Things desired.

* Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. 

Or otherwise just shut up.

* As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. 

* Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. 

I did. They called me misogynist, xenophobic, anti immigration, homophobic, Islamophobic, transphobic, narrow minded, bigoted, agist, classist, fascist, puppy-kicking hater of cats.  

* Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. 

IKR? Apparently you don’t get cable.

* If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. 

I could also get some great ideas on clothing, automobiles, furniture, gardening, cooking and music, electronics, photography, dancing. I compare shoes, and I hate yours. Hairstyles and personal grooming. Have you seen Pinterest? Great place for comparing.

* Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. 

* Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. 

Xeriscaping is the new grass. 

* Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

How else could one become an old tired worn out fuddy-duddy bereft of humor averse to fun?  

* Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. 

* Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

What?

Oh, wait, wait, wait, I got this. I got this.

Being tired and lonely creates fear.

Right?

I know as a fact, being exhausted and alone creates space to think, creates opening for spirit to enter. Have I ever got stories for you. I mean it. I can go on for a very long time. For example, just one. Just one for starters:

There I was in hospital again. Just me in a clean dark room. Again. Me and a machine going beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

And my state of mind was such that I drifted in and out of sleep. 

Now, these are transition states, brainwaves actually, the whole thing is actually measured, sinking, and sinking, and sinking to dreams, then rising and rising and rising to wakefulness, back to the hard solid physical world of pain and suffering that is actually slower and thicker, more dense, less energetic than the lighter spiritual place where dreaming occurs. And in this transition state I am not alone. Never. Not once. 

A traveling companion is with me. Always somebody with me. One in particular is a very old person in the form of a youth. A small youth. Male. Always hanging around. Always. Somehow we’re connected. But he won’t let me see him. I cannot actually look straight at him. Like some rule he has that prevents it. I can only sense him. I can only catch fleeting glimpses in the periphery.

And I tried.

I asked him and he said, "no." 

And I realize as I am rising that I really have to go to the bathroom back there in the physical world. And in that transition I say to him, “Do you have to go to the bathroom too?” And now I’m fully awake and getting up out of the hospital bed and heading to the bathroom and I verbalize to the person I’m leaving behind, “Oh yeah, that’s right. You don’t have a body.” 

And then I’m standing there in the antiseptic clean  bathroom taking a piss thinking, “Well that was weird.” That guy really was there.

Still is. 

But now I’m never that exhausted and alone.

* Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. 

Oh man, they made a song about this. 

* And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. 

Max Ehrmann 

And stop bossing everybody around all the time. The whole ‘I know better than you” schtick is unattractive. 

And what’s all this about “persons?” Is there some distinction between persons and people? You talk funny.

This is so 1970's

That's like what, forty-five years ago.

Speaking of corn ...  

I made tuna fish salad from frozen tuna. That's my new thing. No more tinned tuna for me. Not when those frozen tuna triangles are so excellent. 

I tried a new thing and cooked the tuna triangle in the microwave right in its plastic shrink wrap package. From frozen. It turned out excellently. 

How slipshod is that?

That would get me kicked right out of Le Cordon Bleu.

Right on my butt on the cobblestone street.  

But I didn't have any mayonnaise. So I used sour cream and yogurt that I made. 

But it was still too plain without onion or garlic or herbs or spices. 

So I added an entire can of corn from the pantry. 

And generous jalapeño from a jar. 

And frozen pearl onions. 

And the whole thing together is freaking awesome.