Monday, June 27, 2016

Marilyn's Diary

Aunt Lily really stated to lose it after Uncle Herman left us. She was always a night owl and she always had many gentlemen callers. They had an open marriage after all because you can lose the magic if you have been married for 571 years.  So it wasn't unusual for me to come home after a date at the diner where we had milkshakes to find Aunt Lily entertaining friends in a sort of risqué way. Well to tell the truth....she would be having an orgy.

I was young and dumb and sometimes I would join right in. You see there was no interruptions. Grandpa was usually down in his coffin with Sandy Koufax and that little shit Cousin Eddie was running around the neighborhood peeping in windows so it was just a free  for all.

I remember several epic nights. There was the time that advertising executive came with his hot French actress wife. Boy was he handsome. Then there was this guy Ken who had really good drugs. I came home to find Aunt Lily cavorting with them after they all came on a bus. But one night I had to draw a line.

You see Aunt Lily had invited her friend Charlie over. He had a long beard and long matted hair and sandals. Sort of like Jesus. But not really. His girlfriends thought he was Jesus though. They followed him around and did whatever he said. He wanted me to be one and move to his ranch with Squeaky and Leslie and Sadie. But I didn't want to because he gave off a weird vibe. I mean I lived with vampires and werewolves but he made me shiver with every new song he delivered. He was always strumming on his guitar. When he wasn't strumming on Aunt Lily's nipples.

This particular night Leslie was there and invited me to go out with her. When I came in they were all naked and smoking pot. Aunt Lily kept posing on a chair while they sketched her. Leslie said she was going to a pig roast out in the canyon. I just got a bad vibe and made an excuse. I went upstairs and packed all of my things and went to the bus station. I had enough.

It was time to move on.


edutcher said...

Bad news on the doorstep was the day the music died, that's why February made her shiver.

August made her shiver because it marked the day the hippies (and peace and love and all the rest of the phony Commie-directed stuff) died.

Ah, yes, I remember it well. I turned 21.

ricpic said...

Are muscular women good in bed?

edutcher said...

Find a nurse and find out.

Methadras said...

ricpic said...

Are muscular women good in bed?

Oh hell yeah.

virgil xenophon said...

Muscular women? Got squeeze pinned mid-air in mid-stroke doing it the "missionary" way by a Brit Bird in London once, circa 1970. I was thoroughly impressed and/or alarmed. (take your pick) She had a bad smokers cough,tho, so couldn't go that route more than once.

Trooper York said...

Dude! You needed a Brexit strategy long before it was popular!