RIP BIll .....I forgive you for the Five Grand

I just heard that Bill Buckner the classic Red Sox player has passed away at the early age of  69, It appears that he suffered from dementia which is really sad. I feel responsible because I put a curse on him because he cost me five grand.

One more thing?

"I am so glad I am here with you Robert." 
"That's nice Pat. But you should know I am not into the fish taco." 
"Well this is 1972 Robert. We can order what ever you want." 
"This is San Fransisco Pat. What do you think I want?" 
"Oh. Sausage?" 
"Yes. And one more thing." 
"Yes. What can I do for you?" 
"Please stop touching my tits."

Yes it's a cake.

"It looks delicious."
"Yes I whipped it up for my master."
"Well I hope he appreciates how tasty it looks."
"I am talking about the cake sister. Stop staring at my tits!"

Holy Hekawis Batman!

"Ugh. Gay man in blue tights scare chickens. Please do not rub against my wariors. Especaily Bald Eagle. Just because he manscapes does not mean anything."
"Well my good fellow. You are mistaken. I am very heteronormal. You need not worry."
"If you no bang Julie Newmar as a Catwoman you no bang her as Indian maiden. You are fooling no one Berdacheman."
"I bet you I can bed one of your squaws before the night is over Chief."
"Fine. We seal bet with old Indian tradition. Pinky swear."
"You bet Chief. Bring me to the girls. Get me some with big tits. But first I have to pinch a loaf. Clouds."
"Pogan me Berdacheman."

Dear Mrs Steve Phillips

Dear Mrs Steve Phillips,

Well now you have done it you frigid bitch. My girlfriend Julia has told me you have dropped a dime on her to FOX News and told everyone that she was fucking Keith Hernandez. That she was trying to dip into his wife's bank account. Why did you have to do that you bitch?

I can understand that you are mad at me because Steve fucked me in the parking lot in my Acura. Three different times.  Of course the parking lot is what he called my asshole because it was big and dirty and had a lot of puerto ricans in it before the game. Still he loved to fuck me while I was wearing the Mr. Met hat and a Mookie Wilson jersey. He said I was his good luck charm. You ruined all of that for us. You got me fired from my TV gig. Steve lost his job as analyst which was a shame because he put the anal in analyst. Even ESPN wouldn't hire him. So he had a plan.

Steve decided to become a communist. He figured that would give him a boost when he reapplied to ESPN. They loved communists over there. He promised me I could get a job too if I stopped calling him and mailing him my dirty panties. But it didn't work out in the end. He didn't even get to work out in my end. You see it wasn't enough to be be a communist. You had to be a Schwartze too!

So Steve didn't the gig and they hired that Jemele Hill cunt  with the big monkey lips and the fat fly girl ass. Fat lot that did for them. I could have done a fat lot for them too. Cause I am a lot of fat. I think it didn't work out because you spoiled everything with your stupid divorce and your stupid alimony and your stupid kids.

Now you ratted out Julia for banging Keith Hernandez and trying to get into his wife's bank account. What else was she supposed to do? I mean she is half a Jew after all. She had to get the gelt. So it didn't happen for her. Why did you have to spoil it now that she is running for Senator. Don't you know that you have to be a hot spic girl to get elected in Queens these days. Julia Salazar is one hot tamale with a little kosher salt on it. I know you called up that faggot Sheppard Smith  You told him about Keith and Kai and even that she even wasn't a real Jew. What fucking business was it of yours you busybody. If you had got busy with you body when you were married to Steve maybe he wouldn't have been fucking me in the ass in my Acura all those times you snot.

I know you haven't heard from me for a while. I have been busy with my new job at In and Out Burger. I don't want you to think I have forgotten about you and what you did to me. You broke up me and Steve and I can't let that go. So you will be hearing from me soon.

Oh and maybe you should tell your kids to look both ways when they cross the street. You know what I mean. They are in High School now and are much easier to track down since they are high all the time. When I was following them....err...I mean when I last saw them they kept running across the street without looking.

As for you? If you see a brown 1995 Acura with a broken back window you better run like hell. Just sayin'

Toodles
Your Friend
Brooke