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 A young Sixty Grit (Delta Blues affciando) casually dismisses up and coming band Led Zeppelin and blows his chances with a hot redhead:

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Triggering Chris Cuomo:

Weather's Here - Wish You Were Beautiful

Don't click on the video if you don't care for the song. I put the video up for its cover art start page.

Something weird happened on the WH lawn yesterday. But don't worry, I think Presidents have immunity from the Immolation Clause.

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John Brennan responds to Trump:


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Stormy Daniels' Lawyer Releases Forensic Artist Sketch

Who doesn't like a bit of levity, amirite?

My dogs had a similar response:

Tough crowd!

Top 10 Urban Uses For AllenS's Contraption

[continued-in-part from here]

The inventor's stated utility is for dead lifting and transporting log rounds to feed to a log splitter located some distance away. Who the hell else has those needs beside perhaps Sixty Grit?

Here are the top 10 urban and possibly suburban uses for The Contraption^TM

• Keg lifter.  Tired of herniated discs from dead lifting those 15.5 gallon beer kegs?  Next time use The Contraption^TM
• Manhole Cover Lifter. Whether you're homeless or just curious about what's under those cast iron manhole covers, make the job effortless with The Contraption^TM
• Sex Attractant. Looking to impress someone to get a date or get at their "manhole" -- next time use The Contraption^TM to look extra manly. 
• Urban Statue Debris Hoist. Brought down any offensive Confederate statuary lately? The Contraption^TM makes clean up a breeze. Or, if it's your job to clean up after those thugs, get The Contraption^TM
• ATM hoist . Thought about "banking" at home at your own convenience? Get The Contraption^TM to bring home some bacon.
• Luggage lifter. Does your wife pack way too much luggage for those weekend forays to Canada or Florida? Do you feel helpless at curbside getting those bags into the Uber or Lyft trunk? Get The Contraption^TM
•  Carjacker. Have you ever wished you had something that could get you quicker access beneath your vehicle on a crowded urban street? The Contraption^{TM l}lets you raise and lower any vehicle with ease. Extra bright 12V lighting system optional. 
•  Road Blocker. Need help with traffic control at your next spontaneous street event? The Contraption^TM can help you set obstacles and erect barriers at your next event. 
•  Sex device. Ask spinelli about that. He suggested it. 

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Overheard at Lem's:

edutcher said...
Now you're just plain wrong. One strike, one shot across the bow, is not intervention and it isn't war.
If Trump just wanted to make a point, he made it. I haven't seen any follow-up, and I haven't any announcement of troop commitments.
So it looks like we do have a one off and that should be the end of it.
April 8, 2017 at 8:38 PM

Ed aims and throws a missive like a tomahawk missile. Speaking of which:

    link

I realize that most of you have seen that Carson clip. But if there's just one of you who hasn't, it was worth reposting.

Analyzing Bob Dylan's 2016 Christmas Lights

This has become an annual tradition -- a time when Dylan watchers anxiously await the fates in the lights. Merrill Markoe released her analysis of Bob Dylan's Christmas lights. Here are some highlights.

An "N" shape is seen in the string:

link to original

I've seen clearer "N's" embedded in kid's pajamas.

Deeper analysis of the string reveals various clues to Bob's quixotic response to the Nobel Prize Committee; begin down in the lower left with 1 and follow through to 21 (number 11, lol):

link to original

For previous year's analyses, click on the "Bob Dylan's Christmas Lights" tag.

The Sorry Story At Lem's

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The Redneck Book of Manners

***GENERAL*** 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. Its considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home! *** DINING OUT *** 1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. 2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs. 3. Slow dancing at the local Waffle House is acceptable provided you pay your fair share of the jukebox. *** ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME *** 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are. 3. The beer keg shold not obstruct anyone's path walking through the middle of the living room. *** PERSONAL HYGIENE *** 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. *** DATING (Outside the Family) *** 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say tomorrow! ; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. 4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, "ya sure don't sweat much for a fat broad." *** WEDDINGS *** 1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. 5. Remember, the buffet food should be consumed on the premises and not for your personal takeout for tomorrow's dinner. 6. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack. *** DRIVING ETIQUETTE *** 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. 6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. *** TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER *** 1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records. 3. Same evidence: Murderer was last seen leaving the crime scene in a beat up pickup truck. H/t AllenS

An In-Depth Analysis of Bob Dylan's 2015 Christmas Lights

Link to story

I don't know about you, but I'll wait for the "annalysis." 

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The nightly news from Albania:

link in case the video doesn't open

She replaced even bigger news:

link in case the video doesn't load

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Overheard at Lem's:

Dust Bunny Queen said...
OMG Chick. I love that song and downloaded it into my ITunes. My husband just /facepalms whenever it comes up on the random song list. Enormous Penis, by Da Vici's Notebook is another one of my absolute politically incorrect but fun songs to listen to. I do have that one on a different play list so it won't come up in polite company. (Give it a listen...you all will laugh)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpY3ggKAPIE
December 5, 2015 at 10:46 AM

Link in case the video doesn't load

This Is How Balls Were Busted!

Link in case the video doesn't load

Watch the intro, then skip ahead to 28m 50s for my favorite part.

Hysterical!

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When in Rome...

Link in case the video doesn't load

The Vandals were an L.A. Punk band from the 1980's. This isn't their best one, but I think it's a mood-lightener. The "yodeling" still makes me crack-up. It sounds like glossolalia. That was the spirit of L.A. punk.

Levity

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"What's a Basketball Jones?

That's simple. A basketball jones is when you love basketball so much that you are like a junkie."

You've Got Mail*

To: Camille Paglia
To: Camille Paglia
From: Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton
Re: Our college Days
CC: Bill Clintion, Ellen Degeneres, Oprah, NOW, Emily's List

Dear Cami,

I have been reading  your latest screed and I must say I am very disappointed. I see where you go after Bill again about that stupid tramp Monica. Get over it already. It is no big feminist issue.  I don't care if he used young girls to service him so I can concentrate on implanting my plans for world domination. Don't you remember all those times in college when we were in the steam room at Lucille Roberts talking about how we were going to topple the patriarchy and take over the world? I mean then you could put your finger on it. I mean you always put your finger on it.

Don't you remember the good times?

By the way I still have those pants. Huma wears them now. She loves to get into my pants.

Please be a dear and donate some of your vast riches to the Clinton foundation or at least use my Amazon portal to show your appreciation for my activities as a model for women. I think I deserve much more than obscure college professors who are drunk and disorderly even if they do write about you on their failing blogs.

Toodles,
Hillary.

_________________
*A guest post from Trooper York

More Hillary Press Conference...

Photo h/t: EBL

This is what Checkers would have heard today were he still alive. Just click on the "play" button.

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These never get old: