Every Picture Tells a Story

As you get older your tastes change. When a Yoohoo and a couple of Ring Dings was the height of culinary delight soon enough you graduate to a fine Malbac and a plate of figs and cheese. Nowhere is that more the case than your musical tastes. I mean who listens to Jethro Tull anymore?

I had always enjoyed Rod Stewart's music. In fact his maudlin ballad "Hand Bags and Glad Rags" was one of my favorite tunes. This was long before punk rock and disco when Led Zep ruled the airwaves.  I remember I played the album "Every Picture Tells a Story" over and over again on my turntable. Then disaster struck.



A rumor started going around. Everybody knew it. Rod Stewart had to be rushed to the Hospital. He had to have his stomach pumped. To remove a gallon of sperm. I mean how could you be a Rod Stewart fan after that?

I followed Rod Stewart surreptitiously after that. I mean when he started singing Disco songs like "Do You Think I'm Sexy" he just sort of proved he was a finoick. He never really approached his output when he was with Ronnie Wood and Faces but he made a good song here and there. He had the mandatory Unplugged show on MTV and an album of standards. He had a minor hit covering a Van Morrison tune.

When I used to go to Vegas in the 1980's they would always have the washed up bands of the Fifties in the lounge at the Sands. Sometimes they were formerly big time acts. Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers. The Platters. The Drifters. A couple of the Temptations or the Four Tops. Later they had washed up rockers doing concerts. Dylan. Journey. Rod Stewart. Everybody has their time and then the play the lounge.

What I love about this song is the lyrics. I don't know if it could play on the radio today if it was a new song.

"I firmly believed that I didn't need anyone but me
I sincerely thought I was so complete
Look how wrong you can be
The women I've known I wouldn't let tie my shoe
They wouldn't give you the time of day
But the slant-eyed lady knocked me off my feet
God, I was glad I found her"

Now that's some empowering shit right there. Those slant eyed ladies had a reputation that I don' think is warranted. Every one I ever met was pretty fucking mean, But hey what do I know. I don't know if those ladies are as good as Rod says.

I just try to follow the last stanza of the tune:

"And if they had the words I could tell to you
To help you on your way down the road
I couldn't quote you no dickens, shelley or keats
'Cause it's all been said before
Make the best out of the bad, just laugh it off
You didn't have to come here anyway, so remember

Every picture tells a story don't it?"