Sunday, July 21, 2013

Commenter Material



Hey Lem,

I thought I'd send a vacation postcard from beautiful northern Wisconsin.  It's been quiet here this week.  The summer crop of tourists from Illinois is sparse compared to last summer. 

Anyhow, I was cleaning out the garage today, thinking about taking a load of stuff to the Town dump.  My neighbor down the road stopped by for a beer and to look at my junk (in the non-genital sense) to see if there was something he could use.  Junk never really makes it to the dump; it just moves from place to place.

He took the pontoons from an old party barge I took apart last year.  He called a couple hours later and said "come on over and bring your picnic table".  So I did that.

A couple hours of sawing, drilling and bolting, a twelve-pack of Pabst, the trolling motor off his fishing boat, the umbrella from someone's patio table, and BINGO!  New high-end custom watercraft.

He let his ex-hippie brother-in-law and another guy take it out so we could shoot some photos from another boat.  It's old and slow. Sorta fits the neighborhood demographic that way.

Biggest problem so far (apart from the ten ways this is not legal) is finding users who have about the same weight.  Put a walrus on one side and a lightweight on the other and it'll tip right over.

This thing is a chick magnet, with the polarity reversed.  Heh.

Michael Haz
(sorry I didn't get to this sooner MH)

57 comments:

chickelit said...

It looks ripe for beer and euchre.

Freeman Hunt said...

Ha! See, if I posted this people would say, "Oh, Arkansas!"

chickelit said...

You don't even need to put ashore to take a leak if you're "glad to be guy."

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Anyhow, I was cleaning out the garage today...

That's code for "I miss garage".

The opposite remember?

Michael Haz said...

Freeman, parts of Wisconsin could very easily be North Arkansas. Very easily.

Michael Haz said...

And don't get me started about the U.P. it's from another planet. Canada.

Trooper York said...

Dude.

I didn't know you knew the Duck Commander!

Righteous!

AllenS said...

Give a couple of guys enough time and enough beer, and they'll come up with something.

chickelit said...

Watch the iPhones in case it capsizes!

Trooper York said...

Hey is the Duck Commander giving you Sailor's crack?

That's like plumber's crack only wetter.

Since Crack left that is the only crack you are gonna get around here.

I'm Full of Soup said...

"Reverse the polarity". heh.

And this was a great post Haz!

Deb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dust Bunny Queen said...

Give a couple of guys enough time and enough beer, and they'll come up with something.

Truth. There is very large and shallow spring fed lake in our area and a few years ago a bunch of guys got together and built a swim platform combination dock that they moored into the middle of the lake with cinderblocks and ropes. They took several pontoons from decrepit house boats and built a platform about 20 x 30 ft. Covered in astroturf so you wouldn't burn your feet but left some gaps in the planking so that the water would flow through. Put boat cleats around the edges and ladders on the ends so that people could tie off their boats and climb back out of the water. People would bring their own umbrellas and fold up patio furniture and of course BYOB. You could fish off of the platform if it wasn't party central. It was great fun until we had a big storm and the platform became unmoored and eventually ended up shoved by the wind into the tulies.

Much beer and many other libations were enjoyed on the island in the lake.

deborah said...

omg, Michael, I must have one!

DBQ, your set-up reminds me of
this.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

If that picnic table had come from Lake Mendota, its top would have a coating of dried chick sweat.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ Deborah. That is EXACTLY it!!!.

We used to have a 17 ft inboard open bow Marlin so we never spent the night but many people (brave souls with lots of mosquito repellant) did. After a while, our free time on the weekends began to dry up with more work in the summer....so eventually, we just sold the boat.

Maybe someday, we'll get another. Or....maybe not.

deborah said...

A boat sounds like a lot of fun, but a LOT of work. If I had my druthers, though, I'd kinda like a pontoon with a little cabin-thing on it.

ad hoc said...

Hey, you could join/start a red-neck yacht club.

That is a lovely watercraft.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Watch the iPhones in case it capsizes!

I must admit.

