Friday, May 31, 2019

Remaining poised in the face of disorder, or, Comedy techniques in Wes Anderson's filmography


Link

From teddy bears to a whale of a story

Chip's link had this one in the sidebar:


That was funnier than I remember those two back when they were on television.

I just got rained on a bit while walking the dog. Maybe I won't have to water the trees for a couple of days.

Retirement

I'm being officially retired and at the Federal Reserve Bank that amounts to a process that spans months. Today was a crucial point.

I was sent large envelopes of information about retirement benefit packages and another two large envelopes about working out the best medical insurance package.

It is all basically simple. The packages are gigantic because all of it must apply to everyone and to every possibility. There is one page listing available languages that goes on single space line after line  after line full pages front and back. And of course information for deaf.

And blind.

And deaf and blind and Hindu. And pregnant. With quadruplets.

So the packages are for everyone for every possibility, while the portions that apply to me are quite slim.

There is one set of choices to make that stick out.

You basically have to gamble how long you expect to live.

One choice will give you a flat sum.

Another choice will give you a flat sum plus a thousand for after death benefit for someone. Perhaps to help with funeral expenses. Hardly enough to cover a full funeral.

Another choice takes care of a beneficiary for five years. Another for ten years.

Another choice will make a fixed monthly payment for the rest of your life.

Another choice will make a lower monthly payment the rest of your life but with cost of living adjustments.

The last choice is the one that I took because I expect to live a long time and I expect great things to happen in this country. I expect economic growth. Within my remaining lifetime. That is my gamble.

That is, I don't expect another administration like Obama's in which these numbers did not move. Not once. Eight years, no movement. While all years previous to Obama they did move. Considerably. 2% here, 3% there, 5% during a year of inflation, it adds up over time. If you expect to live at least twenty years then you can expect cost of living adjustments to make up for and overtake the difference between the stated starting amounts.

And the buyout amount was so low, for God's sake, are you kidding me? Who would even choose an amount so low knowing that's all that they'll get. Very short sighted to see it paying off a house. That doesn't even make sense.

I'm sorry, Ma'am I don't gamble.

PICK ONE!

Look at me, now I'm a gambling man. First time in my life that I gamble with actual money and it's based on the span of my life.

I bet'cya $10.00 that I picked the wrong one.

I always pick the wrong line at the grocery store checkout. And that's exactly the same thing except different.

That happened a few weeks ago. The three lines were packed. The guy behind me decided to move to the next line. I go, "I'm staying in this one and I bet you I win."

He goes, "It's on."

His line goes "zip."

And my line goes *Teddy Bear Picnic*

The losing grocery store line is the winning retirement payout.

Carpets

Do you want to hear something that's kind of funny?

It's about coincidence.

The hallways here are long and wide. The trash chute is at the end. With so many young people coming and going, moving in, moving out, their friends helping move their plants, and pets, it doesn't take long for the hallway carpets to go to H-E-double carpet beating sticks.

A puppy couldn't hold its water when its owner came home and took it out for a walk, and it let loose in excitement a few feet in front of my apartment door.

Oh Man, I hate that.

I could clean it myself. I have a commercial carpet cleaner, the kind that is rented out, but lately I just don't have the energy to drag that thing out. I'm behind my own housekeeping.

By, like, a month. Maybe six months. It feels like I'm behind a million months. This place hasn't been dusted since the Paleocene.

Someone moved out and left several spills on approach to the elevator splotch splotch splotch like a large watered plant tilted on a two-wheeler bashing into a wall.

Another resident's trash bag leaked while walking to the trash chute leaving a trail of dribbles like a long ugly wet necklace that takes several turns on its way down the hall, like a drunk was swinging his bottle around dripping as he stumbled along.

Upon exiting the trash chute room I encountered a young black dude stepping out for a jog. For some reason this guy likes me a lot. He wants to stop and talk all the time. It is his dog that left the large mark near my door. He's the only person who has a pet back there behind me. I never mentioned that I know he is responsible for making my area such a mess.

Referring to the very long string of dribbles in his area of carpet I said, "Man, this carpet looks ghetto."

He agreed.

"I think I'll say that to Deena."

     "Think that will work?"

"Sure. If I use that exact wording. It will embarrass her for not taking care."

     "Try it. See what happens."

"I will."

The next day the carpets were cleaned. This is a massive job. It takes a team all day to do one floor.

But that was pure coincidence. I hadn't yet said anything to Deena. It was not my doing. But now the guy thinks I have impressive influence to get things done around here.

In a way, I do. But not that. Not this time.

Keep flies out of your house

YouTube [flies pennies water]



There are a million such fly/pennies/water videos on YouTube (possibly ten videos).

Debunked.



How to get rid of flies.

Extremely annoying text video with deplorable music. Speed X2 + mute. It says:

1) Smear honey on a plate
2) Milk / sugar / pepper
3) Homemade flypaper strips. Strips of paper coated with corn syrup
4) Wine placed in a bowl (anything fermented) 
5) Apple cider and vinegar/soap trap.




Talks too much. He says:

1) Fresh lemon poke with cloves
2) Apple cider vinegar and soap trap
3) Heating lemongrass oil
4) Citronella smoke. Camphor oil
5) Cinnamon air fresheners



Bug a Salt, overpriced toy.

Gun laser.

High performance salt. Because. 

A day on Planet Trump

First, Trump is on his way to Colorado Springs to deliver a Commencement address to the USAF Academy whereby as he departs he pauses briefly for one his helicopter pressers to tell the media what he wants them to know, and by way of his wall of noise that out-noises their wall of noise, pick and choose among their questions to tell them again all the things that he wants them to know.

