The Best Movie Ever (For 20 Minutes)

I have to agree with the nebbishy nerd who made this video. "Streets of Fire" is one of my all-time favorite films. It is a retelling of the classic John Wayne movie "The Searchers" with bikers replacing the Apache's. The music was composed by the great Jim Steinman who wrote every one of Meat Loaf's hits. In fact, if you love Meat Loaf's music then you love Jim Steinman. Directed by the best Western director since John Ford in the amazingly talented Walter Hill, this movie is a classic. The first twenty minutes and the last ten are amongst the best movies I have ever seen. Nobody could keep that up for an entire film. Nobody does. Yeah, it's pulp. But it is sublime pulp.

Do yourself a favor and rewatch it. You won't be dissapointed.

What the Republicans need to do in the Midterms...

One of the top ten fight scenes in any Western ever made.

RIP Sonny!

I will always think of you as Mississippi. 

A Western Icon sets the record straigh.

Sam Elliot talks with Marc Maron on the What the Fuck Podcast. Sam talks about the gay western that some twat from New Zealand made which is up for an Oscar.

Maron is a good interviewer even though he is a commie cunt.

Sam is the real deal. He is great in the new Series 1883.

1883 - Official Trailer

Real Life Characters Explained

Jeese who would have thought that Tom Hanks would want to play Meade?

I hope they will have to get Ruth Buzzi for the wine-soaked spouse in the biopic.

I mean Hanks defamed Walt Disney and Mr. Rodgers so I guess he decided to set his sights lower.

This TV is not big enough for the both of us pilgrim.

 

Life is full of compromise. 

We were hanging out with the wife's best friend not too long ago and she went on and on about the return of those nasty whores from "Sex in the City." She told us she couldn't wait to watch and in fact played the old series in background while we were visiting.

So, when this shit came on the television, I agreed to watch it with her. Boy did it suck cocks in Hell. It was a politically correct crap fest from the get-go. I don't even want to detail all the bullshit because it isn't worth the effort. I mean the nasty redhead who is a lesbian in real life is turning lesbo on the show. The only character I liked was the slutty one and she refused to be part of this shitfest. The Law-and-Order Jerk off who plays Horse Faces husband croaks in the first episode. However, this was not enough to save him as he is being Me-Tooed on the internet by a bunch of bims who suddenly remember they were victimized by him. Which could be true. I mean he participated in victimizing me by being part of this bullshit. 

Anyhoo this was so laughable bad that the wife agreed we never had to watch it again. 

As part of the deal we then put on 1883.

1883 is the prequal to Kevin Costner's Yellowstone which is one of the most popular shows on cable. Because it is an old-fashioned show with old fashioned values. When there is a problem, they solve it by shooting someone. Like the Rifleman or Have Gun Will Travel. 1883 is the prequal starring Tim McGraw, Faith Hill and the great Sam Elliott. It is very well done and historically accurate so far. I particularly enjoyed the cameos especially Billy Bob Thornton as Big Jim Courtright one of the Old West marshals who gets short shrift in comparison to more famous ones like Earp or Hickock. 

I highly recommend it. The wife liked it. Hell, I even think ed will like it. Check it out if you can.

But please by all that's holy stay away from that twat Sarah Jessica Horseface. Watch a real horse opera. 

WKRLEM-TV: This is what you should watch instead of the National Felons League

Hey is Blake the film critic at The Ace Of Spades HQ?

 You know I have been a faithful reader of the Ace of Spades HQ and I have noticed some clues about their main movie critic. He uses a lot of terms that our old friend Blake used to use when posting at my old blog. For instance he calls his son The Boy and his girl The Flower as he writes about their reactions to the various movies he is reviewing.

This week he writes an interesting review about Westerns that plays into what edutcher and I always talk about. I am ever more convinced that it it s Blake. 

I wonder if I can persuade him to comment over here?

Edutcher Western Theater

 

"Why did you ask me out Marshal? I thought you were a homo?"
"No that's Doc Holliday. He likes gladiator movies. I swing both ways. I am an acrobat."
"Well that's nice but you can put me down now."
"But I like to show off my muscles carrying you around like this."
"That's fine but I want to walk on my own two feet. And one more thing."
"Yes?"
"Stop staring at my tits.