Michael Haz said...

Deborah - A boat is a pain in the butt. A boat is a hole in the water where you throw money. The two happiest days are when you buy it and when you sell it.

My small ski boat ALWAYS needs something, even though it logs only about 20 hours if use each summer. Propellers, hydraulics, trailer repairs, etc. I took my dock out last summer,it was rotting, and burned it. I'm not going to build a new one; I'm selling the boat. If I had young kids, I'd own a small pontoon boat, maybe. But fir now it's kayaks and canoes.

Although a jet ski..........

Trooper York said...

Hey I bet those guys know Honey Boo Boo.

Michael Haz said...

No Honey Boo Boo. The only TV watching up here is sports and weather. Most guys here spend their time outside by choice and by occupation.

When we bought the cabin 25 years ago we came to realize that quite a few people with a LOT of education live here by choice. They mostly say the same thing: I can't stand to work in an office, or in a city.

chickelit said...

@Haz: It's hard to imagine Troop at a cabin on a lake, let alone "Up North"

chickelit said...

Mitchell the Bat said...
If that picnic table had come from Lake Mendota, its top would have a coating of dried chick sweat.

That's not as repulsive as you make it sound.

rhhardin said...

Rural bicycle rental station

Icepick said...

Since Crack left that is the only crack you are gonna get around here.

What, has Crack quit here? Sheesh, you do some actual work for a couple of days and the place goes to Hell.

It's hard to imagine Troop at a cabin on a lake, let alone "Up North"

Uh, he IS up north. Pretty much all of you are up north.

chickelit said...

Hush, Icepick. I'm speaking in "Sconnish.

Titus said...

You can't swing a cat without hitting one of those looks in Sconey.

In Mass that look is nonexistent.

tits.

Michael Haz said...

Trooper would do just fine here. Put a Packer cap on him and he'd fit right in. And he could make a few bucks if he brought some of Lee Lee's dresses with him in a variety of camo patterns.

chickelit said...

Put a Packer cap on him and he'd fit right in.

Slim chance that'll ever happen.

deborah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
deborah said...

Haz, yeah, my sister and I discussed both those sayings. Her husband wants to get a boat, and he's the last guy who should. Travels all over the Ohio through Illinois area a lot, has a 13 year-old boy, a 92 year-old mother two hours away, etc. But she's for it if that's what he really wants.

Trooper York said...

Wait a minute Icepick.

New York is not up north.

It is the center of the universe.

Sheeeesssshhhh.

Trooper York said...

I am tentatively planning a trip to Wisconsin if their lowly football team plays the great New York Giants in a playoff game.

Garage told me I can sleep in the back of one of his BMW's. All the roadkill I can eat.

Sounds appetizing.

Michael Haz said...

Trooper, I hope you make that trip, if for no reason than watching a game at Lambeau Field.

bagoh20 said...

I don't how you submit material to contribute to this blog, and maybe in this case it's better that I don't, so anyway I just posted it on my barely breathing blog.

I'm currently in the middle of tearing my house apart. I just intended to take out one tiny wall, but like picking a scab, I now have virtually no walls left in my house. I just kept demolishing walls until my living room, dining room and kitchen are now just one big room. Had to tear huge holes in the ceiling to install giant new beams to support the spans. So a little weekend wall removal has now morphed into a month-long project replacing 1000 sq. ft of ceiling, floors, and walls. It's some form of mental illness.

Anyway, while construction was ongoing, a couple of my close professional colleagues were demonstrating advanced negotiating techniques, and I caught it on video. I thought it might be instructive considering recent events and discussions here.

Negotiating

bagoh20 said...

BTW Haz, I think that design is probably the perfect boat, or perfect picnic table. The perfect picnic boat. Needs a barbeque though.

Titus said...

Boston is the hub of the universe.

You know which state, which surprised me, has lots of rednecks.....Connecticut. Not as much as Mississippi or Albama, natch.

I thought it was all Westport but it definitely is not.

New Haven is a major dump. Biggest dump of a city of any Ivy.

bagoh20 said...