An American prisoner in Turkey is released. The economy is doing well. Employment is the best ever.

He answers questions about the Mueller report, about Mueller's honor, about Russia not helping in getting Trump elected, about the thing that cannot be mentioned but rhymes with peach and mint, about China and tariffs, about Farage and Boris and the incident aboard the USS McCain, Venezuela and Israel and Russia and Iran.

Then something unusual. A reporter asks about China retaliating by restricting rare earth elements and Trump answers glibly, "We're doing very well with China," then steps forward to shake the journalist's hand while remarking, "You've treated me fairly. Thank you. I want to answer a real reporter's question. We're going to answer a real reporter's question, okay?" Then he continues in describing that we had a deal and China broke the deal, further how China subsidizes and the US taxpayer is paying very little of it, and when you look at inflation and you look at pricing, it's gone up very little. He elaborates by reiterating how he sees things happening in China and the problems that they have to cope with and our relation to them.

Notably he tells the reporters that he's working on a statement regarding the border.

Just a little gaggle of reporters on his way to his helicopter in his back yard.

We've seen presidents do this before. This arrangement is not new. But I've never seen a president come and go so much nor manage these pressers so well to his advantage. For Trump this right here is an important tool that he uses frequently and reliably. This is his type of chaos in which he thrives, the type he can control and do that with tremendous ease. We see him as animal trainer correcting and praising. 

The setup used to annoy me. The same way that Twitter is annoying, for their obnoxious chaotic din. But now that I see how Trump uses them, such odd tools, observing how Trump has mastered them, he's changed my opinion of both. 

He's showing how to take sour annoying obnoxious crap and make branded unsweetened organic lemoncrapade. 


Then at the Air Force Academy, a place near and dear to my heart.

This is a truly lovely place to visit. You know right off upon entering that you're in a special place sectioned off from the rest of the world.

It is a garden set up right against the foothills where geologic bumps suddenly turn into mountains. A long straight road takes you from the highway to the campus, an actual Air Force Base but lovelier than most. The road leading in is tree-lined with observable wildlife similar to the road into nearby Garden of the Gods, except surveyor-straight.

My parents grocery shopped there quite a lot. You can get things there that you cannot get elsewhere in Colorado groceries, like haddock.

So I still have the Academy sticker on my dad's truck. Sure, it's an old one, but so what. It means something to me. What does it mean? I don't know. Shut up.

Obviously, you've already seen its cathedral. Everyone has. But in case you forgot.


Is that studly, or what?

See, their posture is so straight and upright. And so is the church. It's actually not that large but it's utterly beautiful for its simplicity. The chapel serves as an all-faith center of worship for cadets and includes Catholic, Protestant, Jewish and Buddhist chapels.

What? No Islamic mosque?

It has an All-Faiths room and a Falcon Circle with their own entrances. The Chapel is capable of holding services in all rooms at once.

You should go there and see it.


These young men are not ordinary. Their lives run along strict lines of study and physical development and moral rectitude, layered responsibility and discipline. 

All the things I rebel against. 

They're like the opposite of me. 

There is never heard a discouraging word and I'm all f that s. I just can't even ...

... be so structured.



He's got to blow off steam.

All that hard work. Regimented. To an extreme degree, and to the point of exhaustion, daily, with no letting up, and he still has to blow off steam.

Good Lord, these people are different.

And there are thousands of them. Different this same way.

You can see why Trump would be eager to go there and shake each person's hand individually. It's an honor for Trump as much as it is for each cadet. 


By way of stark contrast, compare Trump's speech with the speech delivered by Hillary Clinton to graduates of Hunter College in NYC.

Go on. I dare you. I double-dog dare you.

It's a racket. Nobody wants to listen to that crap. Democrat operatives within college administration charge speaking fees as part of education cost to pass along to their own candidates and their own Democrat speakers. Once again, Democrats use institutional capture to pull money from everyone even non-supporters, to aid their own party. And no graduating student wants to hear Hillary's story. They need to hear speakers tell them how to parlay their education to advance their incipient careers. They need talk that uplifts them, strengthens them, builds their confidence, and helps them. They don't need to hear about Hillary's permanently damaged psychology.

Then on Planet Trump Master Chaos delivers on his promise for a "statement' about the border. And, Boy, what a statement. A new tariff policy, actually. And one that sends shockwaves through the Mexican government, in fact, through the entire Mexican civilization.

The statement came fast. Much faster than anticipated, and the tariffs even faster. Trump tells the Mexican president to get busy controlling his own southern border, and stop allowing his nation to be used as pathway to the United States, and do that immediately, or suffer 5% tariffs across the board. Then, in one month 10%, then 15% and so on, until Mexico delivers measurable results.

Pow. Gut punch. Right in the solar plexus.

This was obviously drawn up before he left for Colorado Springs. It was being polished and finished upon his return.

And suddenly you realize, oh, this is what Trump-detractors mean when they say Trump wants to act as dictator. I feel what they feel.

For I am an empath.

Suck it, Losers. Practicality overrides empathy.

Not only will Trump dictate American policy, he'll dictate Mexican policy. And Canadian policy. And Chinese policy. And European policy.

Why not? There is a lot of correcting to do.

He'll shape the entire American economy to the form of his liking. And he'll use the influence of American economy as power over the economies of other nations thus affecting their individual policies. And when he forces their hands, then they'll realize fairness across nations, and the good type of benefit that runs equally in all directions.

