Don't get me wrong. I don't HATE doing housework. Things like dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, cleaning the toilets, washing windows, gardening, mowing, raking leaves and so on. It has to be done, or you end up living in filth and become an episode of the The Hoarders.
There are some aspects of the tasks that I love...like cooking. However, then that task is linked to a not so fun one like dishes and scrubbing pots.
The reality is that someone has to do it. It isn't just women who do housework. This isn't a feminist rant by any means. Men often bear the burden as well.
The ideal situation is that the tasks get divided up into "who likes to do this?" or " who is best suited for this physcially" and especially, "who has the time for this shit?". Being retired, not having a 9-5 job outside of the home and DP has to work long and hard outside of the home....those tasks almost all fall to me. So. I do it.....mostly....sorta (I didn't call myself Dust Bunny Queen for no reason) We could hire a housekeeper, but I am too thrifty for that and who wants someone pawing around your house. We do hire a yard worker, sometimes, for the heavy lifting.
Now....onto my explanation of why his wife was complaining (whining about the housework) from MY personal perspective.
1. There actually is a level of satisfaction in a job well done. A sparkling clean bathroom. A tidy, neat, well arranged, clutter free, dust free living space. Clean kitchen. Fresh laundry folded put away and an organized closet.
2. While there is pride in a job well done, often people (read husband and kids) take it for granted. As if a magical Geni came in and did it.
3. Where is the positive feed back. Speaking to my friend: "Do you admire your wife's work? Express your gratification at her accomplishments" even something as mundane as cleaning the toilet? Yeah. Doing the dishes isn't any big skillful accomplishment, but everyone likes some appreciation. I don't mean groveling to her. Just. Wow the house looks nice
4. THIS IS THE BIGGIE: You do your job. You are proud and happy with your clean house and THEN...BAM! you have to do it all over again.
Every day....like Groundhog Day.
Think of it this way, I said, to my construction working friend. How would you feel if you built a staircase or framed in a house and you did a great job. THEN the next day you return and everything has been disassembled. You have to build it again. All your progress from yesterday is gone!
Next day... and the next....and the next....with no end in sight. Every day the SAME 2x4 studs. The SAME stair treads. The same the same the same......wouldn't you be a bit frustrated?.