I loved living in Southern California even though I was not native to the sunny vales of the Golden State. You see I was born in the old country and was brought here as a child after the terrible accident where my parents were killed that involved the villagers with torches and pitch forks. My Aunt Lily and Grandpa came and rescued me and brought me to their home. I am eternally grateful because that is where I met my wonderful Uncle Herman.
I had to hide the fact that Uncle Herman had become my monster lover. I didn't want to hurt my Aunt Lilly who had been so kind to me. So periodically I would date other people to throw her off the scent. Now I couldn't do that with Eddie because he was a werewolf and they can smell out anything but he only liked to smell piss. Specifically female piss so if I left a pair of my piss stained panties around he would be busy wacking off for days. Still and all I had to bring in a parade of losers just to keep up appearances.
I dated Moondoggie which had the added benefit of pissing off that little whore Gidget. She got so mad she went off to become a nun. Then I went out with Tod Stiles who was pretty cool. He was always off with his friend traveling on Route Sixty Six. I tried to interest him in Route Sixty Nine but he never wanted to ago there so I guess he was a homo. I heard he became a cop. There were several other losers but the one I most remember was a hillbilly from Carolina with a woodie named Sixty Grit.