Open borders is a Libertarian wet dream of free flow of labor. That is the ideal global situation, but not when that benign transfer amounts to outright invasion and the cost is untenable and born entirely by American taxpayers. Not when it destroys nations. This statement is outstanding. And it applies to other nations as well. Master Chaos is giving voice to the citizens of the world abused by their governments on Planet Trump.

This statement is FDR-level statecraft. George Washington-level executive authority. It surpasses Lincoln who was actually less constrained. Trump adheres to the Constitution. Lincoln changed it. Trump behaves well within the authority given the executive. Lincoln expanded executive authority.

White House Public Pool. 
As everyone knows, the United States of America has been invaded by hundreds of thousands of people coming through Mexico and entering our country illegally. This sustained influx of illegal aliens has profound consequences on every aspect of our national life—overwhelming our schools, overcrowding our hospitals, draining our welfare system, and causing untold amounts of crime. Gang members, smugglers, human traffickers, and illegal drugs and narcotics of all kinds are pouring across the Southern Border and directly into our communities. Thousands of innocent lives are taken every year as a result of this lawless chaos. It must end NOW! 
Mexico’s passive cooperation in allowing this mass incursion constitutes an emergency and extraordinary threat to the national security and economy of the United States. Mexico has very strong immigration laws and could easily halt the illegal flow of migrants, including by returning them to their home countries. Additionally, Mexico could quickly and easily stop illegal aliens from coming through its southern border with Guatemala. 
For decades, the United States has suffered the severe and dangerous consequences of illegal immigration. Sadly, Mexico has allowed this situation to go on for many years, growing only worse with the passage of time. From a safety, national security, military, economic, and humanitarian standpoint, we cannot allow this grave disaster to continue. The current state of affairs is profoundly unfair to the American taxpayer, who bears the extraordinary financial cost imposed by large-scale illegal migration. Even worse is the terrible and preventable loss of human life. Some of the most deadly and vicious gangs on the planet operate just across our border and terrorize innocent communities. 
Mexico must step up and help solve this problem. We welcome people who come to the United States legally, but we cannot allow our laws to be broken and our borders to be violated. For years, Mexico has not treated us fairly—but we are now asserting our rights as a sovereign Nation. 
To address the emergency at the Southern Border, I am invoking the authorities granted to me by the International Emergency Economic Powers Act. Accordingly, starting on June 10, 2019, the United States will impose a 5 percent Tariff on all goods imported from Mexico. If the illegal migration crisis is alleviated through effective actions taken by Mexico, to be determined in our sole discretion and judgment, the Tariffs will be removed. If the crisis persists, however, the Tariffs will be raised to 10 percent on July 1, 2019. Similarly, if Mexico still has not taken action to dramatically reduce or eliminate the number of illegal aliens crossing its territory into the United States, Tariffs will be increased to 15 percent on August 1, 2019, to 20 percent on September 1, 2019, and to 25 percent on October 1, 2019. Tariffs will permanently remain at the 25 percent level unless and until Mexico substantially stops the illegal inflow of aliens coming through its territory. Workers who come to our country through the legal admissions process, including those working on farms, ranches, and in other businesses, will be allowed easy passage. 
If Mexico fails to act, Tariffs will remain at the high level, and companies located in Mexico may start moving back to the United States to make their products and goods. Companies that relocate to the United States will not pay the Tariffs or be affected in any way. 
Over the years, Mexico has made massive amounts of money in its dealings with the United States, and this includes the tremendous number of jobs leaving our country. 
Should Mexico choose not to cooperate on reducing unlawful migration, the sustained imposition of Tariffs will produce a massive return of jobs back to American cities and towns. Remember, our great country has been the “piggy bank” from which everybody wants only to TAKE. The difference is that now we are firmly and forcefully standing up for America’s interests. 
We have confidence that Mexico can and will act swiftly to help the United States stop this long-term, dangerous, and deeply unfair problem. The United States has been very good to Mexico for many years. We are now asking that Mexico immediately do its fair share to stop the use of its territory as a conduit for illegal immigration into our country. 
The cartels and coyotes are having a greater and greater impact on the Mexican side of our Southern Border. This is a dire threat that must be decisively eliminated. Billions of dollars are made, and countless lives are ruined, by these ruthless and merciless criminal organizations. Mexico must bring law and order to its side of the border. 
Democrats in Congress are fully aware of this horrible situation and yet refuse to help in any way, shape, or form. This is a total dereliction of duty. The migrant crisis is a calamity that must now be solved—and can easily be solved—in Congress. Our broken asylum laws, court system, catch-and-release, visa lottery, chain migration, and many other loopholes can all be promptly corrected. When that happens, the measures being announced today can be more readily reduced or removed. 
The United States is a great country that can no longer be exploited due to its foolish and irresponsible immigration laws. For the sake of our people, and for the sake of our future, these horrendous laws must be changed now. 
At the same time, Mexico cannot allow hundreds of thousands of people to pour over its land and into our country—violating the sovereign territory of the United States. If Mexico does not take decisive measures, it will come at a significant price. 
We therefore look forward to, and appreciate, the swift and effective actions that we hope Mexico will immediately install. 
As President of the United States, my highest duty is the defense of the country and its citizens. A nation without borders is not a nation at all. I will not stand by and allow our sovereignty to be eroded, our laws to be trampled, or our borders to be disrespected anymore.

Immediate response.

Mexican President asks for emergency meeting on Friday.
Just hours after President Trump announced that he would impose tariffs of 5 percent on Mexican exports over illegal immigrants, Mexico’s president Lopez Obrador sent Trump a letter asking for a conference to work towards a compromise. 
Reuters. 

Now you might say this is Trump being extreme, but that is wrong, it was Obrador who was extreme. It was his actual stated policy to urge migrants to the United States. His way of making Mexico wealthy. He said this.
“And soon, very soon — after the victory of our movement — we will defend all the migrants in the American continent and all the migrants in the world,” Obrador said, adding that immigrants “must leave their towns and find a life in the United States.”  He then declared it as “a human right we will defend.”
Trump is not having it. Trump is using the power invested in his office to force his agenda. And that agenda affects directly the stated policy of Mexico that intended to speed the burden placed on America and hasten its dissolution to the advantage of Mexico. It is a sleazy slippery slipshod greasy worldview malevolent and underhanded in conceptualization. Now contrast that with Trump's vision of free and fair trade and that does include freedom and fairness of legal movement of labor.

Mexico seeks compromise.

No. There will be no compromise. There will be capitulation to Master Chaos on Planet Trump. And in the end Mexico will be better for it. And so will China. And Canada. And Europe. 

On a Strange and Wonderful Journey



Leon Redbone died yesterday, May 30.  I first heard him sing late one night on a Johnny Carson show in the late 80's, and was so intrigued I bought a cassette which I sang along with in the kitchen while cooking and taking care of family.  In an odd way, he touched my heart and life with his quirkiness and enjoyment of performance and music.   If we never meet again this side of heaven...I'm glad to have "met" and sung along with him here.   

Thursday, May 30, 2019

RIP BIll .....I forgive you for the Five Grand



I just heard that Bill Buckner the classic Red Sox player has passed away at the early age of  69, It appears that he suffered from dementia which is really sad. I feel responsible because I put a curse on him because he cost me five grand.

White Sox, worst first pitch in history



Eh, that's not so bad. 

But this is embarrassing.

On so many levels. 

Two levels. 

The lame-ass throw and the hat.


My brother would say he throws like a girl.

But that's a myth!

And I should point out that time my brother said that I throw like a girl I actually out-threw him. We were throwing rocks over a cliff as you do and I'm all ha ha ha I throw farther than you and he's all, you throw like a girl. And that assessment haunted me for decades thereafter for I trusted him.

Later, I'd look back at all the crap that guy told me and how sorely he misled me and I realized how badly my trust was misplaced. He was always messing with my head. But then, I really was bugging the living piss out of him. I honestly don't know how he stood me. Can you imagine having a guy like me tagging along everywhere you go asking you a million questions a minute, dragging you down?

Like an anchor.

Dragging along a stupid little anchor who can't do anything and has to have everything explained.

He raised me as much as my parents did. No he didn't. Yes he did. No he didn't. Yes he did.

Obviously we were both raised by the same parents but he had the additional burden of me. I got everything that he earned. Like later bedtime for example. Freedom to roam for another. We both got watches at the same time. I didn't have to wait a year and a half. Whatever responsibility he earned automatically devolved to me. He blazed my trail. So for him to tell me I throw like a girl, ew, that's just so damning, like Jesus said that. I honored everything he told me. I trusted fully.

And he was so full of shit.

He was a boy!

He told me the clouds move because Jesus is up there on top of them pushing them around with a stick. And for years I looked for Jesus in the clouds.

But that was because I asked him, and that was his best answer.

He told me that he and our parents took a drive before I woke up and the wheels of the car extended outward and they rode over the top of the bridge structure formed as two arches. So I should start waking up earlier so I don't miss all the fun.

And I'm all, "I WANT TO DO THAT TOO!"


What a f'k'n liar!

Did my 5-year-old older brother not imagine that lie wouldn't stick with me for the next 63 years?

Goddamnit. How could a guy forget a missed opportunity like this? 

Mythbusters. The "throw like a girl myth" 



When I tell my older brother this now he just laughs at me like the whole thing is terribly funny. He doesn't feel a trace of guilt. What an asshole. 

Chinese man gets knocked out saving 2-year-old baby fallen from 5th story window

And that's all you're having.

Except that both were injured and both are doing fine.


Sunrise

We get yet another day - yay!


Meringue omelet making machine

The YouTube channel japanesestuffchannel uploads videos of cheap novelty Japanese items. Sometimes not so cheap.

For example these scissors weren't even featured, they were just used to open a package.


They're super cool. I want one. But they're small. And they're $33.00. F that.  They're cute, but not $33.00 worth of cute.

That reminded me. One day a long time ago when I was in my early twenties I was at Joe's house in early evening in an area of the house that seemed designed for cocktail parties between the kitchen and large glass doors that led to a patio shaded by an arbor loaded with grapes. You could just reach up and pick them. Everything in the room is elegant, in the whole house, actually, and I mean everything every last detail; the natural materials wall paper, the fabrics, the upholstery, carpet and rugs, the painted walls, the lighting from lamps and the recessed lighting, the furniture, absolutely everything was carefully chosen for its quiet understated elegance and its harmony. 

His wife was behind the bar. Also very elegant. Wife and bar. And smack in the middle of the marble bar top stood an oversized bright orange and blue candle of a cartoon Bronco football player that stuck out like a fierce sore thumb. I said to his wife, Randaval, "I hate cute things." 

She laughed uncontrollably. When she could finally speak she said, "I know. I hate cute things too." 

But there it was, that stupid ass Bronco candle. Why was it even there? Everyone loves Broncos, I get it. But not that. 

"[Somebody who I didn't know] gave it to us."

"Oh." 


Gross. 

