The Thrill of Victory

.....and the Agony of Da Feet.

I am very upset because I had to wear a real pair of shoes today to go to a week. First time in three months.

Here you can see a little perspective as we compare my clodhoppers to the wife's dainty tootsies.

I hope I  have grossed out Rabel enough for one day. Grossing people out is what I live for.

AllenS has been lurking around here

And he managed to take a picture of me getting a ticket for having too many logs on my truck:

I don't know - that looked like just about the right amount of wood for an afternoon's work. The officer said something about "Shitload" but I think he was having a bad day.

Tree music, maybe fo

AllenS Foto Funnies

After watching the movie about National Lampoon magazine (which I used to read all the time) I decided to call this "Foto Funnies" to honor their pioneering work in print humor.

I know AllenS got this in the mail, he did not write the caption, but that said, I would have used the word "bobsled" rather than "bobsleigh". The latter sounds like homicide. 

AllenS Foto Funnies:

 

Overheard at Lem's

Deborah wrote...

"Allen, did you give up on corn? I love wood heat. I love the smell of oak piled up by the wood stove."

Funny you should ask - I happen to have photographs of just how organized and efficient AllenS is when it comes to using wood heat: The first shows AllenS' wood burning stove and the chimney that carries the smoke out of his basement.

The next one show how neatly he stacks the firewood against the wall.

This one shows more firewood, also neatly stacked, in another portion of his basement.

He has a walk-in basement so the wood comes in at ground level, gets stacked and burned, and the heat warms his whole house. But for as awesome as all of that is, and from my perspective just stacking wood that neatly is an accomplishment, you have to understand that AllenS hand dug that basement and poured all of that concrete himself, using a cement mixer, not just dialing 1-800-Deliver-a-Truckload-of-Cement.

Hand dug - let that sink in for a while. I know how to operate a shovel pretty well, but that is a mighty undertaking. When one contemplates the amount of labor involved in that job it makes all of the things I have done pale in comparison - that stuff is real right there.  Well done, AllenS - once again you have proved to be the king of gittin' 'er done.

Lines are gone!

Back in the world

Our resident engineer, AllenS, sent me some more pictures, these are of his wood elevator.

This is the modified hay elevator - ribbed steel side rails were added to keep the split firewood travelling safely up the conveyor.

Here the elevator is in place, attached to the side of the corn crib. It is driven by an electric motor and lifts the firewood up and into the crib, which now holds wood rather than corn.

This picture shows the trailer load of firewood backed up to the elevator which allows the operator to move wood from the trailer to the storage bin with a minimum of effort. 

All in all, it is a well designed system. Farmall, corn crib, trailer, elevator - all working to the benefit of the gentleman farmer who will remain warm this winter thanks to some ingenuity, a lot of hard work, and the presence of oak wilt. 

And, cropped for clarity, a classic Chevrolet pickup earns its keep up on the farm, too.

Excellent work, AllenS - I imagine you are using wood heat as you read this - it's cold even down here in Dixie.

The heat is on.

Overheard at Lem's, or Tales From the Wisconsin Woods

AllenS said...

"...Hauling cut pieces of wood back to some cement so I can split it. I'll send you some pics, 60 of The Contraption. My latest invention."

And so he did. Behold:

Notice the fabrication details - the orientation of the parts is labeled. Blocks made from dimensional lumber are used for support, as are jack stands. The beverage container is right at hand.

The trailing wheels are from a Minnesota hay mower. They have built-in caster and are individually sprung. Minimal tire scrub with that setup.

Here is the finished machine in action. It is connected to the Farmall (FTW!) hydraulic system and lift levers. 

Here is a side view - note that all the axles and spindles are cross drilled with pins held in place with spring safeties. The lever arm has about a 3:1 ratio from the hydraulic cylinder to the piece being lifted. The round is held in place by tongs - pointy!

That, my friends, is true American ingenuity in action - using machines to reduce the amount of heavy lifting a fellow does. Top notch fabrication, also. 

Tongs for the memories.

AllenS reported traveling to the Hamptons......developing!

Christie Brinkley is open to finding love with the ‘right person’

by Lindsey Kupfer July 24, 2017

Christie Brinkley is single and ready to mingle.

“I’m loving my summer and [I’m] kind of really too busy [to date],” she told “Entertainment Tonight” at Social Life’s St. Barth Hamptons Gala this weekend. “But I’d slow it down a little if the right person came along.”

