Sunday, June 15, 2014

USA Today Oped: Dads, we're the new moms

"Dads are the new moms. Or at least the evidence suggests so. With women entering the workforce in larger numbers and the price of child care escalating, the number of stay-at-home-dads has shot up in recent years. I know; I am one of them. Or to be more precise, I am a work-at-home-dad. I just recently became a dad for the second time, and my wife is our family's breadwinner."
We are still the exception, but it is not unthinkable that our situation could become the norm. After all, a new Pew report shows there were about 2 million stay-at-home dads in 2012.

On one hand, there has never been a better time to be a stay-at-home dad. Back in the 1970s, dads were seen as irrelevant to their child's development. But new research cited in Paul Raeburn's new book, Do Fathers Matter?, finds that the more we are around, the happier and more successful our children become, both from a biological and psychological standpoint. (read more)


36 comments:

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

I thought it was Tom Hanks in that movie, not Michael Keaton.

It made for a frustrating search since I didn't remember the title and sought to find it by searching the star of the movie.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

A hashtag called #EndFathersDay has trended since Friday.

Now I'm reading that it was an elaborate hoax...

"The prank was started by 4chan’s politically incorrect board, /pol/, in an effort to rile up feminists and make them (and men) look like idiots."

Who knows if that's even true.

Shouting Thomas said...

My dad was a wonderful guy. I sure miss him.

He loved being with and caring for children. He was a great companion and friend.

Being a parent isn't about ideology.

Caring for children is not a burden. It's joyful.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

"Dad's: we're the new moms"

Oh, blow it out your ass. We're being played by the media so we can be collected and delivered to advertisers.

Go to "Men's Health" or "Men's Fitness" or "Muscle and Fitness" or even the used-to-be-great "Esquire."

It's all Cosmopolitan Magazine aimed at men.

Sadz.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Kids stare at men. little barely walking kids stare at men. I don't know how to put that delicately but it's been my experience that they do.

What does that mean? Or Am I imagining things again?

Has anybody here noticed that too?

Unknown said...

That was funny. I don't think I ever watched that movie.

interesting weekend so far.

Last September, two young adults were swept away by flood waters and died. A car filled with four, two died. Pitch dark panic caught in a roaring river of water and rocks.
Yesterday, at an Art book signing, I met the father of one of the survivors in that car. Young adults simply attempting to get home for the evening after a birthday celebration. He explained --If his young adult kid had not been pushed into a tree, his son would have died. He went on to tell more of story of that night. Terrifying and sad.
His son was covered in mud and in shock . A firefighter happened to spot him in the pitch black night and saved him.
Anyway the dad told me that his son was interviewed by all the major AM show TV networks. (Today Show etc..) He said that after a few interviews, his son began to hate it. It was all a false spectacle, with boilerplate forced emotion. This kid was traumatize with the loss of two of his friends and he only wanted to honor their memory.
All the TV networks wanted was a sensationalized story.

He said Matt Lauer was a big asshole.

edutcher said...

It's nothing to crow about.

After all, it wasn't not called the man-cession for nothing.

If we had a real President, they'd all be back to work. The Demos and the Whigs are trying to do to white men what they did to black men. I wonder what the excuse will be. Can't be slavery.

Because, what, bonded indenture, the white man's burden, the Choom Gang?

Lem said...

Kids stare at men. little barely walking kids stare at men. I don't know how to put that delicately but it's been my experience that they do.

What does that mean? Or Am I imagining things again?

Has anybody here noticed that too?


I haven't noticed that, but, if it happens, it's probably the demonization of all men as potential child molesters.

Something else we owe the Lefties.

Unknown said...

The cowgirl's horse is pregnant. Did you know a horse can give birth at any time between 10 and 12 months? I didn't. Her poor horse is at the 12 month mark and she looks so unconformable.

Cowgirl has a baby monitor and every 15 minutes we watch. At one point yesterday evening, the horse was down and we screamed - this is it!
Nope. False alarm.

So I asked --who is the horse daddy? (Her male horses are all, ah, - you know, chop chop)
It's one of Buck's horses.
(but of course)
The joy of this is blunted by the stress of her son and his new found pot addiction. at 18 he has his medical marijuana license and he is selling it. Using too. He ended up in the hospital 1 week ago. Bad trip and paranoia made him check himself into a hospital. Sadly, it was the wrong place (Centennial Peaks - do not go there) as they pumped him with 5-6 anti-psychotic drugs. It made the situation worse and he ended up on a flight for life ride to St. Anthony's in Denver.
Almost died.
Her husband is out of town and she had to ask the son to leave. Escalation. Drugs or the family.
Pick. She was a little freaked out and needed a friend. So we sat with wine and watched the baby monitor.

Unknown said...

uncomfortable.

me spelz good.

Icepick said...

We're being played by the media so we can be collected and delivered to advertisers.

We just need to channel our inner Hannibal Lecter:

"A census taker tried to quantify me once...."

I think you know the rest. Just remember that the next time you meat anyone in advertizing or marketing.

Meade said...

Adapt or die.