Matthew Reinhart, opposite action pull tab

When he shows Captain America pull tab you can see how it could be made so that that opening the page pulls the tab automatically by putting Captain America on one page and gluing the pull tab to the opposite page.

People Are Awesome, Party up



Mutants of Dance.


And last night you were in my room
And now my bedsheets smell like you
Everyday discovering something brand new
I'm in love with your body.



We saw this Ed Sheeran song before; Shape of You.  Easy to see why the kids like it so much.

Heat changing mugs

There's a million of 'em.



Possibly a thousand. I didn't actually count.



Lots of Harry Potter, Dr Who, Star Wars, Rick and Morty, cats, owls, and such.

Some are bee-you-tea-full. 



Some are quite clever. Others are gross. 

You can make one yourself!



Another way. (mute video)




Weather's Here - Wish You Were Beautiful


Don't click on the video if you don't care for the song. I put the video up for its cover art start page.

Something weird happened on the WH lawn yesterday. But don't worry, I think Presidents have immunity from the Immolation Clause.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Weather

We had a great sunrise this morning:


I got some work done during the day, then this evening as I was working in my shop I wandered out to see if there was a sunset that I could take a picture of and what I saw was that a storm had suddenly blown up:


I am not big on squall line storms - that dramatic a change in the weather usually means trouble. But in this case we didn't even get a drop of rain.

I checked to see if I had posted this particular piece by Schubert before, I cannot tell with any certainty where I have or not, but I did see an old post wherein I wrote about too much rain. Good times, good times. We are back in a drought now. I have to water my trees and the earth itself is cracking. Not saying we need a monsoon,  but some rain would be nice.


Wives have tea

Melania Trump and Akie Abe visit Akasaka Palace. They're entertained by Japanese ... whatever that is. Music? Dance? Sounds? Gestures? Poses? Fabrics, fashion, ikebana, design, style? You tell me, because I don't know.



On YouTube the video description tells what the men talked about, important international relationship things; Iran, North Korea, balance of trade, honor, relationship building. 

Commenters over there on YouTube deeply appreciate this display of culture. They're especially taken by the little girls and to Melania's observable reaction to watching the little girls. 

And I'm all, ¿

You know, this whole thing and not one single mention of bonsai.

The emperor has the most amazing bonsai collection you've ever seen. I mean it. Trees that are hundreds of years old. Four-hundred years, five-hundred years old, and I bet some even older than that.

Trees given to the emperors by samurai families over centuries.

They drag these trees inside for special occasions such as this. Surely they moved at least one tree to inside the imperial palace just for this one thing, but no mention of it in media.

A goddamn 500 year-old tree dragged into the palace by a team of people with tremendously great care and placed just so, for a president of the United States to walk past it. Once.

Then back to the yard with all the other trees.

Amazing, incredible trees. Many are quite famous.

Let's look at 'em.

[Japan, imperial garden bonsai trees]

Imperial bonsai collection post 1960



"The years weigh heavy on [eight] imperial gardeners straining to transport a 250 year-old pine.

The bonsai, one of 350 in the Emperor's collection, will greet guests visiting the palace for a state banquet."









The Post Brewing Co.

2200 S. Broadway, Denver CO

At first I thought, ew, this is where ugly people go, and then I realized no that's wrong it doesn't describe every-one.

I've been thinking about heading down the street to Kentucky Fried Chicken for my annual full dosage of salt and right then Yelp sent a flier pointing to three fried chicken places in my area that I didn't know about. All these places that Yelp points out are easy to ignore as you drive by them. Some occupy places I've already been.


For a brewery, oddly, some of their beer comes in tins on ice in a bin such as a picnic. With strange hipster names. Here. have a look at their photos. 


Cheddar biscuits. Apparently they also have chicken-biscuits. 


This photo disturbed me. Because these fingers are how my toes are right now. The high blood pressure medication, although tiny and very low dosage, causes my hoofies to swell to elephantiasis-size. It's ridiculous. Comical if it weren't also painful. I have two pair of extra-wide shoes and opened to full capacity so the laces don't even close they're still too small to use. I stopped taking those meds and started another but the swelling has only begun to diminish. So seeing these fingers I'm all, what the f is wrong with you? 



See? The fried chicken skin and the celery sliver turn the deviled egg into chickens.



I find this very appealing. For me this would be a full meal.



Plastic in the oceans is critical concern in Denver. Yeah. That's right. We're like this. On the one hand, hippies use side door, on the other hand total concern for the environment far far away. WE ONLY GOT ONE EARTH SO DON'T BLOW IT! 

It's all very very extraordinarily ordinary and that's its appeal.

Fresh Hell

Mueller announces closure of the special counsel office and his resignation from the Department of Justice. He says what Democrats want him to say then doesn't take questions.




Kodi Lee

Drone footage off coast of Australia



More in Baja, Sea of Cortez

70,000 without power as tornadoes strike across Indiana and Ohio

Story on Fox.

This PBS video is better than the one on Fox.



Far less hail damage at my house. Here, let me draw you a picture. This X 4 basket planters. The heirloom petunia plants I grew inside over the past few months were all killed. Each planter had one such as this. The planters waiting for the weather to change to fill them up to the maximum. They're easily replaced with regular petunias.


Steve Bannon on European elections

Interviewed by the extremely annoying interrupt-y Martha MacCallum.



Why does Bannon think British led Americans in anti-globalism? Why does he say Trump was empowered by Brexit, when the things he cites were not fully possible when Trump was stifled by Mueller investigation but still progressed anyway? 

