Saturday, November 26, 2016
One Monkey Don't Steal No Show
The problem with Cheeta is the problem you have with most monkeys. They are totally oversexed and will screw anything that moves. They are lazy and they are always late. Except when they can play golf.
Basically all they are concerned about is having monkey sex and pinching a loaf which they then love to fling at you. It was real hard to work when one of your stars is always whacking it or having sex somewhere off in a corner. It was like working with Mickey Rourke when he was still on the stuff.
We caught a break when we cast Maureen O’Sullivan as Jane. You see she liked that hot monkey sex just as much as Cheeta ever did. So she would just take that randy chimp by the hand and disappear into her trailer for hours at a time. When they came back they were both glassy eyed and ready for direction. Of course we kept it all secret at the time. We were afraid that it would come out when Maureen’s daughter Mia Farrow was born.Mia definitely resembled her mother’s hirsute co-star. I guess that was why her mom always called her a “little monkey.”
(One Monkey Don’t Steal No Show, The E True Hollywood Story of Cheeta)