a rather old show. It's after this that cooks are seen saying, "Okay, now I'm going to the sink to wash my hands before proceeding." Show after show after show drilling it in ad nauseam. And you're sitting there thinking, "You just now touched the water faucet. You pressed the pump on the liquid soap bottle. So be sure to clean those. Before that after touching the chicken you pinched salt from the little salt well. You touched the haft of the knife. And you touched to bowl and the dishtowel, and you opened the refrigerator and the oven all with your stinking sticky dangerous bacteria-laden chicken-y fingers all over the place. Bleach the whole set with a firehose!"

Merrill speaks lucidly under his breath, "Help me. Get me outta here." He's aware this isn't going as he thought that it would.

I bet that I could have shown Merrill how to make a salad dressing. And I think that because I had up to twenty people at one point over here assembled by Deena to help cater a party for local business owners. They were doing everything, eventually assembled around the extended dining room table making spring rolls. (One girl didn't like mushrooms so she wasn't putting any in hers. She had to be told her preferences are irrelevant. JUST DO IT! Another didn't know to spray oil on the tin foil before baking the little biscuits. Another woman had to be told when to stop stirring the egg yolks into the pâte à choux, yet another grown woman didn't understand "until the bacon is crispy but not burned" she had to be told how long in minutes and seconds)  And although in their twenties they knew zero about cooking and had to be told everything. Every thing. Every little thing. Collectively they had zero intuition. And that's not being critical, that's simply stating a fact. It was actually fun once I realized they were all blank slates. We did very well together. And if I can do that with them, then I could show Merrill something so simple as mixing oil with vinegar.

Merrill is charming. If you allow it.

Moonlight Sonata (3rd movement)

YouTube member Rousseau smoking Beethoven.

Photograph prints

As you know, last year I didn't want to go to my niece's wedding in western Iowa near to Omaha. I made the excuse that it's dangerous for me to fly. Truth is flying just isn't any fun anymore. And planes and people are actually gross. But my family accepted my excuse without any argument. And for reasons of their own, reasons of completeness, I suppose, they really wanted me to be there so my younger brother in California changed his plans for his whole family to fly to Denver instead of flying to Omaha, rent a van in Denver, pick me up, and drive the rest of the way past Omaha to Iowa. And then back.

Damn.

Then I was forced to go. Emotional pressure, innit.

They could have these weddings without me. I wouldn't be missed.

I liked the drive. I liked getting to know my brother's family more intimately. I like my two new nephews. I liked staying at the hotel. And I liked attending the wedding and the reception. And I liked the drive back. I liked all the stops, all the restaurants. I liked the whole experience. And I thoroughly enjoyed all the associated side activities in Denver.

I took hundreds of photos with my Nikon and with my Galaxy phone.

They're very good pictures. If I may say so.

I showed some of them here.

Use that Blogger search box up there ↖︎ [Iowa] if you care to see them.

Now a year has gone by and I see these photo in Photobucket and in Flickr and I think such a shame for them to sit there seen only by me, and unseen by the people who might like them even more than I do.

We share these photos electronically then poof they're gone.

There really is something of value in holding physical copies. Those photo albums really do have their own value. The value of tangible photographs is very real.

That bit at the restaurant will never be re-lived. Truly, that's a once-in-a-lifetime thing. The boy wanted me to play tic-tac-toe, the stupidest game on earth with finite possibilities. I will win every time. I tell the boy he cannot beat me and I will have no mercy just because he's a boy. He will lose every single time. "Come on, Uncle Bo, play with me. Here." He's a persistent little bastard. He shoves the paper my direction and offers a crayon.

"Okay. But every time you lose you have to do ten jumping jacks and repeat, "I'm a little dummkopf, I lose again."

[I wish I had thought of something more positive, but that was spur of the moment.]

The boy lost then flew out of his chair and took position at the side of the table and looking directly at me and laughing, he joyfully performed ten jumping jacks and repeated the phrase with glowing pleasure.

We played again. He lost again. Flew out of the chair again, performed ten jumping jacks again and repeated the assigned phrase again with the precise same glee that he did the first.

We played again. He lost again. Flew out of the ....

We played again. He lost aga ....

We played ....

We ....

We ....

We ...

