Monday, June 27, 2016
I was young and dumb and sometimes I would join right in. You see there was no interruptions. Grandpa was usually down in his coffin with Sandy Koufax and that little shit Cousin Eddie was running around the neighborhood peeping in windows so it was just a free for all.
I remember several epic nights. There was the time that advertising executive came with his hot French actress wife. Boy was he handsome. Then there was this guy Ken who had really good drugs. I came home to find Aunt Lily cavorting with them after they all came on a bus. But one night I had to draw a line.
You see Aunt Lily had invited her friend Charlie over. He had a long beard and long matted hair and sandals. Sort of like Jesus. But not really. His girlfriends thought he was Jesus though. They followed him around and did whatever he said. He wanted me to be one and move to his ranch with Squeaky and Leslie and Sadie. But I didn't want to because he gave off a weird vibe. I mean I lived with vampires and werewolves but he made me shiver with every new song he delivered. He was always strumming on his guitar. When he wasn't strumming on Aunt Lily's nipples.
This particular night Leslie was there and invited me to go out with her. When I came in they were all naked and smoking pot. Aunt Lily kept posing on a chair while they sketched her. Leslie said she was going to a pig roast out in the canyon. I just got a bad vibe and made an excuse. I went upstairs and packed all of my things and went to the bus station. I had enough.
It was time to move on.