When it was OK for a Presidential Candidate to Smell your hair

"Oh Ronnie we can't do this. What will Nancy say?"
"Don't worry sweetheart. It's not like we are married or anything. I just want to smell your hair. What is that lovely scent? Chanel?"
"No it is just Dippity Do. I use it to get this hairstyle. All the girls in the chorus do."
"It's smells ....like Freedom. Can we be free Angie?"
"Sure just not with your hands. Who do you think you are sir?"
"I am your candidate darling and I want your vote."

I would like to point out something to you......

But I forgot what it was.

Oh yeah now I remember. What ever happened to blake?

Global Warming in my Pants.

You know what this shut down of our economy for this overstated flu bug is really about?

It is a practice run for shutting us down because of global warming.

Think about it. No food in the supermarket. People informing on their neighbors. The police arresting you for not following the dictates of every petty tyrant elected mayor or governor who want to abrogate the constitution by closing down the liquor and gun stores. The government deciding if your business or job is essential. Everyone dependent on a government check.

It is communism pure and simple.

The same experts that said millions would die when the total will be about 20,000 are the ones who tell us that global warming will destroy the world in twelve years. They will outlaw personal automobiles and air conditioning. They will proscribe certain foods like beef and demand we only eat carbon neutral produced food like soybeans. Or Soylent Green for that matter.

Many of the horrible scenarios from the science fiction movies of the past are coming true. Some think it will be like "Blade Runner." Others think it will be "Logan's Run" where the elderly will be killed off. Still others think it will be "Soylent Green."

Me I think it will be like "Planet of the Apes."

Welcome your new Overlords:

Betty White is a Whore

So many old farts are kicking off these days. John Prine. Al Kaline. Joe Diffe. Tom Dempsy.

But you know who is going strong?

Betty White.

She is going strong singing a song and sucking on a wiener.

That's because Betty White is a whore.

RIP AL Kaline

There were a lot of guys who killed the Yankees back in the day. Some of them you hated like Yaz and Rico and Denny Mc Clain.

But some guys you respected and wished were on your team. Brooks Robinson. Boog Powell. Joe Rudi. Frank Robinson. Willie Mays. Willie Mc Covey. Willie Stargel. Most of all there was Al Kaline.

A great player. A class guy. A real gentlemen.

The best praise I can give him is that he would have made a great Yankee.

They don't make guys like Al Kaline anymore.

Rip Al.

RIP John Prine

I used to listen to him a lot when I was in college.

Recently I have been playing him on my Alexa.

Rip John. You did good son.

Marilyn's Diary

We were always very health conscious in the Munster family.  Aunt Lily made us eat right and was ahead of her time in her use of herbal homeopathic remedies. She cooked all of our dinners and we were all fit as a fiddle. Even Uncle Herman which was an impressive feat since he was made of over 1,545 different people that the Doctor back in the old country used to create him. Some of them must have been sickly after all since they were dead when he took the parts. Still and all we were remarkably healthy.

Aunt Lily was a good if eclectic cook. She made the normal fair. Macaroni and frog.  Spaghetti and newt sauce.  Every thing was fine until one day she made something that got us all sick. You see she made Chinese bat soup.

We all got sick. Eddie started coughing and wheezing. He sounded just like he did when he whacked off when he stole some of my pee stained panties. Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman changed color. Normally they were green but they turned pink. It was a little terrifying.

The worst of course was Grandpa. You see he was the most at risk, He was the oldest considering he was over three thousand years old. And he had a underlying condition. You see he was a vampire so when he sucked out blood he would get all kinds of esoteric blood diseases. He was the first person to discover sickle cell anemia because he liked him some brown sugar. So he was really affected.

Eventually we all got better. As usual these things are wildly overstated. I mean it wasn't the plague or berri berri or anything like that there. It did effect Grandpa the most I guess because it got him interested in medicine. He got a part time job as a technician with this doctor named Marcus Welby.  He was famous for hiring odd people. He had the first wetback nurse and his partner was a retard who was so dumb he ended up marrying Barbara Striesnd.

So Grandpa started working for him. Of course he was up to his old tricks. He wrote some numbers on his dick and told the patients that it was a thermometer. Some of these Hollywood people were so dumb that he believed it. Grandpa really loved to take their temperature.

You see he always did it anally.

Grandpa was a scamp.

When quarantine goes bad...if you live in a spook house

KLEM FM

The steady drip, drip, drip, of bad news and anti-Trump media sentiment (which is not news) is just torture:

That track is actually from a Disney vinyl I had as a kid.  Like "The Song Of The South," you just can't make that stuff any more.
____________________________

I promised deborah a shot of my (white) calla lilies, which are in bloom:

There are three levels of flar goin' on. There is a bottom row of tulips which came and went in February. What's left of them can be seen better here:

Tulips are interspersed between rocks and sand. Lilies and star jasmine are rooted in the higher soil, covered with Korean grass. The star jasmine, the climber on the racks, is not yet in bloom; this should happen out here in May or whenever the weather holds steady above 70.

