Monday, July 29, 2013

Hold the phone up to Big Papi

Big Papy had an encounter with a phone after striking out the other night. For the video and story click here.*

This morning, I learned the phone still works, after all that punishment.

I don't know where that phone was made. But whoever made it, should be congratulating themselves today. I'm congratulating them from here as well.

Reactions to the Big Papi outburst vary. Most of them are fairly mild.
RT @cbsboston: Should Big Papi be punished for breaking a phone? It's this morning's #wbztalker t.co/NebFbRmQXE
My thoughts are that if it had been anybody else but big Papi (and maybe Pedroia) he would have been traded by the Red Sox by now. Big Papi lost his composure that night, in front of a lot of kids, wearing Red Sox jerseys with his number and his name on them.
The Red Sox may very well still trade him before the end of the season, but I believe they wont. Boston loves Big Papi. My hope is that he apologizes to the fans, sits himself down or makes some kind of restitution and moves on.

Again, kudos to the dugout phone designers, engineers and manufacturers. The people that make the things we take for granted and sometimes smash while in the grips of a tantrum.


* It appears that I can't link to older posts.

29 comments:

Chip Ahoy said...

Link to older post.

Click on title of post to open a new page with that name in the address bar and with the comments included beneath. Use that address in the address bar.

I think.

Trooper York said...

Lou Pinella and Paul O'Neil would destroy phones all the time. Phones, watercoolers, tables and chairs. It is because they give a shit.

Boston dumped all those losers who were more interested in eating chicken and drinking beer than paying attention to the game.

They need more guys like Big Papi not less.

But I hope they screw it up and get rid of him.

Chip Ahoy said...

But that is pedantic and not what I want to say. I want to say I do not believe the phone still works and if it does work it most likely works poorly. Afflicted with a crackling sound, one that whimpers, "Papi hit me."

Trooper York said...

Plus it don't natter anymore Lem.

Jeter is back. Home run in first at bat.

You might as well give up now amigo.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

You are right Chip. The reason why I thought it would not work is that I don't see the title of the post at the address bar. So I thought that meant it wasn't picking it up. It does. My assumption was in error.

Chip Ahoy said...

But that's not what I want to say either.

I just now got $100.00 in the mail in the form of Whole Foods swipe card. They have a store a few blocks up the street on 11th.

The note said, "that was a really good salad you made, here, enjoy this."

!

The moral of the story is to go ahead and exercise your full salad skills if even only to show off. In this case, another different place made the worst salad I ever had and I know they know better. I actually felt sorry for myself, like a little kid pouting, sitting there pushing limp leaves around on my plate, drowned and died in vinegar. So I said, next time allow me this part. And the next time I did. Bang. 100 bucks. First time that ever happened.

Cody Jarrett said...

Oh give me a break. I posted in your previous thread that the phone still works. Pay attention to what goes on around you, ya big dope!

(kisses, Lem, kisses and hugs!)

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Afflicted with a crackling sound, one that whimpers, "Papi hit me."

Anthropomorphic?

Cody Jarrett said...

Troop, Jeter will be lucky to last until September 1. He's old and creaky and his legs have a lot of innings on them. Plus he got CC Sabathia fat in the off season.

Of course he got a homer in his first AB. But as soon as he did Cashman let the pitcher's family go as promised.

bagoh20 said...

Lets not forget about the bat. That product seems well make too, even when used for an off-label porpose.

Cody Jarrett said...

I miss the old days when guys actually cared about the game and the win. So much better than today when so many pussies are just playing for their next check.

I miss the days when umpires that made bad calls would get bumped, when they'd have dirt kicked on them and all that stuff.

I miss when it was fun.

I haven't watched baseball for two years. I quit when they hired Bobby Valentine, and even though this year is supposedly different...I found that I just don't miss spending 4 hours a day watching these pussies spit and scratch their nuts.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I should have heard it that night, that the phone still worked. the announcer said it. I was focusing on the outburst.

Cody Jarrett said...

I believe the bat shattered though, Bags.

Trooper York said...

Youse guys have it wrong.

It is Manny Ramirez's butt that keeps saying "Papi hit me!"

Don't you read the Sporting News?

Cody Jarrett said...

It was funny the next day though, they came into the dugout and there was a vegetable can with a string hung up by the phone.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Jeter hit a home run on the first pitch of his first at bat back first day back in uniform.

