Carpets

Do you want to hear something that's kind of funny?

It's about coincidence.

The hallways here are long and wide. The trash chute is at the end. With so many young people coming and going, moving in, moving out, their friends helping move their plants, and pets, it doesn't take long for the hallway carpets to go to H-E-double carpet beating sticks.

A puppy couldn't hold its water when its owner came home and took it out for a walk, and it let loose in excitement a few feet in front of my apartment door.

Oh Man, I hate that.

I could clean it myself. I have a commercial carpet cleaner, the kind that is rented out, but lately I just don't have the energy to drag that thing out. I'm behind my own housekeeping.

By, like, a month. Maybe six months. It feels like I'm behind a million months. This place hasn't been dusted since the Paleocene.

Someone moved out and left several spills on approach to the elevator splotch splotch splotch like a large watered plant tilted on a two-wheeler bashing into a wall.

Another resident's trash bag leaked while walking to the trash chute leaving a trail of dribbles like a long ugly wet necklace that takes several turns on its way down the hall, like a drunk was swinging his bottle around dripping as he stumbled along.

Upon exiting the trash chute room I encountered a young black dude stepping out for a jog. For some reason this guy likes me a lot. He wants to stop and talk all the time. It is his dog that left the large mark near my door. He's the only person who has a pet back there behind me. I never mentioned that I know he is responsible for making my area such a mess.

Referring to the very long string of dribbles in his area of carpet I said, "Man, this carpet looks ghetto."

He agreed.

"I think I'll say that to Deena."

     "Think that will work?"

"Sure. If I use that exact wording. It will embarrass her for not taking care."

     "Try it. See what happens."

"I will."

The next day the carpets were cleaned. This is a massive job. It takes a team all day to do one floor.

But that was pure coincidence. I hadn't yet said anything to Deena. It was not my doing. But now the guy thinks I have impressive influence to get things done around here.

In a way, I do. But not that. Not this time.