Sunday, August 25, 2019

Working breakfast: President Trump and Prime Minister Johnson

Okay, who is doing the work? The breakfast or the principal participants?

The service people who made the breakfast and presented it and cleaned up the mess.

The breakfast didn't do anything except get eaten.

The principal participants were all just blabbity-blab blab blab.

Except it's all blabbery with severe consequence.

* They talk about dinner the night before in which they covered three subjects.
* Trump: they won't have an anchor around their ankle for trade.
* Johnson: wants cabotage for British freight ships from New York to Boston.

Goodie gumdrops a new word: cabotage: transportation of people and goods between ports within the same country.

* Trump: I was stymied. Now we're not.
* Johnson: we don't sell lamb or beef or pork pies in the US.
* Trump: we had a discussion about Putin
* Trump: allies have not pressured me to end trade war with China. Has 2nd thoughts about everything.
* Trump: I could declare national emergency on China.
* Trump: I'm not concerned about market reaction to tariffs.
* Johnson: We're in favor of dialing it down a bit.
* Johnson: There is unanimity that the NHS is off the table.
* Trump: We've close to a trade deal with Japan.



Bonus: Trade deal with Japan.

President Trump and Prime Minister Abe announce trade deal agreement.

* Trump: Japan will buy all the American corn that China does not. 

Abe: We make corn fritters, corn cake, corn bread, polenta, corn breading, corn bread stuffing, ground corn for pizza dough, corn in noodles, ground corn for chicken breading, corn on cob, corn and peas, we treat it with lye for hominy and grind that to make corn tamales,  corn soup, corn in oyster stew, corn in salads, ground corn to replace panko, corn syrup, corn for livestock, corn stalks for flower arrangements, corn for roof thatching, corn silk for paper and fabrics, corn for decorations, corn leaves to wrap tamales, corn for beads, popcorn, various flavored popcorn balls, corn kernels and popped corn to toss at weddings, popped corn to stuff packages, ground dried corn kernels for chicken feed, corn necklaces, corn to feed pigeons, popcorn stringers, we make ethanol from corn. (Maybe I made up some of this part.)

We have intense negotiations. We reached agreement on trade. We're going to UN General Assembly and we'll have a summit. Our teams are working on the wording in trade agreements.

Trump: Corn, corn, corny-corn-corn-corn. Corn all over the place. Mountains of corn. Farmers are happy. Farmers have big smiles. Farmers laugh all the time. Farmers love Trump. Say, Prime Minister Abe, why don't talk more about corn? 

Abe: Okay. Corny-corn-corn dogs. Corn pancakes. Corn pie crusts. Candy corn. Corn powder, Corn soap and corn soda pop. Japan should get first dibs on American corn. 

Ambassador Lighthizer: We agree on core principles; agriculture, industrial tariffs, and digital trade. Beef, pork, wheat, diary, wine, ethanol, are affected. Reduction in tariffs and non-tariff barriers across the board. 

Minister Motegi to Minister Abe: US is largest economy in the world. Japan is third. ))) puff (((

Lighthizer: Auto tariffs are not discussed. 

Trump: It depends on if you're talking about China or Japan.

Q: I'm talking about both.

Trump:  They stay the same with China and with Japan they stay the same.  Wheat. Corn. Massive, Yuge

[But you just said it depends on which country I'm talki ... oh forget it.]

Q: About Iran ...

Trump: Shut up.



Bonus Bonus.

Bilateral meeting: President Trump and some guy named Justin from Canada.

Prime Minister Trudeau: Gurgly goo goo goop glob nerf-dip impokia. Delidium ent mindas fortutemus den screntem undacious. Lo tow tok en dit. 

Trump: We're going to expand trade like you won't even believe. Farmers are pissing their pants from excitement. So even laundry and pants and underwear businesses are doing great. Everyone loves it. Democrats love it, Republicans love it. America's enemies love it. God loves it. Satan loves it. Senators love it. Representatives love it. Canadian parliament loves it. Parliamentarian liberals love it and parliamentarian Tories love it, the greens love it. The French Canadians love it, the French English love it and Canadian native people all love it. Immigrants love it. Muslims love it. Everyone loves it so much that that they're squeezing it to pieces. They're squeezing its guts out they love it so much. Why are we even doing this? Thank you very much.

2 comments:

edutcher said...

These are gang press conferences where everybody addresses their own issues, but it's nice to see Trump so enthused going into next year.

Too bad the Demos aren't even in a position to sing Shut Up And Deal.

chickelit said...

Cabotage

I can't stand it, I know you planned it
I'mma set it straight, this Watergate
I can't stand rockin' when I'm in here
'Cause your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear
So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fuckin' thorn in my side
Oh my god, it's a mirage
I'm tellin' y'all, it's cabotage

So, so, so, so listen up, 'cause you can't say nothin'
You'll shut me down with a push of your button
But, yo, I'm out and I'm gone
I'll tell you now, I keep it on and on
'Cause what you see, you might not get
And we can bet, so don't you get souped yet
Scheming on a thing, that's a mirage
I'm trying to tell you now, it's cabotage

Why
Our backs are now against the wall
Listen all y'all, it's a cabotage
Listen all y'all, it's a cabotage
Listen all…