pistol, suction cup darts

Need a present idea for the person who has everything and who buys whatever they think of? And who also watches television sometimes?

Give this idea a chance. Amazon dart gun 2 pistols, 5 inches, it looks like ten darts each. For when Carl Rove comes on or any other unsavory fellow.

I believe these pistols have potential to boost mental health and sharpen hand eye coordination and reaction time. I want them. I will use both pistols and unload both packages of darts in series, my screen will be covered with darts. And all those people who come on to vex me are transformed to something useful and fun and good to have appear on the screen. "There you are, blam, five points as you are low value target" and so on as you watch, adding up points for yourself making television more pleasant, relaxing, charming and interactive. 

Yes, I believe grown men will love these.

Antagonists, organizers, political types want to use their mouths to push words in your ears, carriers of their malevolent ideas, so use their flappy mouths instead as targets. It will be fun. And two people can play. 

This Christmas gift can release such joy unto the world beyond your present imaginings. The people will not think of buying this delightful item themselves, being a toy it will never even occur to them, but once in their hands and shooting immediately, irresistably, at whomever for their own reasons, and seeing them stick, instead of bounce all over the place as Nerf darts do, they will wonder how they ever enjoyed life without them. You will be cheered and admired as perceptive gift buyer where cost of things means nothing at all.

But what if it fails? That happens sometimes. Gifts sometimes fail so you say, and this goes for anything, "If you don't like it I will not be offended if you have somebody in mind to re-gift it." They will smile when you say that because it lets them off the hook and makes you appear generous, and they're thinking in that moment what if they give it someone you don't like, but there is no extra generosity to it. If they give away your gift even without mentioning you, then your gift counts as two splendid gifts. 

Counts as two among who? Among the gift-generosity karma counting fairies, I don't know. All I know is this silly crap really works. You should buy them.