"The Meeting of the Failed Reality Stars Justice League is called to Order!"

“I would like to call this meeting of the Failed Reality Stars Justice League to Order! Snookie stop blowing the Duck Dynasty Guy and sit down. Brandy Glanville pull your dress down nobody wants to see your tampon string you nasty piece of work. Somebody put the midgets on the milk crate so they can see over the table. All right. Settle down. Let me turn to our recording Secretary Sharon Osborne to go over the minutes of the meeting.”

“Thank you Trooper. Old Business. We have agreed to expel all contestants from “The Amazing Race” because we want to be politically correct and we don’t want to play the race card.”

“I don’t think that is what the race card is” said Jwow. “I think the race card is what you pull when you want to get a job that you are not qualified so they give it to you so you won’t sue them or something. You know like how Obama got elected.”

“Shut up you bimbo. It is if I say it is. If you don’t shut up I will have Ozzie start singing. Or better yet start talking. Now as to new business. What are you all doing to get one of our most famous members Donald Trump elected President?”

“I thought I had the most famous member” said Caitlyn Jenner.

“Not until you cut if off you freaking weirdo. Anybody else?”

“Well I have been distracting Chris Christie by bending down in front of him and giving him a Jersey Turnpike” said Deena as she bent down in front of a midget and thrust her ample ass against his diminutive crotch.

“Give me a freakin’ break! You could distract that mook with a freaking Donut! Who else?”

“Well I offered to go on a date with Lindsey Graham and then I could claim he tried to rape me” said Mama June. “But he wasn’t interested. He wasn’t even interested in Honey Boo Boo like that nice boy from the sandwich commercials who offered to give her a free foot long.”

“We are just surrounded with idiots. Anybody else? Amarosa?”

“Well I offered to call up Dr.  Ben Carson so I could get him all hot and bothered so he will stroke out like I did with the dude from the Green Mile. But he only likes chicks that look like Mom’s Mabley. So it was a no go.”

“Didn’t anybody accomplish anything? Trooper. Give us something good.”

“Well I have been trolling a bunch of morons from Wisconsin. They think they are the super smart elite because they have been to Milwaukee and shit. They think that people from New York are ignorant hicks. Like we don’t meet more people from all over the world in a day that they haven’t met in a freaking lifetime in Palookaville. They are foaming at the mouth because of my pro Trump posts on this Puerto Rican guy’s website. I even have one poor slob spewing personal attacks non- stop because he hates us ex-reality stars. And McDonalds. For some reason he hates hamburgers. Anyhoo I am keeping those Obama voters occupied so the Donald can get the white working class to get off the Barcaloungers and out to vote. All he needs to do is rough up ReRun at one of his rallies and water board a broad in a towel and he is in like Flynn.”

“Great. At least somebody is accomplishing something. Meeting adjourned. We have Jägermeister and cannolis for everybody. LET’S PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!”