That kid had me cracking up so hard it was unbelievable. It was simply the most enjoyable thing ever.  There was absolutely nothing negative about losing to tic-tac-toe. The game was just a vehicle for him to play with me and to expend energy.

"Hey! You have to do your jumping jacks properly. No sloppy jumping jacks allowed."

He cleaned up his jumping jacks form. He loved doing jumping jacks and repeating the "I'm a loser" phrase that I assigned him. It was all a great game. There was no losing to it. No losing in tic-tac-toe and no losing to jumping and repeating a "I'm a loser" phrase. There was simply no connection to losing.

You know how kids run around a restaurant expending their limitless energy. This boy's energy is expended right there at our table, right there for me. He didn't bother anyone, yet he fully expended his energy. He was entertaining me. And he was hilarious. I hadn't laughed that hard the whole trip. Pure joy.

Real joy.

And that will never happen again.

He'll never be that age again. He'll never be that non-caring about losing. He'll never be that young, that energetic, that eager, that free of the concept of losing, that free period. Truly, something to lock into memory.

And I have the photographs that bring all that back to mind.

They're blurred.

Oh man, I love these photographs blurred. That's perfect.

So I thought, you know what, I actually have two sets of photographs that two sets of people might really appreciate having.

I leaned how fast, how inexpensive, and how easy this is.

I went through the photographs and pulled out all the photos that would interest my brother and his wife and their two kids.

I ran them through Photoshop to correct their tones and saturation, highlights, shadows and the like. I examined them for cropping.

Uploaded to Walmart photo service.

They allow enlargements of two sizes.

The cost is ridiculously low.

Had them sent to my brother's wife.

(because I want her to feel special)

Chose an album from Amazon.

That was the most difficult part because there are a million different album types.

I imagined them owning the album, I visualized them putting it together. I tried to see them inviting their children to help assemble the book. That's how I chose the album book to send them.

I sent the album book to my brother.

See? They're husband and wife, they have to put the two things together.

They were thrilled with the photos and with the album. I made very good choices all around. I did very well with the enlargements. I had enlarged the very photos they would pick themselves to enlarge. They were very pleased to have the photos. And the photos caused them to recall specific incidents they had forgotten.

We did a lot of things together. Things we wouldn't want to forget. For example, I coaxed the boys to cross a road and climb up a tree at a rest stop to get the boys out of the shop and away from my brother so he could rest for an hour. The photos of the two boys in a tree are a treasure. His wife with me thinking that's a good idea is also a treasure.

They climbed at Red Rocks directly behind a sign that read "no climbing on the rocks"

Come on! That's an amazing photograph.

Dinosaur ridge.

The monkey bars at Washington Park.

The acorn war at Red Oak rest stop. These boys in motion are poetry. And I have the photographs that show it.

The whole family was on the phone telling me how excited they were to have these photographs.

Win.

That whole thing came out much better than I expected.

And I couldn't believe how cheap the whole thing was.

100 headshots in b/w when I was modeling thirty years ago were much more expensive than this. The cost of photographs has gone way down over the decades. Way way down. Now you can get them in all kinds of forms, as posters, on canvas in all sizes, on glass, as puzzles, shower curtains, pillows, t-shirts, on cups, you name it. It's ridiculously inexpensive.

So now a second set of photographs is being printed right now for the wedding itself for my niece. And the same kind of photo album. Different photographs from the same set but centering more on her family, her parents, (my sister), her brothers, their participation in her wedding, the church, the reception, all the people who I don't know that she invited. I don't expect the same reaction from her, but I'm certain she'll be happy to see them suddenly appear in her mailbox from out of the blue. Something to hold in her hands for the rest of her life, that means more to her than it does to me.

NYT announcing their collective antisemitism.

By way of cartoon.

When first shown this cartoon I gave this ten seconds of thought and dismissed it as too poor a cartoon to have any affect whatsoever. It's just stupid. Poorly conceived and poorly executed, as a child trying and failing at making some unworthy political statement. It wasn't worth examination.

But then I saw the cartoon on every site that I visit. And no-one bothers to analyze the cartoon because there is nothing to analyze besides naked vitriol. All the sites agree this is NYT making itself part of a wider liberal overt anti-semitism. That's the subject discussed. How it got published, and the lame response.

