Saturday, November 26, 2016

One Monkey Don't Steal No Show

The problem with Cheeta is the problem you have with most monkeys. They are totally oversexed and will screw anything that moves. They are lazy and they are always late.  Except when they can play golf. 

Basically all they are concerned about is having monkey sex and pinching a loaf which they then love to fling at you. It was real hard to work when one of your stars is always whacking it or having sex somewhere off in a corner. It was like working with Mickey Rourke when he was still on the stuff. 

We caught a break when we cast Maureen O’Sullivan as Jane. You see she liked that hot monkey sex just as much as Cheeta ever did. So she would just take that randy chimp by the hand and disappear into her trailer for hours at a time. When they came back they were both glassy eyed and ready for direction. Of course we kept it all secret at the time. We were afraid that it would come out when Maureen’s daughter Mia Farrow was born.Mia definitely resembled her mother’s hirsute co-star. I guess that was why her mom always called her a “little monkey.”

(One Monkey Don’t Steal No Show, The E True Hollywood Story of Cheeta)


ampersand said...

The original Cheeta died in 2011. he was 80 years old.
This is from the Trivia section for Johnny Weismuller on IMDB

When Weissmuller was introduced to the first Cheetah in his Tarzan films in 1931 (he worked with 8 chimpanzees altogether), the chimp's trainer told him to show no fear or the animal would attack him. As Weissmuller, dressed in his Tarzan loincloth and hunting knife, walked up to the animal, it bared its teeth, growled at him and lunged as if to attack him. Weissmuller took the knife out of the sheath and held it in front of the chimp's nose, to make sure he saw and smelled it. He then slammed the animal on the side of the head with the knife handle. He put the knife back in its sheath and held out his hand to the chimp. It glared at him, bared his teeth again, then changed its mind, grinned at Weissmuller and jumped up and hugged him. Weissmuller never had any further problems with the chimp--although other cast and crew members did--and it followed him around like a puppy dog during all the pictures they worked together.

Trooper York said...

Little know fact.

Mel Gibson did the same thing to Danny Glover.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

The Secret of Steve McQueen's Success:

"I first met Steve McQueen while working on the TV show 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.' Steve was the star. Apparently, there had been two stuntmen there Steve didn't like, and they were both fired. They called me because they had scenes to film and I lived about five minutes from the studio.

"When I showed up on the set, I walked past Steve, who was sitting around. We were both taken with how much we looked like each other. He asked me to get him a coffee. I wasn't happy that he was treating me like a gofer. I walked up to him and said, ‘I'm going to make you look better than you can make yourself look. Just don't blow my close-ups.'

"As I walked away, I could hear him scream to the director or someone, 'Fire him.' Apparently they had said to him in response, ‘No, no, he has to do the stunt first. We'll fire him after if you want.' 

This image was lost some time after publication.
"When it was time to do the first stunt, the coordinator told me Steve wanted it done as athletic as possible — meaning realistic and seemingly impossible. The stunt called for me to go through a low window in a barn, roll off the ground, leap up, vault over two horses, land on Steve's animal and ride off.

"I spent some time walking the set to make sure the ground was clean and that there were no surprises. I moved the horses a little closer together and moved a rock that I could use to spring off to go over the horses.

"When the director yelled, 'Action!,' I went through the window, did my somersault, ran 15 feet to the horses, leaped over two of them, landed on Steve's horse and took off. Steve couldn't believe it. I worked out daily on parallel bars and other gymnastic equipment in my backyard, so vaulting over the horses wasn't a problem.

"On my way back, I brought him a coffee, and he laughed. From that day forward I worked with him on every movie he made, including his last, The Hunter, in 1980, where I had to hang off the Chicago elevated train traveling at 55 mph.

deborah said...

Good story, Evi.