He's a little too blithe in dismissing the steadily growing power of Tea Party types that increased in strength and in numbers through election cycles even as their name was dropped. Their name disappeared, and from Washington p.o.v., their using government departments against Tea Party worked, but those people didn't go anywhere and their resolve hardened to action with clearly observable results. Bannon has it backwards, the Tea Party led Europe, and Trump led Brexit, and gave example to Europe, not the other way around. For all his perspicacity he does have his blind spots.

It was Tea Party that did all of this. They gave the U.S. Trump and it is Trump who gave clear voice to nationalism. Farage was risible British crackpot before Trump. LePen was far-right before Trump and now she is mainstream.

Breakfast quesadilla in ASL

He spells it quesadala. Eh, close enough.

I like watching people finger spell. It's like various handwriting.

Jeff has the neatest most textbook-like handwriting I've ever seen. And his fingerspelling is perfectly formed and fast as an SST. Words appear within blurs with each letter formed perfectly.

Closed captions says "Mexican" while he signs "Spain." Some make no distinction while others do.

"Spain" is showing a bullfighter's cape being clasped.
I've seen Mexico/Mexican as an "M" dragged back across the cheek toward the ear.s
Another version is similar to "Cuba," a visor of a hat being flicked up similar to a salute. Except for "Mexico" made with a "V."

"Kids" is shown by the "liquor" configuration flicking under the nose. It can also be shown by tapping their little heads in descending succession, like three kids at different heights. The first sign is made at the face the second sign is made at the waist.

The type of "kid" as in a joke is shown as two "q" hand configurations scrapping one atop the other. "Kidding oneself" is that same thing awkwardly reversed to point to oneself, for "joke to you/me"

All this is online. The dictionaries show all of this.


Eggs are delicate and their components cook at temperatures well below boiling water.

That's why I don't get Japanese cooks who make fried rice by starting their egg first at high temperature in a wok, cook it violently then all the way through the other ingredients cooking thoroughly. They're chefs. But they show no respect toward the egg.

Tom here cooks his egg twice.

I see no advantage to the waffle iron except for novelty of bumps and both tortillas overcooking simultaneously. Now he has to clean the pan and the waffle iron. And gag down two overcooked tortillas. Where one tortilla will do.

The tortillas are already cooked. They need only be warmed. The ham also only needs to be warmed. The eggs denature and cook at low temperature and the cheese melts at similar low temperature. All this can be done in the pan in under one minute without frying the egg first and the quesadillas will be more tender and lovely and soft and appealing.

I've watched dozens of ASL cooking shows. All of them are very young people who are not fluent signers and who don't know how to cook. It's actually a bit sad seeing them struggle with both things. They're all beginners at both skills. This man is the most fluent that I've seen.

What makes him a beginner cook?

The waffle iron. This is a griddle thing. No chiles. Not even any chile powders. Or chile sauce.

Yes, quesadilla is queso + tortilla. Plain as can be. That's how they're served in Mexico.

But Tom is adding egg and ham as an American breakfast. There is salt in cheese but you can at least expect pepper. And since you're using tortilla and calling it Mexican quesadilla then you can expect chiles and Mexican spices and herbs. That would be cumin and cilantro at least. Avocado, tomato, onion to jazz it up. And Mexican cheese. Come on!

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Antonio Soler, inventor of the stride bass


Notice that all of the notes she plays are on that one sheet of music. 

Cauliflower

That Aeropress coffee must have chemically elevated my mood because I've been cracking up laughing this morning all over the place. Then when I calm down and re-read what set me off, it's actually not that funny.

I cannot recapture the precise points that I found so hilarious. The thing that I'm reading is intellectual but it's sprinkled with childlike derogative adjectives. I read it wrong to begin with "Alexandria Donkey-Chompers snake-pit head" had me laughing so hard that I couldn't stop, but it is actually "in Donkey-Chompers snake-pit head" saying cauliflower is culturally inappropriate. Its origin is India and other similar exotic places. Therefore inappropriate for us to grow.

Truly idiotic. We can grow whatever we want to grow. Whatever we can grow. Just shut up.

If Donkey-Chompers was sitting here with me and if we were discussing her ideas for our food then I'd reverse her theory to illustrate American plants, New World plants, introduced to Europe and Asia and Africa, that by way of terroir and by processing methods became identified with foreign nations, San Marzano tomatoes, Hungarian paprika, Madagascar vanilla, Swiss chocolate, Irish potatoes, for examples. Squashes, zucchini or aubergines whatever you choose to call them, pumpkins, melons, corn would all be off limits to Europeans, Asians and Australians.

The list of New World plants is gloriously long.

The cauliflower videos are not very good. I want to see American farmers because we're the best. This one is short and you can safely skip the first minute without missing anything useful and her blithe superficial recapitulation contains certain errors.


Cauliflower really is cultivated elsewhere more than it is cultivated in the U.S.

Their videos are even more difficult to watch. The narration is grating, the methods backwards. A woman flings dry poo from a large bowl to cover a field then a tiny tractor tills it in. The steps are over-explained.

All the videos are terrible. All these fer'ners all over the place. The American videos show small production and unusual characters explaining their challenges.

Top 5 cauliflower producing countries. 

1) China  8M  tons
2) India  5 M  tons
3) Spain  .45M tons
4) Italy  .41M tons
5) France .38 M tons

Wikipedia shows a different list. 

1) China 10.2 M tonnes
2) India 8.2 M tonnes
3) United States 1.3 M tonnes
4) Spain .6 M tonnes
5) Mexico .6 M tonnes
6) Italy .4 M tonnes.