At the end of last year, the 63-year-old supermodel was spotted out with David Foster, but a source later said the pair were just friends.

Do over meme

ht/AllenS

Today's Twitter pick of the litter

Hillary coughs something into her glass of water... I hope blogger doesn't send me an email warning me against offending advertisers... it's that bad ;-)

What is Hillary coughing up! This doesn't look healthy at all!#illaryClinton #HillarysHealth #HillarysWheelchair pic.twitter.com/hDQp5DAjpQ

— Neil Turner (@NeilTurner_) September 6, 2016

.
I love this one... no comment necessary. 

“You can paint a wonderful world where nobody ever criticizes you and you’re always the starting QB!“ pic.twitter.com/hCUjCUTWAv

— steve jorbz (@echo4h) September 6, 2016

.
This is a pic inside Hillary's campaign plane. The media gawking at Hillary. Maybe that's what caused that hacking coughing fit.

Seriously, WTF is wrong with people who look at ANY politician with such an adoring gaze? pic.twitter.com/yxAGTXXhar

— Lee Ritz, MD (@lee_ritz) September 6, 2016

I was in the Hamptons yesterday.......

And I ran into Christie Brinkley. I told her that I had AllenS email and this was her reaction.

She got overheated and this gay dude had to cool her down.

Christie Brinkley got sick of John Mellencamp's "Redneck Ways"......AllenS hardest hit!

Christie Brinkley got sick of John Mellencamp’s ‘redneck ways’

By Richard Johnson

August 10, 2016 | 7:15pm

  New York Post Page Six

Christie Brinkley had to part with John Mellencampbecause she couldn’t take his hellbent political opinions and his redneck ways, sources say.

The supermodel is a fixture in the fancy social circles of the Hamptons and is a Hillary Clinton supporter, while Mellencamp still lives in southern Indiana and sometimes sounds like a Donald Trump fan, though he isn’t.

Christie Brinkley and John Mellencamp have broken up.....AllenS is updating his EHarmony Profile!

Christie Brinkley and John Mellencamp have broken up

By Bryan Hood and Ian Mohr

August 9, 2016 | 2:10pm

 Page Six New York Post

Life has gotten in the way of Christie Brinkley andJohn Mellencamp’s relationship, so they’ve called it quits after a year of dating.

A source told us that “it was the distance. He really didn’t like coming to New York and she was always on a plane going to his homes in Indiana and Daufuskie,” an island in South Carolina.

A spokeswoman for the former couple confirmed the split to Page Six, saying, “Both the mileage between their homes and their heavy career demands interfered with their ability to maintain the relationship. They vowed to remain best of friends.

Strange Old Vehicles

h/t AllenS

What really happened to the Hillary emails

Link to video

h/t AllenS

Seven Years of Obama...

h/t AllenS

Overheard last year at Lem's...

...AllenS said (the day after Trump announced his candidacy):

 

BERNIE SANDERS! Yeah, baby!

How cool would it be if Bernie and The Donald faced off in the election?

June 16, 2015 at 7:11 PM

AllenS was prescient!

Did you ever wonder how they did the music for The Good, the Bad & the Ugly?

Link to source

AllenS:  Even if you've never seen "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" with Clint Eastwood…..this is just great. A wonderful lesson in sound effects. Stay tuned  til' the guy whistles!!!

Link to photo i wish i could post here but the internet is not letting me.

The Redneck Book of Manners

***GENERAL*** 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. Its considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home! *** DINING OUT *** 1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. 2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs. 3. Slow dancing at the local Waffle House is acceptable provided you pay your fair share of the jukebox. *** ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME *** 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are. 3. The beer keg shold not obstruct anyone's path walking through the middle of the living room. *** PERSONAL HYGIENE *** 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. *** DATING (Outside the Family) *** 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say tomorrow! ; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. 4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, "ya sure don't sweat much for a fat broad." *** WEDDINGS *** 1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. 5. Remember, the buffet food should be consumed on the premises and not for your personal takeout for tomorrow's dinner. 6. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack. *** DRIVING ETIQUETTE *** 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. 6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession. *** TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER *** 1. All the DNA is the same. 2. There are no dental records. 3. Same evidence: Murderer was last seen leaving the crime scene in a beat up pickup truck. H/t AllenS

What exactly is a "full load"?

H/t AllenS