"Boston is the hub of the universe."

I don't know. It looks kind of quiet. Like a vegan barbeque.

The Hub

Titus said...

Baggy that was just one day.

The city streets are full of pedestrian traffic. One of the most walkable cities in the country.

And our economy is doing well compared to the rest of the country, the real estate market is white hot, and we are building like crazy. The Seaport District is our newest hood.

It is difficult for the less educated though. And it's wicked expensive. The people are generally biches too. We were rated third rudest this year behing San Francisco and New York and we were pissed we weren't first. We will run your ass over on the roads too.

Michael Haz said...

BTW Haz, I think that design is probably the perfect boat, or perfect picnic table. The perfect picnic boat. Needs a barbeque though.

We discussed adding a BBQ rig to it. Problem is that it's top heavy as it is. The parts above water are heavy relative to the small amount of water the pontoons displace.

The thing is unstable. I've taken to calling it Meade.


rcocean said...

Chicks never understand the appeal of highly unstable, slightly dangerous, watercraft.

Sad.

Chip Ahoy said...

Etaiyo

That mean ouch in Japanese

exhelodrvr1 said...

Michael,
Are we allowed to comment about your contraption?

Michael Haz said...

Sure.

bagoh20 said...

"One of the most walkable cities in the country."

I'm just razzing you. I've been there, and I did a lot of walking around town. It's a great town for that, and Boston makes me enjoy drinking beer for some reason. It makes feel like a rebellious patriot that everybody agrees with. I also like that Boston has too many White people, which is good for us creepy ass-crackers, No?

bagoh20 said...

"Baggy that was just one day."

Only because the boat owner was having nicotine withdrawal. Just think, you might still be locked down if he had gotten away.

A terrorist could never hide in Haz's boat, and it wouldn't be such a useless eyesore in the backyard all winter. I think we have just seen the birth of the next Iphone-level success story. Haz, just promise to keep all those manufacturing jobs here in the U.S. Those look like the kind of high tech 21st century jobs we will need after 2 terms of President Sharpton.

exhelodrvr1 said...

You could launch drones from it.

Icepick said...

Slim chance that'll ever happen.

Ohhhhhh, I smell a bet coming on!

Icepick said...

Boston is the hub of the universe.

Northerners typically have such delusions. It comes from having their brains frozen year round.

Icepick said...

"One of the most walkable cities in the country."

Hardly a recommendation because of all the GD polar bears eating people.

bagoh20 said...

Icepick, you're gonna feel bad about all that in the winter when they are suffering in their little igloos. Have some compassion man - they don't know what they're doing. They forget about winter until it's too late, and then by March when they finally catch on that "hey, this happens every year", suddenly it's springtime and they forget what was so bad.

Just pity them and leave it at that. You don't really want people like that moving south anyway. They burn too easy.

JAL said...

Showed the pix to my son who is a mechanical wizard.

He thought it was great and laughed out loud.

Icepick said...

Just pity them and leave it at that. You don't really want people like that moving south anyway.

True dat. Florida was a nice sleepy little swamp full of peace loving alligators and water moccasins until the Yankees started moving here. Now we keep getting Ted Bundys and Aileen Wournoses, Al Sharpton keeps coming down, the Presidential candidates just won't leave us alone - I'm tellin' ya, it's a madhouse, and it's ALL IMPORTED. The tourists are pretty good, because they come here, spend their money, AND GO HOME! But the immigrants? We seriously need a border fence up on the northern frontier.

Icepick said...

Also, no pity for the igloo dwellers. There's no mention of snow in the bible when discussing the Garden of Eden. If you believe in that Darwin dude, we're all descended from a bunch if plains apes who evolved down near the equator.

Which is to say, living where snow shovels are standard equipment is an affront against God AND Nature!

Icepick said...

As is soccer, but that's another rant entirely.

Anonymous said...

On the lake I live on we have the lake patrol. These guys would be busted and hauled to shore, sadly because that is awesome. Folks here are so hoity toity.