Aridog said...

April Apple ... now you and "cowgirl" do know that watching the equine baby monitor is like watching a pot of water waiting for it to boil ;)

My experience is that anywhere in the 12th month, which up here in Michigan means early February, the mare will wait until about 2:19 AM to go down and begin labor. I think it is a rule.

Joking aside, I assume one of you has palpated the mare to be certain there is no breech issue or other displacement barrier.

Unknown said...

off to the fresh air Haz thread.

Unknown said...

Aridog - I read cowgirl's reminder to do list out loud - nipples, wax, this, that - I don't know. I'm clueless.
She has that all under control.

Unknown said...

Do not reach in for the placenta. Let nature and gravity do the work. If no placenta in 3 hours - call the doc.
I remember that check list item.

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

The honey moon has inspired her to name the new foal or colt, when it arrives, - Moonshine.

Called over - still no baby.
but the nipples are getting waxy!
And a bit of blood. Still, who knows? hours or days.

Aridog said...

April Apple...you are not clueless. You had the sense to be at your friend's side when she needed you, and I gather for more than just equine foal delivery.

The "do not reach in for the placenta" is usually a postpartum caution. If more than a 3-4 hours or so pass with out placenta discharge, a veterinary doctor should be called to examine the mare.

Speaking for myself, at least, we tend to "love" our horses, and dogs for that matter, and when under the pressure of labor & delivery by them, the presence of a good friend can be very relaxing. You'd be surprised how helpful some plain old common sense assistance can be when you're sitting waiting at Oh Dark Thirty...and a trusted friend is with you.

Aridog said...

April Apple ....Hours. Or right dang now! :)

Unknown said...

I can tell you know what you are talking about Ari. She loves her horses and is very knowledgeable. and yes - w/ her hubby out of town, she needed company. Happy to be there - my pleasure. I offered to spend the night, but she was OK. She gets up every 3 hours during the night to tend to her horse. I joke with her that when I die, I want to come back as one of her horses. That's the sweet spot.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Kids stare at men. little barely walking kids stare at men. I don't know how to put that delicately but it's been my experience that they do.

What does that mean? Or Am I imagining things again?


Because a man's liable to actually do stuff that might be interesting to the kid: Build a road, negotiate a deal, hit a few balls out of a park, etc. At least, that's my conclusion based on what I see with kids. One time he might stare and blush at a real "fancy"-looking lady, but if the kid's at all physically or mechanically inclined or socially engaged, I think he knows that guys are where all the action in society and the world's at, and react or observe accordingly.

Trooper York said...

I feel for all the kids that don't know what it is to have a father's love. To have someone to take them to the game. To teach them to throw a spiral or tie a necktie. Too many kids miss out.

It is a damn shame.

Trooper York said...

It is amazing the opprobrium and hate heaped on people who might say the wrong thing but the athletes who have multiple children with multiple partners are given a free pass. Those are the people who should be banned from the league.

Talk about your bad conduct!

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

As long as men are going to be reduced to nothing more than money and the ridicule that comes from so debasing oneself, Trooper, then athletes are going to be justified in fathering as many offspring as their bank accounts can afford. Plain and simple.

Aridog said...

R & B....sigh.

I know you are way smarter than that remark.

But it no longer matters. Does it?

Trooper York said...

I have to disagree Ritmo. People want to hold everyone to a standard. Say what the politically correct deem racist or homophobic and you lose your job. Because you are not deemed fit to be part of this society. A guy with seven babies with seven baby mommas is not fit to be in this society. He should lose his job. You want to curb bad behavior. Why not curb bad behavior that actually hurts someone instead of just words that are dust in the wind.

rcocean said...

"It is amazing the opprobrium and hate heaped on people who might say the wrong thing but the athletes who have multiple children with multiple partners are given a free pass."

I thought Multi-tasking was a good thing?

rcocean said...

"A guy with seven babies with seven baby mommas is not fit to be in this society."

Why blame the guy? Did he force the baby mommas to have unprotected sex, not have an abortion, and have his kids?

Just asking.

rcocean said...

And by "guy" I mean Lem. We all know he's a stud.

rcocean said...
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Trooper York said...

We are blaming he guy because it is Fathers Day.

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Yeah, but that's your standard. Not society's standard.

Society's standard is they don't care as long as the money's there. A rich famous guy will hire someone to stand in and act as a "father figure".

Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

If society cared then there wouldn't be a presumption to favor the mother in custody disputes.

Mothers are presumed to offer a personal influence in the child's upbringing.

Men are only valued as much as their income provides above the poverty level.

It's been that way for a while. Modern society takes it to new levels, but it's an old prejudice.

rcocean said...

BTW, I like "Mr. Mom" because I love Terri Garr and Michael Keaton.

Trooper York said...

What I am saying is that societies standards should change. If the standard is that you say racist or homophobic things than the standard should also be that if are so immoral as to have seven or eight or twelve children out of wedlock...well then you should lose your job. Actions not words. Because everyone is so quick to make people lose their jobs these days.


Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together said...

Of course that should change.