Que rechula es Katy

I think you get what Marlon, Ernie and Louie saw in her.

Do you ever feel that way?

Pat Garret and Billy the Kidd is one of the least popular of the great Sam Peckinpah's movies. Introducing the soporific Kris Kristofferson and the execrable Bob Dylan favorite of dried out twats everywhere. It did have several excellent actors including James Coburn, Slim Pickens and LQ Jones. With one of my favorite actresses of all time Katy Jurado.

Katy was one of the best actors to ever come out of Mexico. She was praised for her performances in such films as High Noon and One Eyed Jacks. Well all right she got the role because she sucked Marlon Brando's one eyed Jack but still. She even denied Jesus in Barabbas. She was in that because she was married to one of the stars. Ernest Borgnine.

Yes that's right she was married to Ernie. What is even more impressive was that she was the long time lover of Louis L'Amour. Many of the firey Mexican characters in his novels were based on her.

She must of been a piece of work.

The studio took the film away from Sam and it was a dismal flop. He had his own cut which came out many years later which was voted the 126 best film of all time which is quite unbelievable. The thing I most remember is the song that came out of it.

Do you ever feel like you are "Knockin on Heavens Door?"

“Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.” ― John Wayne

I want to address Ed's epic post in segments because there is so much to talk about.


"There's something bigger than us."

There is a lot of truth in this. Most Westerns have the underlying theme of bigger issues under the surface of the story they are telling. Westerns started of course in novels and dime novels that were popular before the advent of movies and television. In these novels the story is often set against the backdrop of bigger issues that transcend the plot.

I trace the Western from the Leatherstocking Tales of James Fenimore Cooper. Hawkeye is the genesis of the heroic yet stoic frontiersman who was the precursor of the cowboy. The seminal novel "Last of the Mohicans" is the most famous but I prefer "The Pioneers" which was in fact the most popular of his novels during his lifetime. Natty Bumppo is the stoic hero who is the prototype of the cowboy played by people like the Duke, Gary Cooper and Clint Eastwood.

Movies that illustrate the thought that there are bigger issues include "Fort Apache" "The Magnificent Seven"
"High Noon" "Last of the Mohicans" "They Died With Their Boots On" and "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance."

Here is the Duke addressing it directly.

WKRLEM Ok Ok....its...the....Gunfight at the O.K.Corral

With subtitles for Sixty.

Also in French is Chip Ahoy is watching. Just sayn'

WKRLEM: My heros have always been Cowboys.

It's true.

Now we don't get any more Westerns. Just Superheroes.

Doc Holliday must die!

Doc and Hardin walked over to the Drover’s Cottage to have dinner. They took a table at the back in the corner where each could put their backs to the wall and look out over the dining room. Both ordered the special. Fried potatoes. Beans. Huge steaks. Blood rare and juicy. Fresh Texas beef that had been driven up the trail to the railroad. So fresh they were still moving. Abilene was at its height. A short season in the sun until the railroad built a spur closer to the trail.

Hardin and Holliday had a great deal in common. Both were Southerners. Too young to serve in the Civil War they still had the attitudes common to young men from that section of the country. They had no love for the Union, Yankees, the government or blacks.  They sat quietly and enjoyed their repast. Two deadly men not afraid to break bread.

“What made you decide to ride up the trail John Wesley” asked Holliday? “I don't reckon riding herd would be something that would interest you.” “Why would you say that John. Not to say that you are wrong. Following a cows behind and eating his dust is not what I would call fun. I just needed to get out of Texas. It was getting too hot for me at home.” “I know the feeling. Sometimes that’s just the way the cards fall. You can rest for a while. Hickok seems to like you so that is something to hold on to. In another town the Marshal might just want to try you on to get himself a reputation.”

Heartland is a great show....except for one big problem

It's really hard to find something decent to watch on TV these days. Everything is filled with serial killers and degradation. We are always on the look out for a nice show that we can watch during dinner or right before we go to bed so we don't have nightmares. Lately Heartland has filled the bill.

