Microwave

When I moved to this apartment I decided I needed a new microwave so headed out to Home Depot and bought one. All I want is to melt butter and reheat leftovers, it's a zippy-zappy appliance. Once there, the guy assisting me was a tall thin young enthusiastic male eager to help. I asked him which kind he likes best. He said, "I would love to buy this one." He picked for himself a Magic Chef with additional heating elements above and below and a fan for convection heating. All that sounded like great ideas, the oven could be a regular oven or a toaster.

I've hated this thing for the 12 years I've owned it.

The microwave will not go past six minutes. So I learned at a crucial moment hosting a dinner party. I didn't know it kicks back on after it cools off.

YouTube videos show other people have this same problem and the solution is to fix a connection to an internal fan. It's a simple thing of the fan not working. The fan for the electronics, not the fan for the oven.

But microwaves have inside them a capacitor that stores a bolt of electricity. One wrong move and ZAP you get shocked. So I settled for the six minute limitation. The time it takes for a baked potato.

Twelve years of this horseshit.

A few weeks ago the door open button stopped pressing fully. As if two springs are behind the button and one of the springs is broken. Yesterday the second spring broke with a bowl of spaghetti squash still inside it.

YouTube again, to the rescue.

I tried this and it didn't work. 

So I tried again with a bread knife and that did work. Good. I can open my microwave. 

Parts for this model are not available. I looked all over and results for each page go like this: part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available part not available. No  matter the site, always the same result. 

I know exactly what to do to fix the microwave. While open I can also fix the fan. But I'm tired of dealing with this thing and I don't use those additional features. I prefer the other appliances for baking and broiling. I want a microwave that's only a microwave. 

Here's the thing about microwaves. Only two places make the components. In China. 

Going by trusting your favorite reliable brand does not work with choosing a microwave. All the various companies use the exact same internal parts while adding their own unique switch panels. So choose the panel you like. Choose the size that you like. Choose by the wattage you think that you need. 

A 700 watt microwave will heat a cup of water to boiling in four minutes. A 1,000 watt microwave will heat a cup of water to boiling in a little over 1 minute. 

But cooking time depends on the water content of food items, not on the microwaves. Because popcorn has so little water content, a 1,000 watt microwave might not pop it faster or more evenly.

We'll see about that. 

There is a big jump in cost between 1,000 watt and 1,200 --1,250 watt microwaves. The cost doubles. Online reviews don't care about that. All of their recommendations for best microwave ignore cost value. While the most popular microwaves on Amazon ignore the value of wattage and the value of time.

Here is the microwave that I chose for myself. A fairly small one with sufficient power. I want a simple panel. No extra burner elements inside that make cleaning more complicated, and make the panel more complicated. Something user friendly that any dummkopf such as myself can use right away without reading the user's manual. 

Isn't she lovely? 

♪ Less than one ♫ minute old. 

Microwaves are so cheap it isn't even funny. This one just $89. My criteria was the most power for the least cost, simple panel. That's it. Amazon offers a few in this range.

If it doesn't work, boom, you're outta here. 

There is something almost wrong about that. Something so splendid but so inexpensive that it doesn't get any respect. Something so beautifully useful, so advanced, but treated as a dime a dozen. Our ancestors would die for a thing like this. Poophole places can only dream of having the infrastructure that makes such things possible. My monthly energy bill is less than my automobile insurance. And the appliances that electricity run flow through the market like water.

A lad is going to bring this directly to my front door in two days. Is that awesome or what? 

The first microwave I bought for my house when microwaves were first available for the consumer market was a BFD and cost a small fortune. I think it was low wattage. I don't know. Ten years later when I took it to an electronics repair shop, the guy said, "this dinosaur."  How rude! He said that about a microwave that was only available within the previous decade. My precious advanced acquisition. A dinosaur!

Come on, Dude, you're cracking me up. you cannot compare an early model microwave to a dinosaur.  Your hyperbole is amusing.

Yes I can. This thing is old. 

Over half his own age, in fact.

Incidentally, the best rib roast that I ever made was in that microwave. That was when we read the book assiduously for all its potential. And tried it. But now we wouldn't bother. Still, I keep thinking about that rib roast. The microwave had a sensor that you jabbed into the meat and plugged into a jack inside the oven. And it worked. The internal temperature would reach 125℉ and the oven shut off automatically and the roast would rest right there in the oven. Perfect. Nice crisped exterior, red interior. But the dumb thing did not turn around. That had to be done manually.