Yet, increasingly it appears that discussing steps women could take to reduce the chances of bad things happening to them is out of bounds in our society. I am here to respectfully suggest that, for all their good intentions, the actions of people concerned about “victim blaming” are ultimately making women less safe.Talking about the likelihood of something awful happening to a woman got ESPN's Steven A. Smith suspended from the highly rated sports network. Here is the video of his talk that got him in trouble... and what have you... failing to put his finger on the problem... and what have you.
Saying that some behaviors make me more vulnerable to assault is simply not the same as saying those behaviors “justify” the person who assaults me. We teach our children not to talk to strangers. Does anyone believe that doing so transfers blame away from the person who commits a crime like kidnapping? Of course not. A person who harms a child is at fault, full stop. Nothing about the child’s behavior changes that. So why is it that telling young women that they can do things to decrease the likelihood of something awful happening to them is viewed as transferring blame from aggressor to victim? (read more via US News & World Report)
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
"Warning Isn't Blame"
"In most facets of life, we understand intuitively that there are things we can do to reduce the likelihood of bad things happening to us. If we lock our doors, we are less likely to have things stolen. If we avoid walking alone late at night in bad parts of town, we are less likely to be mugged. And if we choose whenever possible not to associate with people who have shown themselves to be violent, we are less likely to get hurt."
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47 comments:
ESPN (I only get to see it in waiting rooms and restaurants) is super-PC.
This goes back to the feminuts and the media still kowtows to them.
This doesn't apply just to women.
I frequent places most people don't, as a result of being a musician.
I take steps to minimize my exposure to danger. I pay attention to the way I dress. I don't get drunk in places where I might be risking my life by doing so. Etc.
If you are expecting the world to become perfectly safe for you, you might be waiting a while. (I also don't know why anybody would want to live in a perfectly safe world.)
Stephan A. Smif - he is one inarticulate moron, and why he is allowed on television is beyond me.
Ah... he said "provoke".
He's really hard to listen to, though. I think it's something about the sound quality of the video or my computer that makes it just a little echo-y. So I listened up until "provoke."
I saw a great video yesterday but since it wasn't on You Tube I don't know how to get it posted here. A young woman (girl, I suppose) in a skirt and flats had stopped and was checking her phone in an inside/outside hallway. No doors, just a long passage like it might lead to a subway or coliseum or parking structure. She's tucked around a bright corner, probably so she can see her display.
A man, at least a foot taller than her, comes around the corner, looks around him, and grabs her phone.
He takes all of one step and she's swung her bag at his back and clobbered him. He turns around. There's two seconds of bag-scuffle and then she pushes him back just a little, kicks him in the nuts, grabs the back of his head and smashes his face into her knee, then does a back spinning kick directly to his head. 10 seconds from beginning to end.
Like all real life security camera videos it's hard to see what's happening and she's not graceful, it's more like, "Wait, what? Watch that again."
She grabs her bag and her phone off the floor and runs away. The phone-thief is curled on the floor holding his (undoubtedly) broken face.
So... this does have to do with the video and subject posted.
This girl screwed up.
Oh, her reactions *after* were glorious and an extremely important lesson to the phone-thief about picking the right sort of victims.
And I won't say she *provoked* him, but she was (oh, whatever, I'll use a MMORPG term) *representing* as a victim. She had her head down and her awareness of the world around her essentially turned off. She didn't notice the guy come around the corner. She didn't notice him checking for witnesses. (There were several, just not right next to them.)
Had she been aware of her surroundings she wouldn't have had words over her head identifying herself as easy prey.
This isn't blaming her for his actions. Obviously. And he certainly got what he deserved.
But that doesn't make it untrue that she screwed up.
Maybe this is why people shoot all those holes in the warning signs along the road.
Above all women must not be held responsible for actions that end in harm to them. In other words women must be kept in a childlike state. Why? So that they can be "protected" as they go through life making dangerous mistakes. Protected by who? That's right, by the state. That is holy writ on the Left. And that's why anyone who even hints at a woman being responsible for her actions is attacked, with intent to destroy.
Synova's video.
And I won't say she *provoked* him, but she was (oh, whatever, I'll use a MMORPG term) *representing* as a victim. She had her head down and her awareness of the world around her essentially turned off.
