I had a problem in college. Well I had a couple of problems because Uncle Herman would ream me out when we made love and I had to walk bowlegged most of the time. I told every one I had a horse. It was not that much of a lie. I was riding a horsecock every night.
My main problem was I didn't know what to major in because you have to remember it was in the Sixties. Women basically had the choice to be teachers or to get knocked up and marry some guy from the frat next door. I never wanted to teach so I decided to study art for a while.
I liked to paint. Mostly watercolors. Mainly because Uncle Herman loved water sports. My true vocation was in sculpture. I wasn't much for hammer and chisel. I loved to work in clay. I would often sculpt members of the family. Of course my favorite was my beloved Uncle Herman.
I would love to stick my fingers in the malleable clay and shape his bust. Almost as much as he liked to thrust his fingers in my young firm nubile malleable bust and squeeze and shape them every night. Of course that was not my favorite thing. My favorite was the plaster casting.
You see I had this friend Cynthia and her thing was to make a plaster cast of rock stars dicks. She did all the big time guys. Jimi Hendrix. Van Morrison. He was Irish so it was tiny so we saved a lot on plaster. Jim Morrison. Mick Jagger. I was able to help get started by introducing her to the Beach Boys. Aunt Lily was great friends with Dennis Wilson who was also buddies with Aunt Lily/s good friend Charlie. We were able to sneak into a jam session and Cynthia was able to cast a bunch of them. Dennis. Mike Love. Even Brian which was surprising because he was catatonic at the time. Still it was harmless fun. None of them held a candle to my Uncle Herman.
I still take the cast to bed with me every night. You can understand why.
1 comment:
To move to a somewhat higher plane...anyone here concerned about the Coronavirus? The entire city of Hunan, 11 million people! is quarantined. Although that's not really the correct term. Contained is a better term. No one is being allowed out of the city. Except. Except there are still flights in and out. So the virus isn't contained at all. Plus, you can apparently walk around with it for four or five days with NO symptoms, not even a fever, and then WHAM! you fall down in the street. Anyway, I think stopping all flights from China is in order. That's what I think and if it sounds hysterical so be it.
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