Tuesday, June 27, 2017

"Who Pays on the First Date? No One Knows Anymore, and It’s Really Awkward"

Via Instapundit:  There was a time when Tinesha Zandamela would dig around for her wallet at a first date, anticipating that the guy would insist on paying.

That was before she went out with one who “forgot” his wallet, or the one who requested to split the check 50-50 after eating nearly all the food. Now when the bill arrives, she sits still, not even attempting what some call “the reach.”

“If you reach, you could end up with the entire bill,” said the 23-year-old in Provo, Utah. “No one is going to stop you.”

Love in the time of Tinder is upending an age-old tradition between men and women: that moment when the bill arrives and the woman feints for her wallet—but expects the guy will insist on paying.

(Link to more behind a pay wall)


Leland said...

My daughters always chose going Dutch, which is the simplest solution on the first date. That set the foundation that they could and were willing to pay their share. After that, the rest is a test.

Methadras said...

I always pay on a first date. Not a problem for me to do. Not sure why this became an awkward thing.

Lem said...

I always payed, except for one time when she insisted on paying. We had been going out for awhile by then.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I would have guessed that young people no longer go out on dates.

ricpic said...

If she wants me she's gonna have to pay for me! ha ha ha

AllenS said...

Me. And the 2nd, 3rd... I've always had more money than the lady, so I pay. It's what a man does.

Leland said...

To me, the guy pays. The act shows that he is willing and capable of taking care of her and himself. If that's not get enough for her, count yourself lucky and find another one. If you decide later she's not the right one, count yourself lucky and find another one. If she expects you to take her to an expensive restaurant on the first date and pay the bill; then you should expect her to give great head.

Fr Martin Fox said...

I like the old rules, and I'm sorry to see them go, but they are a package-deal. One reason this is no longer clear, is because nothing is clear anymore. This reminds me of something Glenn Reynolds (aka Instapundit) has said to the effect of, you don't get to keep just the parts you like of the old chivalry.

My suggestion is that on a date, whoever invites for the first date, pays. The first date shouldn't be terribly expensive, that just makes things uncomfortable. The one not paying should say thank you; an actual thank you note is classy.

If subsequent dates follow, the one who tends to be on the receiving end of generosity should seek ways to share the cost: offer dutch-treat, be the one doing the inviting (and paying), offer to fix a meal ("wouldn't a picnic be nice? It's so lovely!"), or find other expedients (e.g., "my great-uncle gave me free tickets to a show..." or "here, I have a bottle of wine.")

Not many want to date a sponge.