Absolutely true. Her awareness of surroundings was turned off. As Shouting says, being aware and taking precautions isn't just for women. Men need to be on guard as well. That doesn't mean we need to be paranoid or always afraid. Just aware of the possible consequences of your actions and aware of your surroundings.
To teach young women that they are a protected class that can act in anyway they like and that there are no consequences.
I'm not saying blame the victim because no one has the right to rape you or mug you or attack you. However, I do blame the victim for putting themselves needlessly into harms way when simple precautions would likely prevent bad things from happening to you.
DOH....finish my sentence.....To teach young women that they are a protected class that can act in anyway they like and that there are no consequences is to put them into harms way.
Yes, that's the one, Rabel.
The man makes good points. There was no reason for any of this overreaction. PC is ridiculous. Feminism has become ridiculous.
On the one hand women show us their tits to provoke a response. Purposefully sexing themselves up. Pushing up their breasts wearing exceedingly revealing clothing for the purpose of drawing attention to their own breasts. Do this with your cock and see how ridiculous you feel.
Then they look for and find and wear shoes that veritably disable them.
The young woman in Synova's video is wearing flats suitable for a tumble and a run. But so many women hobble around in ridiculous clunky heels they cannot wait to remove because they prefer to look sexy.
Then flaunt apparently expensive jewelry.
Spend hours in front of a mirror making themselves up.
Hold their pocketbooks with their whole lives inside by the thinnest of straps.
They choose to be overtly sexed up, achingly made up, and overtly vulnerable then shame on everyone else for noticing.
An episode of Housewives of _____ demonstrate what I'm on about. They are dressing competitively for other women.
Chip, you are conflating secondary sexual characteristics with genitalia. A not uncommon occurrence, but an incorrect one nonetheless.
The correct response, when feeling uncomfortable around cleavage is to remove one's shirt altogether. Take that! Bam! In your face!
Stephan A. Smif was sent home for suggesting that a drunken woman behaved in a manner that precipitated her being knocked unconscious by a football player, who was probably drunk too.
I could go the "Bitch had it coming" route, but that would make me a Smif apologist, which I am not, or, be true to my own upbringing, values and life experiences, which is - there are other ways to handle drunken bimbos besides rendering them unconscious with your fists.
Of course, being in an elevator limits one's ability to walk away, but still - dude - don't lay a beat down on the retarded alky broad and then marry her - one or the other! Seriously!
Recently I was hiking in the mountains with my girlfriend on a trail miles from civilization in any direction. No roads, no cops, no cell phone signal. That's normal of course out there, so you are on your own. As we were walking along in a deep dark ravine through heavy brush we suddenly came upon a 20-something man alone, no shirt, no pack, hanging out in a spot where you normally would keep moving. We said "Hi" and he was unresponsive and didn't even offer eye contact. It set off my alarms. I immediately picked up our pace and selected a nice rock to carry along. When we got a little distance between us, I made sure my knife was where I could use it quickly, and I was extra vigilant for anyone hiding along the trail. We passed him again later on the return trip, and he hadn't gone far in the interim. He was acting strange for a hiker. It was not until we passed him a third time on the way out that my girlfriend got concerned. Then she asked "so is that why you started carrying that rock way back there?"
I think most women - at least those used to being safe - do not have the same radar and suspicion as most men. I'm 6 ft. 200 lbs, and always concerned about the people around me and their threat, but my girlfriend (blonde, 5'2", 100lbs) usually seems totally unaware of her vulnerability, and attractiveness as a target for predators. I may be a little paranoid, but I think that's the preferable state. Do women just expect that a man will show up to protect them, because that is crazy. We also passed a woman hiking on that trail alone that day, which I would never do if I was a woman. At least have a big dog, and a stun gun. There are some sick assholes out there, and they're not that rare. Tempt them at your own risk.
The problem this commentator is that he was promoted beyond his competence level. The level of his commentary on sports issues is even worse than it is on social issues.
There is a reason he has that gig. It is not because of his ability or competence.
Look, I like S. Smith but he's on ESPN because he's "controversial" and because ESPN has to have x number of black talking-heads.
