Sunday, June 18, 2017

Not the Onion: 'I'm going to hit you in the head'

"... woman named Miracle Crimes tells Springfield cop before allegedly kicking him in groin"
It started with a tray of doughnuts

On May 30, Miracle Crimes allegedy hurled the tray at the assistant manager of the Pride Gas Station on Berkshire Avenue after being told to leave the store, according to the arrest report.

When police arrived, she resisted arrest and threatened to kill the officers before being Tasered and transported to police headquarters. Once there, she kicked an officer in the groin and renewed her threats, the report said.

"I'm going to kill you so call your kids and tell them goodbye," she said, according to the report.

Crimes, 31, of Springfield, was booked on six charges, including two counts of threat to commit a crime (murder), assault and battery on a police officer (foot), and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (doughnut tray).

A seventh charge was added the next day, after Crimes allegedly spit in the face of a court officer before her appearance in Springfield District Court. Her arraignment was eventually postponed to allow Crimes to undergo a 20-day psychiatric evaluation.
via Reddit - Link to more


Trooper York said...

Let me guess?

She's Chinese?




What. Never mind.

ricpic said...

June comes just once a year,
It's too good to be wasted;
So let's have a post from Troop
On shiksas, double breasted.

I have no idea what that means. Who needs's June!

Leland said...

Dutch, Troop, dutch... she's has to be dutch.

Lem said...

I never imagine a doughnut 🍩 tray was a dangerous weapon.

Amartel said...

What's with the nutty names all of a sudden? Some sort of insane social justice thing?

Sixty Grit said...

Nigel Powers had it right when he said "There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch."

Freaky deeky Dutch.

After looking at Miracle's picture I am amazed that she let any donut, much less a tray of them, go to waste.

Amartel said...

Key sentence: "Since her arrest, the department has developed an individual service plan for Crimes and she "is back on track with her meds," the lawyer said."

I've had to deal with a bunch of people like this lately in my practice. Crazies are taking over.

edutcher said...

Guess The Race meets Guess The Medication.

The next must-have app or the next category in the Darwin Awards.