The cartoon puzzled me. Why a dachshund? There is nothing in the breed that I know about that links it to Jewish people or to Israel. Bred to flush out badgers. Is that a negative thing? The leash is loose, is the dog leading Trump or is Trump taking the dog for a walk? If the leash was tight then it could be seen the dog is pulling Trump.

But the real Trump that is obvious to all observers isn't pulled anywhere by anyone. To suggest that he's led by Netanyahu is ridiculous. In fact, by observable action, Trump has led the entire western world in its relation with Israel. Moving the US embassy to Jerusalem for example. Other nations followed Trump. Netanyahu did not lead Trump into that move.

If the sunglasses are meant to suggest Trump is blind, then a dog on a leash is not a guide dog. Those dogs uses braces not leashes. A leash would be ineffective. It's like the cartoonist doesn't even know how guide dogs work.

Netanyahu's eyebrows are a bit arched, but arched eyebrows hardly characterize Netanyahu. They're a very poor cartoon indicator. I honestly didn't now who the cartoonist meant to represent. The real clue being in the Magen David on the dog's collar.

Trump is actually quite tall, not so short-legged as a dachshund. To suggest Trump is short is insane.

It is an extremely poor political cartoon especially compared with the veritable mountain of anti-semitic cartoons of the last ninety years. It does not contribute to what we already have. Disgusting as the sentiment, it still generated quite a few serious minded cartoons. The globe wrapped up in an octopus' arms representing Jews for example. The repulsive representations of Jews with large hooked noses. And this theme of a Jewish leader leading a western leader around has already been done. So this cartoon is derived from previous cartoons, the motivating thought unoriginal. It is not an original idea or an original cartoon.

I just totally sucks as a cartoon.  There is zero quality to it.

And there it is. All over the place, all at once. As if it has any importance.


GAWL!

How did that crap cartoon even get published?

Now NYT political cartoons have become as insipid as their crossword puzzles have become. 

I wasn't going to bother mentioning any of this because the cartoon isn't worth mentioning. But then tonight something happened that was terribly similar and I was all, omg, this is one of those convergent bizarre coincidence things happening again, or something. 

I was only outside for ten minutes or less. I had only walked down the street, crossed Broadway, then walked on the other side in the return direction half a block when I encountered a tall thin black man dressed in full black with a very long stick tapping his way with one shoulder leaning heavily away from the street coming my direction. He was having a difficult time walking.

I said, "Hi."

He was concentrating deeply. Negotiating a set of stone planters smack in his way. His stick was not red-tipped, rather, it was white with a tan band at the end. He was so blind that he didn't even know that his walking stick has the wrong color tip to designate him a blind person. In America. 

Maybe he's a foreigner. Maybe foreigners have different color canes for blind people. This was right in front of the hostel. 

No sunglasses. His eyes were really messed up. As if they were gouged, and set into spirals. 

He did not respond to my greeting. 

But the weirdest thing of all, I still can't get over this, he was walking his dog on a loose leash. The tiniest fuzziest little black poodle you ever saw in your life. The same as this stupid ass anti-semitic cartoon. The dog couldn't possibly be a seeing eye dog. Worst seeing eye dog ever! 

He was simply walking his itty bitty dog, no larger than a rat, and using his tapping cane independently. 

That's the thing with blind people, they don't all do the same thing. A blind woman I met at the Shetland Sheepdog obedience training class used a German shepherd guide dog but no tapping cane. She told me the cane slows her down. 

And this tall man who uses his cane but not a seeing eye dog really was rather slow in tapping out those two planters. 


Child's Power Wheels + Makita drill battery


Later in the Twitter thread (click the blue bird to read it) Mama B. says her husband hooked up the Power Wheels to a Makita drill battery.

She also said within minutes her husband was tearing apart his drill. That doesn't make sense because the batteries are separate. No need to tear apart anything. Just use the battery. They clip into the handle. There are usually two batteries so when one needs recharging the second is used, and back and forth they go on the construction project, like these Power Wheels. The kid will wear down the battery in fairly short time boom the second battery is already charged.

What's impressive is how fast the toy car goes. Man, those drills are strong.

If you do click the blue bird and read the thread, then you'll notice ils ne comprennent pas much about batteries. One commenter said her husband used a car battery because they last a lot longer.

Another interjects, you do know that car batteries are recharged by the car's engine.

Yeah. I knew that.