But he gets in right. Wife-beaters are always in the wrong, but Wives shouldn't provoke violence. Like, y'know hitting, kicking and punching your husband or talking to him in such a way that anyone other man, in the same situation, would take a swing at you.
And of course, the main problem. What the hell does this have to do with Sports? I guess I'm in the minority, but I don't turn on ESPN to listen some Yahoo talking heads discuss racism, sexism, wife-beating, drug laws, gays, etc.
I turn on ESPN to watch Sports. Period.
Isn't it common knowledge that women always want the other thing, so if you give them equality, what did you expect?
Sports, especially football, is increasingly dominated by players getting in trouble with the law.
Not for nothing is it call the National Felons League. All thugs all the time.
And I disagree with the concept of a woman provoking someone to violence - but I have led a sheltered life, that's for sure.
Smith is a no talent douche bag who should be working in a car wash.
You have to realize that when he talks about women it is the same as when he talks about sports. He has no real experience with either.
BTW, I always find this white knight attitude - usually by guys over 55 - really humorous in the 21st century.
Hey I'd never hit a women, I'd just take it like a man. Even if she tried to castrate me, I'd just say in a manly voice, "I cannot accept this", while she was cutting my nuts off.
Yep, admirable old dude.
"You have to realize that when he talks about women it is the same as when he talks about sports. He has no real experience with either."
Sometimes real experience with women doesn't make you more credible about Domestic abuse. CF: Rosie and Alec Baldwin.
Like I said, I have led, and continue to lead a sheltered life.
Once my wife demanded that I tell her where the 12 gauge was located, stating, unequivocally that she "was going to blow my fucking head off".
But I wasn't in an elevator, so I just called the sheriff. He handled it.
Not everyone has that recourse, I understand that.
Also, I try to avoid spending time in close physical proximity with violent psycho hose beasts, but knock yourself out. Let me know how they work out for you, kid.
"Once my wife demanded that I tell her where the 12 gauge was located, stating, unequivocally that she "was going to blow my fucking head off".
I assume divorce proceeding followed.
Oh yeah. And I am grateful every day that my head is still right were I left it.
My heart, however, is still in San Francisco.
No, wait, that's Tony Bennett's.
Everyone is missing the point. Thank God I'm here to enlighten you. One should be aware of their environment, dress appropriately, etc, but Smith was talking about a woman with whom you're having a relationship. Unless you're dating a psycho biker chick or some UFC pro, then violence is not an appropriate response to agita or even physical provocation from your girlfriend. Smith was seeming to suggest that decking your girlfriend if she crosses some boundary is a vable way of handling a domestic dispute.......A man should be aware of his environment and take care to avoid ball busters. Most of them have flashing red signs. To do a double reverse on the blame game, perhaps if you're in a long term relationship with Lucrezia, part of the blame falls on you...... . Domestic tranquility is not always possible, but not punching a woman isn't such a high bar.....I would tell Whoopi that most men are able to negotiate their passage through life without killing puppies or smacking women.
Joe DiMaggio slapped Marilyn around. In his defense, she cheated on him during the honeymoon and he was there for her during some moments of crisis. But still, he was in the wrong for hitting her and in the wrong for thinking he could make it work.
I have met Smith and know people who know him well. They all have said he is a very smart guy. Played college basketball too I think so he is almost as qualified as Trooper to bloviate about who is less qualified to yack about sports.
William, good comments in my opinion . Thank you for your sacrifice in reading here.
Y'know, I lived alone in an attic apartment at the center of a town for seven years. In terms of my non-work life, I walked everywhere, day to night, night to day, but pointedly aware. At the barest minimum, I walked around at night with a big-ass key-collection in one hand and a lighter in the other, ready to smack as hard I could with one and light afire whatever I could with the other.
That is no lie. It is no joke. And while, I suppose, one could find a metaphor there, what I just wrote is the description of what I actually *did*, back in the day.
That is what I did, among other things, to protect myself as I moved freely in my personal life.
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Meanwhile, in my professional life, I daily was driving something like 30-45 minutes each way into another state or two, and so to do the likes of which nowadays no-one here at would respect. Which is OK, really. Time has moved along, and so does respect pass away and on.