I learned: if you don't close up the head with the leaves then the sun turns the head yellow. That sun-yellowing makes cauliflower unsellable. They're discarded. There is a great deal of wasted production.

While contrarily, seeds for yellow type are much more expensive than seeds for the white type.

But those yellow types make your cauliflower display outstanding, and they sell very well.

So what we have is a contradiction right there. Is yellow undesirable or not?

I find them desirable. It makes me want to buy them.

Apparently, it's a different kind of yellow. Sun-yellowing of white type is bad, while genetically pure yellow is good.

And seeds for the purple and green types are less expensive than for the yellow type.

Roasted cauliflower really is good. You can eat a whole head for a meal.

Jerry Nadler, where are you?

So extremely noisy and continuously vexatious. So clamorous for attention. So aggressive toward President Trump.

Now nothing.  We don't smell the guy anywhere. Has he gone to wherever Ruth Ginsberg went?

Odd, isn't it. Trump's tax returns are deemed crucial public information while the critical health status of Congressional leaders and Supreme Court Justice are not.

Like when the children suddenly get quiet you know something is wrong.

96 year-old vet plays National Anthem on harmonica

Pete Dupré plays to open the USWNT game.



 (I have no idea what USWNT means)

Joe diGenova talks about declassification and Obama era political surveillance

Trump aboard the Wasp



Skippy says:
Thank you Potus and Flotus for visiting and speaking to our 7th Fleet troops here. As usual, POTUS shows no sign of fatigue and nothing but support for our Troops! I am honored that Sundance posted this video which I listened to in its entirety and truly honored to be called an American under President Trump. Thank you 7th Fleet. God Bless you all.
Deplorable Canuck says:
You Americans have the coolist Military hardware! WASP, is an amazing ship! Trump looks great as does FLOTUS. God bless the USA and its Armed services. May we never forget their sacrifices.

Nature

Was reading my mind tonight.

There I was writing (to my brother) and describing the harshness of truth directly and unemotionally, saying what happened and what's coming up when the entire sky thunderously grated its portions against one another just overhead.

I continued citing details hard to express and even harder to accept then outside light precipitation developed to audible hail.

Ping ping ping pingpingpingping bang pingpingping bangpingbang ping ping ping

I continued writing.

pingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingping
pingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingpingping
pingpingpingpingpingpingpingbangbangbangbang
bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangping
bangbangbangbangpingbangbangbangbangbang
pingpingpingbangbangbangbangbangpingping

This awesome!

Even nature agrees.

I continued pouring my heart out saying things that are felt but usually left unexpressed for their difficulty is too much to say without breaking hearts while addressing them head on and eyes up allows us to pass through them and the night sky split open and dumped out its contents and flooded the whole place all at once.

I finished.

And so did the sky.

Monday, May 27, 2019

"Man dies on plane after ingesting 246 cocaine bags"

Via BBC News:
The flight, bound for Japan's Narita International Airport, had to make an emergency landing in Mexico's Sonora state after he began to have seizures.

Authorities said the man, identified as Udo N, died of a cerebral edema caused by a drug overdose.

The passenger transferred to the flight after starting his journey in the Colombian capital Bogotá.

According to a statement by Sonora's attorney general, the bags - measuring 2.5cm long and 1cm wide - were found in his stomach and intestines during the autopsy.

The remaining 198 passengers aboard were able to continue their journey after the emergency landing in the city of Hermosillo.

My cat likes shadow puppets



Vet solves longstanding problem with a crayon

His story involves a blue tick dog.


And a bush hog.


And the most beautiful Filipino woman you ever saw.




Oh Man, I thought he was going melt the crayon into a weapon.

Fluty Lick garden, May update

Memorial Day


Sunday, May 26, 2019

The hard time I had watching this video explains why goverment often fails or Why America will never be great again



This video was included in my YouTube recommendation videos to watch.

Nationalists win in European election

These extREmes SEEM to be speaking to MANy people in Europe in a way that traditional potties have not bean, jeanclaudtrichet …

I gave up eight seconds in.  But that’s okay, the video is only 1:45 and nobody cares what they said anyway.

Everything right of Lenin is described as "far right."



Farage is doing especially well with votes exceeding the combined totals of Tories and Labor. Exit polls show France's Le Pen edging out Macron. Gains for nationalists in Poland, Hungary, Austria, Italy and Greece.

50% turnout, 200 million actual voters in 28 countries, 7 held ballots earlier, the rest finish today. 

Did someone say Muscle Shoals?

Muscle Shoals has the swampers. They pick me up when I'm feelin' blue:


Tell the truth!

KLEM FM


The song has a 6/8 time signature. All I hear is 1-2-3 1-2-3, like a waltz. I tried following this video but got distracted by the hostess. Perhaps Sixty could explain 6/8 in layman terms. Like he did for the song "Whipping Post" off the same classic album.

The song features unusual uses of silence. First is the full stop around the 3m20s mark. And then how they let the song flicker and almost go out near the end. And lastly how the stunned audience pauses at the very end before applauding -- almost like they weren't sure it was over.

The song cooks --Stay cool!

Greg Gutfeld

What a great time to be alive

That's what William Jacobson says at Legal Insurrection.

And I agree.

Jacobson is commenting on his cartoonist, Branco, being re-tweeted by President Trump.


Ha ha ha. Saw that. All over the place. Oh Man, President Trump saw it too. That kills me. What a sense of humor. 

Those are very good caricatures with great economy of lines. He doesn't even need to label them.

