Sixties Sitcom Subtext Theatre

 "Listen Betty I don't care how much you love animals. I know I was Catwoman but doesn't mean I need you to save my pussy. It is doing just fine on its own. Go away why don't you. Move to Florida. Or move iin with Mitt Romney. That's a pussy you can save."

"And stop staring at my tits."

You know what I say to those who demand I get a booster shot?

 

Bite my wiener.

(How do you think she lasted so long in Hollywood? She really knew how to suck down a wiener. Just sayn')

Marilyn's Diary

After Uncle Herman left us I was adrift. I couldn't stay with my Aunt Lily because she had her own troubles. She was doing a lot of drugs with her weird friends Charley and Squeaky and Tex. It was a crazy scene. I had quit college and needed to get a job. Once again Aunt Lily came through.

She reached out to one of her succubus friends. They had a network you know. They passed knowledge of where to go to suck the essence out of innocents. Most of the time they went to Republican party gatherings. The Democrats always gave them gas.

Anywho one of her friends actually worked in Hollywood. She needed a new personal assistant. I interviewed and she hired me on the spot. I think it was because of my new bra. I was in charge of getting her scripts and making coffee and maintained her schedule. There was only one problem.

She was very handsy. You see she wanted sex all of the time. Her husband Alllan was gay and she couldn't get off. So she was always touching me and rubbing me and asking me what was the Password. Like if I knew it she would stop tweaking my nipples. So I had to quit.

If anyone was going to have nonstop sex with me while pulling on my nipples it would be my Uncle Herman.

I loved my Uncle Herman.

Betty White is a Whore

So many old farts are kicking off these days. John Prine. Al Kaline. Joe Diffe. Tom Dempsy.

But you know who is going strong?

Betty White.

She is going strong singing a song and sucking on a wiener.

That's because Betty White is a whore.