That guy is a walking Joe DiMaggio.

Trooper York said...

All this bullshit about the phone is the continual feminization of America. Guys break things. They fight. They throw bean balls and spit at each other. That's what you do in baseball for crying out loud.

What would Ty Cobb say?

Trooper York said...

I would take Big Papi on my team anyday.

Of course I would make him ride in the trunk of the car on road trips since that is how he got into this country and I want him to feel comfortable and all.

Cody Jarrett said...

And I really admire Jeter. He's spent his whole career being a really good player and gracious human being. With the spotlight that's always on him waiting for a slip--that's impressive.

Plus...wasn't he tappin' Mariah Carey? She is not physically unattractive in any way.

Trooper York said...

That was very nice of you to say Lem.

Jeter is a lot like DiMaggio. That is why when Mariah Carey dies he is going to have someone put a fresh can of tuna fish on her grave every day. In remembrance.

Cody Jarrett said...

There is some seriously comical cross commenting going on here.

Trooper York said...

I have the definitive Jeter/Mariah Carey story to share with the class.

Trooper York said...

Diamonds are a girls best friend.

(Outside the Yankees Locker room in Jeter's rookie year, Joe Torre and Mel Sottlemeyer come out of the Locker room and run into Derek and his date in the hallway)
Joe Torre: Hey rook. Great game.
Derek Jeter: Thank you Mr. Torre. I would like you to meet my girl Mariah. Mariah this is my manager Mr. Torre.
Mariah Carey: So nice to meet you Joe. Derek loves you. He is always saying nice things about what you are teaching him. You are very wise.
Joe Torre: Why thank you. And I want you to know that my wife Ali loves your music. She has all your albums. So where are you kids off to?
Derek Jeter: Oh we are going out for a bite to eat.
Joe Torre: Yeah me too. I think I am going over to Rao's. For some reason I feel like some Bacala. You know some old fashioned stinky bacala like my grandmother used to make. I don't know why but all of a sudden I have an urge.
Derek Jeter: I guess that is an acquired taste.
Joe Torre: Yeah it is great once in a while but you wouldn't want to eat that every night.
Derek Jeter: You know Mr. Torre you always give me something to think about. See you tomorrow.

chickelit said...

Seems like a pretty phony scandal to me.

chickelit said...

The downside of Lem's baseball posts are that it drives all the women into the stands.

rcocean said...

Ty Cobb wouldn't say anything, he'd just climb in the stands and beat you half to death, even if you were a cripple.

The fan got a ticket refund though.

ndspinelli said...

MLB is in our camp about hitting phones. No suspension for round mound of eastbound and down.

ndspinelli said...

ChipS, $100 gift card is pretty fuckn' cool. Was there cannabis in that salad?

Trooper York said...

Here's an oldie but a goodie from last year:

Diamonds are a girls best friend:
"Hello?"
"Hi, is that you Derek?"
"Yes who is this?"
"It's me, Mimi.'
"Mimi who?"
"Com'on Derek, you can't have forgot me already?"
"Is that you Cashman? Stop fuckin around."
"It's me Jeets. Mariah. Mariah Carey."
"I don't believe you."
"Look I can prove it to you.....(she caterwauls a high note that makes Derek's cat jump off the balcony)"
"That doesn't prove anything. Cashman has been a soprano ever since Steinbrenner cut his balls off in 1997."
"Well if I am not me....how would I know that you used to like when I put on that nun outfit with the Sally Field mask and...."
"Ok...Ok so it is you Mimi. Was up? I haven't heard from you in a while."
"I just wanted you to know that I am expecting. With twins."
"With a Twin? What you been fucking Butch Wynegar? He's the only guy who would be bat shit crazy enough to bang your smelly twat."
"No I am married to Nick Cannon. And let me tell you something baseball boy. He has a cannon."
"Man he would be better off if he had a mop. The way you used to sweat and stink. It was like banging a squid."
"Fuck you you no good piece of shit I can't believe the Yankees gave you a con...(Jeter hangs up the phone)"
"Jeeez. Everybody's a critic. That poor bastard. First he had to clean up the Hoff's vomit for two years and then last year he had to shave Howie Mandel's head, Sharon Osbourne's lip and Pierce Morgan's ball sack every night. Now he has to do it with that toxic waste dump twat. Man I feel sorry for him. It's almost as bad as playing for the Mets. Almost."