Oh we'll if AJ met him then it is all right. I mean why listen to his bullshit to realize he knows jack shit about sports.
He's probably an Eagles fan.
Hey - has anyone here met Greg Oden - the 7' tall moron who just got arrested for punching his former girlfriend in the face?
I wonder what that bitch did that would require a guy that large to assault her, allegedly.
And by wonder, I mean, what kind of hokey bullshit will assholes like Stephan A. Smif come up with to justify yet another case of a giant, yet dumber-than-a-stick "athlete" beating up a normal sized woman.
I'll wait.
And while I am waiting, I will restate - you really shouldn't beat a woman unless she is about to kill you. Or is wearing a hoodie. Then have at it, am I right, sports fans?
As a women, I would never assume that I should be able to attack, hit, strike, kick a man (or any other person) and not expect to be hit back. Physically attacking someone just leaves you open to retaliation.
Most men (and women) are able to restrain themselves from hitting back and can deal with a situation with something other than violence. Most of the time. Sometimes violent responses are your only way OUT of the situation. BUT...you never know who you are dealing with.
Just being a woman does NOT give you some sort of protective shield to protect you from the consequences of your actions. If you want to act like a man and get in somebodies face, don't be surprised when you get treated like a man and get punched.
Here is an example Bouncer trying to keep rowdy people out of the bar. Girl decides to kick him in the nuts. Then (big mistake) she throws a punch at him. What did she THINK was going to happen?
I think there is a difference between domestic violence, which is what these sports cases are, versus random street violence.
Anyone attacking another person on the street should be stopped, by any means necessary.
These big dummies who are making the sports pages need to figure out how to deal with drunken bimbos. Or sober ones. Or maybe they should all just stay sober. I know - as if!
There is no excuse for a 7 foot tall 270 pound guy hitting his former girlfriend. Maybe that is old school or naive, but a guy that large really doesn't have to duke it out, unless she is stabbing him, which in Oden's case, she wasn't.
I think there is a difference between domestic violence, which is what these sports cases are, versus random street violence.
Yes and no. Domestic violence is not acceptable either. It should actually be more preventable than random violence in that spouses know what buttons you can push to really irritate your spouse. Don't do it. Treat each other with respect. Striking each other, throwing things at each other are some things you should never ever do. If you are in a domestic violence situation, manor woman, GET OUT because it isn't going to get any better.
Random violence is really worse because you never know what might set some stranger off or what his/her reactions will be.
However, I can pretty much guarantee that hitting, kicking in the balls and even just mouthing off are going to get you popped in the kisser.
"Don ‘t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash". Goes for men AND women too.
Hey AJ you must really love the fact that you met Smith one time. Good for you buddy. I hope you enjoy his fantastic commentary and unbelievable insights.
Unfortunately I had season tickets to the Knicks, Yankees, Giants and boxing at the Felt Forum from 1981 until 2002.
A lot of money wasted. I went to on an average of three events a week. Plus of course watching a bunch on TV. So I have a pretty good idea of what is going on sports wise. I know what is to be a season ticket holder who lives and dies with his team. Who has to go deep in his pocket to go to the game. And who got priced out with seat licenses and rising prices that have made going to the game a prohibitive expense. So I feel justified in saying that having a douchenozzle like Smith pontificate on TV is a joke. Of course what I think doesn't matter one whit. It shouldn't bother you so much. The guys who I respect like Joe Benigno and Chris Carlin never get the big jobs because they go to people like Smith who check off a bunch of boxes for the human resources departments.
Glad that you love Mr. Smith. He has show with this contempts exactly what a brainiac he is in the whole scheme of things. Maybe Obama can hire him to go to the Middle East or something. He seems to have the same ideas about women that the Muslims do so he might fit right in.
And hey I agree. I will cop to being an asshole but not to being a phony. What you see is what you get. Sometimes it does suck to be me. But no where as much as it does suck to be you.
All the best,
Your pal,
Trooper York
I am finding it difficult to frame this comment in a light-hearted fashion, without drifting off into racial rhetoric, but how is Smif smarter than Trooper?
Smif didn't pay for his tickets.
Okay, if that's the best I can do, that's not saying much.
