I thought he would be really down about that. First, he is vain. Second, he flat cannot handle mortality. He cannot believe that he's old, and life itself is convincing him the hard way irrespective of his belief. Oh cruel world. Rage against the machine.
I also had no idea what they are.
I thought it was like a box that you wear on your chest like an old fashion hearing aid, except with a wire that goes inside your chest to deliver tiny electric shocks to keep the heart going like a motor. And that would be such a bummer.
But now they go inside your chest.
And now they're quite small. The size of a bullet.
And they don't go through your chest. Instead, they go through your groin.
Etai-y-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.
Man, oh man, the things they come up with. I swear. They just want to see peoples' penis and test tickles. 'Cause they're always digging around down there when you're out. Who would even think to insert something into your heart by poking a hole in your groin? This is Norman Mailer territory. I cringe at the thought of it.
As for attitude, it's been long time since I've heard him this cheerful.
I think that's because he's been down for so long due to irregularity with his heart, and now he has an answer for the problems he's been dealing with and now he has a solution. Now he can see that he's fortunate to have life. That these things can be dealt with. It's a marvel. A true marvel. He is experiencing something marvelous.
Looks like this: [medtronic micra pacesetter]
It's a one-day deal. Overnight hospitalization, is what he was told.
If a thing like that can change your life, who wouldn't be for it?
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Think about women, they get what color their hair really is.
Among other things.
If anatomy teaches one anything, it is that it is best to use the body's natural pathways rather than slicing and dicing to create manmade ones. The largest blood vessel is the aorta, and it descends then divides and is quite near the surface near one's hips. How do I know such things? Because mine was cut into in order to inject dye to determine whether or not I had arterial blockages prior to having my mitral valve worked on. Two things I learned during that procedure - that dye burns as it courses through your veins and it only takes two heart beats to move blood from your heart to your farthest extremities. Who knew?
Anyway, my coronary arteries were clear, at least they were in 2005, and so they opted to do keyhole surgery on my heart rather than crack my chest open. Of all the incisions made during that operation the one that caused the most pain for the longest time was the one done for testing. Go figure.
"...he flat cannot handle mortality."
Who can?
Marvel and mortality are our traveling companions.
The two-beat story taps both.
I have a pacemaker Chip. It saved my life.
Everyone in my family on the Irish side diet at 57. My Dad. My Grandfather. My Uncles. Two out of four Aunts.
The Doctor who put it in told me if I had come to him fifteen years ago with my problem there was nothing to do with it. But the pacemaker saved my life.
I also have a built in defibrillator. To shock my heart if I go into fatal arrhythmia again. The combo of pacemaker/defibrillator is a medical miracle.
We all bitch about health care but it is still amazing what is par for the course in saving lives these days.
I don't bitch about health care, I do bitch about socialized medicine and government control of access to insurance. Big difference.
And also, shut up, you big dummy. Did I say that right?
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