Via Instapundit (the Instahusband): Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.
The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.
Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.
Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.
The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.
Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.
Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.
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15 comments:
Anybody who gets married for the sex doesn't know much about either.
The whole premise is wrong. It's not about sex at all. As always, women usually want to get married for security, children, and the social pressure against never getting married. They will often accept a less than optimal man to get that. Men usually pop the question becuase they want to give the woman they love the one thing she really wants. They hope to make her happy, and satisfied to a point that he will get her absolute highest approval, maybe get some relief from the pressure, and get a happy family with children.
Today, although the woman usually gets what she's after to some degree, she has far more options, and so the man often ends up with none of what he bargained for. Her dissatisfaction soon rises again, and he is insufficient. He gets less peace than ever, and is soon robbed of his family and children, and left with nothing but obligation. I wonder why that would not be more popular.
Of course that's not always the outcome, but it so much more common, that most of us know many more marriages that go that way than do not. The odds are not in a man's favor - not even close, while even in divorce, women are often happy with the outcome, get their freedom back, and get support, both financial, and social until they find a new man if they even want that.
Men are being pragmatic. Being single has it's drawbacks, but if they stay pragmatic, they will stay unmarried, at least until the woman's options diminish.
And yes, women are too easy today. A man loses serious interest in any woman who has had lots of sex, no matter how attractive she may otherwise be. It's very hard to find a woman today with the self-discipline to not undervalued herself at the hands of a man who is attractive but not at all interested in her as a person.
I'll never get married again and if that photo is any indication then someone had a great time. Getting married for the sex is idiocy. You don't even need to get married for that.
Odds for men having any modicum of happiness in life is not in their favor, Antifa men notwithstanding. Those guys are just miserable sods.
As far as men being pragmatic, this is true. I can only speak for myself, but being single with all of its drawbacks, which are few, is vastly more preferable to being married. I can do what I want, when I want, how I want, with whomever I want, if they want. :D I have more time and available income to do it too. I'm not against marriage, but the state has made it so onerous and painful to divorce and with the advantage heavily being towards women, that i wouldn't even bother with it. Do I get lonely sometimes? Sure, but then I remember that i am here now and it's good.
I agree with Bags, particularly his first comment. As I grow older, I can't imagine facing my post retirement years without loving children to help guide me when I will no longer be able to do so.
Sex has always been as cheap as your preference level allows. The internet just broadened the market so its easier to find something cheaper and more preferable.
Wait till a new heterosexual venereal disease comes along.
This is not interesting to me. It approaches the subject with chopsticks.
What IS interesting to me are the dudes who, in light of all that is spoken of and analyzed, made different choices than I did and how they manage to be happy and completed. I have two brothers for intimate comparisons. They both made standard choices in accordance with how we were raised to do. They both did the whole point of our raising. They fulfilled our parents intention for us. They both do not regard me an oddball for not going along with the program. Even my own dad said, "You know, Bobby, I think you are smart for not getting married." Even he considered marriage, as American institution, a loser's endeavor with the actual laws stacked against men . Both brothers failed miserably and incredibly hurtfully the first go. That left lasting damage and scars. The second go they adjusted their choices differently from each other. And they're both tremendously pleased. They're both very solid. They both focus diligently on their marriages. They're both fairly welded and inseparable from their mates, they share e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i--n-g, even their thoughts! Every joke is incomplete until their wife hears it and laughs too. They both really REALY REALLY dig being daddies. Their children have delighted them with no apparent end to it. And their wives are the lights of their lives. And my two sisters have similar stories. And they're not bullshitting either. I see them live what they're saying. I see them living more than they're saying.
Less intimate examples are also interesting to me.
I've been watching two dudes who make absurd videos. Mostly about comparing food. (Incidentally, the shorter one with dark hair looks exactly like Eddy Stotko did at his age. The resemblance is startling. Excect Eddy walked pigeon-toed, and with a teenager's slouch.) Apart from their video material I find myself interested in how these two men maintain their pre-marriage bond while also speaking about their wives and their children. It's like they unofficially married each other first. That's what comes across. At first I assumed they weren't married. They behave as unmarried men. But their hands are well visible so we see thin gold rings on the left fourth digits and their wives are actually involved with their video production, we hear them sometimes supporting off camera responding, and with pre and post video production, and they have a very large subscription following. Their wives are crucial to their productions. Their videos are up there at a million views each. Even though most their content is crap. Its their confab that's entertaining, the subject at hand merely vehicle. Here is their hot snack attack throwdown for example. Other examples are worse. Much worse. Their asides about their married lives are the most interesting these two guys get as we see them just messing around like a couple of dopes. And that right there is what you call the coordination of love as observed in practice. That is interesting to me.
My rates have gone up so.. I'm not sure I follow.
What is the deal with the picture of the car?
Oh, now I get it. The dust on the hood is wiped like a snow angel. And the implication of that is someone was playing snow angel on the car.
It's a terrible way to clean a car hood. It could create scratches in the finish. It's like my daddy used to always say, "boy, don't go around playing snow angel on car hoods. It scratches them."
So we're back to "Who needs to buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?"
I thought we moved on past that attitude years ago.
Objectively, marriage is a minefield for today's young men. Lots of downside. If some are giving it pass, who can blame them?
Off topic: People in my area are constantly writing on dusty cars (not mine, I keep it clean) stuff like "Clean me" or even "Please clean me".
Damn what a bunch of busy bodies.
The irony is then they go around with a filthy finger.
They are the lights of their lives.
There it is. The truth and grace in the middle of what matters most.
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