College students do not vote absentee because they do not know where to buy stamps

The story is from Fairfax Virginia, first seen on Lucianne then on Instapundit, but honestly, it's too cute to believe.

Just file this one under "O" for oldsters find another way to defame youngsters.

“One thing that came up, which I had heard from my own kids but I thought they were just nerdy, was that the students will go through the process of applying for a mail-in absentee ballot, they will fill out the ballot, and then, they don’t know where to get stamps,” Lisa Connors with the Fairfax County Office of Public Affairs said.

Nonsense. The tell: nerds are actually clever; math nerds, computer nerds, gamer nerds, etc. Nerd is not a synonym for dummkopf.

A child, any child's first impulse to locating a place to buy postage stamps would be ask the internet, "where to buy postage stamps" and every adult should know that about children. But this writer doesn't. Fake-ass news with the smell of ass.

The answer will be U.S. Postal service, and they'd have stamps in the mail within days. [usps.com] Boom day id iz.

This is unbelievably stupid. It's foolish denigration of our precious precocious brilliant delightful children.

The writer goes on to say the process of filling out the form, giving the home address of the place where they're registered to vote, is very confusing.

No, it is not very confusing. You use the address of the place where you are registered. Simple as that.  The woman had to answer a few sensible questions like "where do I buy stamps" and "which address should I use?" and then she writes an article about how stupid young people are, characterizing an entire generation over a few simple straightforward questions. And that's rather stupid.

I'm curious. Did oldsters fall for this b.s.? The article does not accept comments. Let's go back to Lucianne and read those, and then look at comments at Instapundit. What did old people say about this?

Lucianne:

* Arizona doesn't require stamps.

* I guarantee you, conservative students know where to buy stamps.

* A coworker mentioned 30-something person said most people her age don't know how to address and envelope much less where to buy stamps.

* Don't tell them, probably Democrats.

* Life skills not taught in publik skools.

* Is this the Onion?

* College is babysitting service for retarded offspring of wealthy

* Boxes of rocks attending school, Hopeless

* Intimidating, 4 ways the stamp could be put on a letter, and some have flags.

(Wrong, there are infinite ways to put a stamp on a letter. Front, back, anywhere not just the corners, used to seal the flap, any angle, even taped on with the glue side up. Barely attached to an edge like the tail of a kite. That's how dense old people are, no imagination.)

* Whoa, can't I just scan this and email it back to the recorder?

* Extent of inexperience is not known. Liberals know their way around rules. Many cast votes in home state and second vote locally. Oberlin chartered busses to take students to the county Board of Elections for both Obama presidential elections.

* As student, I was surprised how many students didn't know how to write a check or balance a checkbook. Taught several how to cook basic meals.

* College students are indoctrinated to be dumber than dirt.

* If you're not smart enough to buy a stamp then you're not smart enough to vote.

And so on. Comments continue. This piece got more reaction than I expected. They fell for it. Nobody questioned the veracity of the article. Nobody asked any kids how to buy stamps.

Worse, the oldsters actually go to the Post Office and wait in line to buy stamps when they could have them mailed directly. What a bunch of f'k'n rheeeeeeee-tards imagining they're smarter than kids.

Let's go back to Instapundit and read a few commenters there.

* probably ate the stamps when they ran out of Tide pods

* Too stupid or too lazy to get fracking postage stamp have no business voting.

* Wow. I've never used snail mail. Where do I buy those stamp thingies? Yet we allow these young geniuses to vote.

* My son called frantic about not sending a Mother's Day card the day Saturday before, asking if it will still get there. Doesn't know how postal system works.

* I'm very tempted to call BS on this article.

DING DING DING

Finally. We have a winner.

They continue with "government charge related to voting cannot be assessed to  the voter. Therefor postage is free.

[Never needed postage for voting in Denver. Nor for any other government-related correspondence]

Continuing: they travel a lot and Texas ballots always come "no stamp required"

* In Missouri the signature has to be notarized.

* Too clueless to buy stamps, too clueless to vote

[Too clueless to detect bullshit, too clueless to comment, yet here you are]

* Not buying this. For the simple reason that it's easy to print your own postage on-line. I know my kids are reluctant to do anything if they can't do it on-line, and they snail-mail things all the time.

A lot more comments along these same lines. Mostly denigrating the intellectual capacity of young people and denigrating the intellectual capacity of Democrats.

Actually, there are some pretty good comments supporting the cleverness and intelligent dedication of young people.

I was speaking to a young person and realized they don't know who Mao Tse Dung is. Mousy dung? I didn't want my hair thinning on top to grow out like that. The perfect instant visual example useless because she doesn't know who I am talking about.

It occurred to me she has no good reason to know. Why should her precious mind be troubled with that ancient douchebag?

Then later that week I fell for an online test. "If you get 80% of these then your I.Q. is above 130."

Daunting for a regular bloke like myself. Fine. I'll take your little test and become discouraged again at not knowing anything useful.

The first 25 questions or so were like 3rd grade history, Lincoln, Hitler, Stalin, Washington. I couldn't believe how simple the questions were. I thought that was it, then another 25 questions opened and they're simple like that too. Nothing about Civil War generals, nothing about important battles. And worse, nothing about ancient Egypt. GAWL!

I got all 50 right, and another 25 opened up, and I'm all f.y. stupid I.Q. test, you're written for someone much younger. MUCH, MUCH younger. A lot of what we think makes us so smart is actually a function of age. And knowing more than young people do is nothing to brag about because by the time that they're our age then they'll know even more, and they'll know more that is useful.

They are not too stupid to vote on matters important to them. And they know how to buy stamps.