My mother recently passed away. She was 82. I wrote about her back here.
The day after she passed away Allen -- my stepfather who is 90 years old -- and I went to his church to speak with his pastor about my mother, as she would be leading the funeral service. She asked us both to share memories of her which we tearfully managed to do.
My mother had expressed a wish to have the 23rd Psalm read in her service. We pondered its meaning. The pastor wanted additional Scripture and out of nowhere I recalled reading a marked passage in a Bible as a kid. What's odd is that the 40 year-old-memory came from nowhere -- I said it was something about "not storing treasures up on earth." It was an admonition I thought. The pastor instantly recognized it as Gospel, probably from Matthew or Luke. I googled it on my phone as she reached for a Bible. Turns out it was from the Sermon on the Mount. Not being sure of which passages, we left it at that.
The pastor was taking notes like a stenographer as Allen I took turns letting memories go. He recounted the beautiful story of their meeting as widow and widower -- which I had never heard. I suggested that one meaning of my mother's life was in bringing families together -- as if to mend her own as a child. Afterwards we went back to Allen and my mother's home. He was amazed and intrigued with my 40 year old memory of my mother having had an old Bible. He rummaged around and he found the Bible which turned out to be an old KJV and handed it to me. I found three verses check marked (not underlined as I misremembered). They were Matthew 6:19-21:
I wanted to stand and read those verses at her funeral but I didn’t think that I could do so without becoming overly emotional. In addition, I feared that it might look odd to do so without context and explaining to the Congregation would surely do so [choke me up] as it does even to write this now. But there must be something profound about the particular meaning of those words to my mother. As far as I can tell, those are the only words which she marked in the whole Bible. I emailed the pastor, asking her to read them at the service in my place. An explanation would not be needed; I do think that the verses are relevant to her life.
In addition to the marked passages in that Bible, there was a folded single sheet of paper with the words to an old gospel song called “In The Garden.” That was not there 40 years ago. Apparently, the lyrics meant something to her and she tucked that in there sometime afterwards. I didn’t know the song and had to google it. I asked if it would it be possible for the soloist to do that song in addition to two others that my mother had requested.
It was a wonderful service to cap her wonderful life.
14 comments:
Thanks for sharing that story, CL. That is powerful - there are some great truths stored in those words. Thanks also for reminding me of that hymn - it's been a while but we used to sing that one.
I think I just got something in my eye...
I'm so sorry for your loss. I offered a prayer for her and for you and your family.
Peace be with you. Thank you for sharing so much of your mother with us!
I wrote What's odd is that the 40 year-old-memory came from nowhere.
I don't know why I wrote that. The scientific explanation is that the juxtaposition of needing Scripture and my mother's death triggered it. The spiritual explanation is that it was inspired.
Thanks all!
Everyone knows 23rd Psalm, no?
That one is drilled in from an early age. And your whole life it has very little meaning. Until you are there.
I want to tell you something that you might not know. It's w-a-a-a-a-y mental.
And maybe you do know.
When I listen to atheist banging on a part of me relates to them for that part is focused supremely on the material world to the exclusion of everything else. That focus is what makes us so outstanding.
When a person is dying their mental life shifts from extraordinarily acute focus on the material world that excludes everything else with extreme prejudice, to more sensitivity to non physical reality. Dreams tend to blend seamlessly into hard material life, extra material presence become palpable, conversations with invisible others are perceived as something other than two parts of one's own self. An opening occurs that allows spiritual truth to flow inward. Silence and solitude is filled with spiritual companionship.
It takes silence. And solitude.
For example: A female professor isolated herself for the purpose of studying female roles during medieval period. Her work was 'outside the castle wall' for a very long period. Drudge work. Water carrying mostly. Back and forth to the river carrying water back to her hovel for various daily duties, cooking and cleaning and so forth. Her mind reverted to songs. Over and over she sang the same songs to herself. Her scientific mind filled in the empty spaces to prevent intense boredom. Every little thing held meaning beyond the surface meaning explained easily by material hard science. She was never bored. Her mind made sure of that by opening itself to spiritual meaning and spiritual occurrence.
One day down at the river getting water as usual a butterfly flitted about touching this, touching that, lifting up, alighting on flowers, one after another, moving erratically toward her. The woman sat there observing the butterfly doing its butterfly business getting closer and closer until finally the butterfly landed on her left shoulder, then lifted up over her head and alit on her right shoulder then flitted off and onto its business, as if the professor was knighted by nature itself through the butterfly down by the river and the woman never felt so close to nature as that, never so part of the earth from which her own life comes and by which she lives, never so close to God, and part of the scene and the professor burst into sobbing tears.
And she, a professor!
Finally, that 23 Psalms has meaning so personally profound it literally brings you to tears. Because honestly you are traversing the valley of death but fear no evil at all for God himself is beside you. Literally beside you. Holding your hand, talking to you throughouit, and telling you everything is alright.
God bless your mother and your family.
Lovely recounting of your memories. May you find comfort in them and in the scripture. So sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss. Great hymn and scripture to reflect on.
So sorry about your loss, chick. My condolences.
You sound like you are processing this as well as one can. You mom is at peace. It is the living who suffer. You are a good son.
Sorry about your mom Chick.
I am sorry for your loss.
CL:
My deepest condolences Buddy. It sounds like you were a very good son and I bet she was happy about that.
AJ
Chick I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I have been away from the computer for days and did not know.
My prayers go out to you and your family.
Just know that she was loved and your example of being a loving father and husband is a tribute to what she taught you and the man you came to be under her loving care.
I will continue to have you and her in my prayers.
I'm just seeing this and so sorry for your loss.
Your Mom is with you in spirit (inspiration!) and always has been.
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