Showing posts with label Batman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Batman. Show all posts

Thursday, May 27, 2021

Same Bat action

 

"Say Bat Girl how are you doing?"

"Great Batman. Can I see what you have between your legs?"

"Oh sure. In fact I can give it to you. I usually let Robin use it but you can have it tonight. Just one thing."

"What's that?"

"When you are finished can you chain it up?"

"Damn Catwoman was right. You are a freak."

Monday, December 21, 2020

Please start staring at my tits

 

"I just don't understand."
"What don't you understand  Robin. These are my tits. You are a red blooded teenage boy. You are supposed to stare at them."
"But Batman says I should only stare straight ahead when we climbing up a building with our Bat ropes. Otherwise it is not polite."
"He just wants you to stare at his ass. Don't you get it. He's a fanoik."
"What?"
"Never mind. I am going to give the Penguin a call. That little freak is always horny."

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

It is not balloon......


"Hey there Bat Freak I wanted to ask you a question."
"What's that Sergeant?"
"I heard your Bat Pole was pretty big. In fact it was the biggest pole on the lot. Now ever since Milton Berle retired I know that's not true. So I thought we might have a measuring contest."
"Sounds groovy. Let me just get rid of the rest of the crew. Meet me hear later. Same bat time. Same bat station."
"Agarn was right. You are a weirdo."

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Can I run for President

"Oh Batman....are you running for President or are you just happy too see me?"
"I am always happy to see you Mrs. Schlafly. Now let me smell your hair."
"Oh Batman you are the best."

Friday, January 17, 2020

Batman is the king of subtext


One of my favorite sites Ace of Spades HQ  has a hilarious compilation of funny comic panels where the words in the panel have a totally different meaning. You should check it out.



It's really hilarious you should check it out.

Monday, September 10, 2018

Holy Hekawis Batman!



"Ugh. Gay man in blue tights scare chickens. Please do not rub against my wariors. Especaily Bald Eagle. Just because he manscapes does not mean anything."
"Well my good fellow. You are mistaken. I am very heteronormal. You need not worry."
"If you no bang Julie Newmar as a Catwoman you no bang her as Indian maiden. You are fooling no one Berdacheman."
"I bet you I can bed one of your squaws before the night is over Chief."
"Fine. We seal bet with old Indian tradition. Pinky swear."
"You bet Chief. Bring me to the girls. Get me some with big tits. But first I have to pinch a loaf. Clouds."
"Pogan me Berdacheman."

Saturday, June 10, 2017

"I'm Batman." "No you are dead." "Oh."

"Hey I was napping and I just woke up. Where am I?"
"Why you are in Heaven silly. Batman is Jesus's favorite show."
"Really? What's this book?"
"It's the Heaven Registry. Saint Peter sent us to have you sign it. Oh. And to have sex with you."
"What? I am not a Muslim. I didn't expect to get Seventy Virgins."
"We ain't virgins silly. That wouldn't be any fun. So sign the register and we can get started. I always wanted to slide down the bat pole."
"Groovy."

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Same Bat Time....

"What is that Red Phone Commissioner Gordon?" 
"That's the Bat Phone. It is the direct line to Batman. Whenever we need him I just pick it up and call him." 
"Why do you need that? Don't you have his phone number? He gave it to me when I met him one night while I was walking my rare clumbers." 
"No I do not have his number and I do not know his secret identity. Do you sir?" 
"Oh I know his secret. Actually it is not all that big a secret. I mean who goes around wearing spandex for crying out loud. It ain't no secret." 
"Bejesus I thought so" 
"Shut up O'Hara." 

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Monday, December 14, 2015

Holy Strip Club Batman!



"Look I don't want to go in there. I think that is what they call a gentleman's club. Those women might be naked. And Robin is too young to be exposed to that. And I am too grossed out. You go in Batgirl."
"You really are a fanook. Chief O'Mara said you were light in the Bat loafers but I didn't believe it. And one more thing."
"Yes Batgirl?"
"Stop staring at Robins Tits you perv. Jeez. Where can a girl go to get felt up around here. I better give the Green Hornets chinaman a call. He is a horny little prick."

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Let me rephrase that!

"Robin will be finally be impressed with what I have between my legs."

"Let me rephrase that."

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Seriously Batman you are going to love it!

"You just have to stop by this bar. It's called the Stonewall. You have a lot of friends there. Or you will make a lot of friends there."
 "Here is one of them now. We call him the first hipster."

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

What if?



What if Batman was straight?

I would still be buying comic books.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Holy Red Tape Batman what is that?

"It is the paper application for this years new enrollment for Obama Care Robin. My insurance with the Justice League was just canceled and I have to get us new insurance. I can't use the website so I will have to do it by hand." 
"Well I know you love to do it by hand Batman." 
"Hey what happens in the Batcave stays in the Batcave."

Monday, March 31, 2014

Batman premiered in 'Detective Comics' 75 years ago today

"Batman’s come a long way since that first appearance in issue #27 of Detective Comics, with a cover date of May of 1939. At that time, the Nazis hadn’t even marched into Poland to unleash World War II. Superhero comics consisted of only a small handful of other characters, the most significant of course being Superman, who made his own entry into pop culture history the previous year in the April-dated first issue of Action Comics. Batman borrowed a great deal from the tradition of the Shadow and Zorro, as well as a few of the early superhero characters like Superman and the Phantom. And there was some influence taken from the feature film The Bat Whispers, too."

"In those early years, Batman was dark and violent, carrying a gun and willing to kill criminals without a second thought. Even after his sidekick, Robin the Boy Wonder, was added to the mix a year later for additional appeal to younger readers, Batman stories remained darker in tone and full of plenty of violence and death. But after several more years, the youthful nature of readership coupled with a great deal of censorship and absurd public hysteria forced the publishers to tone down the violence and resort to increasingly silly plots aimed mostly at child readers."

Picture from a 75 Images Album

Friday, August 23, 2013

The Bad News Bistro

Affleck to star in next Dark Knight film; Cavill's Superman to be aboard.