The Buffalo fan, who did not divulge his name, appeared on a podcast with trainwrecksports after Sunday’s game to explain the mystery of the sordid toy that flopped onto Ralph Wilson Stadium’s grass.
“Me and my girlfriend were ’70s porn stars for Halloween, and she left a rubber dildo at my buddy’s house,” he said.
The party was Saturday, and when he woke up Sunday, he spotted that it was left behind.
“I’m thinking pretty much in my head this is Tom Brady’s dildo, so I saw it … I wrote in sharpie ‘Tom Brady’s dildo’ on it.”
That was the easy part. Well, they all were easy parts, apparently. He said he had no issue whatsoever with security, as a simple extra pair of pants either adequately concealed his companion or scared off security.
“I wore two pairs of pants,” he said. “… I just put it in there, they didn’t even pat me down. I walked right in with it.”
He let it fly late in the third quarter as the Patriots were driving for what would be a touchdown. As wide receiver Chris Hogan was brought down, TV cameras captured the 12th man on the field.
“My goal was pretty much to get it as far as I could on the field,” he said. “I was in row 18 I believe, I was pretty far away.”
Too far away for Bills police justice. The fan said he had no issues with Buffalo security, who didn’t know where the toss came from.
“Everyone was just stunned,” he said. “… Everyone was just looking at the field at the time I threw it, and no one came, I didn’t get in trouble.”
Judge Richard M. Berman of Federal District Court in Manhattan did not rule on whether Brady tampered with the footballs in a bid for competitive advantage. Instead, he focused on the narrower question of whether the collective bargaining agreement between the N.F.L. and the players union gave Goodell the authority to carry out the suspension. Judge Berman ruled that it did not.
The 40-page decision picked apart the N.F.L.’s case, finding a number of “significant legal deficiencies” that reflected Berman’s skepticism in recent court hearings.
Berman said Brady could not be suspended for “general awareness” of others’ conduct, as an N.F.L. investigative report determined.
“The court finds that Brady had no notice that he could receive a four-game suspension for general awareness of ball deflation by others or participation in any scheme to deflate footballs, and noncooperation with the ensuing investigation,’’ Berman wrote.
“No N.F.L. policy or precedent notifies players that they may be disciplined (much less suspended) for general awareness of misconduct by others,’’ he added.
In a stunning statement, Goodell alleged that Brady’s “very troubling’’ coverup effort involved instructing his assistant to destroy his cellphone less than 24 hours before he was interviewed by Ted Wells, the NFL’s special investigator in Deflategate.
The scandal rose from the charge that Patriots equipment attendants improperly deflated footballs below the league standard before Brady led the team to a 45-7 victory over the Indianapolis Colts on Jan. 18 in the American Football Conference Championship game.
Where did Brady got the idea to destroy his server, I mean his phone?
"The result was released on Wednesday: a 243-page investigative report, which included a 68-page scientific report and appendices. But, truthfully, all of it could have been boiled down to a single sentence: Tom Brady — one of the most accomplished N.F.L. quarterbacks ever — is more probably than not a cheater."