Added: A "before" shot taken that first year when I was still working on the inside:

Where this all got started....I knew back in 1968

"Bat Soup Hossaroni!"




It was always in the cards. We just never knew.

Simple Man

It's become my theme song these days.

On Waiting for the Word, Finding Balance, and Feat of Klee

Earlier in the week, I came upon the word “Shellshock” as the title of a post by J. Treacher.  Without agreeing to the rest of what he’d written, I appreciated finding that word and these from him as they helped me recognize what I was experiencing, and move from there to  find a sense of center and balance again:  You'd have to be crazy not to be scared right now. This is all happening too fast, there's too much information and misinformation and disinformation getting blasted at you all at once, and the consequences of everything that's happening are too big to wrap your head around. It's hard to know what's going on or who to trust.   While that may seem over the top or too much for some here, it resonated with me.

Following edutcher’s nut-shell declaration and encapsulation of stir crazy as one description of what could be experienced by the many who've been following the 15 Days to STS and state issued stay at home directives, I kept looking for a word or way to describe what I was feeling, which wasn’t stir crazy and didn’t involve panic yet included an underlying sense of fear and dread, along with a strong lack of trust. I wasn’t trusting myself not to be careless in washing, face-touching or contact with surfaces and things coming into my house, while also not trusting the honesty and motives of those who were providing information and guidance, and making life affecting decisions.  Where to obtain reliable information was a struggle, along with determining how much time and energy I wanted to spend immersing myself in looking for it. I’d felt  troubled and confounded by my inability to pull away from all that was going on (even without any MSM contact) and engage in fruitful or creative activity beyond immediate self care and life maintenance. 

As a trauma survivor, my own fear of being powerless in the face of threat, bodily harm, loss, or death is easily activated.  The old neural pathways are still there, like worn ruts in the road for me to fall back into, and it takes a conscious effort on my part to remain present, recognize reality, reach out,  find balance and move forward in truth and grace. 

Looking into "shellshock" helped me understand what was rattling in me, and Paul Klee's Tightrope Walker, pictured above, served as the visual that allowed me to use my imagination to "see" what was happening and needed at the crossroads where feeling and thought come together in integration to result in the action of a next step. (In resurrecting the Kandinsky book, I'd also picked up the one on Klee and it was sitting next to me by the computer when I happened to open it while listening to one of the daily WH Press conferences, saw the Tightrope Walker and thought, Yes this is it!  This is what I am doing right now, what the president is doing, what our nation is doing and what the world is attempting to do--walk the tightrope and survive!) 

The Twittering Machine pictured below was done by Klee in 1922.  It preceded The Tightrope Walker by a year, which intrigued me as a fitting sequence in light of the twitterings and turning of the crank that have been taking place at all levels.  

Although both pictures were created a lifetime ago, they offer visuals that invites present-day recognition and awareness as we seek wisdom, accept responsibility, hold onto hope, look for light in darkness, and respond as needed to ongoing encounters with gravity and levity.  

From a personal, national or global point of view, art, which sometimes has the ability to include and transcend each, can serve as an invite.  

Who or what is turning your crank?  What tightrope are you walking?  What's helping you find balance?  What crossroads have you reached?  What direction are you heading?     

In the Comments: Dad Bones said:

Shellshock is a good word. I heard the gun go off and it sounded kinda close but AFAIK I didn't get hit nor did anyone I know. How much longer will I be able to say that? Or will it eventually just fade away because it wanted to and not because of anything we did to protect ourselves from it? I wouldn't know. I'm just another civilian in this war.

On Uber With a B and Tips for Survival

This one's dedicated to Trooper York as he shelters in place under the TY Big Top.  

Out-of-work strippers are delivering food through Boober Eats

"Portland finds a way. Close down her strip clubs, and dancers will do delivery.
That’s what’s happening at the Lucky Devil Lounge. The club was forced to close with Gov. Kate Brown’s mandate to stem the spread of coronavirus, but the order does allow food establishments to offer take-out or delivery...It became very real when all this happened,” said one of the dancers, who goes by the stage name Olivia. “Dancers work for tips and tips only.”

And thus was born club owner Shon Boulden’s newest business: Boober Eats. The home delivery service, in which a pair of scantily clad strippers will deliver hot food to your door, started as a joke Boulden posted on social media. When people began seriously inquiring about orders, Boulden saw potential...'It’s crazy,' Boulden said.  'We mutated our one business into a totally different style of business.' 

All dancers are driven and escorted by a security guard. And there’s at least one rule that carries over from the strip club to a pandemic – no touching the dancers."

KLEM FM

Because we do...

...or perhaps we need a little Easter.

If you watch the video, see if you can spot a very young Kenny Rogers. He's the guy playing the bass.