Set in Alberta Canada it is basically an old fashioned family Western. It is about Amy Flemming who is a "horse whispers" who has an uncanny connection with horse. Her extended family is all part of the mix. The scenery is outstanding and they always have an interesting story with some conflict but not the desperate degradation of something like Hawaii Five O or Chicago PD.

There is only one big problem

Is it me or does Amy look exactly like a young Hillary Clinton?

Ladies of the West

She leaned back in her chair and adjusted her shawl over her ample bosom. Mr. Ford glanced at it appreciatively even though she was an old, old woman. He was a man made for appreciating women. No matter how old.  It was clear as the nose on her face. A nose so large that she was known as Big Nosed Kate to most. In the old days. The days he wanted to hear about.

Ford took a pipe out of his pocket. He absent-mindedly started to fill it with tobacco and lit it. I reckon he didn't think a little smoke would bother me. The ash tray full of butts must have been a clue.

“So Mr. Ford do we have a deal. I am willing to talk about those days and give you the true story. Not the one I have seen in the picture show. Where they make that Bastard Earp a Saint. He was far from that. Very far from that. What’s in it for me?”

“I can arrange a stipend for you Mrs. Cummings. Either a lump sum or a smaller monthly payment. It depends.”

“On what?”

“On what you have to tell.”

“Oh I have a lot to tell. You will get your money’s worth. Nobody was ever cheated by Big Nose Kate. You always got your monies worth. So before we palaver  I need to see the color of your money.”

“What do you expect Ma’am? That I put the money on your table? That seems sort of…I don’t know…crass.”

“Put it on the nightstand honey. It’s traditional. I told you. I’m a whore. I was Doc’s whore. Ringo’s. The Earp’s. More swinging dicks than I can count. I ain’t bashful. Show me how much you are putting there and I will tell you some of what you want to know.”

Ford stood up and reached into the front pocket of his tweed jacket. He took out a billfold and removed a $100 bill. He folded it and handed it to young McLemore who was hiding in the background trying to be quiet as a mouse so he would not miss anything. “Put it on the Lady’s nightstand Lad and leave us. I think Mrs. Cummings would like some privacy.”

“Call me Kate. All the boys did. At least the ones that paid me. Where do you want me to start?”

 “In the beginning if you would.”

Ladies of the West

Kate sat in her chair and stared out the window of her small room in the Arizona desert. She was a charity case now. The Pioneers home was where they kept the old fossils these days. Nobody much cared about them. They only cared about the War over in Europe and if we were going to be pulled into it. In 1940 Doc Holliday’s whore was old news.

Baszd szajba az anyadat! They did want her story for free. Some of these newspaper men tried to get her to talk about her life. For free. They should know a whore never does anything for free.

She knew she was a whore. Once she had dreams. When she married the dentist. Silas had been a good man. She had loved him and the baby they had. But the fever had taken them both and she was alone. So she turned to working on her back as it was the only occupation open to her at the time.

Life was strange. She took up with another Dentist. Doc. He didn’t practice much. In fact he was a pretty piss poor dentist. Still the times they had. Until it all turned to shit. Because of those god damned Earps.

There was a knock at the door. Soft. Tentative. She almost thought that she had dreamed it. Then it happened again.

“Who is it?”

“It’s John McLemore Mrs. Cummings. I wonder if we could have a word. I have someone I would like to introduce to you.”

A kurva istenit! What now! McLemore was the front desk clerk. She had to keep him sweet if she wanted anything. Like cigarettes or a newspaper. Baszd meg! She had to let him in.

“Come in. Come in.”

The weedy desk clerk came into the room ushering a tall man in tweeds wearing a slouch hat and an eyepatch of all things. He had a presence. Not like the old gunmen. Still and all he had something. He was a man. A man to be reckoned with. She would have fucked him.

“Mrs. Cummings I would like to introduce you to someone. This is a very famous Hollywood Director. Mr. John Ford. He wanted to meet you.”

Whose that girl?

 
One of the most beautiful women of her time ....she was famous for refusing to live in the Vallee and  having a "Mona Lisa" smile....because she had a stroke.

She was a femme fatale in a bunch of film noir movies but I loved her playing a very famous historical character in a favorite Western episode. In fact that episode is worth a whole movie if anybody had half a brain. What a babe!

Whose that girl?