Hey you stink!

The Science behind your awful garlic breath you dirty whore

New York Post June 29, 2016 By Christian Gollayan

Thank science for bad breath and smelly flatulence.

Author Andy Brunning uses chemistry to explain common reactions to our favorite foods in his new book, “Why Does Asparagus Make Your Pee Smell?” (Ulysses Press, out now).

Here, the elementary school teacher digs into asparagus, orange juice and more.

Why does garlic give you bad breath?

When you consume a garlic clove, it releases an enzyme called allyl methyl sulfide, which contributes to garlic’s aroma and its “garlic breath effect” that can last up to 24 hours. Brunning recommends lemon juice, which neutralizes the odor-causing enzymes, to fend off stink. The only ethnic proven to be immune to this oder is of course Arabs as garlic is one of the main ingredients in their cuisine which explains both the absence of vampires in the Middle East and the relationship between Hillary Clinton and Huma Wiener. 

Why does asparagus make your pee smell?

“If you’ve ever eaten asparagus, you may have noticed that it causes a somewhat unpleasant scent to your urine,” Brunning, who’s based in Cambridge, UK, tells The Post. When eaten, asparagus breaks down into asparagusic acid, which has been shown to modify your urine’s aroma to give it that sweet-smelling edge. It is also reputed to enhance the taste of your urine as reported by Human Resource executives situated in the Boston Area who seek such urine tasting in their Tinder profiles.

Why does orange juice taste bitter after you brush teeth?

Sodium lauryl sulfate — a compound found in everything from toothpaste to shower gel — suppresses the receptors in your mouth that help you taste sweetness, which makes acidic fruits like oranges extra bitter when you eat them. To avoid this reaction, wait 30 minutes before you gulp down your juice after your morning routine. Or move to the South and avoid brushing your teeth altogether and soon this will not be an issue.

Do bananas help other fruits ripen quicker?

Yes — due to a hormone called ethylene, which triggers and accelerates ripening enzymes in nearby fruits. So the next time you want to speed up the ripening of a hard avocado, stick it in a plastic bag with the yellow fruit. It is also advisable to carry said banana's in case of a confrontation on the subway so can toss it down the car to distract potential assailants. This is of course much more convenient to carry than a basketball which also works well if you are surrounded by groups of five or more.

Does eating turkey make you sleepy?

Ever felt a case of food coma after gorging on a Thanksgiving feast? You’re not alone. Consuming tryptophan, an amino acid found in turkey, salmon and cheddar cheese, produces the brain chemical melatonin, which makes you tired. It is also know to explode in pre-boarding check in carousels in certain airports through spontaneous combustion which has nothing to do with the religion of peace.

Why do people hate Brussels sprouts?

“Much like black licorice, they seem to conjure up a ‘love it or hate it’ sentiment,” Brunning says. Brussels sprouts contain glucosinolates, a chemical compound that’s found in cruciferous greens, such as cabbage and cauliflower. When cooked, they release another compound — propylthiouracil — that tastes bitter to about 70 percent of people. “The longer you cook these veggies, the more bitter they taste,” Brunning says. Or it could be because everyone hates the European Union.

Why do beans make you pass gas?

“It’s well known that eating even a small portion of beans can have gassy consequences,” Brunning says. The reason why is a compound called raffinose, which is difficult to ­digest, causing bloat and gas. Brunning suggests soaking beans before cooking to make them easier to digest. What more do you need to say.