Smif is an idiot and a prime example of AA AA, and maybe he should be in AA. But I am sure AA loves him, so there is that.
You are absolutely right. I was stupid to pay all that money to go to the games. I mean I had a lot of fun. I have been to a bunch of World Series games and NBA finals and football playoffs and a couple of championship fights. Lots of dough that I should probably spent better elsewhere. Hey I had fun at the time. I was younger and dumber. Well younger anyway.
At any one sporting event there are thousands of knowledgeable fans who know more about their team and their sport than any of the commentators who are paid to proffer the conventional wisdom. Especially the ones on ESPN.
When you get a guy who really knows his stuff most of the sports commenter's like Stephen A. Smith dis them and mock them for their knowledge.
Al Derogatis and Hubie Brown spring to mind as two examples of guys who knew everything about their sports but who were dropped in favor of people like Terry Bradshaw and Charles Barkley.
I knew I wouldn't be able to write that previous comment well.
Oh well.
One time I was in Atlanta. The Braves (RACIST!!!) were in the World Series. Jane Fonda was doing the tomahawk chop. Must have been '91 or thereabouts - I am too lazy to look up the year.
But I had a job, had some money, thought - hey - how often does one get the chance to see a World Series game, am I right?
So I called about tickets. Figured I could spend 300 bucks, even bein' the cheap bastard that I am, and have a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Boy was I shocked - upper reaches of the nosebleed section tickets started at $1,200. I explained that I just wanted to sit in the seat for a while, not take it home with me. $1,200 came the reply. No bargaining, no discounts, no nothin'. Hmm - well, maybe I'll just watch it on tv.
So I get the idea of going to games, spending the money, but these days I am thankful I kept the money. I won't even pop $10 or whatever it is for a Durham Bulls ticket - listening to the game on the radio suits my cheap self much better.
I have been to a few playoff games and they are definitely fun, but not $1000+ fun. I have managed to go without spending a fortune, but watching on TV actually ends up being better a lot of times.
Trooper, If you were a Celtics fan you would have actually have seen some championships. I met Yogi Berra in a hotel lobby and Warren Spahn in a seafood restaurant bar. Now, that's a fucking battery mate! No one better argue baseball w/ me. I have actually met many athletes. So fucking what. Yogi was a mope, Spahn engaging and a great guy w/ kids.
Yogi is so crowded no one is home anymore, or something.
I thought it was crazy that Joe Garagiola, a major league catcher, could never say he was the best player on his block since Yogi Berra was born on the same street.
AJ Lynch said...
I thought it was crazy that Joe Garagiola, a major league catcher, could never say he was the best player on his block since Yogi Berra was born on the same street.
I never even knew Garagiola was a ball player. I thought he was a TV game show host.
Synova's video is fake.
Zero reaction time between the bad guy grabbing her phone and her responding aggressively?
Responds by striking without yelling at him first?
He turns around and lets her hit him without striking back?
He approaches her by widening his legs, almost as if to facilitate a kick to the crotch?
He's stunned by every little action she takes? So much so he can't muster even the slightest defense of himself?
She has the training to throw a spinning back kick but not the sense to not throw a back kick?
He rolls on the ground for 30 seconds?
She's wearing that skirt with those shoes?
Fake.
As for Smith, I saw this video right after seeing the elevator video where the very large man knocked his fiancee out cold and dragged her limp body from the elevator.
"Let's make sure we don't do anything to provoke wrong actions."
So, girls, it's okay to get with these wealthy, powerful sports figures, just make sure you don't do anything to provoke wrong actions, because that messes up the season. Or the next two games, whatever.
Short of her having a knife or gun, there was not even the potential for mitigation here.
That women do need to take responsibility for their own safety should be obvious to anyone not addled by feminist it's-your-fault-if-anything-bad-happens-to-me-ever thinking.
That this common sense applies in any meaningful way here is a stretch. Common sense is "don't date thugs". But that leads to "don't celebrate thugs on TV" and we gotta do that.
I somehow think if I punched a woman to unconsciousness I'd be in jail. And fired. And sued.
By the way, I have been the heavy in many self-defense demos. That's how I recognized those tricks on the metro video. I've done them all.
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