Saturday, August 3, 2019

Epicurious: Mustard



Brandon Collins didn't tell us that mustard plant is in the Brassicaceae family along with horseradish and wasabi. Along with broccoli and cabbage. 

I thought the point of whole mustard was to break open the seeds but not process them all to powder. I thought it was a mixture of powder and broken seeds. His sample of entirely whole seeds surprised me.

You can buy two types of seeds from the economy bins at Whole Foods; yellow and brown. You can buy them both as seeds and as powder. 

I learned by happy accident that you can make your own mustard quite easily by mixing those things in combination to your heart's desire with vinegar. And when you feel that you've added enough vinegar then switch to water until you get the viscosity you want. It's tricky because it keeps absorbing more and more as you go. 




It's outstanding. And I mean it. 

I recommend small batches because it becomes less outstanding the older it gets. 

One time I made a batch of thick salted pretzels and took them to a neighborhood shop. The place sells medical marijuana (yeah right) and the kids are always up for free food. The young man behind the counter goes, "Great! Now all we need is mustard" just as I was reaching into my backpack to produce a tiny jar of homemade mustard. That was the whole point of making the pretzels. 

I go, "Viola!" (The instrument) "I meant to say, "Voila!" (the expletive.) Yeah. I'm just that funny.

They went nuts over the mustard. And that reaffirmed my own opinion. 

I used rice vinegar because it's less vinegary. 

But yesterday I rubbed cider vinegar on my face to cure face-dandruff and some touched my lips and I must say it tasted delightful. That would make a slightly more fruity mustard. 











They raved. The jar is small enough they can just keep it. I'm being honest here, it's the best mustard that I've ever tasted. I'm not a mustard aficionado but to me and to them this tasted great. And it's no trouble at all to make. And it is fun. 

So all that French bragging about using their super special unique water and using their perfect wine and only the finest mustard seeds is all pure horse crap. 

Canada and America produce something like 90% of the world's mustard. They grow mustard in France but they import most of their mustard seeds from us. Suck it, France. Anybody can do this. It's easy as pie. American pie. 

8 comments:

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

And now there is mustard ice cream.

ColoradoJim said...

My favorite mustard would be the hot Chinese mustard. Looking up the heat in Chinese mustard says just ground brown mustard and water for the most heat. Adding oil reduces the heat. So I’m sure I would like your version. I like it really strong that causes your back to shudder and your eyes water and your nose to feel cleared up. Ditto for horseradish.

Chip Ahoy said...

You can grow mustard plants easily. Those tiny seeds germinate quickly and they grow very quickly into gigantic leaves. (I've never allowed them to bolt, just harvested the leaves, so I don't know about harvesting the seeds for mustard condiment.)

Horseradish is equally easy to grow. Just plant the tuber-root that you buy in the grocery store. My dad always wanted to grow it himself, so he did that. It took over the entire side of his house, then he was out there with the tiller trying to get out every trace of the root. (He had a psychological problem with success. He just couldn't stand success sometimes.)

Wasabi is more difficult. It requires continuously running clear water. So you need a tiered setup with a pump. Perhaps a backyard koi pond with a hill made from digging the hole. Plant the wasabi root along tiers so it flows across back and forth back to the pond.

You can also buy a setup for a greenhouse. It's a mountain plant that grows along mountain streams. That's the condition you have to replicate in order for it to grow. A hydroponic setup. But then you're in the wasabi business.

It's actually a bit milder than horseradish. The green powder that we buy is made from American horseradish and dyed green usually with spinach and it's more harsh than real wasabi root that you scrape. (I know this because I paid a small fortune for some of the real stuff. It's shelf life is low. And you can put it on anything including pizza. It's much better tasting than the stuff we've become accustomed. You can look at the ingredients label on the tin of wasabi that you buy and see that it's actually horseradish.

ricpic said...

Believe it or not Consumer Reports gives a high (though not top) rating to Gulden's yellow mustard.

chickelit said...

I made 72 deviled eggs (3 dozen split in half) for my mom's funeral luncheon, using her old recipe. I key ingredient is powered mustard. Everyone of those eggs was eaten.

ColoradoJim said...

Horseradish is also extremely drought tolerant. My parents had some that survived for years without any watering out in a field in Southeast Colorado with just what came from the sky during a drought that lasted many years. You can also eat the green leaves from it but really only when they are very young as they get very bitter at a larger size.

ndspinelli said...

Deviled eggs are like healthy crack.

ndspinelli said...

I just pop them whole info my pie hole.