And Brennan lost his shit. He tweeted:
Young people everywhere: Please do not emulate Mr. Trump's very immature behavior. Find others of honesty, integrity, & decency to be your role models. And always try to do what you know is the right thing, even when doing what is right is both unpopular & difficult.
Oh please. Spare us the inflated sanctimony. No amount of righteous pontificating can deflect from what he has done.

Trump is ridiculed nightly on late night television, and irritatingly everywhere, globally, every single hour of every day nonstop and along the lines of the most insane liberal tropes received as common wisdom, such as this today on a British satire site, so common it cannot possibly be funny and yet it was front-paged, and Brennan bristles at a single cartoon.

Exercise: Go to YouTube and enter "trump" in their search bar then press the filter button. Select "today" to see all the videos uploaded the last 24 hours. CNN and MSNBC always feature prominently making their hourly obsession apparent to everyone and they cannot help themselves from reporting malevolently.

Actually, today is not so bad as usual. There are too many outstanding and interesting things happening that are difficult to present poorly. And posted at top. Today is an unusual day. But scroll down. And see that they do manage to present poorly. They always manage to find the dark lining to every silver cloud. Every crackpot cockroach on earth comes crawling out of their crack with some warped witless opinion. Give any one of them 3 seconds and feel your IQ being drained.

Some woman named Hillary Clinton

Said something.

But I cannot be arsed to watch the video for I cannot be vexed. I'm all ...



But other people have watched the video and they say things like:

... At times yelling so loudly that the audio equipment malfunctioned, Clinton berated the president and Republican proposals to secure the border ...

And:

Hillary Clinton will wait to make a formal announcement until after the current group of “Munchkins” either drop out or crash and burn. After they’re gone, Hillary will attack Joe Biden and engineer behind the scenes to “reduce or remove” him from the horizon.

Ha ha, he said ,"Munchkins."

And:

Notice the very large shoulder pads Hillary’s jacket has (covering up a brace perhaps)? Notice how she grips the podium? How about the screaming? Something is very wrong with her health.

And:

The Lunatic is long past losing the plot. She is hors de combat. The Law is moving in on her and her partner in crime.

*Looks up hors de combat*

And: 

She still has to stop and think about what she is saying!!! Neuro disorder event coming our way! These people are all scared ... Barr the door because it is coming! 

And:

Is it just my ‘puter, or did she have some wild eyes in that vid? Too much coffee in her Irish Coffee?

And:

Projection at its finest.

So who would even want to see such a video when there are so many fun and interesting things going on? 

Nobody. That's who.

So then, here's the video of Herself, for Nobody.

Bart Starr

Passed

Brexit explained

Sumo again, bird's eye view

This video gives a much better impression of what a bfd this event is.

Rolling Thunder

At first he was all ...


And then he was like ...



The language everybody understands -- bubbles.

That's what the lady said.

Pine resin potatoes

Outrageous. I never heard such a thing.

Sumo

Three minutes of walking into the stadium and being seated, the crowd, and everyone taking video with their phones.



Why, it's like being there.

Special slippers to walk onto the dohyō. Notice trophy is called the President's Cup. I think. Notice the eagle on top.


Golf

One minute video of Trump landing in Marine-One at Mobara Country Club with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe rolling up in a golf cart to meet him. They shake hands, wave at the press pool without answering any questions. They get into the golf cart and Abe drives them away.

Together. Relaxing together. Building their relationship. Most likely discussing matters both related and unrelated to work.

They are playing and working together.

This element of relation-building is always overlooked when "playing" so much golf is used to criticize Trump. He is working at the same time. His critics view him as wasting taxpayers, what, money, I suppose. They describe him as goofing around and not doing the job of being president. They don't like it. Even his critics who play golf. Even critics who use golf for this same purpose see Trump's golf-playing as excessive and wasteful.

I don't like golf.

To my own detriment I ignored it at work.

Golf would have gone a very long way in advancing my career had I only taken an interest in either of those things; golf or advancing a career.

I saw golf do wonders for ingratiating unqualified people to management positions because they enjoyed doing that with older vice presidents. They made themselves available where I did not. They allowed their elders to assess their personalities, their steadiness, their levelheadedness, their humor, their cooperation, their spirit, where I did not.

I don't resent this at all, these are the opposite choices we made. I had zero interest in doing anything outside of work with these people. While others did have such an interest. They had a strong interest in doing anything that brought them close to the people who affected their career, their future, their economic wellbeing. They advanced where I did not. That's all my own choice. They were team players. I was not.

Play golf with these assholes?

I don't like golf or these assholes.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I'm certainly not going to have them invading my private time. They are definitely not part of my free time.

See? That's a bad attitude right there. But that was my attitude.

No. Golf is working. Golf is relationship-building. And that is crucial to the things Trump is doing, and how he is doing them. Trump is Jupiter. And all other global principals are Jupiter's moons. Everyone wants a closer orbit to Jupiter. Golf gives them that exceedingly intimate orbit.

And if you don't play golf with Trump, or for some reason cannot, then you forfeit that opportunity for intimacy.

Abe is having the time of his life. Trump says, "Drink it, Abe. It doesn't get any better than this."

Compare this manner with previous presidents who used golf as mere relaxation. A brief escape. Often only with friends who were already close and not crucial to global realignments.

I believe that people who criticize Trump for "playing" too much golf, count the days and compare them with previous presidents, are either purposefully pretending to not understand or actually don't know what they are talking about.

I know that because decades ago they explained this to me when I was the one being obdurate and obtuse about how golf is used.